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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25286875">Hold my hand (I’ll take you anywhere)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/hotmudwateronice/pseuds/hotmudwateronice'>hotmudwateronice</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Last of Us</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abby (flashbacks), Bullying, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, High School AU, Joel is the best dad ever, Mentions of homophobia, Mild Blood, Mild Sexual Content, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Swearing, Underage Drinking, foster father of the year, kinda slow burn, lots of swearing, mild violence, smoking weed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 10:07:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>111,084</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25286875</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/hotmudwateronice/pseuds/hotmudwateronice</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Starting a new school was scary when you’d basically been kicked out of the last one. Haunted by her violent past, Ellie wants to fade into the background; but someone notices her. </p><p>Or </p><p>Ellie being a mess, Dina making her into more of a mess as they slowly fall in love.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dina/Ellie (The Last of Us), Esther/Joel (The Last of Us), Maria/Tommy (The Last of Us)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>323</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1491</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. First Meeting</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This story was fully intended to be short, maybe five chapters at most. But this thing basically wrote itself, and now it’s looking more like 15 at the least. </p><p>I don’t know much about American high-schools, as a European. But we can get past that, right? </p><p>And a possible trigger warning; there is mild violence, descriptions of blood, homophobia, use or slurs, and mentions of death.</p><p>One more thing: I do not own these characters, only the OC’s. I am not affiliated with Naughty Dog or any other participating parties.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie was probably the weirdest, strangest, most enigmatic person in school.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">At least, that’s what Dina thought. In a good way. Ellie had started Jackson High school just a week ago, and gave off the impression that she was a bit of loner, but preferred it that way.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She was sort of lanky, long limbed but subtly muscular. Not much taller than Dina herself, really.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She’d walk the halls with her hands bulging in her pockets, some kind of oversized flannel or denim shirt hanging off of her, backpack half way open - Dina didn’t know if she knew it was always open, truthfully. Maybe the zipper was just broken.</span>
</p><p class="p1">She was in a few of Dina’s classes, situated wherever the teacher decided. Dina had never even spoken to her and she could just tell she’d rather be in the back row, in her own personal space.</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She had noticed ink on her hand one day, before realising it was the start of a tattoo. Dina assumed she’d either gotten it illegally or was one of the oldest Seniors in the school. She really wanted to see the tattoo, because, well, reasons. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The auburn haired girl always wore her hair the same, a small bun at the back of her head with half just brushing her shoulders.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oh, and one more thing. She only had 8 fingers. Maybe that’s why she always had her hands shoved deep into her jeans pockets.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina didn’t think many people - anyone at all, actually - knew she was missing two fingers yet. If they did it would be the talk of school - it wasn’t everyday you crossed a teenager with amputated appendages, after all.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina had been pretty much infatuated with her ever since she first saw her leaning against the lockers. Something about her just radiated mysterious, and Dina was encapsulated in it almost instantly.</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Every morning since then she saw her next to lockers, flipping through what looked to be comic book. Dina had never gravitated towards fiction, especially Sci-Fi or superheroes. She got the appeal, but it never entertained her. Most kids at the high school liked the movies, but that was it - comics and actually </span> <span class="s2">reading </span> <span class="s1">was seen as nerdy or geeky.</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But Dina didn’t really know what kind of vibe she got from Ellie, and it both excited her and scared her a little. After all, she was missing two fingers, who knows how that happened?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She’d noticed them as most of pupils had headed to class, rushing through the halls to scrape getting to their classes on time before the teachers nagged them. Dina had a free period, so decided to just wait in the hallway to see where miss-mysterious would head off to.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When the halls were practically empty, Ellie had retrieved her hand from her pocket and moved that lock of hair that always seemed to fall out of place behind her ear.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina recalled her eyes widening in shock at the sight of the two red stumps on her left hand.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She guessed some people would’ve been weirded out or even disgusted at the sight, but if anything, it captured Dina’s attention even more.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">An attractive and quiet loner with toned arms and missing fingers? Dina was hooked, helplessly intrigued.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The school bell chimed loudly, breaking Dina out of her thoughts. Students bustled noisily, expressing their joy of the day being over and the start of their weekend. Whether it be partying, drinking, hanging out, everyone had plans.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina decided to hang back whilst the class hurried through the doors, hoping that tall and mysterious would be at her usual place near the lockers.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After the wave of teenagers cleared, Dina was ecstatic to know that she was right, and Ellie was there, an oversized short-sleeve demin shirt hanging off of her frame, showing her tattoo in all of its glory.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was beautiful and almost hypnotic seeing it. The ink twisted around her arm, almost reaching her elbow crease. From afar Dina could tell it was some kind of leaf pattern which led into a moth or a butterfly - she was too far away to make out the fine details.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina decided to just throw herself in there. Confidently, she strutted closer to Ellie and stood right next to her against the lockers, peering nosily at her phone. “So you got any plans for the weekend?” Dina quipped, “Or are you just gonna read...” she peered at Ellie’s phone again, “Star Wars off your phone for two days?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie scoffed and shoved her phone in her back pocket, “First of all, it’s not Star Wars. It’s Savage Starlight. And secondly, do I know you?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina smiled sweetly, “Okayyy,” she drew out, “Savage Sunlight, then. And you don’t, but you do now. My name is Dina.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ellie.” She said curtly, if not a little wary. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2"><em>Maybe this will be a little harder than I thought</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well, Ellie... How come you’re just standing here when you have an entire weekend waiting for you?” Dina shuffled forward, getting closer.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie raised a brow and laughed nervously, forest eyes scanning over the other girl, “Just waiting for my ride.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina leant onto the lockers, her head mere centimetres from Ellie’s shoulder, “You don’t talk much, do you?” It was more of a matter of fact statement rather than a question.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina didn’t miss the slight redness that started to crop up on her cheeks. It was sweet. Dina couldn’t tell if she was naturally quiet or painfully shy. She decided to try and prompt her again, “Are you always this quiet or do you forget English when a girl tries to talk to you?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The blush deepened so much Dina almost felt sympathetic.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Uhmmm,” Ellie started, “Just... just quiet, I guess?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina flashed her another smile, a typical, confident smile that everyone knew her for, “So where can I read this Shambled Starlight, then? Looks kinda interesting.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s - ugh never mind-“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">—————-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It became a regular occurrence. Dina would harass Ellie every day at the lockers, and she knew Ellie was starting to warm up to her.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina still spent her lunch times and breaks with her friends, Jesse, Ollie and Emily.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Things weren’t particularly weird between herself and Jesse. They’d broken up at the start of summer, before the start of their senior year. Jesse had been loyal, as she had been too, but their spark had been dying for a long time. They’d been on and off for a while, and the two ultimately decided that if they couldn’t make it now, they couldn’t make it ever.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She still loved him as a loyal friend, and she’d always have a soft spot for him, but they knew their romance was long gone, left to gather dust and be mostly forgotten about, a distant, but cherished memory.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They’d even hooked up a couple of times since their break up, but it had been a few months since their last impulsive meet up. It had been fun, but they both decided they should move on to new people and focus on theirselves more.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She was happy that they could mutually agree on things. She admired him for that.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina shook herself out of her thoughts as she approached her friends at an outside table. The day was warm, most of the school was undoubtably outside, playing soccer or sitting in the grass as the sun beat down on them.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She took a seat between Jesse and Emily at the circular table. Jesse wore a white tank and black shorts and Emily wore a cute summer dress, with her blonde hair loosely platted and whirled up into a bun. “Man, it’s hot today.” She huffed, back of her hand wiping the sweat that started to bead on her forehead.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jesse handed Dina a cold bottle of water before flapping the bottom of his tank shirt, trying to circulate cool air over his abdomen, “You’re telling me. I kinda feel bad for you girls, long hair must suck in this weather.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Emily and Dina shared an understanding look before Emily patted Dina’s leg, “It does suck, Jesse. Which means you should take us for ice cream after school.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ollie bunched up the sleeves of his off-white t-shirt to his shoulders, rolling his dark eyes,  “You’re as bad as Dina, Em. Wrapping dudes around your finger to get what you want.” He didn’t say it maliciously, it was just harmless teasing.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Emily smirked and swiped Jesse’s water bottle from across Dina’s body, “Or you two are just too easy to win over.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jesse laughed and retrieved his drink from Emily’s hands, “You should’ve seen how many dudes tried to step up to me when Dina and I were dating. It’s just ‘Dina charm’, she doesn’t even need to interact with them for them to have a crush on her.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina flipped her hair, fluttering her eyelashes flirtatiously, “What can I say? I was born with perfect genes.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jesse and Ollie gave each other knowing looks before digging into their food. They both played sports and it was rare to see them eating junk foods or drinking sugary drinks, they were dedicated to their diets and often went to the gym together. Sometimes Dina and Emily tagged along too. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So,” Jesse began, swallowing a chunk of his protein bar, “Who’s the new girl you’ve been hanging around with, Dina? Seen you with her at the lockers.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina was lucky it was hot outside, otherwise her friends might have spotted her cheeks getting just a little warmer, “Thought she seemed cool, started talking to her about a week into the school year.” She played it off casually. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“She seems kinda quiet, surprised she can cope with you talking her head off.” Ollie said, a teasing smirk on his features.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina shrugged in response, “She is quiet, but I kinda like that. Bit of a dork, though.” She didn’t want to talk too much about Ellie, not wanting to disrespect her reservedness. Dina suspected there may be a reason she didn’t talk about herself that much, but the possibility of her just being quiet and naturally reserved was a viable option.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Emily sipped her water, seemingly thinking on her words a little before she said them, “I’ve seen her around a few times. Looks kinda badass.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina shrugged, “I mean we only ever talk for like five minutes at a time, but I get what you mean. Maybe you’ll change your mind when I tell you that she reads comic books, those superhero ones with spaceships and stuff.”</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Ollie snorted, “You’re right, she </span> <span class="s2">is </span> <span class="s1">a dork.” Again, Dina knew he wasn’t saying it in a nasty way, sometimes he was just blunt and said things how they were.</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina smirked, but Jesse talked before Dina could reply, “I just wanna know who her personal trainer is. Girl looks like she kick Ollie’s ass.” He said with a teasing smirk. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ollie punched Jesse’s shoulder, “Shut up, man. I could take her.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina giggled, resting her head in one of her hands, “Could you though? I’ve seen her up close, I know I for sure wouldn’t wanna mess with her.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I wouldn’t either,” Emily added, “She’s got a nice face and all but she always looks like she’s got a stick up her ass. Don’t think I’ve ever seen her without a frown on her face.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">“Maybe she needs glasses?” Ollie quipped in. </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You wouldn’t say that if you spoke to her, trust me.” Said Dina, voice a little softer than before, “She’s actually quite sweet. Fumbles over her words and all that, like she’s scared she’s gonna offend me or something.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jesse gave her a look that Dina couldn’t quite dissect. She was about to say something to him but Ollie beat her to it, “Ooooh, Jesse. Looks like Dina has finally found your replacement.”</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">The air seemed to shift just a bit, not noticeable to Ollie or Emily, but Dina swore she could just catch a glimpse of <em>something</em></span>  <span class="s1">on Jesse’s face. She didn’t think it could be jealously or protectiveness, after all, they had mutually decided to end their relationship and hookups months ago.</span></p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Perhaps it was just because he was a little uncomfortable with the possibility of Dina moving on to someone else. He had no problem with them both being single and <em>available</em></span> <span class="s2">, </span> <span class="s1">but maybe he didn’t know how to process the idea of her being with someone else. She could understand that; their romance had lasted a few years. </span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina tore her face away from Jesse’s direction and threw her empty water bottle at Ollie, “I don’t have a crush on her, Jesus. She’s my friend, dickhead.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay, okay. Sheeesh, Dina, what’s made you so violent today? Did you get your per-“ </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">This time it was Emily who launched a plastic bottle at him. It rebounded straight off of his forehead and bounced back onto the table.<br/></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That would’ve been sick if it had landed upright. Bottle flips are back in, you know?” Jesse laughed, smacking Ollie on the back. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They spent the remainder of lunch laughing in the sun. <br/><br/>When Dina entered her final class of the day, her eyes fell onto Ellie, slumped back in her seat.<br/></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A flutter disrupted Dina’s stomach.<br/></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oh dear. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. My Parents Aren’t Home</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Weeks passed of Dina and Ellie chatting at the lockers. Ellie had seemed to open up a bit, starting to ask Dina about her day and instigating the conversations. She was still a nervous, fumbling mess most of the times, but Dina didn’t mind; it was cute.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie when she was alone was aloof, a frown set deep in her face, and distant. That’s what everyone else saw; reserved, quiet Ellie, who wanted to fade into the background to be left to her own devices. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The Ellie that Dina got to interact with was different. Nervous, red in the face, adorable Ellie, who was sarcastic and funny. She knew there was something under the surface of Ellie’s reservedness, but Dina was just content that Ellie had become a friend to her. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Today was like no other, they met up in their usual spot after the bell rang to signal the start of the weekend.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie offered a small smile when Dina approached her. She was leaning her torso against the lockers with hands in the pockets of her lightweight windbreaker jacket. She wore a dark t shirt underneath it, visible through the open zip of the jacket. Dina could just about make out a red logo at the left side of the jacket, but it was partially obstructed from where the open jacket flipped over it. She’d seen the logo before, she couldn’t remember the name but knew it was some kind of skateboarding brand. A lot of the stoners wore the same brand; but Ellie didn’t seem to fit the stoner type. She never looked chilled out enough to be a stoner. <br/><br/>Emily had been right - Ellie did kinda look like she had a stick up her ass all time; that was, until Dina was there, and she let lose - a little.<br/></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The auburn haired girl never looked relaxed, a frown set permanently on her face. Maybe Ollie was right? Maybe she did need glasses. Or she was just had a stick up her ass. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina shook her head in disbelief, “Why the fuck are you wearing a jacket on a day like this?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie flashed Dina a toothy grin and Dina felt her knees go a little weak. She hadn’t actually seen a smile like from Ellie and it was infectious. “It’s lightweight, dumbass. It doesn’t even have a lining on the inside. Gotta keep up my cool mysterious kid look haven’t I?” She replied, shrugging at the collar of the jacket.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina couldn’t help the smile that split her face, “True, but I don’t know if I wanna spend time with you if you’re sweating like an obese dude in McDonalds.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie crossed her arms, and Dina was very aware that she was hiding her left hand within the sleeve of her jacket, “I’m clean. Besides, you’d still skulk up to me everyday no matter how bad I smelt.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina was genuinely surprised at the air of confidence that was surrounding Ellie. She’d never seen her so laid back and confident in her words before. It was nice. She could still see the lines in her face where her permanent frown would usually reside, but right now there was no glower present on her freckled face.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Of course, she didn’t find Ellie’s good mood sexy or anything. Nope. No way. Not at all.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Her weak knees told her otherwise.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But Ellie was right; the dark haired girl found herself searching for Ellie everyday; before the start of classes and after the school day ended, ‘skulking up to her’, as Ellie had phrased it.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What are your plans for the weekend?” Dina blurted out, once again praying the hot weather would mask the redness creeping up in her cheeks. She’d never felt anxiousness like this; not with Jesse, not with anyone. She didn’t know why, but Ellie seemed to have some kind of unique hold on her.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">If anything, their roles seemed to have switched. Dina was nervous and blurting out her words as if she were vomiting, and Ellie was stood there looking all aloof and sexy, a grin gracing her face.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie shrugged, looking down at Dina’s sweaty face, “Not much. Might watch a movie. You?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“My parents are away for the weekend, wanna come over?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The nervous look of dread on Ellie’s face was unmissable, and Dina scolded herself for being so forward. Maybe saying ‘my parents aren’t home’ was a bit suggestive.</span>
</p><p class="p1"><em> <span class="s2">Bye bye confident Ellie, you will be missed. </span> </em> <span class="s1">Dina thought as she watched Ellie’s familiar awkwardness taking dominance over her confidence.</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina offered her an awkward smile, “I just figured since you’re a little shy around new people you could come over without having to chat to my parents.” Maybe she should have said that in the first place.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie’s tense body instantly began to relax, “Oh, right. Thanks. Yeah, that would be cool.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina released the breath she didn’t realise she was holding, “Cool. You can stay the night if you want. Maybe if you’re nice I’ll watch one of your dumb movies that you like.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A smile split Ellie’s face and Dina felt herself melt a bit.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’ll realise that they’re good movies, eventually.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina waved her hand dismissively, smirking as she did so, “Whatever you say. Gimme your phone so I can put my number in.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The shy, nervous Ellie was back in seconds and she fumbled to get her phone out of her pocket. She unlocked it and passed it to Dina silently.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina could feel Ellie’s eyes on her as she typed the number into her phone. She giggled to herself when she set up her contact name.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie accepted the phone back again and looked at it with a raised eyebrow, “‘The coolest girl in school’” Ellie said as she read the contact name, before looking back to Dina with mischief in her eyes, “That’s a bit of a stretch, isn’t it?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina smacked her arm with reasonable force, face split with laughter, “You know it’s true.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Absolutely not.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina giggled and found herself getting lost in Ellie’s eyes. They didn’t say anything for a few moments before Ellie looked away shyly, rolling both of her lips between her teeth to create a line.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Make sure you text me, so I have your number. I’ll see you over the weekend, El.” Dina turned on her heel and was half way down the corridor in seconds, leaving a smitten Ellie behind her, watching her. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">——————-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Joel was out working so Ellie arrived to an empty house.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She immediately flopped down on her bed, arms and legs outstretched like a starfish. Staring up at the ceiling, she felt her heart beating erratically against her chest.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina had invited her over for the weekend. She’d put her number in her phone.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Her stomach fluttered uncomfortably, but it wasn’t unpleasant.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She was embarrassingly excited to stay at Dina’s and spend some quality time together, just the two of them. But her excitement was budged by her anxiousness. Anxious of doing something dumb in front of her, or reading too deep into the things Dina says and does, and of course her mutilated hand.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie held her hand in front of her face, eyes scanning over the pinkish edges and white scarring.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina was nice, Dina was kind and generous and beautiful, she wouldn’t think it was gross? Would she?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie wanted to think that, at least. Dina had been a good friend to have for the past couple months, even if they only spoke for short periods of time each day. What Dina saw in her that made her want to be her friend, she didn’t know.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie wasn’t popular, wasn’t beautiful, didn’t really have any star qualities either. She’d hoped to fade into the background, into the sea of students and be left unseen, but Dina had noticed her.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She didn’t know how to feel about it yet.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She didn’t realise she was grinning until her cheeks started to ache.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She supposed she should message Dina.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hands shaking just a little, she retrieved her phone and held it over her head. Her thumbs were hovering over the keys, brain working double to try and figure out what to type.</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s2"><em>Hey, Dina, this is my number</em>. </span> <span class="s1">No, that sounded weird. She deleted it.</span></p><p class="p1"><em> <span class="s2">Hey, it’s Ellie. </span> </em> <span class="s1">She supposed that could work. Should she put a kiss at the end? It wasn’t really her thing but it was probably’s Dina’s thing. Actually, scratch that, a kiss was <em>way </em>too forward. </span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She shook her head, wishing the crippling anxiousness away, “Stop being dumb.” She scolded herself quietly, “It’s just Dina.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Just Dina. Beautiful Dina, smart Dina, funny Dina, one of the most popular and lusted after girls in the whole school.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fuck.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She deleted the message and considering sending a gif of Obi-Wan Kenobi from Star Wars saying his iconic one liner, ‘Hello there’.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Snickering to herself, Ellie typed it in and clicked on it, reminiscing about all the Star Wars prequel memes and how they made her laugh.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oh shit. She’d sent the gif. She didn’t mean to send the fucking gif. Dina didn’t even like Star Wars, she wouldn’t get the joke. She felt her face heating up with a blush of embarrassment.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A few agonising minutes later, her phone pinged. Ellie sat there for a moment, desperately trying to not reach over and read the message. She didn’t want to come off as eager or clingy.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She left it a few minutes before picking it up.</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s2"><em>General Kenobi</em>. </span> <span class="s1">The text read. A stupid grin split her face. How did Dina know about the meme? Had she seen the movies?</span></p><p class="p1"><em> <span class="s2">How did you know what to say back? I didn’t think you were into Sci-Fi? </span> </em> <span class="s1">She messaged back excitedly. She waited a few minutes after Dina’s reply chimed.</span></p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">I googled it. Figured it would be one your nerdy things. I don’t even know who these characters are.</span> </em>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">‘I can change that’ Ellie thought before shaking her head vigorously. That sounded </span> <span class="s2">way </span> <span class="s1">too forward. </span> <em> <span class="s2">So, when do you want me over?</span> </em></p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">How about tomorrow lunch time?</span> </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">Cool. Shoot my your address?</span> </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina replied with her address and an emoji with a wide toothy grin.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie heard the door open from downstairs and Joel’s call. Phone in her pocket, Ellie went downstairs to meet her adoptive father. “Hey, old man. Good day?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Joel huffed as he collapsed onto the barstool that was in front of the worktop in the kitchen. “Tough day. Buildin’ houses in this heat is exhausting.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie frowned and took a seat opposite him, “You’re from Texas, isn’t this mild compared to Texas?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s still damn hot out here. Kinda weird for an October day in Wyoming.” He said, almost breathlessly.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie rose from her seat and grabbed a water bottle from the fridge, “Here you go.” She chirped happily, sliding the bottle over to him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What’re you so bright eyed and bushy tailed about?” Joel had seemed to perk up a little, no longer grumpy and frowning. He was intrigued.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No reason.” She tried her hardest to stop the grin from appearing on her face, “Uh, was wondering if I could stop round a friends house tomorrow actually?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Joel raised a brow, intrigued. He knew Ellie had always had trouble making friends, and she hadn’t really gotten on with the foster kids either. To see her happy about a friend and going out warmed his heart. “Don’t see why not, kid.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Cool, thanks.” She smiled at him, nursing her own bottle of water.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What’s their name and where do they live? Guessing you’ll want a ride.” He offered kindly, but he wanted to find out more about this friend. He didn’t want Ellie hanging around with anyone who he didn’t approve of. Call him overprotective, but he loved Ellie like his own daughter, and she hadn’t had a good start in life. She deserved to have caring friends.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Uh, her names Dina. She texted me her address, it’s not far. ‘Bout ten minutes from the school, I think.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Joel didn’t miss the admiration in her eyes at mentioning the girls name. “What’s she like? She into those comics you like?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie scratched her nose to try and mask her smile, “Uh, no. She’s not really into comics or action movies. She’s cool though.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Maybe you could invite her round sometime. If she’s as nice as you’re sayin’ she is, it’ll be no trouble having her over.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie shrugged, “Sure, why not.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Joel considered asking if they had a thing going on. He could interpret some of Ellie’s facial expressions and knew she was excited about being friends with this girl. He couldn’t tell if it something more than that, not yet anyway.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Truthfully, it was just nice to see a smile on her face and brightness in her eyes. He didn’t want to make Ellie uncomfortable by asking if she liked this Dina girl.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">As far as he knew Ellie hadn’t had a girlfriend before, but he knew she’d had crushes before, which she’d mentioned to him a few months ago. Poor kid was always too damn shy to say anything. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m gonna go for a shower. Fancy going multiplayer on Need For Speed later?” She asked brightly. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It had been a long time since Ellie had offered to do something with him. He was always the one prompting her to do stuff together, like watching a movie or starting a new tv series. “I’d like that. Y’might have to remind me how to play, though. Been a while since I’ve touched a game.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sure. I’ll leave the shower on the cold setting for you, looks like you might need it.” She gestured to the sun burn on his face, “Maybe some sunscreen next time, huh?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Joel swatted her arm, “Just go get your damn shower, Ellie.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She gave him the finger as she left the table and disappeared upstairs. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey all, thanks to everyone who has left a comment and/or kudos, and thanks to all who had read so far. I really appreciate it, especially as this is my first work. I’ve had a lot of fun writing this and I hope you guys enjoy reading it. </p><p>In case anyone is wondering why chapter two is set a good month and half after chapter one, when I started writing this story it originally going to be snippets across the year, but I got too carried away and got deep into Ellie and Joel’s relationship and other things. Plus I didn’t want to you guys to just have to read about them chatting at the lockers all the time.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. First Impressions</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Joel meets Ellie for the first time; their first meeting is an odd one for sure, but there’s something about this kid that fills a void in his chest.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Joel heard the water running upstairs, signalling Ellie was in the shower.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Joel glanced over to the old PlayStation 1 that sat beside the television in the living room. He’d bought it when it first came out, in 1994, when Sarah had been six years old. On her 8th birthday he passed it down to her, along with all of his games that he’d exhausted over the years.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sarah was born in 1988, when Joel was barely 18. Him and Sarah’s mother had been dating since they were sixteen, and the pregnancy hadn’t been planned. Deciding to keep the baby was the best decision he ever made. Him and Nicola had decided to separate when Sarah was four years old. Joel couldn’t bear to be without Sarah, his love for his daughter was so strong that he couldn’t imagine living without her. Sarah would visit Nicola at weekends, a few hours drive away from their house in Texas.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Nicola revealed to Joel that she was moving across the county to the east of the United States to start a new job, Joel was furious; he didn’t want Sarah to grow up without seeing her mother. He was also terrified that Sarah would want to leave with her mother.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Thankfully, Sarah had decided to stay with him. Those years of just him and Sarah had been the best of his life. They flew over to visit Nicola every few months, but Sarah had always had a stronger bond with him than she’d ever had with her mother.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Joel sniffed as he swiped some dust off of the old, grey console. It was covered in scuffs, and the old game cases that were stacked beside it were cracked and scratched. He couldn’t bare to get rid of it, despite not having played it since she died. Sarah had loved that PlayStation as much as he had.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He remembered playing those old games with her, racing on crash bandicoot, spitting fire as Spyro the dragon, exploring tombs as Lara Croft. Whenever she got stuck on a level she’d make him get past the parts she couldn’t complete. He always kicked her butt on Crash Team Racing, but there were times he’d let her win.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He was glad that Ellie was into gaming. It reminded him of the countless hours Sarah would spend on the PS1, and the times they shared together. He didn’t really play much anymore, occasionally he played with Ellie, but he still had a job and bills to pay, he’d drifted away from playing video games. He liked it when Ellie bought the console downstairs so he could watch, and he loved to see the progression of gaming. The PS1 graphics looked awful compared to the beautiful and detailed games Ellie played.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sarah’s look of pure glee and happiness when he’d gifted her the console flashed into his mind. It made him happy, but his heart constricted at the bittersweet memory.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She’d died when she was 12, in 2000. She’d been in the wrong place and the wrong time.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There had been an accident on the highway, leaving Joel stuck in traffic, unable to collect his daughter from school. He’d called the school to inform them, and asked if they could tell Sarah she’d have to walk home. It wasn’t a far walk, twenty minutes at most. She’d done it countless times before.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She’d been hit by a drunk driver, just 150 yards from their home.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Joel arrived on their street just 30 minutes after it happened.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He remembered driving past the ambulance and spotting a glimpse of blonde hair sprawled out on the bloodied ground. After that, his whole world had come crashing down.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He’d blamed himself for a long time. If he’d left work a little earlier, maybe he would’ve been able to pick her up. If he hadn’t agreed to work his day off, Sarah would still be alive and well.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He’d struggled with the guilt for a long time. He knew, logically, that it wasn’t his fault and there was nothing he could do to prevent her early death. But the guilt was always in the back of his head, somewhere.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Until he met Ellie.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>————-</em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Joel wiped sweat from his brow as he loaded up the cement mixer. The sun was beating down on his back and burning his neck. His grey vest was soaked in sweat, sticking to him uncomfortably.</em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>He’d been hired to help build an extension at a large house. The homeowners had informed him that they were currently fostering many children and that there was a possibility some of them might try and talk to him.</em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>He’d been annoyed at the thought of irritating kids disturbing him whilst he was working. So far, on his second day of working there, he hadn’t been intruded upon, something he was grateful for. </em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>He still had a few hours before he was due to pack up and go home. His canteen had been empty for half an hour. He’d have to ask for a refill. Suddenly a voice sounded from above him. </em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>She was a teenager, maybe 13 or 14, hanging her head out of the window. He couldn’t make out her features much because of the beaming sun glaring directly into his eyes. </em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>“Fuck me you’re sweating like crazy. You want some water?” She yelled down to him.</em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>How old was this kid? Where were her manners? “I’m good.” He said curtly before moving to stop the cement mixer. </em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>“Here you go.” He heard her speak just moments before something hit him on the head, the shock knocking him off balance. He stumbled forward and ended up with entire arm in the cement mixer. </em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>He looked down to see to an unopened bottle of water lying in the grass next to him. Already feeling a lump throbbing on top of his head, he yanked his arm free, splashing large globs of cement all over his clothes. His arm was caked in it. </em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>“What the hell, kid?” He yelled back up at her, her snickering and laughter angering him even more. </em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Choking with laughter, the girl put her hands up innocently, “In my defence I wasn’t aiming for your head.” </em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Joel grunted and used an old sheet to wipe the slop from his arm. “You’re a little shit, you know that right?” He grumbled. </em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>“Yep.” Came her reply, “You want a towel?” </em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>“Not if you’re gonna throw it at my head again.” Came Joel’s quipped reply. </em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>The kid snickered again, “I said I was sorry man.” </em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>“No, you didn’t.”He opened the water bottle and drank greedily from it, some dripping through his beard.</em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>“You owe me for that bottle of water!” She pointed at him, “What’s your name?” </em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>“Joel. And I don’t owe you shit, kid.” The kid was annoying, but her attitude reminded him a bit of Sarah. </em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>She leant even further out of the window, any more and she’d be falling face first into the dirt, “It’s Ellie! And you’re a thieving motherfucker if you don’t give me something for that water bottle!” </em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>He chuckled and downed the rest of it, turning it upside down mockingly, “What’re you gonna do about it, kid?” </em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>“I’ll kick your ass, shithead.” </em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>The man who owned the house came out and looked up at Ellie hanging out the window, “Ellie, what have we said about swearing in this house?” </em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>She leaned forward even more, “Not to do it. But I’m hanging out the window, so if you wanna get technical, the words aren’t being spoken in the house.” </em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>The man sighed and ignored Ellie. He turned to Joel, “Has she been bothering you?” </em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Joel looked past Eugene and up to see the girl shaking her head, putting her hands together as if she was praying. She mouthed ‘Please say no’. </em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Joel looked back at Eugene, “Not at all. She gave me this water bottle, actually.” He presented the empty plastic container, “Mighty kind of her, actually. I’m sweatin’ like a pig in this heat.” He spared a glance at the girl again to see a toothy grin beaming on her face.</em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>He almost laughed when she held up two middle fingers, intended for Eugene, whose back was facing her. </em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Eugene let out a sigh of relief, “Good. She’s only been with us for four days and she’s driving me and Sally up the wall.” He turned to look at her.</em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Ellie snapped her hands back to her sides and looked off into the distance, whistling a tune, feigning innocence. </em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>“Ellie go back inside, let the man have some peace.” Eugene said calmly. </em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>The teen sighed dramatically, “Okay. It was nice to meet you, jackass.” </em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>They watched her disappear from the window. “She’s quite the handful, ain’t she?” Joel chuckled, wiping the sweat from his head with his forearm. </em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Eugene sighed, “She is. Can’t say I blame her, though. Been in foster care all of her life.” </em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Joel frowned, something within him stirred. Poor kid. “How long is she stayin’ here for?” </em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>The other man shrugged a little, “She’s gonna be here for at least a month I think. She’ll probably end up going back to home site where the other kids just wait to be adopted. Unfortunately not many folks are willing to adopt older kids, it’s always the younger ones who get picked and the older ones just keep growing, until they’re eighteen and on their own.” </em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Joel could tell the slightly overweight man was getting emotional, and he felt a little awkward. After all, feelings weren’t really his deal. </em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Eugene continued, sitting on top of a small wall in the garden, “That’s why Sally and I decided to become foster parents. Sally was adopted when she eight, which is quite old when you’re talking adoption. Like I said, the babies and toddlers go first. Sally inspired me with her story and we started to foster as soon as we could. We have our own biological children, but we want to give these kids somewhere pleasant to be whilst they’re with us. We just hope other foster homes are as loving as ours. The kids are always sad when they’re told they’re being moved on.” Eugene wiped a tear from his eye. </em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>“It’s mighty kind what you’re doing, Eugene.” Joel didn’t really know what to say, but he felt for the man, and for that kid. Ellie. </em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>“The ones like her have it tough.” He motioned you to the window, “I think she acts out so she’ll feel noticed. Must be hard feeling you’re not good enough to be adopted.” </em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>“She say that to you?” Joel said, his heart squeezing painfully, something he only felt when he thought about his daughter. </em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>“No, but that’s how a lot of those kids feel. Ellie’s a little ball of energy when she wants to be, but I know she spends a lot of time writing in a journal of some sorts. It’s something these kids are encouraged to do, helps them deal with their feelings and whatnot. She writes in it a lot, so I can only assume she feels a lot.” He’s tearing up again, but manages to snap himself out of it. </em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>“Enough of my crying,” The man stood, “You want a drink, Joel? Water or coffee? I’d offer you juice but the kids love it, best not make them angry.” He joked. Joel could tell he was trying to cheer himself up.</em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>“Coffee would be great, thank you.” Joel replied, giving one last glance up to the empty window before Eugene went back inside the start making it. </em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>“How do you take it?” Eugene shouted as he flicked on the kettle. </em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Joel was about to reply, cut off before he could begin his sentence. </em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>“Up the ass!” </em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>She was out the window again, practically swinging from the frame like a monkey. </em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Joel shook his head. This kid. </em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>“Ellie...” He heard Eugene’s low warning from the kitchen. </em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>He looked back up at the kid. She was glaring at him. </em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>“You still owe me for that drink, asshole.” She sneered playfully at him. </em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>“Alright,” he began, not bothering to hide the grin on his bearded face, “How about I bring you somethin’ tomorrow?” </em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>She mockingly considered his answer,placing her head in her hand and tapping her chin, “Hmm. Deal.” </em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Joel supposed he should get back to work, after all, he did still have a few hours to go and progress needed to be made. “I’ll see you tomorrow then, Ellie?”</em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>“See you tomorrow, you old geezer.” </em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">——————-</span>
</p>
<p class="p1"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Joel shook his head at the memory. She’d been such a brat back then.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But he was proud of the woman she’d become now. Sure she had her flaws, she could get angrier than a bull, and she could be painfully shy at times. She bottled up her feelings - but so had he, for a long time. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But even with those flaws, he didn’t love her any less. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He knew Ellie and Sarah would’ve loved each other. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Adopting Ellie had been one of the best things to happen to him since loosing his daughter. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">On that first day, the day he met Ellie, Eugene’s words stuck with him. Older kids, kids like Ellie, had such a small chance of finding family. They were tossed from house to house, never settling long enough to call the place a home. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sarah had left this earth too soon. She didn’t get to experience her first kiss, going to university, getting married or having children (if she had wanted to, of course). She’d missed so much of her life, and Joel couldn’t change that. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He could, however, change Ellie’s life, give her chances and opportunities that Sarah hadn’t been able to have. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">—————</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2"><em>The next day was as scorching as the previous, if not hotter. He wore another lightweight work vest with his work shorts, with enough pockets to hold many tools that he might need.</em> </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">About an hour in to his labour, Ellie appeared in the kitchen. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">It was weird seeing her whole body now, their previous conversation she’d been dangling out of a window. She was kind of scrawny and looked like she didn’t eat much. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2"><em>Now that there wasn’t sun glaring in his eyes, he could make out her freckled</em> <em>cheeks and dark auburn hair. </em></span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">She looked at him expectantly, “Well? What have you got for me, old man?” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">Joel stood up from his crouched position and walked over to her, bringing his tool box with him. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“<em>You got me a tool box? Wow. Just what I wanted!” She exclaimed sarcastically.</em></span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>“You have any idea how much I paid for these tools?” He grumbled, sifting through the screws and screwdrivers that were stored in there. </em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>“I don’t know. Probably more than the support money I get in an entire year.” She replied, leaning on a counter and watching him as he lay out tools on the ground. </em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">Joel’s heart squeezed at that. The kid was probably right. She didn’t seem upset by it, but he knew that people did that; used their own hardships as a joke, armour, in a way to help them cope better. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">“There we go,” he said as he reached the bottom of the tool box. He withdrew the old comic from the box, the first issue of Savage Starlight, and watched an excited Ellie jog up to him. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">“Awesome!” She outstretched it in her hands excitedly, “I’ve always wanted to read a space comic.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Joel’s heart warmed in the same way it did when he gave Sarah that PS1, all those years ago. The way Ellie’s forest eyes lit up was both heartwarming and gut wrenching. “How ‘bout this.” Joel threw all of the tools back into the box, missing the way Ellie flinched at the sudden noise. “You behave every day for Eugene and Sally, and I’ll bring you the next issue every day. How’s that sound?” </em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Joel didn’t miss the emotion in Ellie’s eyes. It was absolute disbelief and happiness, mixed into one, shining in her green irises. “You’d do that?” She asked, looking at him with hopeful eyes, swimming with emotions. </em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>“Sure. I hope you like it.” </em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>She looked back at the comic, then back at him, “Thank you, Joel. I-I never been given something like this.” </em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Joel smiled sadly at her, “Now go on an’ get outta here before Eugene sees you harassing me again.” </em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2"><em>She hesitated before running to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. He was still crouched on the ground but managed to regain his balance. He didn’t hug her back, as the moment her arms coiled around his neck, they were gone. It was a quick hug, like the ones Sarah would give him before rushing off to school</em>. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Ellie stood before him again, comic still clutched tightly in her hands, “Thank you, Joel.” She said quietly before taking off upstairs.</em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Joel just watched her go, a feeling settling in the void of his chest that had been empty since Sarah died. </em>
  </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>As always, thanks for reading. Sorry there is no Dina or present Ellie in this chapter.</p>
<p>I am aware there are some issues with the whole fostering/adoption situation, I’m fairly certain it doesn’t work exactly like that, but I seriously have no clue how it works in the USA compared to Europe. You can forgive me though, right?</p>
<p>Please let me know what you think so far, and where you think this story will go. I currently have 13 more chapters written up, but I’m not finished just yet. Thanks again, my friends!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Smoke</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Ellie and Joel talk about coffee. Ellie and Dina get personal with a weed. A singular weed. No other weeds.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Saturday rolled around quickly. Ellie had spent the Friday evening with Joel, racing each other on the newest Need for Speed game. They’d laughed hard when one of them ended up in a ditch, or when Ellie would try and push Joel’s race car off the tracks. Emphasis on try; Joel kicked her ass at these racing games, even though he’d ‘forgotten how to play’. Sure, dude. <br/></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They hadn’t laughed like that in a long time. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She knew she was to blame for that, she shut Joel out for a long time when she was constantly harassed at school. She’d always been an outcast amongst other kids, even in the foster homes, but her reservedness just got stronger when everyday at school was a struggle. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie was doing her best to wake up, eyes still stuck together from sleep. Her alarm was blaring, making her ears pound and her head throb. She’d purposely chosen the most annoying alarm tone available on her phone in hopes that it would wake her up quicker, but she always found herself getting pissed off at it, because it was that fucking annoying.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She groaned as she rolled over and grabbed the vibrating phone. Her blurry eyes could barely make out the off button, so she just tapped her thumb around until she managed to hit the snooze button.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She groaned sleepily again, pulling the covers over her head and closing her eyes. It was a Saturday, she could afford a lie in.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Wait...</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She shot up and leaped out of bed, her auburn hair falling out from the small bun she always kept it in. She was supposed to be staying at Dina’s tonight, and Dina had asked her to come around lunch time. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Glancing at her phone again, her eyes much more alert now, she sighed in relief when she saw it was only 9am. She still had a few hours to eat and have some breakfast.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She padded downstairs quietly, still in her sleep shirt and shorts, meeting Joel at the countertop. After slotting some bread in the toaster, Ellie flopped down in her usual seat, opposite her adoptive father.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sleep alright, kiddo?” He said from behind his mug. She could tell he was waiting for the contents in it to cool down, but was so eager to drink that he kept it as close to his face as possible.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah, actually.” She reached for the carton of juice that Joel had gotten out for her, “Still felt like shit when I woke up, though. Does any teenager actually wake up feeling refreshed and ready for the day?” It was more of a rhetorical question, one which Joel simply shook his head at.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You looking forward to your day?” He finally took a sip of coffee, Ellie watching his face to shift to one of pure ecstasy.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Watching you take your first sip of coffee is enough to ruin my day.” She mumbled, opening the cupboards to get out a plate for her toast, “Is coffee really that good? Don’t you get bored of drinking of it everyday?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Joel chuckled and set the mug down, “Every time I drink it, it’s like my first time tasting it. So yeah, it <em>is</em> </span>
  <span class="s1">that good.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Whatever,” she muttered as she spread some butter over the toast. “If someone offered you a million dollars, but it meant you could never drink coffee again, would you do it?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Don’t say stuff like that, Ellie. It’s offends me. I don’t wanna think about life without coffee.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re so weird...” The girl mumbled as she sat back on the barstool.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Joel laughed, “It helps me wake up. Why do you think I’m always in a good mood in the morning?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie scoffed at him, flicking the crust from her toast at him, “Good mood? You’re the grumpiest guy I’ve ever met. In all my time being tossed to different homes, I have <em>never</em></span>
  
  <span class="s1">met a guy that’s as grumpy as you.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Maybe I’m special then. You ain’t exactly the easiest person to deal with in the mornings, either.” He pinged the crust over the counter top, where it ended up in Ellie’s lap.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Maybe I take after you, <em>dad</em></span>
  <span class="s2">.” </span>
  <span class="s1">She emphasised the last word, trying not to snigger. She never called him dad, only when she was calling him out on bullshit and trying to mess with him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well, <em>daughter</em></span>
  <span class="s1">, maybe you should appreciate how loving I am in the mornings. Without coffee I’d be an asshole.” He looked down in admiration at his mug and smiled, smiled like he was looking at a new born child.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You already are an asshole.” Her retort was muffled by the toast in her mouth. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You know, if my memory serves me correctly, you tried to kill me with a bottle of water the first day I met you. That kinda makes you an asshole.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She scoffed again, accidentally sucking her mouthful of semi-chewed toast down her throat. Coughing madly, one hand up to her mouth and the other smacking the table, she searched in panic for something to wash it down with before she choked to death. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The juice carton was empty, and the closest thing was Joel’s coffee. She snatched it from his hand and used her more able hand to down the beverage, gulping as much of it down as she could to push the toast down. She slammed the drained mug on the countertop, eyes red. “Fuck me I thought I was dying.” She panted, getting up to swing open the fridge door to retrieve another carton of fruit juice.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“The coffee was good though, right?” Joel smirked at her with a raised eyebrow.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie watched him over the cartoon she was drinking out of. Joel usually scolded her for drinking straight from carton, but she knew he did the same thing with the milk, no matter how much he denied it. It was such a typical <em>dad </em>thing to do, drinking from the milk carton. She slammed the juice on the table top, still breathless from downing so much liquid. “It tasted like shit, Joel.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">————-</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They spent most of the car ride insulting each other, and joking around.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie felt kind of guilty, leaving him when they’d been having the best time they’d had in ages. <br/></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Since the incident Ellie had crawled back into her reserved shell, where she felt so much but said so little. But last night and this morning had been great, perhaps it was down the excitement of going over to Dina’s place. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Joel knew Ellie was looking forward to it, so he decided now was the time to ask the question that had plagued his mind all morning, “So... this Dina girl... is she?” He knew the question was intrusive enough, he didn’t want to make it worse by saying the G word. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie smacked his arm, “Fucks sake, Joel. No. She’s just a friend from school.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Alright, alright. Just thought I’d ask.” The thump to his arm kinda hurt, not that he would tell her that. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The pair soon reached Dina’s house. Ellie said her thanks and Joel reminded her to text him about what time to pick her up the next day. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie began to walk down the straight slab path that lead to Dina’s house. After a few steps, she turned around, “Please drive away now, Joel.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Why? Afraid I’m gonna embarrass you in front of your friend?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes. Exactly that.” Ellie said bluntly, glaring at him until he started up the truck. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“See you tomorrow, kiddo. Have fun.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She waited until he had driven out of her sight. Nerves creeped up her neck as she reached the door. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">It’s just Dina. Get your shit together. </span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She knocked on the door, heart pounding too much for her liking. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina was at the door a few moments later, face bright and eyes even brighter, “Hey, come in.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie obeyed and stepped inside. The house smelt good, like vanilla candles. Looking around, she spotted a Yankee candle on practically every flat surface. The tv stand, the small dressing table against the wall, two on the kitchen counters, even one on top of the fridge. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’ve got so many fucking candles.” She was mildly amazed but even more confused; why so many candles? Joel only had one, and he only bought it because he knew Esther liked the scent.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina threw her head back, laughter overcoming her for a few seconds, “My dad hates them, says they make him sneeze and give him headaches. I like to sneak the smaller ones in his briefcase or his coat pockets, it makes him so pissed.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well, aren’t you a rebel.” Ellie’s reply was teasing, mocking.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina crosses her arms, “I can be rebellious. Candles is just the tip of the iceberg, you just wait.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Wanna go steal a car or something? Or rob Walmart?” Ellie said jokingly.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina seemed to actually consider it for a moment, causing Ellie’s face to turn serious.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The shorter woman laughed and waved her hand, “I was kidding. But...” She moved into the living room and opened the drawer of the dressing table, “I was thinking we could maybe do this?” She held up a spliff, neatly rolled and twisted at the top.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie raised a brow, “Didn’t take you for the stoner type.” She said in a mock disapproving tone.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina rolled her eyes, but Ellie could notice a tiny smile forming across her lips, “Hardly a stoner. You don’t see me all red eyed and talking random shit at school, do you?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Maybe not red eyed, but you definitely talk a lot of shit.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina scowled at her, “Are you in or not?” She waved the blunt around.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fuck yeah, I’m in.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A short while later, they sat in the garden, sun beating down on them as they sat next to each other on some striped deck chairs. They’d been giggling at a squirrel that had ran across the garden five minutes ago. The pair were still laughing, thinking it was the funniest thing in the world, when it reality... it was just a fucking squirrel running across the garden. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay, okay,” Dina huffed, trying to catch her breath after the insane laughing fit, “Fuck. That was so funny. And I don’t even know why.” She burst out laughing again, hands clutching at her stomach.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina’s full belly laugh just set Ellie off again, and they continued creasing with laughter for another five minutes.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When they’d both recovered, Dina handed Ellie the half smoked blunt, still trying to catch her breath from her uncontrollable outburst, “God, my stomach hurts now.” She complained, wrapping her arms around her abdomen and rocking back and forth for a few seconds. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie took the spliff from her hand, having to lean over to get it, since she was using her hand that was furthest from Dina. She was high as a kite, but she’d been hiding her hand from others for a long time now, it was just instinct to use her right hand for everything now.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The auburn haired girl took a long drag, exhaling slowly. She hadn’t felt this chilled out in a long, long time. “Is this why you invited me over?” She let her head roll across her shoulders so she could look at Dina.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It was one of the reasons, yeah.” Dina replied as she reached for the roll up again.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What were the other reasons?” Ellie asked, sinking further into the deck chair as the smoke was exhaled slowly from her mouth with each word. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina was silent for a few moments. “Just be nice to spend the weekend with someone different. I love my friends but they wanna go out partying every week, sometimes I just wanna chill out, you know?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie nodded, taking the remainder of the weed when Dina offered it to her. It was almost gone, maybe two more drags left. “I feel you. Not really much of a party goer myself.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina snorted, like actually snorted, “You don’t have to tell me that. Can’t imagine you’d be that fun at parties.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well that’s just fucking rude.” Ellie put on her best intimidation voice, making eye contact with Dina again.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A short moment passed before they both burst out laughing again, tears streaming down both of their faces. Again... not even funny, but this weed was some good shit. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It took a while for them to calm down, but eventually the painful giggles seized and they could relax their aching sides again.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I have an idea. How abouts we play 20 questions?” Dina asked, scooting her deck chair around so she could face Ellie. Their knees were touching, Ellie looking up to Dina because she was slouched down so much, so much so that her chin was almost resting on her chest. She shuffled up in her seat, their knees no longer brushing against each other. If she wasn’t so high she’d have said no, hating talking about herself usually, but her clouded mind allowed her mouth to answer ‘yes’ before she could even think.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Alright, I’ll go first. What’s the most rebellious thing you’ve done?” Dina said, leaning forward eagerly.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie thought for a moment. She’d done a lot of dumbass things in her time at the main foster site, as well as in the temporary homes she was placed in. “Probably when I broke into my old neighbours house.” It was a slight, teeny tiny lie. Technically it wasn’t her neighbour because she’d been living in a temporary foster home, she wasn’t there long enough to be able to call it home, or call others her neighbours.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Why the fuck did you do that? Did you steal some shit?” Dina asked excitedly, almost bouncing in her seat like an excited child. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie laughed a little, “No I didn’t do it to steal. The guy who lived there would blast out some shitty country music <em>every </em></span>
  <span class="s1">morning, at like 7am. I couldn’t take it anymore so I broke into his house whilst he was out and smashed up his radio. And his vinyl player. And the CD player... and his Amazon Alexa.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina’s red eyes just stared at her, blinking slowly, “You must’ve really hated that song.” She said finally.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie nodded, “I really fucking hated it.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s your turn, dumbass.” Dina said quickly, nudging her foot into Ellie’s.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie looked at her confused, “My turn for what?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“To ask me a question, idiot!”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh, right.” She thought hard for a moment; she had so many questions that required answers, but even her hazy mind kept them locked away. </span>
  <em>
    <span class="s2">Are you straight? Do you like girls? Who’s your celebrity girl crush? Do you think I’m cool? </span>
  </em>
  <span class="s1">“Ummm... You ever done anything stronger than weed?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina shook her head, “No, I’ve been offered it at parties and stuff before, but I don’t wanna take the risk. Some of those drugs can be dangerous.” The shorter girl shuddered at the thought. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie nodded, happy with her answer. She was glad Dina had a good head on her shoulders.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Do you like anyone at school?” Dina’s question completely threw her off guard.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Uhhh,” she couldn’t focus on anything but how sweaty her palms had suddenly gotten, “No. Guess I’ve not been there long enough to get to know anyone properly, apart from you.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina made a face, “Okay. Good point.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie thought hard for the next question. Dina had suggested the game, so she was clearly happy with sharing her secrets, Ellie just had to ask the right questions. But how the fuck was she supposed to know what to ask? “Ever shoplifted?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina scoffed at her question, kicking her in the foot again, “Of course I have. Who hasn’t?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fair point. I used to steal from stores all the time. Luckily never got caught.” She remembered being the typical out-of-control foster kid, who acted rebellious to get someone to notice her and give her some attention for once. Though she never actually got caught or sussed out. She pushed the memories down and focussed on Dina’s face. Dina’s beautiful, gorgeous, perfect face... </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina seemed to have been thinking hard on the next question, weighing up whether she should ask it or not. “Have you always counted to eight, or did you use to be able to count to ten?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie looked at her in confusion for a moment, wondering if the weed was making her hear things or muddling up Dina’s words. She moved her arms off of the arm rests to reach for her drink, feeling the sleeve of her longsleeve T-shirtbrush against her concealed stumps.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2"><em>Oh</em>. </span>
  <span class="s1">It hit her like a tonne of bricks. Dina knew? How the fuck did she know? She never got her hand out, never used it for anything, relying solely on her more abled hand for everything.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I... Uh...” She didn’t know what to say, what to think. She thought she’d hidden it well enough, she thought she’d been subtle enough.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina’s hand on her knee wrenched her from her thoughts. “Hey. You don’t have to answer that if you don’t want to. I’m sorry for asking such an invasive question, it was stupid of me.” There was guilt painted all over her face. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie saw how upset the other girl had gotten, guilt surfacing in her chest as she looked away, ashamed.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie gritted her teeth, jaw clamped hard. She felt bad for making Dina feel bad. She knew she hadn’t done anything but she still couldn’t help but feel the guilt climbing her throat. “Ten.” She said quietly, watching nervously as Dina’s face raised up to meet hers. “I used to be able to count to ten.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fuck. She didn’t want to be thinking about this now. She was having such a great time with Dina, feeling so relaxed and at peace, but now the shame was consuming her, like it had when she’d first lost her fingers.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina considered her next words carefully, “You don’t have to be ashamed, Ellie.” She said softly, rubbing her hand over Ellie’s knee. “I’ve known for a while. I actually noticed in the first week of you starting at Jackson.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You did?” Ellie answered anxiously, clenching her maimed hand within the sleeve of her shirt to remind herself it was still hidden away from Dina’s view. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah.” Dina breathed out, her voice low and soothing, “I don’t think any less of you. You’re still my dorky friend.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie looked away, searching for anything but Dina to focus on. Her chest felt tight. She felt humiliated and she didn’t know why. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina spoke again, with that same low, soft voice, “Please don’t be embarrassed. I didn’t tell you until now because I didn’t want you to get upset, but I sort of felt like I was lying to you because I’ve known for months.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay,” Ellie breathed out shakily, feeling her chest loosen up and her heartbeat slowing down. “I’m sorry I didn’t mention it.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina scooted a little closer, their knees touching again, “Don’t be sorry. It’s your secret to share, it’s your choice whether you tell people or not.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie nodded, fighting within herself to figure out what to say. Dina gave her a moment to collect her thoughts, which she was grateful for. “Yeah. I-I, just didn’t know how you would react. It’s... you know, weird. Kinda gross, really.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina offered her a warm smile, a little sad, but Ellie didn’t see the sadness through her hazy mind, “It’s not gross. If I’d have thought that we wouldn’t be sitting here in my garden getting high.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I guess not.” Ellie sighed, meeting her eyes once more. Their faces were so close, inches away from one another, and Ellie felt the familiar crippling anxiety wash over her. She turned her head to the side, not trusting herself to not just grab the other girl and kiss her.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Her stomach growled loudly, breaking the weird tension that had surrounded them.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina laughed, leaning back into her chair, “Someone’s got the munchies. Luckily I came prepared with snacks.” She winked flirtatiously and was up on her feet, leaving a conflicted Ellie slumped in the deck chair. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hate this chapter, I don’t know why. Hope you guys like it though. Thanks again for everyone who has read, left a comment or kudos. It means a lot. </p><p>Update a little later than expected, sorry bout that! Promise you’ll have chapter 5 tomorrow.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. just two gal pals having a sleepover</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Ellie and Dina watch a movie. Dina strips and makes Ellie embarrassed. Dumbass lesbian.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hours later, the two girls sat on the couch, sipping one of Dina’s homemade smoothies. They’d come down from their high about a few hours previous.</span>
</p><p class="p1">Ellie wasn’t usually a fan of smoothies... but these were fucking good. Kudos to Dina, she knew how to make a mean smoothie. </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The pair were watching a horror movie from 2009, Orphan. <br/></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A movie about a crazy orphan kid who killed people, she guessed. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie had bit the inside of her cheeks when Dina had suggested they watch it. Of course, of course Dina would chose a movie about a kid in an orphanage.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Just fucking ironic really. The irony of the situation was actually funny.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Not far into the movie, Dina curled her legs underneath her, eyes on the screen that displayed the little orphan girl in the painting scene.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You think orphanages are really like that?” Dina asked, shovelling a handful of popcorn into her mouth.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie glanced over to her, the same nervousness creeping up on her again, but she was sure it was because of how sexy Dina looked even with her mouth rammed full with butter popcorn, “Uh, I don’t know. They changed the system in 50’s or 60’s, I think. Orphanages don’t actually exist anymore, as far as I’m aware. So this movie is kinda lying a bit.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Huh,” Dina said as she reached for bowl again, “I didn’t know that.” She was too invested in the movie to add a snarky comment about Ellie being smart or knowing a piece of history.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And that was that for the conversation, thankfully.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The movie finished some time later, their bowl of popcorn had been empty by the halfway point of the movie.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Gotta admit, the mom was kinda badass. When she kicked her in the face in that lake, damn. That was so badass.” Dina said as she stretched out, arms above her head and legs straight.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The auburn haired girl looked away for fear of being caught staring at Dina’s toned legs. Those Nike sports leggings should be illegal, no one should look that good in them. </span>
</p><p class="p2">But Dina did. In fact, she exceeded good; she looked fucking hot and it was distracting. </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“The kid was fucking creepy from the start. They could’ve named the movie something completely different and you’d still know that kid was evil.” Ellie replied, standing to join Dina whilst she continued to stretch her unused muscles. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I guess we should head to bed, I’m knackered.” Dina stifled a yawn, one hand coming up to rub her eyes. “You’re lucky I made it through the movie. I usually fall asleep half way in.” She laughed at her own ridiculousness.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A smile found its way to Ellie’s lips at the imaginary image of Dina falling asleep through the movie, her head falling onto Ellie’s shoulder.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Pull yourself together, Ellie. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Where am I even sleeping? No offence but your couch is super uncomfortable.” Ellie said as she grabbed the bag she’d left beside the door, which contained her toiletries and some clothes to change into. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We’re sharing my bed, obviously.” Came Dina’s completely nonchalant reply. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie looked at her dumbfounded, a blush creeping up her neck and into her cheeks, an odd sense of dread and excitement bubbling in her stomach. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina didn’t notice, too busy flicking off the TV and shutting off the lamp. “Uh, okay.” Came Ellie’s breathless reply. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina led her upstairs and into her room, pulling the door closed behind them. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie stood and admired the decor, noting how different it was to her own bedroom. The walls were a light cream colour, much closer to white than it was to cream. Her bed was against a wall, a small bedside cabinet beside it. There was a jewellery tray that had rings and other trinkets stacked onto it, a couple of them spilling over the side and resting on the cabinet. Dina had no posters, only photos of friends and family. There were Polaroid’s of her friends stuck all over the walls, while the framed photos were reserved for who she assumed was Dina’s family. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was so different to her room at home. Ellie’s walls were painted grey, with posters everywhere, a few of her drawings too. Joel had nailed her old guitar to the wall as a decoration, since she could no longer play it like she used to. She didn’t have many photos. She didn’t have any friends or family to capture those happy memories with, save for Joel, Tommy and Maria. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The only photo she had was of herself and Joel, not long after he’d officially adopted her. She also had a small strip of photographs of herself and her old friend, Riley, pulling dumb faces and acting like fools. She hadn’t seen Riley in a long time, since she’d been given an official, permanent home when they were 9. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was kind of gut wrenching to see Dina’s happy smile in those photos, surrounded by loved ones who’d always cared for her and would never stop. She hadn’t known what that felt like until Joel. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie was snapped from her daze when Dina started undressing right in front of her. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fucking hell, Dina,” Ellie desperately clasped a hand over her eyes and turned away, wanting to look </span>
  <span class="s2"><em>so</em> badly </span>
  <span class="s1">but knew it would be disrespectful and downright wrong to let her eyes wander on her friend. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What!” Dina exclaimed incredulously, as if Ellie had deeply offended the shorter woman, “We’re friends aren’t we?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Of course, but that doesn’t mean it’s mandatory for me to see your butt.” Ellie said desperately, pushing her hand into her face even more. <br/></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Seeing Dina’s butt did seem like an enjoyable pass time, though... </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <em>Fucking stop. That’s just wrong, Ellie. </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina chuckled a little, “You’re so cute when you get all nervous.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Thanks.” Ellie grumbled. Inside however, her heart pounded, her stomach churning in the best way possible.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay, you can look.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie cracked open her fingers, checking it was safe to look before removing her hand entirely.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina wore a simple tank shirt and </span>
  <span class="s2"><em>very</em> </span>
  <span class="s1">short sleep shorts, with tiny goats spotted around fabric.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie tried not to stare at her smooth legs, tried even harder not to look at her chest where Dina wasn’t wearing a bra. </span>
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Say something before she figures out you’re checking her out. Anything, fucking anything! </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Goats?” She said, though it came out as more of a strangled squeak. </span>
</p><p class="p2"><em>Fucking ‘goats’? Am I really that stupid?</em> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina looked confused for a moment before realising, “Oh!” She looked down at her shorts where Ellie was </span>
  <span class="s2">desperately </span>
  <span class="s1">trying to avoid looking. “Yeah, these are my sisters. She loves goats.” The shorter woman fiddled with a small strand that was sticking out of the fabric of the worn, slightly faded shorts. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Bit of an odd animal to love, though?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina breathed a laugh, “Why, what’s your favourite animal then?” Her arms crossed over her chest and Ellie had to battle within herself to not. fucking. look.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Dinosaurs.” Ellie replied, still keeping her longing eyes fixed on Dina’s face, not trusting herself to look anywhere else for fear that Dina would notice and be weirded out.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It wasn’t that she was ashamed of being gay. She really wasn’t; but the horrendous teasing and bullying she’d suffered in the past choked her up before she could even consider sharing personal things with others. Especially being gay.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She knew Dina was nice, knew she could be trusted, but it didn’t stop the fear that would undoubtably consume her body if she worked up the courage to tell her.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina breathed out another laugh, “Of course it’s dinosaurs, I don’t know why I expected any thing different.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie raised a brow, “What did you think it was?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina shrugged, moving over to her bedside cabinet to flick on the lamp, “I don’t know, I was gonna say frogs or something.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Frogs?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina pushed her shoulder, “Frogs are cool. My favourite animal is zebras.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Why zebras?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Why dinosaurs?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie clicked her tongue, “Okay, sorry my favourite animal is cooler than yours. I get you’re jealous and all, I mean... zebras kinda suck.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina shoved her again playfully, but with more force this time, still not enough to make the lighter-skinned girl stumble though. “Zebras are cool! They’re just like horses, but they live in Africa and have cool stripes. Besides, dinosaurs don’t even exist anymore, so you need to change your answer. You say zebras suck but all dinosaurs are fucking fossils now. So your favourite animal is actually a rock, or whatever.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie knew immediately what her answer would be, speaking the second Dina finished her sentence, “Giraffes.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie smiled at the memory of Joel taking her to the zoo after she’d settled into her new home. It had been about a week and a half since Joel had adopted her, and he’d surprised her by taking her to zoo. The first animal they’d seen as they walked through the gates were giraffes, tall and mighty, and she just remembered how her heart ached with so much happiness; she’d finally found someone who cared about her. Found someone to share these experiences with.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You gonna get changed or what?” Dina prompted, a smug smirk on her face that Ellie couldn’t interpret because her heart started thumping again.<br/></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She was doing to sharing a bed with Dina. Holy shit. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Don’t look.” Ellie’s voice came out a little weaker than normal, and she prayed to some god that she didn’t even believe in that Dina hadn’t noticed her pathetic squeak.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina sighed dramatically, clamping both hands over her eyes. “Better?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It took her longer than it should have to get ready, the thought of sharing a bed with Dina making her sweaty and nervous and her hands were shaking-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We haven’t got all night, you know.” Dina teased, peaking through her fingers to see Ellie’s back facing her as she slipped an oversized T-shirt over her head.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Shut up.” Ellie mumbled, kicking her bag under Dina’s bed.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina dropped her hands that had been clapped over her eyes, scanning her dark eyes over Ellie’s illuminated figure. The t shirt was about two sizes too big for her, and she wore some loose fitting black shorts with white drawstrings. Dina tried to ignore that the drawstrings were different lengths. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina didn’t bother saying anything when her eyes fell on Ellie’s hand that had been pushed into her pocket. She guessed it was force of habit, even though Ellie knew that Dina was aware and didn’t care that she only had 8 fingers.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Come on, then.” Dina jumped onto her bed and dove under the covers.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie stood for a moment, hesitant, nervous, pathetically excited. If Dina knew she was gay, would she be so willing to let her into her bed? </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Slowly, Ellie switched off the lamp and pulled back the sheets before climbing in, pulling them back over her and - using all of her bravery - turned to face Dina, who was trapped between Ellie’s body and the wall. Ellie made a conscious effort to leave a gap between them. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They looked at each other for a moment, Ellie wondering if she should say something. She could make out the other girl’s face, the moonlight cutting through the closed blinds and illuminating her face just enough for it to be visible.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She felt Dina’s arm rustling under the covers, and suddenly a soft hand had gently enclosed around her maimed one.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie wanted to wrench it back, pull it away and hide it from her, but after shakily meeting Dina’s warm, dark eyes, the panic subdued, as if a crashing wave had swiped it all away in one fell swoop. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina smiled softly and gently reached out to tuck some of Ellie’s hair behind her ear, the tender touch almost making her dizzy and a little lethargic.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina squeezed her hand ever so gently, like she was scared of hurting her.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The wounds had long since healed, but she got phantom pain from time-to-time, but the doctors said it was completely normal, and to only contact them should it get unbearable. The physio had helped her get better movement in her remaining fingers and hand, but she still struggled with it at times. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“This okay?” Dina asked quietly, shifting her body to get a little more comfortable. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie nodded silently, “Yeah.” She breathed, “It’s okay.” She knew it wasn’t a romantic gesture, but it still made her chest swell. It was comforting to know Dina accepted her and her flaws, still loved her as a friend. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They stared at each other for a while, not saying anything, just happy to be in each others presence. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie watched as Dina’s eyes slowly fluttered shut, sleep soon overtaking her. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie observed her for a short while, the moonlight causing Dina’s perfect face to almost glow. Ellie noticed a small scar at almost the centre of her forehead, visible only because of the white light. She’d had never noticed it otherwise. <br/><br/>It didn’t make her any less beautiful. <br/></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Green eyes lingered on the small amount of freckles that dusted the sleeping woman’s cheeks, the way her eyelashes fluttered as she slept peacefully.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie wanted so badly to reach out and brush her fingers over the sleeping woman’s face, but she knew she’d be overstepping a boundary, even though Dina didn’t seem to have many of those, if any at all. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She <em>had </em>just pulled her shirt off right in front of Ellie without warning, after all. And then just laughed it off like it was nothing. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sleep was pulling her down now, her eyes heavy and her breath deepening. She didn’t want to sleep yet, but the feeling of Dina breathing softly next to her was lulling her to sleep. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The last thing she felt before succumbing to sleep was Dina’s hand clasped lightly around hers. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>As always, thanks for reading. And thanks to all the kudos and comments. I appreciate every single one of them. </p><p>Also, please let me know; do you want more Joel/Ellie flashbacks? I have a couple already, but they are set a few months before Ellie starts at Jackson. Would you guys be interested in more younger Ellie and Joel? </p><p>And one last thing I forgot to point out; there will be no Farm Ellie hair in this story, EVER. Ellie looks too damn cute with her Jackson/Seattle hair, I couldn’t rob her of that.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. no apples in this house pls</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Some fun banter between Ellie and Dina, and Ellie kinda accidentally beats the shit out of someone. Oops. </p><p>TRIGGER WARNING <br/>Some mentions of blood, mild violence and homophobia, including slurs.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Joel was waiting in his truck at the end of Dina’s driveway, engine switched off and tapping his fingers to the beat of the song he was listening to. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The front door was open, and the girls were saying their goodbyes.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?” Ellie said as she turned to face Dina in the frame of the doorway.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Of course. It’s gonna be a warm one tomorrow. Don’t be dumb by wearing a jacket.” Dina snickered at her, before reaching up and wrapping her arms around Ellie’s shoulders, taking the taller girl off guard.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dumbfounded and surprised, it took Ellie a moment to realise what was happening before gently curling her arms around Dina’s waist.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Redness cropped up on her cheeks as Dina pulled away. “See you tomorrow, then.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah. Tomorrow.” Ellie whispered as she left the house, heading towards Joel’s truck.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She hopped in and offered a small wave to Dina who was already waving at her from the door.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Joel started to drive off, and after a short moment of silence, he spoke, “</span>
  <em>
    <span class="s2">Not </span>
  </em>
  <span class="s1">your girlfriend, huh?” He said teasingly. He’d seen their hug, how Dina pulled Ellie down to wrap her arms around her neck.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Joel,” Ellie whined, “She’s not. She’s just really touchy feely like that, she’s like it with everyone.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Whatever you say, kiddo.” He wasn’t convinced, it was evident in his voice. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m serious, Joel.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2"><em>Besides, she’s probably straight. Even if she wasn’t, why would she go for someone like me?</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay, okay, I believe you. You have a nice time?” He didn’t want to make her anymore uncomfortable, he’d had his fun teasing her. The bearded man was more than happy to ask about her evening, anyway. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah. It was cool. We watched a scary movie and chilled out. It was nice. We watched Orphan, ironically.” She said with an eye roll.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Huh, she scared that you’re gonna kill her in her sleep now?” He said jokingly, remembering the excitement and praise that movie gained when it was released 11 years ago. 2009 seemed like a long time ago. He’d watched it with Tommy and Maria when the movie had been released on DVD. It wasn’t really his type of movie but he couldn’t deny it was a good movie. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“She doesn’t know I’m adopted, Joel.” Ellie replied a little more harshly than she intended, but she knew Joel wouldn’t take any offence.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh. Why didn’t you tell her? She seems nice from what you’ve told me about her, don’t think it’s somethin’ that would matter to her.” He’d been pushing Ellie to open up to others for a long time, he guessed he should just be grateful and happy that she’d found a good friend. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie sighed, “It’s not just something that comes up in conversation, Joel.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Alrigh’. Sorry for prodding you.” He apologised, knowing Ellie wasn’t mad or upset, but he knew that even after their four years together, she could still be stubborn when it came to talking about things, especially things that made her feel negatively or things that not many others would understand. He guessed it came down to her mostly confiding in her journals, rather than other humans. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s okay,” She sighed, “Sorry for getting defensive.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He smiled, so proud of how far she’d come since adopting her four years prior. He knew she was trying, and it was tough for her; he couldn’t be mad about that. “It’s okay, kid. Say, you fancy going to the new Texas Steakhouse tonight? I’ve heard the food as just as good as it is in actual Texas. You still haven’t had a real taste of Texas yet, and that upsets me.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sounds like fun.” She said genuinely, the pounding of her heart finally coming to steady beat. Some quality time with Joel would help take ease her fluttering stomach that had been present since Dina had wrapped her hand around hers the previous night. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She knew she liked Dina - <em>really </em>liked her. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And that scared her.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">———-———</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The next month passed much the same, December fast approaching. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina and Ellie would have their usual hangouts at the lockers and Ellie would stay over at Dina’s house most weekends. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie felt herself falling for her more and more with each passing day, but she was too chicken to do anything about it. Joel had been teasing her for a while now, convinced that she had a huge crush on Dina, but she wasn’t gonna tell him that anytime soon. No way. Not when she was certain that Dina saw them as just friends, nothing more, nothing less. Just friends. Gal pals maybe? </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie had gotten much more comfortable around Dina, not stumbling over her words as much as used to. But the more she realised she liked Dina, the more she felt guilty. Dina was her best friend, it wasn’t right for her to be thinking the thoughts she had about Dina. Thoughts of kissing her, holding her hand; and some other thoughts that were more </span>
  <span class="s2"><em>private</em>. </span>
  <span class="s1">That made her feel incredibly guilty, but she couldn’t help where her mind wandered to sometimes. <br/></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Why did Dina have to be so beautiful? Her thick, dark hair, her deep brown eyes that looked like dark honey if the sun hit them right, her amazing, soft physique... She was fucking gorgeous, how could Ellie <em>not </em>think about her in inappropriate ways? <br/></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She knew it wasn’t right. But Ellie couldn’t see the other woman as anything but stunning. <br/></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Even her personality was beautiful, so carefree and loving, with a great sense of humour and endless amounts of confidence that left Ellie weak from fascination and admiration. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina had started this weird thing where everyday she’d ask Ellie to tell her the story of how she fucked up her hand. Ellie lied every time, changing her answers daily to mess playfully with Dina. She knew Dina well enough by now to know that she wasn’t trying to be intrusive; she knew that Dina wanted to know, but her daily question was never much of annoyance to Ellie. It was actually kinda fun making up random stories to explain her injury. <br/></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It also made her feel less self conscious about it. She could actually joke about it, and it resulted in making Dina laugh.<br/></span>
</p><p class="p1">And Dina’s laugh was her favourite sound. </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">———-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Are you gonna tell me how you lost your fingers yet?” Dina put on her best puppy dog eyes, smiling sweetly at Ellie who was slumped beside her on the park bench.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Please? I’ll go see that new Batman movie with you - and pay! - if you tell me!” She bribed, waving a small handful of cash in her hand.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie sighed, “Spider-Man, dumbass. Batman isn’t even Marvel.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina rolled her eyes, “You say that as if I understand what you’re talking about. How about... I buy you that comic you’ve been talking about? Dead Man Walking?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s The Walking Dead!”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">———————</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Will you tell me now, El?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Please, Ellie. I just bought you tacos.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ugh. You never stop.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You love it.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Do I? Do I really?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">——————</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So...” Dina propped her legs over Ellie’s thighs, “I watched Iron-Man with you.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie eyed her suspiciously as the credits rolled in the background, “Yes.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’ve gotta tell me now.” A grin was plastered on her face, no need for puppy dog eyes this time, she was sure of it. She just sat through this shit movie and acted interested the whole time, even engaged in conversation about it. Ellie must be bursting to tell her now. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie sighed dramatically, resting her arm over the back of the sofa, “You really wanna know?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina nodded quickly, so much her signature bun almost came loose.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“A dinosaur bit them off.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fuck you!”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">————</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You gonna tell me now, or what?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes. I trapped them in a car door.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Really?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">————-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So... your fingers?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I was cutting onions and started to cry so bad I couldn’t see what I was doing, so I sliced my fingers off.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You can’t even cook!”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">————</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fingers? Lose them, how did you? Hurt, did it?” Maybe a Yoda impression would work. Ellie liked Star Wars. This would work.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Lightsaber sliced them off.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ugh!”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">————</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“</span>
  <span class="s1">You gonna tell me or what?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“My uncle ran over them with his truck.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No he fucking didn’t!”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">————</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ellie please. I’m begging you. I could die tomorrow and not know </span>
  <span class="s2">anything </span>
  <span class="s1">about the fate of your missing appendages. Would you want me to die thinking you’re a lying bitch?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I told you. It was a Great White Shark at the aquarium. Bastard almost took my leg, too.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Aquariums don’t even have great whites!”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">————-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina just looked at her expectingly.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie knew the look and cut her off before the other girl could even say anything. “Someone ran over them when I was ice skating.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina sneered at her.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">————</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She hadn’t given up on asking. She understood Ellie may not be comfortable sharing what happened to her. She was reserved, and Dina respected that as best she could. She knew there was probably a deeper story to the scars on her face and her mutilated hand, but she didn’t want to push it forcefully at all. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She just liked hearing what bizarre answer Ellie stirred up every time. It was always funny, and it made Dina giggle, and she knew Ellie liked to mess with her with her bullshit stories. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was just a regular Wednesday. She had math first period - which fucking sucked, but at least Ellie was in that class with her, making it just about bearable. She’d learnt that Ellie was no good at math either, but she knew how to write a good story or poem. For a woman of little words in conversation, the other girl sure knew how to get them down onto paper.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She met Ellie at the usual spot at the lockers. The auburn haired girl had one hand in the pocket of her grey sweats, the other scrolling through her phone.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Check you out, wearing sweats to school. Never thought I’d see the day.” Dina swooped in beside her, eyes tracing over Ellie’s tattoo for the thousandth time. Sweats looked good on Ellie, they were grey and were rolled up at the ankle, and looked very comfortable. Maybe Dina could convince her to let her borrow them.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie scoffed, shoving Dina lightly, “Sometimes comfort is the way to go. Also, it’s cold as fuck outside, I didn’t quite fancy peeling my jeans off of me after school.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Maybe you should try doing something different with your hair too, go all out, show me a different side to mysterious Ellie.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She rolled her eyes, “Not happening. You’ll stop talking to me once you find out my secrets, you’ll have nothing to poke and prod me about.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s not true, dumbass.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Most days went like this. She met Ellie at the lockers, tried to flirt with her - a reoccurring event, every fucking day actually - and Ellie was clueless.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Absolutely fucking clueless. She was hilariously dumb and oblivious. Watching a blush creep onto Ellie’s face at every compliment she gave her made her stomach flutter.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She was in deep.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The day seemed to drag, she felt like she’d done an entire day already by the time the bell for lunch rang.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina was the slightest bit concerned when Ellie was no where to be seen. Dina knew Ellie wouldn’t just ditch her like that; she decided to wait a few minutes.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After three pathetically agonising minutes Ellie rounded the corner, hands in the pockets of her hoodie. It was Dina’s favourite thing to see her wear, secretly wishing Ellie would offer her to borrow it one day.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The taller girl came to a stop in front of Dina, “I swear Mr Birch hates me.” She muttered angrily.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina laughed, “Doesn’t he hate everyone?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was true. How he got a degree to teach, Dina would never know. He was the most moody person she’d ever had the displeasure of meeting. He was the type of guy to not let kids go to the bathroom during class because ‘you had time on your break for bathroom business’. She hated that guy. Everyone hated that guy. Dina was not the slightest bit surprised to see he had no wedding band on his finger; a woman would have to be extremely dedicated and patient to ever marry that man. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie squinted her eyes at her, “He looks at me weird. Like, not in a </span>
  <span class="s2">weird </span>
  <span class="s1">way, not in like kiddy fiddling way, but like a death stare. Like he wants to see me flattened out on the highway.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina giggled at her before linking her arm through Ellie’s, leading them to the lunch hall. She didn’t miss the adorable nervous look that took over Ellie’s features when she linked their arms.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They made it to the lunch hall soon after, Dina telling Ellie to reserve a table for them whilst she grabbed them some food. She knew Ellie didn’t really eat a lot, so she just settled for an apple and a bottle of water for her. Dina, not fancying the slop that was considered ‘lunch’, opted for a small container with an assortment of cubed fruits and a smoothie.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Their table was situated a couple of metres from where the typical popular, loud boys were. All shouting over each other and throwing jokes, their unique version of banter. Half of them wore the Jackson sports teams merchandise, making them a sea of blue and white jackets and t shirts. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina could tell Ellie didn’t like the loudness that came from them. She’d learnt through observation that loud noises didn’t sit well with the other girl.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She was back at the table in no time and handed Ellie the apple.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I hate apples.” Ellie grumbled, turning it in her hand and glaring at it.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina rolled her eyes, “Do you ever eat? I don’t think I’ve actually seen you eat. Apart from when we get stoned at my house, and the memories are always kinda hazy.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Of course I eat!” She snatched the water from Dina’s hands, borderline aggressive in the way she twisted off the cap and downed half of the 500ml bottle.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“But... what?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Toast.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Just... toast?” Dina eyed her as leant back in her seat.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“And protein bars.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I guess you’ve gotta get your energy from somewhere.” Dina snaked her hand over the table and snatched the apple. No point letting it go to waste. “But seriously, who doesn’t like apples?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Me. Obviously.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina raised a brow, “My, you are grouchy today. Grouchier than usual.” A teasing smirk found its way onto her face. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie mimicked the dark haired girls eyebrow cock, thought a little more moody than Dina’s, but it soon changed to one of discomfort and slight annoyance when the boys started shouting about something or other.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I hate boys.” Dina said with a sigh, glancing over her shoulder to see one of them throwing a pear at one of the others, “I’m happy Jesse wasn’t friends with people like that. He’s kinda like you, prefers the quiet.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina didn’t notice Ellie shift uncomfortably at the mention of her ex, too occupied with unscrewing the cap of her smoothie.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey look, it’s the faggot and his </span>
  <span class="s2"><em>girlfriend</em>!” </span>
  <span class="s1">A deep, masculine voice sounded from their adjacent table. “Hey, which one of you is the top? I’m really curious. Does it work with two bottoms?” The question was followed by the booming laughter of the entire table.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina turned her head and saw the owner of the voice, Dylan, pointing at two boys holding hands. She could see the discomfort on the couple’s faces, their eyes downcast, probably too scared to say anything back to the group of lads who were laughing at them. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey asshole!” She piped up, swinging her whole body around in her seat to glare at the disruptive group, “Don’t say shit like that. It’s fucking mean.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The other boys made an obnoxious, synchronised </span>
  <em>
    <span class="s2">oooooooooooo </span>
  </em>
  <span class="s1">sound at Dina’s challenging exclamation.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dylan sneered at her, frowning harshly as if she had deeply offended his mother. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You one of them too, Dina? Didn’t think you were some disgusting dyke.” Dylan spat with malice, causing his friends to snicker, all looking at Dina and Ellie through their laughter.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina didn’t really know what happened next. She heard a chair scraping the floor, and before she knew what was happening Ellie had Dylan pinned to the table and was beating the shit out of his face, hard, swift punches landing to the boys head.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina hurried over to them, her food left forgotten on the table in her panic. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie was striking him with her dominant hand, whilst her scarred hand gripped his shirt so tightly it could tear. She lifted his upper body so his face was closer to hers, barely inches away, “What the fuck did you say you asshole? You wanna watch your fucking mouth.” Ellie sneered maliciously before she delivered one last blow to his cheek, knocking his head sideways, blood spurting from his nose, speckles of crimson marking the table he was lay on.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina just stood and watched the whole thing, unsure of what to do. She just watched Ellie beat the shit out of a guy. Shy, quiet, reserved Ellie, pouncing on a guy twice her size and knocking the living daylight out of him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ellie?” She asked quietly, not out of fear, but unsure of where to tread. She’d never seen this side of Ellie before and it had taken her by surprise, startling her almost. She tried to be cautious.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie must’ve seen the horrified and shocked look in her eyes because the auburn haired girl was out of the cafeteria before Dina could blink.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Your friend’s a fucking psycho!” Logan yelled at her, pulling Dylan up and holding a tissue under his gushing nose. His eye was starting to swell up already, as well as his left cheek.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina almost grimaced at the blood, but her anger and shock allowed her to ignore the blood, “He was asking for it. You keep bullying people like that and one day someone will snap.” She said harshly, gathering her things before leaving to find Ellie. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I had a lot of fun writing about Dina asking about Ellie’s fingers. </p><p>Hope you guys enjoyed, and as always, thank you so much for your support. I am overwhelmed by the attention this story has gained, so thank you! </p><p>I’m kinda new to writing, but if any of you have any kind of prompts or whatever, don’t hesitate to ask! If I’m interested in taking the prompt I will try my best to write it up (after this story is complete).</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. The Incident</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dina finds out more about Ellie’s violent past, and offers a shoulder to cry on. Joel is a good dad. </p><p>Trigger Warning<br/>Mentions of homophobic slurs and blood.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina didn’t really know where Ellie would’ve gone, but her best bet was somewhere quiet, like the secluded benches that were tucked away behind the art department. It was possible she would’ve just left the school entirely, but she left without her backpack - which Dina had slung over one shoulder - so it seemed more likely she would have stayed on campus somewhere. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She decided to make the benches her first stop, and sure enough, there was Ellie, her back facing Dina, hunched over at the old, rotting wooden table as if she was reading a book.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ellie?” She asked cautiously, voice gentle, not wanting to startle her.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She watched Ellie visibly sigh, deep and painful. It took a few moments before she responded, still unmoving, still facing away. “I’m sorry you had to see that.” Her voice was quiet, fragile, like she was scared of breaking at any moment. It was laced with guilt and regret. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina could sense the shame in her voice and her heart twisted. She slowly approached the other girl and took the seat next to her, soft eyes glancing over bloodied and swollen knuckles.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie was running her fingertips over the stumps of her lost fingers, eyes downcast and hurt, deep in her thoughts.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey it’s okay,” Dina pried gently, lifting her hand to brush Ellie’s shoulder. Dina’s heart sank a little when Ellie leant away from her comforting touch. Dina’s fingers had barely even brushed the material of her hoodie. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s not.” The auburn haired girl began dejectedly, “I lost control and beat the shit out of him. I could’ve stopped after one punch... but I didn’t.” Her left hand clenched and outstretched, and Dina realised this was the first time she’d seen the mutilated hand up close. She’d seen glimpses of them a few times before and had felt them when she held Ellie’s hand that time at her house, but she’d never seen them this close.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The stumps were red with scarring, slightly wrinkled at the ends, as if she’d left her hand in water for too long. She could tell the wound was fairly new, maybe a year or two old at the most. The cut off points weren’t straight, slightly slanted and uneven, suggesting that Ellie’s fingers weren’t removed surgically. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina shifted her eyes to Ellie’s downcast face, who’s green eyes hadn’t left her shaking hands, “He was being a dick. Don’t beat yourself up over it. Sure, maybe you went a little overboard but you were defending those two guys... and me.” Her voice was low, trying to keep a soothing tone, to offer comfort and understanding. Ellie was clearly distraught and it didn’t sit with Dina, it was incredibly upsetting to see her best friend like this. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Another deep sigh from Ellie, “I still shouldn’t have attacked him like that. But I couldn’t stand him saying those things, those boys did nothing wrong and yet those dicks still verbally attacked them. And for what? Because they were holding hands? Because they’re together?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina stayed silent, sensing Ellie had more to say. The other girls eyes still didn’t look to meet her own though, her pained gaze remained locked onto her bloody hands and mutilated stumps. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“At my old school, people said things like that to me. They got a kick out of tormenting me, they loved the reaction. Because I didn’t just sit around and take it, I fought back just as vicious. A day didn’t go by without someone calling me a name or leaving nasty notes in my locker. One day I just snapped, I couldn’t take the torment anymore.” Ellie’s face twisted then, and Dina could tell the hurt and anger wasn’t directed at anyone but herself, “The worst of them was Abby. She took every chance she got to berate me, about anything and everything. How I looked, what I liked... who I-“ There was a short pause, “She would use anything as ammunition. When I couldn’t take anymore I punched her and we got into a pretty bad fight.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina tentatively placed a hand on Ellie’s back, offering comfort and support, urging her to carry on. Dina assumed the taller girl needed to let it out, needed to get it out of her system before she could stop her tears and calm her mind. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie’s face scrunched up again, contorted with pain, “She fucked me up pretty bad, we’d broken each other’s noses. I managed to get on top of her. I was fuelled with rage and hurt, I had my hands round her throat.” Ellie’s palms opened up and she looked at them in disgust. “She was struggling to get me off of her, but after every swat my hands were back around her neck. She was getting desperate, and I wasn’t letting up. She punched me in the chest and the next thing I know... my fingers are gone. She was so desperate, so scared for her life that she bit my fingers off.” There were tears in her eyes, self-hatred so evident on her twisted face and choked voice. “If... if she hadn’t of done that, I don’t think I would’ve stopped.” A sob choked her throat then. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina felt her chest tighten and her heart squeeze painfully, “Oh, Ellie...”. She knew there was a story to Ellie’s mutilated hand, but she’d always thought it had been part of an accident or a birth defect that had lead to future amputation. She’d never even considered it to be a humans doing.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie shook her head, face contorted with pain and hurt and anger, “You shouldn’t feel sympathy for me, Dina. What I did was fucking wrong, to Abby and to Dylan. I just lose myself when I get angry and it, it fucking </span>
  <span class="s2">scares </span>
  <span class="s1">me that I can’t control it.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina takes a gamble and rests her head on Ellie’s shoulder, her arm slipping around her waist in a small effort to comfort her, “I don’t see you any different, you know?” She said gently, rubbing Ellie’s side, “Those kids shouldn’t have tormented you. You guilt yourself into thinking you’re some kind of monster because you physically hurt someone, but they’re just as bad for teasing you and hurting you when you didn’t do anything wrong. You snapped when it got too much. You can’t burden yourself with all the guilt when they put you down like that. Pain does things to people.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie’s forest eyes finally shifted sideways, gazing down at the beautiful girl on her shoulder, “I... I wasn’t trying to kill her. I hated her but I didn’t want her dead. I just lost it. I still hear her gasping for breath when I try to sleep at night, like my hands are locked around her throat all over again.” She glanced down at her open palms again, her thumb brushing over the scarring. “I’m scared that I’ll snap and take it out on someone I love.” She whimpered in a small voice.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina clenched her eyes and let the tears fall. She reached out her arm and wrapped it around Ellie’s front, engulfing her in a hug as her tears dripped onto Ellie’s shoulder. “You’re still my best friend, Ellie. I still love you. Everyone has flaws, and you can work towards bettering yourself. You’ve been a great friend to me... I know you’d never hurt me.” The statement was of full confidence, she knew Ellie would never harm her.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You don’t know that.” She replied quietly, her own tears dripping onto the ground below her.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I do.” Dina’s words were firm and certain, “You have the people that love you, and that’s all that matters.” She squeezed Ellie just a little tighter. “I did some things I’m not proud of when my sister was murdered.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie turned her head to look down at her, sympathy in her forest eyes, unpleasant surprise settling in her mind. “I’m sorry.” She muttered, slowly moving her hand to rest it on Dina’s that were clasped around her middle.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s okay.” Dina sniffed, her nose running from the tears that had escaped her eyes, “I had my family and my friends to help me through it. You have me and your dad.” She nuzzled her shoulder affectionately. “I’m here if you wanna talk, always.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie anxiously rested her head on top of Dina’s, careful to be slow should Dina want to pull away. She didn’t. “Thank you.” Ellie whispered, taking in Dina’s calming scent and focusing on the other girls breathing in an effort to try and calm her own.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You don’t need to thank me, you dummy.” Dina squeezed Ellie’s middle tighter, splaying out her fingers, feeling the ridges of Ellie’s rib cage through her hoodie.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I do.” The auburn haired girl replied softly, her hand still resting over Dina’s. “You’re being kind to me. I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve </span>
  <span class="s2"><em>you</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Don’t say that. I can’t be mad at you when you stuck up for those two boys, when you stuck up for </span>
  <span class="s2">me.</span>
  <span class="s1">” She said assuringly, rubbing her cheek against a clothed shoulder.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m sorry for making you cry.” Ellie said dejectedly, feeling the slight dampness on her shoulder from Dina’s tears.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The dark haired girl shook her head slightly into Ellie’s shoulder, “Don’t apologise for that either. You’re my friend, El, if you’re upset, I’m upset too.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Thank you for being my friend, Dina.” Ellie said gently, sincerity dripping off her tongue as she spoke the words. “It... you’re important to me.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina smiled sadly, lifting her head from Ellie’s shoulder so she could look into Elie’s eyes, “You’re important to me, too.” Dina retracted one of her arms from Ellie’s waist and lifted it to her face, where she brushed her thumb over a freckled cheek, wiping away a tear track. “Don’t ever think otherwise, okay?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie nodded, leaning into Dina’s palm, “Okay.”</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">——————</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie had been suspended for an entire week for battering Dylan. Of course, Dylan had played the victim, failing to mention his harsh words and ideals, which what actually led to the harsh beating. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie had sat defensively in the chair, arms crossed over her chest, hands tucked into sleeves as the principal lay into her, claiming his disappointment at her actions.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She hadn’t really bothered to explain what really happened, she knew the sports jock would gain all sympathy and it would be his word over hers. From her experience, schools never really did anything about bullying; of course, there was an ‘anti-bullying policy’ but it was bullshit. They were always bullshit. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie wasn’t really used to people listening to her, either. Growing up in foster care had been hard and she’d just learnt to keep her feelings inside, knowing no one really cared enough to hear them. Until she met Joel, who did care, but she still stuttered and struggled whenever her and Joel talked about things.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Her journal was where she let out most of her feelings. It had been the most reliable thing in her entire life for many years. It was just an object, sure, it couldn’t listen or offer her advice, but it was a way to vent her feelings and relieve herself a little. Sometimes, when she was younger, before Joel, it felt like her only friend. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The ride back with Joel was mostly silent, until they were five minutes away from their house. She had her head propped into her hand, elbow on the side of the truck door, a frown set deep in her face. She knew Joel wasn’t best pleased with her, and she couldn’t blame him. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So why did you beat the shit out of him?” Joel said finally, his eyes focussed on the road.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There was a small lingering silence, Ellie battling the defensive urge to shrug, curl into herself, dismiss the situation. But she knew she had to work on talking out her feelings, despite how much she hated the vulnerability that choked her throat. She hated being vulnerable, hated it more than most things. “He was being a dick to these boys. Calling them faggots and taking the piss out of them. Dina defended them, and the group just called her equally nasty names. I lost it.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Joel hummed deeply, pulling to stop at a traffic light that shone red. “Sounds like he deserved it.” He grumbled, pulling off again when the light switched green, “I ain’t pleased, Ellie. But I’m sure as hell not disappointed. You stuck up for those kids and your friend. Just wish you’d rely on your fists a little less.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie sighed, clenching her less dominant hand within the sleeve of her hoodie, reminding herself of that awful day. “I know. I’m sorry, Joel. I should’ve thought about it first. I should’ve thought about what happened last time.” She trailed off, memories of Abby’s fearful eyes and red face, the agony in her hand when her fingers were severed from her.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She shook her head before the blood came into her mind. There had been so much blood spilled on that day, from both girls. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Joel patted her thigh affectionately, offering a sense of security that she still wasn’t used to; she didn’t know if she’d ever get used to it. “That’s behind us now, you hear?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie nodded silently, eternally grateful for Joel’s understanding words and reassurance. “Thank you, Joel. For everything. I know I’ve been a bit of handful since you adopted me. I want to be better for you. Maybe you won’t be so grey, then.” She tried a little joke to lighten the atmosphere a bit.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I started growing grey as soon as you moved in, kiddo. For a quiet kid you sure have a lot of energy.” He grumbled before looking over to her with a teasing grin on his face.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I don’t get why everyone says I’m quiet, you used to always tell me to slow down when I’m talking to you.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Joel made a face, considering his next words. “You tend to get stuck in your head a bit.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie ignored him and turned to look at the passing houses and trees, listening to the slight rumble of their truck.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So...” Joel began, and Ellie could almost guess what was coming next, “Dina...” He trailed off, not wanting to embarrass Ellie with the terrifying G word.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie scoffed, “Fucks sake, Joel. She’s my friend. I’ve told you this shit before.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Alright alright,” he held up one hand defensively, “Was just askin’.” He waited a moment before turning to her, “Fancy inviting her round for dinner one night?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie side glanced at him, eyes narrow, “Didn’t you say I was grounded?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Joel shrugged, “Yeah, I did, but then I remembered that you don’t actually go anywhere in your spare time anyway. Apart from the comic book store and to your friends house. I know that you’re sorry, and your reasons for doing what you did. No point in grounding you, really.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie smirked, grateful of Joel’s unique way in brightening her mood, “Whatever you say, old man.” </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Ooooo Ellie you poor thing. Good thing your girlfriend - friend, sorry, your friend - is there to comfort you. </p><p>As always, thanks for reading! I’ve read all your comments, and I’m going to try and add in some more Joel and Ellie flashbacks, since you guys want them so badly! I have the next 10 or so chapters written up, so I will just need to fiddle around with them. </p><p>So, where do you think this story is going next? Would love to hear your thoughts. And thanks again for all your support.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. fcuk broccoli</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dina comes round for dinner. It’s pie and veggies, if you’re wondering. No broccoli allowed.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina was overly ecstatic about meeting Ellie’s dad for the first time. Ellie had called her dumb, saying that it was just her dad, not the Queen of England. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie sat on her bed nervously, her phone laying in front of her, anxiously waiting for Dina’s reply. Dina always made her nervous and sheepish. The auburn haired girl was slowly getting better at dealing with the ball of energy that was Dina, but her lingering touches set her skin alight, and each compliment left her cheeks tinged with red. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2"><em>Is your dad as dorky as you?</em> </span>
  <span class="s1">Dina’s message pinged her phone. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2"><em>He likes country music. I’ll leave it at that</em>. </span>
  <span class="s1">Ellie sent her reply after a couple of minutes, not wanting Dina to think she was, you know, just </span>
  <em>
    <span class="s2">waiting </span>
  </em>
  <span class="s1">for her reply and reading it the second it arrived. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">Ah. Could be worse. Could be into all these weird space comics. </span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Fuck you. You don’t know what you’re missing. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>My life has been a solid 9/10 so far, I don’t think your nerdy comics will change that. In fact, reading them would no doubt drag it down to a 7/10. I’ll be there in 5, btw. Is your dad hot? </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie grimaced in pure disgust, </span>
  <span class="s2">
    <em>There’s something seriously wrong with you, Dina. He’s my fucking dad. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It always felt weird calling Joel dad. Sure, he technically was, but calling him dad never appealed to her and they both preferred using his first name. Ellie knew she should probably tell Dina that he wasn’t actually her real dad, but she guessed it didn’t matter. She didn’t really like talking about being a system kid, who was pushed around different families so many times, none of them ever feeling any connection to her and leaving her crushed every time. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">At thirteen, she was convinced she was just unlovable. Too brash, too impulsive. She was convinced she’d be tossed around until she hit eighteen and she was on her own for good. She’d had to accept that her life path was set out for her, but it didn’t make it less painful. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It all changed when she met Joel, and suddenly things seemed a little brighter. It had been hard, and strange and foreign, but Joel taking her in had been the best thing that had ever happened to her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Well, if he’s your dad, he must be hot. Genes and all. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie face flushed, heart jumping manically in her chest. What did that mean? Did Dina think she was hot? A stupid grin split her face and she lay back on her bed. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Her phone chimed again, </span>
  <span class="s2">
    <em>I’ll be two minutes. Come meet me? </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Sure. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She passed Joel, who was sat on the couch with a steaming mug of coffee, using the remote to scroll through Netflix. “You ever watch that Black is the New Orange?” He asked as Ellie was slipping on her shoes. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s orange is the new black, idiot. And yes. It’s good. Not sure if it’s your thing, though.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Joel set the remote down and cradled his mug with two hands, “Why not? Prison stuff is entertaining.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie laughed under her breath, “It’s full of gay women in a prison who fuck each other over, and fuck each other.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh.” He paused before a slight smirk graced his wrinkling face, “So </span>
  <span class="s2"><em>thats</em> </span>
  <span class="s1">why you like it.” It wasn’t a question, it was a statement. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie ignored him, shrugging on her favourite lightweight windbreaker, “I’m meeting Dina. Please don’t be weird around her.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Joel chuckled and sipped loudly, obnoxiously from his mug, “No promises, kiddo.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She swung the door open with a strangled noise, ignoring Joel’s laughter from the living room. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina’s ride had just pulled up in front of their drive and Ellie walked over to meet them. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She bent down awkwardly and waved shyly at who she assumed was Dina’s mother. They looked alike, same hair colour and gorgeous murky eyes. Dina’s mother said something to Dina before she got out of the car. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Thanks, mom. See you whenever.” Dina said, waving as she drove away.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina happily linked her arm in Ellie’s as they walked back to the house. “How have you been? School sucks without you.” She pouted as shoved her hip into Ellie’s. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Doesn’t school always suck?” Ellie grumbled, opening the front door to her house, stepping aside to let Dina pass first. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Joel was still where she’d left him, but he’d stood up to greet Dina.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hi Dina, I’m Joel. Nice to meet you.” His voice was deep and gruff, it surprised Dina. She expected Ellie’s dad to look kinda badass but not </span>
  <span class="s2">this </span>
  <span class="s1">badass. She also found it very strange that he had thick Texan accent, whereas Ellie sounded like she was from Massachusetts or some surrounding state. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Nice to meet you too. Ellie talks about you a lot, nice to put a face to the name.” Dina said politely, offering him a smile.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He returned it with a smirk and glanced over to Ellie, “Oh does she now?”<br/><br/></span>
</p><p class="p2">Dina swore the deepness of just voice shook the floor beneath her feet. </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie scoffed and put a hand on Dina’s back, urging her to the stairs. “We’re going, Joel.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When they were half way up the stairs Joel called out from living room, “Ya’ll like homemade steak pie and veggies?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina answered a quick ‘yes, sounds lovely thank you’, whilst Ellie shouted, “No broccoli for me, Joel! And don’t try to hide it in the pie!” <br/><br/></span>
</p><p class="p1">“What’s so bad about broccoli? It’s good for you.” Dina quipped as Ellie shoved her lightly up the final step. </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie ushered Dina into her room, but purposely left the door ajar because that was Joel’s only rule when she had people over. It was a new rule, one that he’d only created yesterday. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She guessed she understood his reasons. He wouldn’t need to worry if she had a boy over, but knowing Joel, he would still worry anyway. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina flopped onto Ellie’s bed, rotating her head to observe her surroundings, “Your room is so much shittier than mine.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie stood in front of her, arms crossed disapprovingly, “Not all of us have big families and tons of friends to decorate the walls with, Dina.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina sat up, unfazed by Ellie’s comment, “Why isn’t the picture of us we took last week on your wall? That upsets me. All you have are posters of weird space people with oddly exaggerated features.” Dark eyes squinted at the decorative posters that littered every wall. It was difficult to make out what colour the wall was painted because of the vast amount of artwork and posters. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie laughed, short and breathy, “I use it as a bookmark.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well that’s just disrespectful to our friendship. I have that picture of us on my wall, right above my head, so you can watch over my whilst I sleep.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie slumped onto the bed beside the other girl, fingers pinching the bridge of her nose, “And you call me weird.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina stood and studied the posters in Ellie’s cluttered room, her eyes finally settling on the framed photo of her and Joel, the one that they took together not long after he’d officially taken her in. “I find it weird you call your dad by his first name, you got some bad blood or something?” Dina joked, smiling down at the photo. Ellie looked more easy going in the photo, but she guessed she could’ve just been posing. Her signature deep set frown was nonexistent on the photo. “You were a cute kid, actually.” She added, smiling at the younger Ellie. The younger Ellie had longer hair, scraped back into a ponytail, and much softer features. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie scratched the back of her neck nervously as she sat up, perched on the edge of the bed. She guessed now was the time she revealed that she was a foster kid. It was less scary than she’d imagined it be, having warmed up to Dina and building some trust with her. “Uh, Joel... He’s not my biological dad.” She tried her best not to stutter, but her voice came out lower and quieter than she’d planned it to. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Huh,” Dina placed the photo back down, adjusting it so it was mirroring the same angle as before. “Guess that explains the accent. He your step-dad?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Uhmmm, no. He adopted me when I was fourteen. That picture... We took it a week after he signed the papers. It was my first day officially living with him. My first day of being his legal kid.” Her words flowed better as the fond memory crossed her mind, her anxiousness slipping away. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina sat beside her again, their legs touching in a way that used to make Ellie flush with anxiety; now, it just sent small shocks up her limbs. “I’m sorry if that came off like I was pushing. I had no idea you were adopted.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie nudged Dina’s leg affectionately, not wanting her to feel like she’d done something wrong, “It’s cool, honestly. It’s not that I didn’t want to tell you, it’s just not something that comes up in conversation much is it?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I guess not. You do always call him your dad, though, whenever you mention him to me.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie shrugged, “Guess it’s just easier calling him that sometimes. I’m lucky to have him.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina smiled and leant her head on Ellie’s shoulder, “Maybe he’s lucky to have you. He must’ve really liked you to permanently adopt you.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie chuckled at the memory of their first meeting, and the days that followed, where she’d wake up early just so she could talk to him whilst he built the extension. “We didn’t start off great. First time I met him I threw a bottle of water at his head and he fell into a cement mixer.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina lifted her head off of Ellie’s shoulder, looking at her with disbelieving eyes, “No you did not!” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie held up her hands, implying innocence and adding truth to her words. She didn’t bother hiding her hand around Dina anymore, she’d already seen it close, it didn’t really matter anymore. “No, really. Ask him if you want. I’m telling the truth.” She couldn’t help the small laughs that broke up her words; all she could see was a slightly younger Joel tumbling into the cement mixer as the bottle rebounded off of his head. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina eyed her suspiciously, raising a brow, “So you gave him a concussion, is that why he decided to adopt you? Because you messed up his brain?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No, asshole! That’s just mean. He was a construction worker, building an extension on the foster home I living in at the time. He looked thirsty so I threw the bottle at him through the window, but I accidentally hit his head, which made him lose balance and fall into the mixer.” She chuckled lightly at the memory, before continuing, feeling like she owed Dina the story after avoiding the topic for so long, “I said he was a thief if he didn’t give me anything back for the water I’d so kindly gifted him. The next day he bought an old comic round, something I’d never ever seen or heard of before. He said if I behaved for the family that I was living with at the time, he’d bring me the next issue. I was still a little shit but it didn’t stop him from bringing the next comic everyday.” She smiled happily at the memories, love and appreciation exploding in her chest, the same way it had when Joel had revealed to her that she was going to be his daughter. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s so sweet.” Dina hummed adoringly, grinning madly at the sight of Ellie’s infectious smile, “Think you got lucky, he’s looks scary but he actually seems really sweet.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah,” Ellie sighed happily, leaning back on her elbows. “He’s really grumpy, but he can be a sweetheart when he feels like it.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina flopped down beside her, her eyes flicking over Ellie in admiration, “He is kinda hot though.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie scrunched her face in disgust, “He’s my fucking dad, you freak.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina laughed but ignored her comment, once again observing Ellie’s room. There were shelves of old comics lined neatly against each other in order of issue date, a large cabinet that had a television and a gaming console resting upon it. There were old boxes labelled with ‘comics’, about three of them. Almost the complete opposite to her own room at home. She spotted a pristine guitar that had been fastened to the wall. “Can you play?” The shorter girl motioned to the instrument. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie held up her maimed hand, “Not anymore.” She sighed, and Dina could tell it was sad for her to not be able to do something she loved anymore. Seeing Ellie’s eyes linger on the instrument made her heart ache a little. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Could always restring it right? And learn to play left handed.” The dark haired girl said positively, hoping to push some encouragement on the taller girl. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie shrugged, “I guess. Take a lot of work though.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina nudged her arm playfully, missing the smile that had been on her face just minutes ago, “I wanna hear you play me a song, one day.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie side-eyed her, a small smirk gracing her face, “What do I get in return?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina hummed, bringing her hand up to chin to exaggerate her words, “Hmm, I’m not sure yet. But I promise it’ll be worth it, whatever I come up with.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie sat up, “Alright then, deal. Just to let you know, there’s a spin-off of Savage Starlight coming out later this year so </span>
  <span class="s2">that </span>
  <span class="s1">could be my reward. Or Soldiers of Space, that comes out in a few months.” She smiled cheekily at Dina, not knowing how her grin had melted Dina’s heart into a gooey puddle. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Alright, we’ll see. But you’re getting zilch until you play me an entire song.” Dina said authoritatively. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina suddenly jumped, practically throwing herself up off Ellie’s bed when a deep, pained shout echoed from downstairs. “Holy shit, what the fuck was that?” Dina asked breathlessly, a hand on her chest. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie waved dismissively, chest shaking with laughter, “Dinners probably ready. That’ll be Joel burning his hand on the oven. Again.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina followed Ellie down the stairs and into the kitchen. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You good, Joel?” Ellie asked as she sat in her usual place at the countertop. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Joel looked at her sheepishly from his place at the sink, running cold water over his hand, “Just fine.” He said through gritted teeth. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You scared the shit out of Dina with your bitchass scream.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Joel let his eyes fall on Dina, still speaking with clenched teeth, “Sorry ‘bout that, but Ellie should’ve warned you.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He does this every time he cooks something homemade.” Ellie muttered under her breath as she handed Dina a glass of water. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina allowed herself to laugh, “Maybe you should invest in some oven gloves?” She suggested jokingly. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Joel finally switched off the tap and took his seat opposite the girls, his fingers glowing red. “We had some. Why don’t you ask Ellie what happened to them?” He said whilst picking up his cutlery. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Joel, it’s not my fault you left the oven gloves on top of the stove.” Ellie retorted back. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“But it’s your fault for not moving them when you switched the gas on.” He pointed his knife at her accusingly. “Now dig in, kids. I made this steak pie with love. Don’t want it going cold.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina laughed as she cut into the pie, “So she set fire to them? Just a typical Ellie thing to do, isn’t it?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sure is.” Joel replied after swallowing a vegetable, “She ever tell you about the time she smashed our kitchen window?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina laughed and shot Ellie a look, “No, she never mentioned that.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Alright, Joel. You wanna play that game? Remember when you knocked my TV over and smashed it?” Ellie said with a mouthful of food, pointing her fork accusingly at him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That was accident.” He said directly to Dina, “Goddamn kid had hidden my coffee beans behind her TV cabinet, and I had to move the cabinet to get them, she was basically asking for it to get smashed. She knows how I get when I don’t have my coffee.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina cut Ellie off before she had another chance challenge Joel again, “You big on coffee?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Joel nodded, “Sure am.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina ignored the retching noise Ellie made, “You ever tried Bozo’s Coffee Beans?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Joel looked at her, intrigued, placing his wrists on the table either side of the plate. Dina couldn’t help but notice his watch was broken. “You know what, I’ve heard of it. My brother has been pushing me to try it but I don’t know if I could ever replace my holy water.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie scoffed and rolled her eyes, her top lip curling in disgust. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“My dad actually works in their distro, on the business and trading side of things. We have tons of it at home. Want me to bring some over, as a thank you for dinner and letting me stay?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Joel smiled kindly at her, “Well that’s mighty kind of you, Dina. Only if it’s not trouble.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Of course not!” Dina replied, “If you’re into your coffee, you’ll love this, trust me.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You don’t even like coffee!” Ellie exclaimed as she shoved another fork full of food in her mouth, “It taste like shit and you know it.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Isn’t she charming.” Dina said sarcastically, smiling at Joel when he started to laugh. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ain’t she just. You think this is bad, you should’ve seen her when she was fourteen - feral child.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I should’ve known you’d side with him and turn against me, I feel so betrayed.” Ellie said accusingly, pushing her fork around the plate. She still couldn’t use knives very well, and she didn’t want to embarrass herself around Dina because she couldn’t cut up her own food, so she just shovelled in huge mouthfuls when Dina wasn’t looking. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Nice to talk to a girl with some manners, for once.” Joel grunted, followed by a few breathy chuckles, “This girl would never throw water bottles at unsuspecting people.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina burst out laughing suddenly, turning to Ellie who was slumped forward, “So that story </span>
  <span class="s2">is </span>
  <span class="s1">true?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“The time where she lobbed a full bottle from the second story window onto my head? Oh yeah, it’s true.” He shot Ellie a look through squinted eyes.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You fell into a cement mixer, right?” Dina tried hard, really fucking hard to keep her laughter contained. The image of a big, muscular and hairy man tumbling into a cement mixer was just too funny. It was downright hilarious when the image of a fourteen year old Ellie was thrown into the situation. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yep. The feral child never even apologised for it, neither.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie groaned. She should’ve known these two assholes would gang up on her. “Fuck you guys.”<br/><br/></span>
</p><p class="p1">Joel completely ignored her, “See what I mean about manners, Dina?” <br/><br/></p><p class="p1">Dina couldn’t help but chuckle, “I don’t think you can say ‘Ellie’ and ‘manners’ in the same sentence, unless it’s something negative.”</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">”You’re both assholes, I hope you know that.” The auburn haired girl grumbled as she aggressively stabbed her fork into a piece of broccoli and glared at it like it was the incarnate of the devil himself. ”Fuck you both, but <em>fuck </em>broccoli.” </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>As always, thanks for reading! If you were hoping for a kiss this chapter then... sorry. (I’m not actually sorry.) </p><p>(Also, broccoli doesn’t suck.)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. This is what you call a gee-tar</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>You guys asked for more Joel and Ellie flashbacks, so... <br/>Ellie is having a hard time accepting that Joel will forget about her when he finishes the work on the house. Joel has other plans.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">The extension was coming along well. It was tough work, being out in the blistering sun all day, but after a hard days work pride would fill his chest as he took in the progress he’d made. It never failed to please him to see what he had built from nothing, to see proof of what he was capable of. </span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">Another week and a half, two weeks maximum, everything would be complete and it would be time to move onto the next job. His diary was fully booked up for the next couple of months, so it was crucial he kept to his schedule and met his daily goals. Eugene was paying him good money, too; he needed to deliver what was expected of him.</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">He’d grown rather close to Ellie, after two weeks of non stop work. She would speak to him everyday, sometimes even sit on the bench in the garden and draw in her journal whilst Joel continued with his manual labour. It wasn’t often silence came between the two, they always found something to talk about; whether it be dumb movies, local news, animals or cars, they always found something to talk about. When there was silence between the two - mainly when Joel was using a loud power tool - it wasn’t uncomfortable or awkward, in fact, it felt natural. </span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">He couldn’t pinpoint what it was about this kid, but she’d managed to slowly push and poke her way through his heart. </span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">He looked forward to seeing her everyday, smiled at the thought of her face lighting up like a kid on Christmas as he handed her the next issue of Savage Starlight. </span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">Did he see her as some kind of charity case? Did he help her out and gift her with comics everyday to make himself feel better, to fulfil his ‘good deed of the day’? </span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">No. Those statements couldn’t be further from the truth.</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">Seeing her happy made him happy. </span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">Ellie had unknowingly chipped away at his walls, walls that had been tall and solid since the day Sarah died. The scrawny teenager had slipped her way in, and given him something he hadn’t felt in a long time. </span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">When he woke up every morning, it wasn’t just another day for him. It was something to look forward to, something to motivate him to drag himself out of bed for something other than work. </span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">And it scared him as much as it bought him joy. </span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">He knew he’d feel the same emptiness he’d lived with for years when it was time for him to move onto the next job. Perhaps it would feel even worse. </span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">But he knew he was making Ellie happy, knew he was giving </span>
    <span class="s2">her </span>
    <span class="s1">something to look forward to, something to be excited about everyday. Her life was bleak, and he knew he was making it brighter. </span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">Eugene and Sally had told him that Ellie had been much happier, more jovial since befriending him. </span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">It broke his heart to think about how upset she would be when it was time for him to move on. Would she feel as devastated as he inevitably would? </span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">The sound of a spoon hitting the tiled kitchen floor disrupted him from his thoughts. </span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">He looked towards the kitchen to see Ellie swiping the offending spoon from the floor. </span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">“You alright, kid?” Joel called out, just loud enough so she would hear him through the open patio door. </span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>She didn’t reply, but after tossing the spoon in the sink she made her way out to the garden, passing Joel and slumpin</em>g <em>into the bench that was situated a few feet from his work station. </em></span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">“Ellie?” The bearded man asked, setting down his hammer and moving to stand a could of metres from her. “You alright, kiddo?” </span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">The teenager just shrugged, her journal sat in her lap. “I guess.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Joel frowned unsurely, feeling unsettled that Ellie seemed upset, or at least not like her usual self. “You wanna talk about it?” He offered nonchalantly, attempting</em> t<em>o make the atmosphere somewhat relaxed, in hopes of allowing their usual conversation to flow. </em></span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>He didn’t really know where he was going with this, but something in his heart told him it wouldn’t be right to leave her whilst she was like this. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>She shrugged again. A pregnant pause followed, before she spoke in a fragile, unsure tone, “Your parents... were you close with them? When you were younger?” </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Joel sucked his teeth, uncertainty settling uncomfortably in his stomach, like a brick weighing down on his insides. “Not really close, we drifted apart when I was around twenty years old. My brother was closer to them then I was.” Another pause ensued as Joel considered his next words, unsure of whether to say anything at all, “Why do you ask?” He spotted her fiddling with the edge of her worn, tattered journal. She hadn’t raised her gaze to meet his eyes. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>“I dunno... I guess I’ve just been thinking a lot today.” She said faintly, fingers mindlessly picking at the edge of the book. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>“You wanna talk about it?” He offered again, “I ain’t a great talker, but I’m a good listener.” He could see her worrying her bottom lip between her teeth, and he knew she was struggling with her answer. He knew she wasn’t one to lay her feelings out on a table; like Eugene had told him, she expressed whatever she felt in that tattered journal of hers - and last time he checked, a journal was an object, it couldn’t talk or listen like an actual person could.</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>When she didn’t say anything, he took the seat next to her and leant back, stretching out his aching muscles. She needed a pick me up, something to warm her spirits again. “I bought the next two issues over, if you wanna grab ‘em.” </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Ellie’s eyes were on him then. She hadn’t turned her head, but he knew he’d sparked an interest. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>When she didn’t say anything again, he spoke instead, “Eugene mentioned you’ve been behaving pretty good, so I thought I’d treat you and bring over two issues.” </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>His stomach churned when her sullen manner returned. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>“Why are you doing this?” She asked quietly, hands fidgeting and rolling over each other unsurely, “Why... why are you being so kind to me all the time?” </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Joel’s eyebrows knitted together without much thought, confusion and worry sinking through his mind, “Ellie, what’s bought this on? You ain’t yourself today.”</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>The teenager shrugged sullenly, face expressionless, “Just... I find it hard to wrap my head around. You have no reason to be nice to me but you are. I’m just confused.” The confession was painful, Joel could see it in her face, as if she were battling within herself about what it all meant. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>“Can’t I just be a nice guy?” </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>“Sure. Yeah, of course but...” She trailed off as she shifted uncomfortably, like the words were hanging off her tongue but she couldn’t let them escape. “This is gonna sound weird.” She started, refusing to look him in the eye, “I was thinking, thinking about what my parents would be like, how my life would be if I wasn’t... like this.” </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>He knew what she meant. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>There was a pause as the young teenager gathered up her words, and Joel let her have the silence, not wanting to stop her from talking about the things that were clearly bothering her more than she let on. It was healthy to talk, let out the emotions that built up inside, so he wasn’t going to stop her. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Maybe he should follow his own advice. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>“You... You’ve acted more like a parent to me than anyone ever has. You ask me about my day, give me comics, tell me about your hobbies and movies and... you actually talk to me. You care, at least... I think you do. I’ve, uhm, never felt that before. The feeling of someone genuinely caring about what I have to say.” </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Joel didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t a talker, he was a listener, a damn good listener if he wasn’t required to say anything afterwards. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>She’d worn her heart on her sleeve, confessed personal feelings that he knew she wouldn’t have told anyone else. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>His silence set off a wave of anxiety within the girl. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Her hands gripped the hardback journal as she tore her face away from him, words spluttering out of her mouth in stammered stutters, “I, uhm, sorry. I knew it was weird. I’ll let you get back to, uhm, building.” </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>The auburn haired teen quickly moved to stand, the book clutched to her stomach tightly, as if it was the only thing preventing her from falling apart. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Joel’s hand found her wrist and grasped it lightly, “You don’t need to be ashamed, Ellie. That... that was nice to hear. I’m sorry you’re feeling down today.” </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>He could feel her relax a little, even if it was only a tiny fraction, “I know it was weird of me to say. I just... It’s a weird feeling for me.” She replied bashfully, her mouth twisted awkwardly. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>He released the soft grip from her slim wrist, “What is? Me talkin’ to you?” </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Ellie bit her lip, “Yeah, no...” She scrunched her eyes shut painfully, the beginning signs of tears irritating her eyes, “Someone caring. Like, really, caring.” </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>An invisible hand squeezed his heart, pain flooding through his chest. The fact that Ellie had grown up so deprived of love and stability sent a wave of fresh, unknown hurt coursing through his body. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>No child should grow up like that. No child should coast through their childhood not knowing what love felt like. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Sarah had died young, far too early; she’d missed out on her future, but she had grown surrounded by happiness, knowing she was loved. She’d had a family, broken as it was, but she had people around her who would always be there for her. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Ellie... Ellie had grown without a real home, no family, no stability or genuine care for her wellbeing... She’d spent her childhood without love. Sure, foster homes were designed for those exact purposes, but they never lasted. They weren’t permanent. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>The teenager was so deprived of everything a child needed to be happy that she felt conflicted when someone showed a genuine interest in her. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>It felt wrong for her to accept kindness for what it was, because she had never known genuine generosity. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>“Ellie...” He began finally, sighing softly as the pain that twisted his insides started to ease, “I know you don’t believe it, but you deserve more than what life was given you.” </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Glassy, tearful eyes met his. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>He offered her a watery smile, grateful that his full beard masked the emotion behind it, “You’re a good kid.” </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>She blinked a couple of times, the mass jumble of words tossing endlessly in her brain as she tried to figure out what to say. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>The bearded man could see the cogs turning, could see she was struggling, “I’m here if you need to talk again, alright?” She nodded. “Now why don’t you go an’ read your comics, cheer yourself up a little?” He mentioned to his bag, where the slim books could be seen poking out from the open zipper. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>“Okay.” She replied quietly, swiping her wrist over eyes quickly. “Can I sit out here with you?” </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>“Of course you can, kiddo. But only on one condition.” When her forest eyes met his, a warm, teasing smile worked its way into his face. “You let me pick the radio station this time. That punk rock stuff you like gives me a headache.” </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">———-</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>After Ellie’s confession, where she revealed that Joel was the closest thing she’d ever considered as a parental figure, Joel couldn’t control his mind. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>When he’d arrived home, he didn’t head straight for the shower like he usually did. He opened up his laptop, and started browsing the web, educating himself on what it means to be an adoptive parent, a foster parent, everything to do with foster homes; the history, the meaning, the reasons why, benefits and complications - everything. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>He felt such a connection with Ellie, as if an invisible magnetic force was pulling them together. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Life was a lottery ticket, and she hadn’t won shit. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Sure, everyone had complications and problems in their own lives, but many people had a family, had friends they could fall back on when they needed support. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Ellie had no one. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Could he be the one to light a spark in her eyes, to fill the void that had been empty for her entire life? </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>He weighed up the positives in his head; she was a teenager who attended school, she could get an education... It wasn’t going to be like raising a baby. Being fourteen, she already knew how to read and write, was old enough to cook for herself and be unsupervised whilst he went to work... </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>It could work. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>He could make her happy. He could give her a family and stability.</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Joel looked down at his tattered wrist watch, withered and frayed from so many years of use, the glass cracked and weak. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>If he fostered Ellie, took her in and cared for her like she was he was his own... </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Would that mean he was replacing Sarah? Was he ready to let go, to finally release his grip from her memory? </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>The pain in his heart gave him his answer. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>He would never be able to let his baby girl go. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Joel shut the laptop and pushed it underneath the coffee table. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">———-</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Things were back to normal between the two of them. She’d sit with him whilst he worked on the almost completed extension, Joel would tell her about all of his favourite 80’s movies and how cheesy they were. She’d tell him her favourite jokes and repeat them until he eventually laughed. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>He hadn’t touched the laptop since he’d shoved it under the coffee table. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>He felt like it was the right thing to do, he knew he couldn’t let his daughter go, but every minute he spent with the freckled teen, he could feel his walls slowly crumbling as she cemented herself within the cracks of his heart. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>The extension was almost finished. Five more days at most, and the job would be done, and he wouldn’t be needed here anymore. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>It meant he’d have to leave Ellie, and that scared him. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>He’d accepted that he cared for her, enjoyed his time that he spent with her. It would hurt to leave her behind, especially since she had unknowingly weaved her way through into his heart. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>It pained him even more to know how devastated she would be when he had to say goodbye. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Ellie had finally felt a tiny ounce of love - care? Interest? He didn’t know if love was the right word. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>She’d finally found something worth holding on to, something that made her happy, a light in the bleak dark, and it was going to be torn away from her. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Joel was painfully aware that Ellie knew the day was coming soon, too. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>She’d be there, waiting for him when he arrived in the morning, and she wouldn’t leave his side until he finished for the day. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>He could tell she was grasping on to the happiness and joy that Joel provided her. She was trying to make the most of a good thing before it was taken away from her. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>But when he left to go home at the end of each day, he could see the pain in her eyes. She knew her happiness was limited. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>He couldn’t do that to her. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he walked away. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>She was just a kid; innocent, full of life, she could have a future ahead of her if someone cared enough to acknowledge it. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>But there wasn’t anyone who cared enough. As much as it pained him to admit it, Ellie had been right - kids her age didn’t find family, they just withered away whilst they waited until they were old enough to leave the foster system and start living a mediocre life. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Her joyful expression crossed his mind, the light that sparked in her eyes whenever she saw him made him both tearful with admiration, but haunted by guilt. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>He’d given her a reason to smile. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>He couldn’t walk away from her. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>But he couldn’t let go of Sarah, either. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Joel stared down at the old watch, his most treasured possession, the perfect birthday gift. The last thing Sarah had given him before she died. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>By giving Ellie a chance at life, by giving her a family and love, it didn’t mean he would erasing Sarah. It didn’t mean he’d have to let her go. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>He opened up the laptop. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">———</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>“So you wanna get in touch with the services, huh?” Eugene mused as he prepared a coffee for the bearded man, who stood across the counter. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>“I do. I’ve done some research, an’ a hell of a lot of thinkin’.” Joel deliberated, “I had a kid, I know how to look after ‘em.”</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>“It’s a big commitment, Joel. I’m not trying to deter you or anything, but Ellie isn’t the easiest kid to look after. None of these kids are.” Eugene said warningly, but his tone soft, a hint of admiration in the undertones. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>“I know. But I think this is something I can’t walk away from.” The bearded man shuffled through the papers Eugene had provided him with, which contained extra information about fostering, as well as advice on legal issues. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>“She’s really wormed her way into your head, hasn’t she?” Eugene chuckled to himself as he stirred the coffee. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>“Guess you could say that.” Joel mumbled in return. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Silence fell upon the two men then, Eugene pottering around the kitchen and Joel thinking hard on the topic again, like he had been doing all night. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Eugene gently placed a steaming mug of coffee in front of him, “If you go through with this, she’ll be the happiest kid on earth, I’m certain of it.” </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>“I hope so.” Joel muttered to himself, just barely audible enough for the other man to hear.</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">————</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>She looked awfully down in the dumps today, and Joel knew why.</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>He was almost finished with the extension, just adding the finishing touches and minute details now.</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Tomorrow would be his final day. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>He’d already started up on the paperwork, started to make the necessary calls and organised some meetings. It wouldn’t be long before Ellie’s case worker informed the teenager what was going on. After that, Joel would have a meeting with her. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Ellie hadn’t greeted him at the door full of smiles and excitement, instead she pulled open the door with her shoulders slumped and gaze down the floor. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>“Hey kiddo.” He couldn’t help the excitement that leaked through his voice. “I bought your comic over, but I’ve got something else for you too.” It seemed to spark an interest, as the downcast teen lifted her head to meet his eyes. “Go an’ sit on the bench. Close your eyes, too.” </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>She raised a brow in curiosity, but obeyed him nonetheless, not even bothering to put shoes on. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Joel followed her out, the hidden object held behind his body secretively. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>He peaked around the corner to see if her eyes were still closed, and sure enough, they were. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>A grin splitting his face, he gently settled the guitar in her lap. It was one of his newer ones, he’d barely used it so far. There wasn’t one mark or scuff on the smooth wood, it was still in a pristine, mint condition. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Her forest eyes opened before she gasped in disbelief, her mouth hung open in shock. “Joel!”</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>“You told me it was your dream to learn how to play, so I decided to bring one of my guitars over so you can get a feel of what it’s like.” He beamed at her, her smile filling him with happiness. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>“This, this is so fucking cool!” The teenager examined the instrument in her hands, turning it over at different angles to observe every corner, every little detail. She was in awe. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>“Well, I don’t have time to teach you how to play it properly, but you can fiddle with it, see what you can cook up with it.” </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>“You’re the best, Joel.” She said excitedly, but her voice sounded a little clogged by the end of it. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Joel wasn’t sure if she was just overwhelmed, or if she was thinking about this being one of the last times she would ever see him. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>“I’ve got something else planned for you, kiddo. But I need your permission, first.” </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>She raised her eyes from the instrument in her hands up to him then, completely innocent, unknowing of what he had been up to for the past few days. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Joel moved to crouch down in front of her, ignoring his protesting knees and the aching pull of his back. “I’ve been thinking a lot, Ellie. And I think we can help each other out. I’ve been making a lot of calls and talking to lots of people...” He took a breath, “I was wondering if you wanted to come and live with me. Permanently.” </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>For a second he regretted the whole thing; Ellie didn’t even say anything, she just stared at him, as if she hadn’t heard a single word of what he’d just said. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>A glimmer of hope reflected her in eyes, soon followed by a giant grin as she the words took meaning. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>“For, for real?!” She was breathless, dumbfounded. She was full of shocked excitement, her face practically radiating with excitement. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>“Sure. I’ve already made some calls and started on the paperwork, but I wanted to ask you before you found out from anyone else. Didn’t wanna ruin the surprise.” </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Joel stumbled back slightly when Ellie threw herself into his arms, hugging him tight, like she was scared he would disappear if she didn’t hold tight enough. She was trembling, and he knew she was crying. “Thank you, Joel. I can’t believe it. Thank you.” She spoke through choked sobs, in which Joel just hugged her tighter, tears forming in his own eyes. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>And for the first time in years, he let them fall. </em>
  </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>You guys really wanted see more of Joel and Ellie at Eugene’s place. I was gonna have these flashbacks spread out more, but I have other flashbacks that are set a few years in the future, so I didn’t want them to all get jumbled up; so I decided to put them all into one chapter. </p><p>Hope you’ve all enjoyed. And as always, thanks so much for reading.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. no matter what</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Ellie has a little breakdown, Joel is there to remind her that he loves her.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Joel had liked Dina so much that he’d offered her a ride home. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The two girls had sat together in the back of his truck, bickering over movies and tv shows. It was strange how well they got on, and how fluid conversations came to them - they didn’t have much in common at all, and yet, everything was simple between them. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When they arrived at their destination Dina ran into her house quickly, before returning with two large containers of Bozo’s Coffee Beans. She passed them to Ellie, who’d moved into the front seat to sit with Joel. “Thanks again for having me, Joel, it was really nice to meet you. I hope you like the coffee.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Was a pleasure meetin’ you, Dina. Would be nice to have you over again sometime. I’ll get Ellie to let you know what I think of the coffee.” He smiled warmly at her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina smiled back at him before saying her goodbyes to the both of them, once again thanking Joel for housing her and feeding her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“She’s a nice girl.” Joel said as they drove back home, “Real polite too.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie sneered at him, “Is that a dig at me?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“‘Course not. I adopted you </span>
  <span class="s2">knowing </span>
  <span class="s1">you were a foul mouthed kid. Keeps me on my toes.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie sat in silence for a while, just enjoying watching the scenery go by and the wind that blew on her face from having the windows cracked open.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“She knows about your hand then, huh?” Joel said finally, after careful consideration of his words. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah.” She ran her thumb over the exposed scarring.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I noticed you weren’t tryin’ to hide it from her. I told you that good people wouldn’t see you any differently because of it. Sometimes you should listen to your old man’s advice.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie laughed humourlessly, “You aren’t funny, Joel. You aren’t some guru either.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Joel ignored her as he turned at a corner, “And she knows I ain’t your biological dad.” It wasn’t a question, more of statement. Dina knew about the water bottle fiasco so she must know that Joel was Ellie’s adoptive parent. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah.” Came another one worded answer. She wasn’t trying to be rude of dismissive, she’d just slept like shit because Dina kept pulling the covers off of her. Dina was also a kicker, which was infuriating but... admittedly cute. She didn’t sleep for more than 2 solid hours before being woken up by cold air or a heel to her shin. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“And does she see you any different?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What, of course not! You said it yourself that she was nice.” Ellie protested defensively. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Joel shook his head, “It ain’t a dig at Dina, Ellie. It’s a dig at you. I told you once you’d made some friends that they wouldn’t care about your hand, and that they wouldn’t care if you grew up in foster care. Friends like each other because of who they are, not because of where they came from, or what they’ve been through.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie considered his words for a moment. She hated to say it, but he was kind of right. Dina hadn’t cared about her horrific injury or how she’d gotten it, and she hadn’t cared that Ellie had spent most of her childhood in foster homes. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You were right,” She began, a little defeated, “Dina doesn’t care about it.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Anything else she knows about that you wouldn’t usually tell anyone?” Joel prompted, knowing that Ellie would understand what he meant. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie slumped down in the old seat, “No. Not gotten to that part as of yet.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Joel looked at her with sympathetic eyes. He really wished that Ellie could more open, more proud about who she was. He wanted for her to be open about being a foster kid and open about her sexuality. He could understand her wanting to hide her maimed left hand, but even so, like he’d told her countless times, people wouldn’t care about it if they were your friends. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You remember how scared you were to tell me?” Joel said softly, his usual gruffness disappearing. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah. I was shitting it. You are from Texas after all.” She said as she fiddled with the label on one of the coffee containers. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“But I didn’t reject you, did I?” Joel prodded again, urging her to talk out her feelings. She’d been getting a little better at it since her friendship with Dina had started, he’d noticed. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">That girl did like to talk a lot. He supposed it was good for Ellie. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No.” She sighed, “I just... Can’t forget what happened. How much the other kids hated me. I </span>
  <span class="s2">know </span>
  <span class="s1">Dina is nice, and I’ve heard her friends are really cool too, but it’s so fucking hard to even think about telling her when I remember all the things people said to me.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They’d already arrived at their house, but Joel didn’t take off his seatbelt or open the door. He didn’t want to end the chat they were having, wanting Ellie to let out all of her feelings and talk about it.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Since the incident with Abby, they hadn’t talked much about it all. It came up a few times, but Ellie usually changed the subject before they could go any deeper. As always, Joel never wanted to pry too much, for fear she wouldn’t talk to him openly again.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sometimes he heard her awake late at night, pacing her room or going downstairs for a glass of water at an ungodly hour. It was a deep trauma he knew she still suffered with. He just hoped she was working through it instead of hiding it from him. She was sharing things with Dina, talking openly about things that bothered her to the olive skinned girl, so he felt a little more confident that was working through it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Are you scared of getting rejected again, or are you scared of what you might do if it happens?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie’s breath hitched at the question, her chest tight and her heart clenching painfully. She squeezed her eyes shut as hard as she could for a few seconds. </span>
  <span class="s2">
    <em>I’m scared of ending up alone again. I’m terrified I’ll lose all self control and do something worse than last time.</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She took in a deep, shaky breath, hating how </span>
  <span class="s2">fucking </span>
  <span class="s1">hard it was to talk about the things that kept her up at night. “Both. I-I don’t wanna lose Dina. I don’t wanna have to move schools again. I’ve already lost the plot once at this school, what if it happens again?” Her breathing was short, like her lungs couldn’t take in enough oxygen. Abby’s bleeding face flashed into her vision, hot blood spurted from her crushed fingers, “What if-what if I can’t stop myself and I-I-“ </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ellie.” He said firmly, his large hands cupping her shaking face. “You won’t. You aren’t hiding from me anymore, you know you don’t have that burden anymore. You can </span>
  <span class="s2"><em>always</em> </span>
  <span class="s1">talk to me, no matter what or when.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She raised her hands and gripped onto his wrists, his touch grounding her and helping her breathing calm down. “Okay, okay...” she breathed out slowly, trying to pin down her thumping heart. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His thumbs swiped her cheeks comfortingly, “You remember what I said when you told me?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She nodded, breath shaky, “You said you’d still love me no matter what.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He smiled sadly at her, “Remember that, okay? I meant it then and I still mean it now. Always.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">———————-</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Joel sat a traumatised and mute Ellie down on the barstool at the counter. He filled a glass with water and placed it in front of her before sitting opposite her, confusion and worry present on his ageing face. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>He’d been at work when the school had informed him that something had happened, a fight had broken out, and Ellie had been taken to the hospital. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>He was pained when she left A&amp;E room, face bruised blue and black, with a large bandage wrapped around her entire hand. He’d been so worried when he got the call, he’d felt the same heart stopping dread when he’d seen Sarah’s blonde hair sprawled over the bloodied pavement. It was something he never wanted to feel ever again. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>The doctor had given him the details of her injuries, which included severe facial bruising, a broken nose, bruised ribs and the worst of it, two severed fingers. Two severed fingers that couldn’t be reattached. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>She’d been silent the whole journey home. He’d tried to talk to her, to ask what happened, if she okay. He hated to admit that there was a tiny bit of anger floating around in his raging sea of emotions, as the doctor had explained that the bruising on her right hand implied she hadn’t just been beaten up, but she’d been in a fight - which is what the principal had said, too. But he didn’t want to express any of his anger (and do some proper, stern parenting) until he knew the full story. She could have been defending herself, which seemed highly likely considering how feisty and foul mouthed she was.</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>So here they were, sat opposite each other at the kitchen counter.</em>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>“Ellie...” Joel started lowly, eyes swimming with worry, “What happened? Who did this?” </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Ellie stayed silent, her traumatised eyes staring blankly at an old scratch on the countertop. She was rocking slightly, her body trying to cope with the damage it had sustained. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>“Ellie please. I ain’t mad. I’m scared, I’m worried. I wanna know who these fuckers are that jumped you and beat the shit outta you.” His words came out desperate, and it unknowingly made Ellie feel incredibly guilty. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>“I wasn’t jumped.” She mumbled, her tearful eyes fearfully meeting his worried ones. “I... I started it.” </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>“Well that don’t matter to me right now, Ellie. You’ve lost two fingers, your nose is broken. What was the fight about?” He was so confused, so worried and scared. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>“I... can’t say. I can’t.” She sobbed suddenly, hands to her face, trying to stop the tears from falling and the sobs overcoming her. “I can’t, Joel.” </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>He learnt forward, reaching his hand out and brushing her elbow that rested on the countertop, “Whatever it is, Ellie, I won’t be mad, I promise. Was it over drugs? Over some boy? Ellie, you need to tell me so I can help you. Whatever it is I can help you.” His words came out as desperate pleas. Seeing her like this, bruised and crying, sent an ache so deep into his chest he feared it would never go away. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Her sobs grew worse and it became harder and harder to breath, her chest tight and her throat aching. “They were just... saying stuff. Bad stuff. About me.” </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>“So they were bullying you?” </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>“No, yeah, I don’t know. I guess. I just snapped... and started the fight.” She said, voice clogged through hiccups and pained breaths.</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>“You can tell me.” He said gently, “It’s okay. Just breathe and tell me in your own time.” </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>A few moments passed before she shakily began speaking again, but it was more to herself than to Joel, “I... I had her pinned on the floor. I... fuck. I had my hands... they were around her throat. I couldn’t... I couldn’t stop.”</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Joel felt more tears welling in his eyes at seeing her so conflicted and hurt. She was traumatised, trembling and crying uncontrollably. “It’s okay, Ellie.” He said quietly, careful not to raise his voice any higher than a low whisper. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>“No! It’s fucking not.” She was angry all of a sudden, slamming her bruised but not bandaged hand on the counter aggressively, “I... I think I tried to kill her. I couldn’t see anything, just red, just anger. I wasn’t letting go. I didn’t let go until... until my fingers were gone. And there was... blood, everywhere. On her face, her chest and neck, I... fuck.” Her breathing grew slight and fast again, bringing her right hand to her heart. “She... bit them off... I was choking her and I couldn’t fucking stop.” </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Joel rushed from her seat to round the countertop and wrap his large arms around his daughter, one hand smoothing her hair down whilst the other one held her tight. “It’s okay, ssh, it’s okay, El. It’s done. Just breath with me, breath with me, come on.” He slowed his own erratic and panicked breathing down to a deep, slow rhythm. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>It took a few minutes for Ellie to sync her breaths with him, her hand clamped tightly around his shoulder. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>When she’d calmed down a little, Joel slowly unravelled his arms from around her and crouched down in front of her. “Hey. You’re okay.” He soothed gently, laying a hand on her knee. There was a bloodstain there, which he chose to ignore for the time being. If only it was that easy. <br/></em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>She nodded silently, tears still streaming down her cheeks. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>“You gonna tell me what those kids were saying that got you so riled up?” He suggested gently, eyes locked on to hers. He saw fear and doubt behind the watery tears. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>“I... they... they’ve been saying stuff for a while so I just... snapped eventually.” She looked away dejectedly, another tear slipping down her cheek. He could tell there was more to it than that; that was the thing with Ellie, there was always more that she wouldn’t let up on. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>“A while? Ellie why didn’t you say anything?” He replied desperately, ignoring the itchiness in his beard from all of the tears that had settled into the coarse hair. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>“Because... because I was scared... scared of what you’d say or think.” She said quietly, hand cradling the other bandaged one. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>“Why would you be scared? I’m... I’m basically your dad, I’m the one who takes care of you. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, Ellie.” </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>“Well tell them that, then!” Her reply was angry but laced with hurt. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>“I don’t know what you mean, Ellie. I’m trying to tell you that I can help you, you can talk to me about this stuff and-“ </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>“I’m gay, Joel.” She interrupted with clenched eyes and shaking hands. She couldn’t look him in the eye, too ashamed, too scared to see the disappointment that would undoubtably be evident in his eyes. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>A moment of silence passed. The older man reached up and gently held both of her smaller hands in his larger, rougher ones, “Is that what all of this is about?” He said gently, squeezing her dependant hand slightly, trying to offer some sense of comfort through her panic. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>She nodded painfully, her head facing away from him, eyes still slammed shut.</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>“Oh, Ellie...” He sighed and stood slowly enough not to alarm her. He gathered her in his arms again and squeezed when she started to sob into his shoulder, “It’s okay. It doesn’t matter to me, I promise. I swear, Ellie.” He didn’t bother to stop the tears that dripped from his watery eyes into her hair, “You’re still my Ellie. It doesn’t change anything, I’m... I still love you no matter what, okay?” </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>She shook her head against his chest, “But... I...” </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>He moved back and held her by the shoulders at arms length, “Hey, look at me.” </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>She lifted her puffy eyes to meet his. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">He looked straight at her, unmoving, “Ellie, I don’t care who you like</span>
    <span class="s1">. </span>
    <span class="s2">I love you so much, you’re my daughter, remember? Nothing will change that, I mean it. I will still love you no matter what.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Unsure forest eyes looked over his face, taking in the tear tracks on his face and the wetness in his beard. “You... you swear?” She said unsurely, searching his face for any signs of disgust or anger. The same looks the other kids gave her as they passed her in halls. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>“I swear. I love you, Ellie.” Joel replied with so much sureness and truthiness in his voice that it made Ellie’s heart throb. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">“I love you too.” She threw her arms around him, her chest filling with happiness and relief that Joel </span>
    <span class="s1">accepted </span>
    <span class="s2">her. <br/><br/></span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">After everything she’d put him through in the last few hours, he still loved her.</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">Joel wasn’t sure how long they stayed there, holding each other as glistening tears fell from their eyes. He was trying his absolute best to hold it together for her. All he wanted was for Ellie to be happy and without pain; she’d suffered so much already, living without family and without hope, she didn’t deserve this. <br/></span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">Ellie deserved the world. He’d tried his hardest to give her things that she didn’t have as a child; a shoulder to cry on, stability, and most importantly, love. Joel knew Ellie was happy living with him, he knew that she felt his fatherly love and didn’t doubt it, but it pained him so deeply to see her so hurt and ashamed because of things happening at school. <br/><br/><br/></span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">What was he supposed to do? <br/></span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">Ellie’s tears finally came to a stop, leaving her sniffling mess. Her eyes were black and swollen, red from her bucket of tears that she had shed. </span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">”Why don’t you head to bed, kid? It’s late. You need to rest up.” <br/><br/></span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">She seemed a little more stable now, having shared her bottled up feelings that he realised must’ve been bothering her for a long time. <br/><br/></span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">The bearded man could tell she was still haunted from the events of the day, her eyes still somewhat distant, blurry and lost.</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">”Okay.” She breathed lowly.</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">The auburn haired girl allowed Joel to aid her out of the seat and guide her up the stairs.</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">Everything hurt. Her broken nose throbbed painfully in time with her bruised ribs, her entire body felt heavy and aching. There was a dull ache where her fingers had been bitten off, and they were beginning to itch uncomfortably. <br/><br/></span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">Joel guided her to her room, setting her down gently on the edge of the unmade bed. <br/></span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">She watched in silence as Joel fished out some comfortable clothes for her to sleep in. He returned with her favourite Nike sweats and an oversized T-shirt that had once belonged to him. <br/></span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">“Don’t set an alarm tomorrow. I’ll wake you up when it’s time for you to take your antibiotics. Tomorrow you just need to rest and take it easy, okay?” His low voice was soothing to her throbbing ears. <br/><br/></span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">Ellie nodded silently as she was handed the clothes.</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">The man flicked on Ellie bedside lamp before moving to the doorway to switch off the main light. <br/></span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">“Joel?” <br/><br/></span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">“Mhmm?” He turned back towards her. She looked so small right now, frail and weak. The low light from the old lamp illuminated her bruised cheeks and eyes, making them look almost hollow. At least it dulled the bloodstains on her clothes. <br/><br/></span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">“Thank you. For everything.” Her voice was as small as she looked, but he could hear the sincerity behind it. <br/><br/></span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">“You don’t ever need to thank me for doing my job, you hear?” It warmed his heart that she appreciated him so deeply, but it hurt just as much. As her parent, it wasn’t just his job to be there for her; it was something he wanted to do, because he loved her. <br/><br/></span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">“I know, I know.” She tried to offer him a smile, though it came a little forced. <br/><br/></span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">“Get some rest, Ellie. If you need anything, just tell me, and don’t you dare hesitate.” <br/><br/></span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">“I won’t, Joel.” <br/><br/></span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>She would, though. His girl didn’t like asking for help. <br/><br/></em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>”Goodnight, Ellie.” Joel said softly, giving the injured girl one last loving glance before pulling the door to, leaving it open just a crack incase of the unlikely event of her asking for help. <br/></em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>“Goodnight, Joel.” Her voice came quiet and muffled through the wall. <br/><br/></em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>He swallowed thickly, walking swiftly to his room and closing the door behind him as quietly as possible. When it was shut, his resolve cracked, and hot tears filled his eyes. <br/><br/></em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>His baby girl was hurting, traumatised and permanently scarred. <br/><br/></em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>It was a lot to process. It hurt, damn did it hurt. <br/></em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>He’d held it together as best as he could in front of her. <br/></em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>But now his body was racked with choked sobs, tears blurring his vision as they spilled down his cheeks.</em>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>He didn’t get any sleep that night. </em>
</p><p class="p1"> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>More flashbacks, oops. </p><p>As always, thank you so much for reading! Appreciate all the kudos, bookmarks and comments. </p><p>I promise you more Ellie/Dina is coming soon.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Nike? Puma? Adidas? Must be a lesbian</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Ellie remembers her birthday. Dina finally introduces Ellie to her friends. Dina also has a mini meltdown.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Joel had concluded that he was not sending Ellie back to that school ever again. There were only a couple of weeks left of the academic year anyway, and Ellie had already completed the necessary tests for that year. Her hand injury was still healing, and she hadn’t had a chance to adjust to it yet, as she was commanded by the doctors that she needed to wear a bulky bandage for at least a month. Joel helped her redress the wounds everyday, but the sight of red, swollen stumps never failed to bring salty tears to his eyes. </em> </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>He’d had a very serious conversation with the principal in his office a few days after the incident. Ellie hadn’t been present, as she’d been at home recovering, resting so her bruised body could heal. </em> </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s1">The principal had wanted to expel Ellie, but Joel was having none of it. He’d yelled at the skinny, balding principal, exclaiming his disgust at the lack of an anti-bullying policy. He’d used stocky build and rough demeanour to intimidate the tiny principal, claiming that he would be getting in touch with some </span> <span class="s2">very </span> <span class="s1">important people if Abby and the other kids got off without punishment. </span> </em>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Sure, Ellie had nearly killed the other kid, he couldn’t disagree with that. But Joel pushed and pushed, stating that the school was a ‘goddamn disgrace’ for allowing bullying and discrimination. Ellie may have started on Abby, instigated the fight, but that was because she’d grown tired of the constant abuse from the other girl and her peers. Constant abuse that the school ignored. </em> </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Joel has left the man practically cowering, but agreeing that Ellie wouldn’t be expelled but could leave on her guardians wishes, so it wouldn’t be on record. Abby would also face a suspension, as well as any of the other people discovered to have been involved in the incident.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>———-</em>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Two weeks after the incident and it was Ellie’s birthday. </em> </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>It was her eighteenth, but she didn’t really feel like celebrating it. Not when she couldn’t sleep at night; not when she was having almost daily panic attacks. </em> </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Joel had been speaking to her like he was treading on eggshells constantly, not wanting to upset her or remind her of the incident. She hated it. She just wanted things to go back to normal. Not that they ever would - her hand was maimed for life. </em> </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>She just hoped that Joel wasn’t having second thoughts. Second thoughts about adopting a troubled teenager who picked fights at school, unknowingly adopting a gay kid.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <em><span class="s1">Now that she was eighteen... what if he decided he didn’t want to be her parent anymore, after all the trouble</span> <span class="s1">she’d caused him? Being violent, costing him money on the medical bills... Had she just become a thorn in his side? She knew Joel loved her like his own child but that didn’t mean her baggage wouldn’t affect him... </span></em>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>She was proven wrong when she’d gone downstairs to a small stack of gifts and cards from Joel, Tommy and Maria. </em> </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Joel had purposely wrapped them loosely so she could easily open them one-handed, the act of kindness and love bringing small tears to her eyes. Joel wasn’t great with the expression of words, but he sure did make up for it through his actions. </em> </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>The bandage didn’t cover her whole hand, but it was hard to move her other fingers; they ached and felt strained whenever she tried to use them for something, but most of the time it felt like her brain wasn’t connecting with them. The doctor had said she would probably need physio therapy to try and get more fluid movement into the rest of her hand. She wasn’t looking forward to it, but anything would be better than the uselessness her hand was capable of at the moment. She couldn’t even hold a knife at dinner time. </em> </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>She opened the gifts as well as she could one handed, which took a little while but Joel didn’t seem to mind. </em> </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>“Thank you, Joel. I love everything. Thank you.” She said sincerely, a grin splitting her face in two. Despite her current situation - purple cheeks, raccoon eyes from the healing broken nose and two fingers missing - she was incredibly happy and grateful for everything Joel had ever done for her; not just the gifts, but for the family Joel had given her. </em> </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s1">He’d gifted her with some new clothes, the special edition set of a comic book series she’d been eying up for months, a joke book, a swear jar and </span> <span class="s2">Days Gone </span> <span class="s1">for the PlayStation. He’d also bought the remastered version of </span> <span class="s2">Crash Team Racing </span> <span class="s1">but stated that he wanted to wait a while before playing it.</span> </em>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Ellie could only guess that he used to play the original with Sarah when she was still alive, so she didn’t push him to play it anytime soon. </em> </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>She guessed she’d have to wait a while before she gamed again, since holding a controller was out of the question right now. </em> </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>“There is one more thing, kiddo. Now it’s nothin’ big so don’t get too excited...” </em> </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>“Joel,” Ellie cut him off, a watery smile on her face, “You’ve already got me enough, more than I could’ve dreamed from you. Just you adopting me is everything I could’ve wanted.” It was true. She truly appreciated everything he did for her. If it weren’t for him she’d be on her own now. She was eighteen, after all, and she’d be leaving the care system alone and scared and lost, with no family to lean on when things got rough. </em> </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Joel beamed back at her, “Close your eyes an’ stand up. And no peaking, okay?” </em> </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>“Okay.” She replied as she rose to her feet. </em> </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Ellie did what she was told. She heard Joel fumbling about for a few moments before something lightweight was draped around her shoulders. </em> </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>“Alright, you can open your eyes.” He said as he stepped back. </em> </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Ellie’s throat choked up. Words couldn’t explain the acceptance and happiness that she felt. </em> </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>A large, rainbow pride flag was hanging off of her shoulders. </em> </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Joel must’ve seen the watery smile on her face because he was already grinning at her before she lifted her head to look at him.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>“I’m proud of you, Ellie. This is to show I’m proud of you, and you should be proud of yourself.” His voice as so sincere and genuine that it made Ellie ache. </em> </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>“Thank you, Joel. So much. I don’t know what to say...” she trailed off, overwhelmed with his gifts and support and love. </em> </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>“You don’t gotta thank me. Now come here and give your old man a hug.” </em> </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>She did, flag still wrapped around her lanky frame. “I love you, Joel.” She mumbled into his chest.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>“I love you too, Ellie. Happy birthday.” </em> </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">——————</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Ellie didn’t know why she’d dreamt of her birthday. Despite the aching hand and raccoon eyes, and the thoughts of everything that had happened just weeks before, it had been the perfect birthday. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">She’d felt so overwhelmed with love and happiness that she didn’t really know how to handle it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">She remembered Tommy and Maria coming over too, bringing more gifts, even baked her a cake. Esther had gifted her a voucher for her favourite clothing shop, and organised a discount membership card for the comic book shop, so she would receive vouchers and deals every month. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">She’d never felt so loved and wanted in her entire life, it took everything she had to not burst into tears. It even surpassed the day that she moved into Joel’s house, or when Joel had told her he wanted to foster her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Thinking about it made it feel like yesterday. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“You ready to go back to school, kiddo?” Joel said as he pushed a plate of toast over to her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“I guess. Was kinda enjoying my week off though.” She said with a smirk, accepting the toast gratefully. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“If any teachers ask, you were grounded and I took away all of your electronics, okay?” He returned her smile. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Ellie laughed, “Of course. Your parenting is on point.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Make sure you tell Dina what I think of the coffee.” He said as he sat in his usual place opposite her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Is it any good?” She asked through a mouthful of toast. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Joel raised a brow and held up a steaming mug, “Let’s see.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Ellie watched in anticipation as Joel took a long sip. He placed the mug down, but his eyes were closed, as if he were analysing every aspect to the coffee. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">A few moments passed and Ellie was worried he was going to vomit, or he was having a stroke or something, “Well...?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">He opened his eyes, his tone turning serious and focussed, “That is the best damn coffee I have ever had.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Can I maybe try it?” Ellie asked, reaching for his mug with her good hand. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Joel snatched it away before she could reach it, “Absolutely not. Every sip of this is precious, I don’t want to waste it on someone who can’t appreciate it.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Ellie shook her head, “You’re so fucking weird...” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">But she loved that. She loved that they could be weird together. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Hey, Joel,” She said as she cleared up her plates and the drinking glass, “You think maybe you could restring my guitar? I... I wanna learn to play it left handed.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s2">“Sure. Any particular reason why you’ve decided to try and learn again?” He had a feeling that it </span> <span class="s1">might </span> <span class="s2">be to do with a certain dark haired girl... but what did he know? </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Erm, Dina wants me to play a song for her.” She mumbled quietly, busying herself by stacking the plates in the dishwasher. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Joel knew a lot, apparently. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“You gonna serenade her and finally tell her you like her?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Ellie stopped dead in her tracks then, her back to him as she held her glass suspended in the air, just inches away from its place in the cupboard. “Errr...” she trailed off, unsure of what to say because he was fucking right. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s2">She wasn’t planning on telling Dina she liked her because </span> <span class="s1"> <em>fuck that</em> </span> <span class="s2">, that was terrifying and out of the question. There was no way she wasn’t going to risk her friendship; it would be too painful for Dina to reject her, or even worse, terminate their friendship for good. It wasn’t worth the risk. </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“She convinced me to start playing again, said she’d buy me the Soldiers of Space comic if I could learn a full song and play it to her.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Joel didn’t miss how she didn’t deny having a crush on her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“So you do like her, then?” He said between sips of coffee. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">She sighed and turned to face him, her back resting against the kitchen sides, hands wrapping around the edges, “Yes...” she replied, almost defeatedly. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“You think she likes you back?” He watched her over the top of his mug. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Her face twisted a little as she thought about it, but she knew the answer, no matter how much she didn’t like it. “I mean... she’s probably not into girls so...” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Joel took another sip, “But you don’t know that. If the words haven’t come out of her mouth or you don’t have any proof you don’t know that.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s2">Ellie shrugged dejectedly, “I guess... but even if she </span> <span class="s1">did </span> <span class="s2">like girls... I don’t think she’d like me back.” </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Well why the hell not?” He said firmly, placing his empty mug to one side. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">She shrugged again, scratching the back of her neck like she always did when she was nervous or unsure, “I don’t know... I’m not... ugh, I don’t fucking know.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She was too angry, too unpredictable. A history in foster care that left her struggling to accept kindness when it was offered to her. Too fucked up, too emotional, too damaged. Who would want that? </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Joel offered her a sympathetic smile, “Well, I think she’d be damn lucky to have you.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“You do?” She gave him a hopeful look. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">He nodded, “Of course. And I ain’t just saying that ‘cause you’re my kid.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s2">Ellie shook her head as a smile broke out onto her face, “You absolutely </span> <span class="s1">are.</span> <span class="s2">” </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“You deserve someone like her, Ellie. I mean it. I can see why you like her.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Joel...” She whined, hiding her face in her hands to mask the redness that was spreading over her freckled cheeks. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s2">“What? She’s pretty and kind, </span> <span class="s1">and </span> <span class="s2">gives out free coffee. But best of all? She makes you smile.” He smiled softly at her, the wrinkles beside his eyes deepening. </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“We’re not talking about this, Joel.” She rushed past him to grab her bag and jacket. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">He just chuckled to himself, feeling content and happy for his daughter. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">——————</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">She hadn’t seen Dina until lunch time, her little chat with Joel that morning had made it so she just scraped the bell and made into her seat just as the teacher arrived in the classroom. Whilst there, she’d glanced over her shoulder and gave Dina a little wave whilst the teacher wasn’t looking, just to ensure her that everything was okay and she’d just arrived later than usual. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Ellie waited beside the lockers for Dina at lunch time. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Hey,” Dina said, her tote swung over one shoulder, with a slogan of ‘save our sea life’ in deep blue letters printed on the outside, “You wanna sit with me and my friends today?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s2">“Ermmm, sure?” Ellie said unsurely, feeling the nervousness creep up her neck. She wasn’t great at meeting new people, and she </span> <span class="s1">hated </span> <span class="s2">being introduced to new people. It was always awkward. </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">It reminded her of Tony Stark, how he hated being handed things. She hated being introduced to people. Maybe that’s why she got on so well with Joel, they hadn’t ever been formally introduced to one another; the same with Dina. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Great. They’re really excited to meet you, they all hated Dylan’s guts and were happy to find out someone had finally took him down a level. Or 5.” Dina beamed at her, taking hold of Ellie’s larger hand and leading them outside. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1"><em>It’s just Dina’s friends. It’s cool. It’s fine. You know they’re cool, you’ll be fine.</em> </span> <span class="s2">She tried to reassure herself as Dina lead the way. The softness of the smaller girls hand in her own was incredibly distracting, distracting enough that Ellie prayed her hands didn’t start to sweat against Dina’s. That would be gross. </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Dina pushed her down into a seat around a circular bench, with three other people already sat there. Dina took the seat beside her and slung a causal arm around Ellie’s shoulders, the touch sending little sparks though her skin. “This is Ellie, guys. And Ellie, this is,” She used her finger to point to each person as she talked to them, “Jesse, Emily, and Ollie.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">They all smiled at her, Jesse being the one to speak first, “Nice to finally meet you, Ellie. Dina talks about you a lot.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">The blonde haired girl - Emily - laughed in agreement, “She’s always saying how cool you are so it’s nice to finally meet you.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s2">Ellie bit the inside of her cheek - </span> <span class="s1"><em>don’t be weird don’t be weird don’t mess this up don’t be weird</em>. </span> <span class="s2">“Dina’s told me a lot about you guys, too. Nice to put names to the faces.” Ellie felt Dina squeeze her shoulder comfortingly, as if to say ‘you’re doing great’.</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">She really didn’t deserve Dina. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Ollie, who was jamming almost half an entire protein bar in his mouth, sputtered “Nice going beating up Dylan, by the way. He is such a dick.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Ellie shrugged, “He was being a piece of shit.” The auburn haired girl avoided going into detail about the fight; she was still ashamed of her outburst, unable to feel even an ounce of pride for beating up one of the schools bullies. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Jesse chuckled humourlessly, his long hair blowing in the cold breeze, “He’s always been like that. Messin’ with people he knows won’t fight back. Not seen him say one nasty comment since you beat him up, I think you’ve done the school a favour.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Ellie felt a little uncomfortable for being praised for her vicious outburst, and Dina seemed to notice. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Jesse’s picked up reading comic books, you know?” Dina said, unraveling her arm from Ellie’s shoulder to fish out her lunch from her bag.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Ellie pushed herself to engage in the conversation, wanting to show Dina she was making an effort. And truly, she wanted to - she wanted to make friends with these guys. Dina had already spoken about them a lot, reminisced stories and memories about them to her many times. They seemed like good people, so making an effort was the very least she could do. “Oh really? Which series?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s2">Jesse fumbled through his bag and slapped the 23rd issue of </span> <span class="s1">Space Villains: Rising Apocalypse </span> <span class="s2">on the table. “I tried to read </span> <span class="s1">Jupiter Showdown </span> <span class="s2">and </span> <span class="s1">Battle Monsters </span> <span class="s2">but I didn’t find them very interesting. But this,” He held up </span> <span class="s1">Space Villains</span> <span class="s2">, “This is so good. I can’t put them down.” </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Ellie felt an untameable smile creep onto her face, “Jupiter and Battle Monsters suck. If you like Space Villains, I actually have the full set of Space Heroes, which shows you the other side of the story from a different perspective, if you wanted to borrow it?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Jesse grinned at her, “Seriously? That’d be awesome!” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Ellie nodded her head, “Yep, every single issue, all 88 of them.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Dina rolled her eyes - Ellie was such a fucking dork. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">They started to engage in conversation about the comic, with Ellie telling him to not read anymore and to catch up with Heroes before he continued to read Villains, as they were best read side by side. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Emily groaned, shooting Dina a knowing look as they watched the two converse about space powers and ray guns and whatever the fuck all of it meant, “Did you tell Jesse to read comics so Ellie could settle in a bit easier?” She said lowly, just so the two of them could hear it. Ollie was too busy attempting to peel an orange with his stubby, chewed down nails to be paying attention to the girls’ conversation. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Dina chuckled lightly, “Kinda. Jesse has always been too stuck up, and Ellie never shuts up about those comics, so I had a look through Ellie’s comic stash to find one I thought Jesse would like. Turns out it was a good thing, I even caught him reading it in class last week. He’s obsessed.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Emily watched the two continuing to talk nerdy shit; Ollie had become kind of intrigued as well, asking questions about the story and the characters, choosing to give up on the barely peeled orange.  Emily smiled, turning to Dina, “You were right, she is kinda sweet. There’s a party at Beth’s house next Saturday, you both coming?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Dina nodded, “Sure, I’m down. Haven’t been a party in ages.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s2">Emily wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, dropping her voice even lower, “That’s because you’ve been spending so much time with your new </span> <span class="s1"><em>friend</em>.” </span> <span class="s2">She made mini quotation marks with her hands. “What’s the deal with that anyway? Am I missing something or...?” </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Dina slapped her leg, checking to see if the lads and Ellie were listening. When she concluded that they weren’t, she hushed her voice to a quiet whisper, “It’s not like that. We’re just friends.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s2">Emily made a face of disbelief, clearly not believing her friends words, “I find that hard to believe. You do talk about her </span> <span class="s1">a lot. </span> <span class="s2">You’re always round each other’s houses, too. Forgive me for not thinking everything is all innocent between the two of you.” </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Dina groaned, grabbing Emily’s hand and pulling her up, borderline tearing her from her seat. “We’re just going to the bathroom, we won’t be long. You guys alright?” Her words were spoken more to Ellie than the boys, wanting to make sure Ellie was comfortable being left with them for a few minutes. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Ellie smiled brightly and nodded before turning back to Jesse and Ollie and continuing their conversation. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Dina felt really proud at seeing Ellie interact with them, but right now she needed to speak to Emily privately, without the risk of being overheard. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">They reached the old dirty bathrooms near the art department. No one ever went there, apart from the kids who liked to spark one up on their breaks. Luckily today, it was deserted. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Well?” Emily snatched her wrist back from Dina’s grip. “Spit it out, then.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Dina paced slightly, walking back and forth in front of the blonde girl, “I, I think I might like her?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Emily watched her, unfazed and unsurprised, “So...? You worried she doesn’t like you back or something?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s2">Dina brushed her hands over her face, making some strangled noise as she did so, “I don’t know. I think she does? I mean, you know me, I flirt with </span> <span class="s1">everyone </span> <span class="s2">but it’s just different with her.” </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Emily was starting to get dizzy watching the other girl pace holes in the tarmac, “Does she respond to flirting or...?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“I don’t know!” Dina threw her arms up in frustration, “She’s like... so fucking oblivious and clueless half the time. Sometimes I think she catches on but she’s so fucking reticent!” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Emily sighed, stopping Dina’s frantic pacing by placing her dainty hands firmly on Dina’s shoulders, “You need to calm down. You say big words that I don’t understand when you’re frustrated.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Dina groaned unenthusiastically, “I just don’t know.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Emily hugged her quickly before holding her at arms length, attempting to ground the other girl and ease her stress, “Is she even gay?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Dina laughed, “Of course she is, she likes fucking space comics and video games and dresses like a grungy skateboarder.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Emily chuckled lightly, “But has she told you that?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Dina sighed, “No, but I just get the vibe. She wears mismatching sports brands, for fucks sake. Who wears puma socks, Adidas shorts and a Nike t-shirt and shoes all at the same time?” She took a deep breath in attempt to calm herself down and put an end to her word vomit, “Things just feel so... light when it’s just the two of us, you know? I’m fairly certain she likes me back but she’s really hard to read sometimes. And she’s super reserved and kinda shy, I wouldn’t wanna push things with her for risk of losing our friendship.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Emily sighed and offered her a sad smile, “Give it time. She probably just feels the same way as you. And if she’s as bashful as you say she is, she probably won’t be the one making the first move.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Dina considered her friends words for a moment, twisting her mouth, unsure or what to say or do. A few seconds passed before she sighed, “We should probably head back, huh?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Emily wrapped an arm around her shoulders, “You can talk to me about it any time, okay? You know I’m available on Facebook, WhatsApp, Instagram, Snapchat, all those things. Even MySpace.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Dina nodded, grateful for her friends kind words. “Thanks, Em.” She breathed out, her heart calming down to a regular rhythm. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">They were nearing the table now, “For what it’s worth, I think you’d make a great couple.” She whispered sincerely, smiling as she caught site of the three dorks crowded around Jesse’s phone, watching some video. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“You guys took a while.” Ollie murmured as the two girls sat down, not taking his dark eyes off of the video playing on Jesse’s phone. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Yeah,” Dina replied, flustered, “Think there was something wrong with the pipes, we had to go to a different bathroom because the other one smelt so bad.” The lie rolled off of her tongue so easily she almost felt guilty. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“That’s gross!” Jesse exclaimed, “But so fucking cool?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“The bathroom? Yeah it was kinda gross but-“ </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“What?” Jesse questioned, raising his eyes from his phone. “I was talking about the video.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Emily put her hands to her hips, her eyes holding fake anger, “Were you even listening to us?” She exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">The three nerds just looked at her, dumbfounded and guilty. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">A moment passed and everyone at the table just burst out laughing, Ellie included. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Dina’s heart swelled at seeing Ellie laugh so fully. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">If she wasn’t sure she had romantic feelings before, she was certain of it now.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">Voicing her conflicted feelings to Emily had helped settle her mind a little, but seeing Ellie settling in so well with her friends only sent her stomach into another somersault of fluttering butterflies. <br/><br/></p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">At this rate, hiding her feelings was going to become very, very difficult. <br/><br/></p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">It had taken Ellie so long to open up to her, and whilst Dina was growing more and more sure everyday that Ellie reciprocated her romantic feelings, there was a nagging feeling that pulsated at the back of her head. If she made a move or voiced her feelings to Ellie, would there be any consequences? Would Ellie shy away back into her metaphorical shell? Would there be rejection, leaving Dina to face the fact that Ellie only see’s her as a friend and nothing more? <br/><br/></p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">There was a chance that Ellie felt the same. But that chance made it all the more confusing and harder to process. <br/><br/></p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">“You okay?” Ellie asked quietly, dropping a hand to Dina’s knee. The contact, even over her fabric of her jeans, caused her skin to tingle. <br/><br/></p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">“I’m good. All this nerd talk is making me drowsy.” She quipped back with a flirtatious wink. <br/><br/></p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">The simple action caused the tiniest blush to creep over Ellie’s freckled cheeks. The dark haired girl <em>swore</em> she saw those forest eyes flicker over her lips. </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">Fuck it. She had to tell her. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading! Flashbacks come to an end for now! See you in a day or so!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Netflix and Chill?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dina manages to convince Ellie to go to the party, and invites her over for the weekend. Esther finally says hello. Gimme a ‘Hello Esther’.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was Friday, the day before the party. Every lunch time for the entire week Ellie joined Dina and her friends, and with each day it felt more natural for her to be there, part of the group. She’d even played Call of Duty with Ollie and Jesse in an online party after school a couple of times. Emily had let Ellie copy her math homework, because Ellie had been too caught up playing video games. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They were her friends. She had friends. It transported warmth into her chest, just thinking about it. Her childhood had been incredibly lonely, with a painful absence of love and friendship. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Right now, she had everything she could have ever wanted. Well, nearly everything. A spaceship and a pet dinosaur was out of the question, but she had family and friends. What else could she want? </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina rounded the corner then, her destination being Ellie. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">So, there was </span>
  <span class="s2">
    <em>one </em>
  </span>
  <span class="s1"><em>more</em> thing she could ever want; to call Dina hers, to be her girlfriend, for Dina to be </span>
  <span class="s2">her </span>
  <span class="s1">girlfriend. Ellie didn’t want to push her luck, wouldn’t dare risk it; she could settle for friends, that was good enough for her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The thought of her life without Dina seemed like a very bleak life indeed. Now that she’d tasted some sense of paradise, that being Dina present in her life, she couldn’t imagine a future without Dina. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You coming to the party then, El?” Dina asked, putting on her best puppy dog eyes. A bright smile graced her lips, her skin was glowing with excitement. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Do I have to?” The taller girl whined. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well, I’m not gonna push you to go.” Dina said, reaching up to pick a thread that had come loose on Ellie’s jacket. It was too big for her, and Dina was sure it belonged to Joel. “But Jesse, Emily and Ollie want you there. And so do I.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie twisted her mouth, wanting so badly to say yes and no at the same time. She wanted to spend time with her friends, Dina especially, but parties weren’t her scene. She wasn’t sure if she could trust herself when her actions were influenced by alcohol. She wasn’t sure if she could control the urge to grab Dina’s perfect, flawless face and kiss her. It was already hard enough to control herself when she was sober, adding alcohol into the mix would surely be disastrous. Dina’s lips always looked too inviting to ignore, how would Ellie cope when her blood was fused with alcohol? </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But the hope in Dina’s eyes melted her insides, and she just couldn’t say no. The shorter woman had that kind of pull on her, the kind of force that made Ellie want to give everything </span>
  <span class="s2">just </span>
  <span class="s1">to make sure Dina was happy. “Okay. Okay I’ll go.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina beamed at her, reaching up on her toes slightly to press a light kiss to her cheek, “Okay. I’ve gotta shoot off, but I’ll text you the details tonight!” Her hand lingered on Ellie’s shoulder for a few seconds before she took off down the corridor. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie watched her leave, dumbfounded, her cheek tingling from when Dina had briefly pressed her soft lips to her cheek. She lifted her hand and touched the tingling area. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Her hand was still brushed up against her cheek when she slumped into Joel’s truck. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Everything okay, kid?” Joel asked as he watched her get in. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah,” She breathed, a dreamy, dumb smile forming on her face, cheeks aching and tingling, “Yeah, everything’s great.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re oddly jubilant today. Somethin’ you wanna tell me?” He smiled just as big, having a feeling it might be to do with a certain girl. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Dina kissed my cheek.” She said almost breathlessly, like she didn’t even believe what had just happened. Truly, she didn’t believe it, but it had happened. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Joel couldn’t help the smile that split his face at the sight of his smitten daughter, “Well that’s some damn good news.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She cleared her throat and rubbed the still tingling area, “Can I stay at Dina’s on Saturday night? We’re um, going to a party.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“A party? Since when do you go to parties?” Joel said in disbelief, keeping his eyes focussed on the road. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Since Dina asked me and I’m too nice to say no.” She deflated into the seat so much the seatbelt almost strangled her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Do you wanna go, though?” Joel said cautiously, conscious that socialising in big groups wasn’t really Ellie’s strong point. Socialising in general was not Ellie’s strong suits. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I do. Dina will be there, and so will Jesse, Ollie and Emily.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m happy you’ve made yourself some friends, kiddo. Of course you can stay at Dina’s.” His tone went a little more serious, “You’ll look after each other, right? If one of ya’ll gets a bit too drunk you go straight back to hers okay?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie nodded, “Yeah, of course.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“And if you need me I’ll be there, just call okay?” He said firmly, wanting to get it drilled into her head. He knew it was an innocent house party but with Ellie’s crippling social anxiety, he couldn’t help but worry a bit. But she was eighteen, and could make her own choices, unless it was something horrendously dumb; like getting an infinity sign tattoo. Joel hated those things, and would be very disappointed if she came home with one of them. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But back to the situation at hand. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I got it, Joel. Don’t drink too much, no drugs, no fights. Got it.” She offered him a grateful smile. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s my girl.” He said as her patted her leg. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They arrived home a short time later and Ellie shot straight upstairs to have a little freak out. She lay splayed out on top of her bed, sighing happily as she listened to some soft music in the background. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She’d started to try and learn her guitar again, and she was making progress. She already knew how a guitar worked, but trying to coordinate her brain to use it in a way she wasn’t used to was proving difficult. But she was getting somewhere. Dina had well and truly motivated her to begin playing again. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina had kissed her. She’d actually kissed her. Not on the mouth, but still, a kiss was a kiss. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And sure, it had probably been in a friendly way, but it didn’t stop the absolute joy that exploded in her chest. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She decided to text Dina to ask about the plans for weekend. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>So, what’s the plan for the weekend? </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina replied a few moments later, </span>
  <span class="s2">
    <em>You’re eager, I actually think you might be excited. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie smiled, her cheeks protesting from being overused; she hadn’t stopped grinning the whole way home. </span>
  <span class="s2">
    <em>You know what? I’m glad you invited me. I’m actually kinda looking forward to it. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Check you out, you social butterfly. I’m happy for you. But please don’t ignore me the whole night to talk to Jesse about comics ;) </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie scoffed. She would never ignore Dina, she couldn’t. Someone as beautiful and wondrous as her could never be forgotten. </span>
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Deal. So, the plans? </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Okay, so you come over Saturday lunch time. We eat, smoke a little weed, shower and get ready. Jesse, Ollie and Emily are coming at 7 for pre drinks. Beth’s house is only a 10 minute walk away, we’re gonna get there for about 9. Sound cool? </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Can’t wait. Especially for the weed. Your parents away again? </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Yep, I stocked up after school, which is why I had to shoot. My parents just left, actually. Could always make it into a weekender bender if you can take time outta your dorky schedule? </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie felt an odd sense of confidence overcome here. Ellie knew she could be a clueless idiot, but sometimes she </span>
  <span class="s2"><em>swore</em> </span>
  <span class="s1">Dina was flirting with her, and not just in the typical Dina way. The lingering touches, constant compliments, the awkward silences... Maybe she was reading too far into things, but maybe, just </span>
  <span class="s2">maybe, </span>
  <span class="s1">she was on to something. Or maybe she was getting her hopes up, setting out her heart to get stamped on. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>I’ll always make time for you, pretty lady. Lemme ask the dinosaur if I can stay over for the whole weekend. I’ll let you know :) </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina’s reply came through instantly. </span>
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Okay, hot stuff. Don’t leave me waiting too long. I don’t like waiting ;) </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie allowed a strangled groan to tear from her throat. This was what confused her! The flirty language, the compliments, the winky faces and flirtatious emoji’s... What did it all mean? </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She knew now that she had it bad for Dina; like, embarrassingly bad. She really liked her, thought she was the most gorgeous woman on the planet, and she was so caring and understanding... She was the definition of perfect. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Well, no one was perfect, but to Ellie, she was. Dina was her first thought in the morning, and her last thought before she fell asleep. Often, Dina plagued her thoughts at night, sleep evading her as she thought of nothing but the olive skinned woman who she had the privilege of calling best friend. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After rereading the text message from Dina, she raced downstairs to see Joel on the couch watching Orange is the New Black, drinking one of </span>
  <span class="s2"><em>her</em> </span>
  <span class="s1">energy drinks.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She flopped on the couch beside him and they watched silently for a few moments as she tried to figure out what season he was watching. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re on season five already?” She teased, leaning over the snatch the energy drink away from him.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I was drinking that!” He exclaimed, watching angrily as she downed the rest of it in large gulps. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She put on her best Texas accent and deepened her voice as much as physically possible, “‘Those things’ll rot your teeth, kiddo. They’re full of sugar, Ellie, they’re not good for your heart.’” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Joel scowled at her before throwing up his hands in defeat, “I ran outta coffee, okay?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie gaped at the bearded man, her jaw hanging open in disbelief, “You’re fucking kidding. Dina gave you </span>
  <span class="s2">two </span>
  <span class="s1">massive fuck-off containers just a week ago. How could you have drank it all?!” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Joel groaned, “It’s too darn good, Ellie. I had five cups of it yesterday. Then I spent all of this morning paying for it.” He gripped his stomach and shuddered at the memory of being on the toilet for almost half an hour, “I’m having withdrawal symptoms.” He moaned pathetically, and Ellie honestly couldn’t tell if he was putting it on or he really was that pathetic when it came to coffee. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Tell you what, old man.” She paused the television, “You let me stay at Dina’s all weekend, and I can get you the coffee tonight.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Joel eyed her, as if weighing up the options in his head, “Did she message you saying ‘my parents aren’t home’ or somethin’? ‘Cause you seem mighty eager to get over there.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie slapped his leg, hard. How dare he reference memes to her. “You want your coffee or not?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He grumbled incoherently for a few seconds. “Fine. But can you wait a few hours? My stomach’s gettin’ bad again.” He rubbed his stomach, “I shouldn’t have had the energy drink.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You shouldn’t have drank 2 containers of coffee in a week. Don’t blame the energy drink.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He shrugged, “Guess you’re right. Esther is gonna be over in 20 minutes, if I’m still in the bathroom, will you keep her entertained ‘till I’m done?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Whatever.” She waved dismissively as he suddenly rushed up from the couch, clutching his gurgling stomach. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">25 minutes passed, Joel was still in the upstairs bathroom. She could hear the water running, so she assumed he was freshening up after shitting out a whole weeks worth of coffee. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She kept herself occupied by scrolling through Facebook. She never posted anything on the site herself, hadn’t updated anything on her page since she was fifteen, but the site was a good way of keeping up with recent memes and news. Whenever a new video game, comic or manga was announced, Facebook was where she first heard about it. Admittedly, she also used it to check out Dina’s profile; more than once. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">The door opened, and Joel’s girlfriend stepped in, Esther. She was a sweet lady; looked great for her age, too. She kept on top of her greying roots, wore light and natural make up and had a lovely smile. </span>She’d always been kind to Ellie, too. Esther was like family to her now. </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hi, Ellie!” She said sweetly as she hung up her coat on her designated peg, “How are you?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie offered her a warm smile; she’d overcome her shyness around Esther a long time ago. “I’m really good actually. You need a drink or anything? Joel’s just in the bathroom cleaning up.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m okay, thank you. Joel promised me a candlelit dinner with some wine, so I’ll just wait.” She glanced over at the kitchen, “I see he hasn’t even started yet.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie chuckled and budged up on the sofa so Esther could sit down, “Nope. He’s been having terrible coffee withdrawal symptoms. He’s been binging this all day.” She motioned to the television. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He’s been watching Orange is the New Black? He kept that quiet.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie laughed, “Yeah, think he’s embarrassed. He said there was too much sex in it, but here he is, half way through the fifth season.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Esther laughed lightly, before saying suddenly, “I almost forgot, I got you a little something.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Really? You didn’t have to!” Ellie said politely as she watched Esther dig through her handbag. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well I saw it in the store and I knew you’d love it, couldn’t help myself.” She retrieved a neatly folded t-shirt and handed it over to the younger woman. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie unfolded it, holding it out in front of her, “Holy shit!” She exclaimed in awe and disbelief as a massive, unbelieving grin split her face.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The T-shirt was a little oversized and dark grey in colour. There was a small, but slightly faded design at the upper left breast. It was a black ray gun, with </span>
  <span class="s2"><em>Savage Starlight</em> </span>
  <span class="s1">written underneath. The back pattern was just as worn and faded as the front, but still in decent condition. The back featured the iconic space ship from the comics, with small text underneath that read, “On March 14th, 2010, everything changes.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">In absolute awe, Ellie gawped at the older woman. “Where did you get this? <em>How </em>did you get this? This is so rare, it runs for like 300 bucks online!” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Esther smiled happily at the younger woman’s surprise, “I actually saw it in a charity shop, it was only 10 dollars. I didn’t know it was so rare.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie was still in awe of the shirt, unable to take her eyes off of it, “It’s the advertising t shirt people in comic book stores would wear. They were only made for specific stores... This is amazing! Thank you so much!” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Esther smiled warmly, happy she’d managed to make Ellie’s day. “Glad I could make you happy. I’ll keep my eye out for any more.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Her only reply was another beaming smile. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Got any plans for the weekend then, Ellie?” Esther said as she leant back to make herself more comfortable.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m staying at a friends house for the weekend, going to some big party tomorrow night.” She scratched the back of her neck, still feeling a little nervous about it all. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sounds like fun.” She hummed, “You’ve settled into your new school all good and well then?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie nodded, a smile gracing her face as she thought of her friends, most specifically the girl with dark hair who she couldn’t get out of her mind, “Yeah... really well.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Esther smirked, “I know that look. What’s her name?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie knew the reddening of her cheeks meant that she couldn’t play dumb. Esther was good at reading people, especially people who didn’t want to be read. “Uh, Dina.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She offered the younger woman a warm smile, “Well, I hope you have fun at the house party. I’d say don’t do anything stupid, but I imagine Joel has already beat me to it.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Of course he has.” She muttered, “You know how he is.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Talkin’ ‘bout me when I’m not around, huh?” Joel said as he entered the living area, his hair damp and his face a little pale. “What you got there, Ellie?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Esther got me this super rare t shirt. She found it in a charity shop. They clearly don’t do their research, this shirt is worth 300 dollars at least.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Don’t wear it to the damn party then, when I’m old and dying you can sell it to pay my medical bills.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie flipped him off with her less able hand, which looked odd with two missing fingers. “I’m gonna go get everything I need for the weekend. Oh, I took some whiskey, Joel.” She was upstairs before he could reply. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Joel sighed and looked at his girlfriend of two years, “Can you believe I’ve let her get away with that for four years?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What?” She chuckled as she stood up so Joel could press a scratchy kiss to her cheek, “Her flipping you off or stealing your whiskey?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Mainly the flipping off, but the whiskey too.” He laughed a little. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“How has she been anyway? She said she’d made some friends.” She said as sat down in Ellie’s usual place at the countertop. She didn’t mention Ellie’s crush incase Joel didn’t know about it, she wouldn’t want to betray her like that. If Ellie had told her about it, she was sure she would’ve informed Joel too; but she didn’t want to take the risk. She knew Ellie was very selective about who and what she revealed to people. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Joel huffed, “I’m not sure. Things have actually been better since she beat up that kid. She even asked me to restring the guitar so she can learn to play left handed. But... she had her first panic attack in months a few days ago though.” He finished with a concerned frown, set deep into his tan face. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Esther hummed in concern, “What bought that on?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Joel considered his words for a moment, his forehead wrinkled in thought, “She’s scared she’ll pick another fight and hurt someone again.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s understandable. What she went through before was pretty traumatic.” She said in a gentle tone, showing her understanding and support to her partner. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“She’s loyal, and that’s what worries me. That kid she beat up a few weeks ago, it wasn’t because he said anything to her. It was because he said something to her friend.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Loyalty is a good trait.” Esther offered. “Are </span>
  <span class="s2">you </span>
  <span class="s1">worried about her getting herself in trouble again?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He knew what she meant by trouble. She meant getting beaten bloody, injured beyond repair, losing herself in her bottled up anger. Esther been there to comfort him after Ellie’s incident, she’d seen the state of his beaten child. It had been a hard time for all of them. She had been there for Ellie almost as much as he had. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Of course I’m worried, but you know how she is, can be rather unpredictable at times. I’m just hoping all these new friends can ground her down a little more.” He ran a hand through his beard thoughtfully. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They heard Ellie coming down the stairs, so decided to change the topic. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You look pale as anything, Joel. Shall we just get take out tonight? Ellie told me your stomach hasn’t been the best recently.” She said, eyeing Joel’s pasty skin.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“If you want. Netflix and chill? Is that the saying, Ellie?” He turned to look at Ellie who was trying to contain laughter. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Um, kinda.” She muttered, not wanting to think about Joel and Esther being intimate, “It’s basically means you’re gonna watch Netflix for fifteen minutes before getting dirty. So... if that’s your plans, I’m glad I’m staying at Dina’s.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Esther laughed when Joel’s cheeks reddened, much like she’d seen Ellie’s do in the past. If she didn’t know Ellie was adopted, she’d think they were related from that action alone. That and the broody attitude they both shared. And their love for music... She could go on. They had more in common than they liked to admit. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well, erm. I’ve been telling all the guys at the construction site that I’m gonna Netflix and chill. I thought it meant... to watch netflix... and chill.” He struggled to get the words out, clearly bashful and embarrassed at his terrible knowledge of teenage slang. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh, Joel.” Esther groaned, embarrassed for her significant other, “Even I know what it means.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well,” He sniffed and puffed out his chest a little, “At least now I know.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Bet you feel like a bit of a dick now, huh?” Ellie let out a low giggle. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Just get your shoes, kid. I’ll drop you at Dina’s now, you’re gettin’ on my nerves.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Was nice to see you, Esther!” She waved as Joel shoved her through the door, “Enjoy Netflix and chill!” </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>You thought Ellie and Dina were gonna Netflix and Chill, right? Wrong. It’s Joel and Esther. People their age still ‘do it’, you know? </p><p>I have a feeling you guys will like the next chapter. It’s Joel and Esther smut (nah I’m totally kidding. Unless...?) For real though, jokes aside, I’m looking forward to posting the next chapter. </p><p>I hope you readers don’t mind having so much Joel (and other characters) in the story. I think it helps builds Ellie’s character somewhat, since she was just a foster kid in the past with no family, so I really wanted to capture her relationship with others. Promise next chapter is alllll Ellie and Dina. </p><p>I wish we had Esther in the game. In case any of you didn’t know, Esther was Joel’s girlfriend, unfortunately she didn’t make it into the game. Honestly, I imagine her to be a MILF. </p><p>And as always, thank you all for reading and being patient with me (12 chapters in and still no kiss, how long am I gonna drag it out for?). Stay safe out there my friends!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Can we talk?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dina and Ellie talk. Later, they smoke some weed and prepare for the party. Things get deep.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey, stupid.” Dina beamed as she opened the door.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie’s mouth went dry at the sight of the smaller woman. Dina was already in her sleep attire, her hair was slightly damp and pulled up into a high bun. The booty shorts she wore were fitting and showed off her gorgeous, smooth legs. The maroon tank top revealed her delicious shoulders and subtle collar bones. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie stood motionless, mouth hanging slightly agape, eyes greedily drinking in every inch of olive skin that was offered to her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie knew she was staring, but she couldn’t stop herself. Her knees were weak and her arms felt like jelly. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina cocked a brow in amusement, a smirk tugging at her lips as she witnessed those green orbs flit over her entire body. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m cold.” Dina said finally, stepping aside to give Ellie room to enter the house. The breeze outside was chilly, and they must’ve stood there in silence for at least a minute. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Huh?” Ellie replied dumbly, face flushed and ears tinted with pink. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Were you checking me out?” The dark haired woman teased, raising her brows and smirking smugly. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Nothing, weirdo. Come inside, it’s cold out here.” She watched as Ellie passed her and headed straight upstairs, towards the warmth of her bedroom. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ugh, Joel and his girlfriend are having Netflix and chill.” Ellie said as she sprawled onto Dina’s bed, flopping down onto it ungracefully. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well, that’s one way to start a conversation.” Dina chucked, sitting on the edge on the bed and resting a hand on Ellie’s knee.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m sorry, I needed to get it out of my system. The thought of them even...” She shuddered, closing her eyes, “I don’t wanna think about it.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She had heard them once; but she was not letting that enter her brain right now. The only thing her brain was registering was Dina’s touch through her jeans and sparks that jolted through her entire body. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Budge up, this is my bed you know.” Dina poked the other girl in the ribs to get her to move over. They lay silently next to each other in a content silence, until Dina spoke again, “You think they’re gonna do it on the couch?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Dina...” Ellie groaned and threw her head back again, “What the fuck is wrong with you.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina laughed and moved to rest her head on Ellie’s arm. Even through her flannel shirt, Dina could feel the warmth of her body, it almost made her sleepy. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They stared at each other longingly for what seemed like minutes, but was only a few seconds, since Ellie averted her eyes as her face started to flush. “Shall we, uh, put something on TV?” She uttered sheepishly, still feeling those warm brown orbs baring into her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Netflix?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie groaned and pushed the back of her head into the pillows, “Whatever. Just please, nothing with any sex, it’ll just make me think of Joel.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Alright weirdo, how about we watch some dumb kids cartoon?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina reluctantly moved away from Ellie’s warmth to retrieve her laptop. Despite not being able to see the auburn haired woman, she could feel her eyes burning holes into her skin. Once she located her laptop, she settled back onto the bed beside Ellie, leaning up on the headboard. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie mirrored her position, shuffling up to sit beside her, their shoulders brushing. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hands trembling slightly from nervousness and the feeling of Ellie’s side presses into hers, Dina eventually settled on Teen Titans Go, figuring Ellie would liked the cartoon because it had superheroes. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They watched a couple of episodes in a comfortable silence, Ellie occasionally grumbling something about the characters and how they weren’t actually like that in the comics. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina’s entire right side was on fire. Ellie was pressed close to her in order to see the laptop screen without craning her neck. It was like they glued together, there wasn’t a single part of her side that wasn’t touching Ellie’s somehow. Her hip was nudged against Ellie’s, her foot was brushed up against Ellie’s ankle, since she was a little shorter than the auburn haired woman. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A few more episodes passed and Dina couldn’t concentrate on anything. The warmth radiating from Ellie was borderline sleep inducing, but her mind was raging and her stomach fluttering. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Fuck. I can do this. I can’t go another second living like this. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Realising it was probably time they went to sleep anyway, Dina shut the laptop and placed it on the floor beside the bed. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was dark outside now, their only light source being the light orange glow from the lamp on the bedside cabinet.<br/></span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The pair shuffled down from the headboard so they could lay side by side, facing one another. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ellie... Can we talk about something?” Dina asked softly, the light from her lamp shining off her cheeks, illuminating her facial features. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie’s heart started to race. ‘Can we talk’ was always a bad thing, it was always serious. She didn’t know what she was scared of, but she was certainly scared. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sure,” She mumbled, shifting her head so she could look at the girl who lay comfortably on her upper arm, “Should I be worried...?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina smiled softly at her, melting Ellie’s insides, “No. I don’t think so.” She took a deep, shaky breath, “I... the party tomorrow. We’re gonna be drinking and getting high and probably doing dumb stuff.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay?” Ellie said, confused but still anxious. Where was Dina going with this? </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“And... I wanted to tell you something first, whilst I’m sober, because I’m afraid it’s gonna come out when we’re drunk.” She lifted her hand and tucked some of Ellie’s light hair behind her ear. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay.” Ellie replied nervously, still not getting at what Dina was trying to tell her. She was too anxious to appreciate Dina sifting her hair behind her ear. Usually the short woman’s touch set her skin alight, but right now it only contributed to the nervousness that gurgled in her stomach. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I... really like someone. And I’m pretty sure they like me too, but I’m scared of their reaction if I make a move. They’re timid and shy, but I know how I feel about them.” Dina said finally, not taking her eyes off of Ellie’s eyes or the light freckles beneath them. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay...” </span>
  <span class="s2">
    <em>She likes someone, fuck. You’ve been pining over her for months and now she’s asking you for advice. Fuck. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Can you say anything that isn’t ‘okay’ right now?” Dina chuckled lightly, despite the air of tension and seriousness that surrounded them like a thick, dense fog. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I think... I think you should make a move. Whoever this person is, they’ll be lucky to have you.” She saw admiration in Dina’s dark eyes, her soft smile, she felt the hand still lingering on her cheek. It all made the words so much harder to come out. “But I guess it’s best to do whilst sober.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie glanced down at Dina’s lips, eyes tracing over every intricate, beautiful detail of her face. Her heart was racing, Dina’s touch burning her in the best possible way. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina’s silence not only made her anxious but also... something she couldn’t put her finger on. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>What if... what if it’s me? </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Dina...” She breathed out shakily, finding the courage to rest her large hand on Dina’s waist. Suddenly, she couldn’t remember what she wanted to say next, her mind was blank, save for Dina’s gentle touch sending electric shocks through her muscles. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She couldn’t think of words, couldn’t urge her mouth to move or say anything. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">So she did what her heart had been telling her to do for months. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They locked eyes for a few more moments, Dina lifting herself onto her elbow, concerned with Ellie’s silence. “Ellie?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie removed her hand from Dina’s waist and relocated it to Dina’s face, cupping her cheek as she leant forward, crashing her lips to Dina’s.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina was shocked for a short moment before melting into the kiss, her dainty hands lacing into Ellie’s short hair. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie took that as her cue to deepen the kiss, gently running her tongue across Dina’s bottom lip before taking it between her teeth, making Dina’s breath hitch. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina’s mind was blown, unable to comprehend anything but Ellie’s lips on hers, and the hand that gently cupped her cheek. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A few moments later Ellie pulled away, and Dina missed the lack of contact already. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fuck.” Ellie exclaimed suddenly, “I-I’m sorry Dina, I didn’t, I wasn’t...” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She couldn’t finish because Dina had pulled her face back to hers, this time Dina’s lips crashing into her own in a desperate kiss. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Before she knew it, Dina was on top of her, straddling her hips as she leant down to kiss the taller woman. Some of her hair had fallen from her bun, framing her face in a way that sent Ellie’s heart into overdrive. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie sat up, gently guiding Dina up with her, before wrapping a strong arm around Dina’s waist and placing her less abled hand at the back of head. She felt dizzy, unable to comprehend that she’d kissed Dina, and Dina had kissed her back with even more passion.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ellie...” Dina murmured against her lips as she rocked her hips without thought, “Fuck.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Any nervousness the auburn haired girl had ever felt around Dina just washed away, like a tsunami crashing through an open valley. She bit down on Dina’s lip once more, earning a delighted groan, before flipping them over so Dina could lay beneath her. Ellie instinctively pushed her thigh between Dina’s legs, causing the woman beneath her to release a low, short moan. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie broke the kiss for a few moments, meeting Dina’s glazed, dark eyes. She watched as Dina bit her lip in anticipation of what was coming next. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The look of </span>
  <span class="s2">want </span>
  <span class="s1">sent sparks through Ellie’s body, making her arms tremble as she leant over the dark haired woman. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Breathing heavily, the reality of the situation hit her. They’d been kissing, now Dina is beneath her with lust in her gorgeous eyes whilst her nails raked gently across Ellie’s neck. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">This was wrong. Ellie could feel her breath quickening, chest becoming tighter because Dina was </span>
  <span class="s2">
    <em>right there </em>
  </span>
  <span class="s1">beneath her with lustful eyes. She couldn’t help but feel she was taking advantage of her friend, even though said friend had basically just confessed her feelings to her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I think...” Ellie said breathlessly, “I think we should stop. Stop before we go too far.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina stroked her fingertips down Ellie’s forearm, clipped fingernails grazing over the thin skin of the underside of Ellie’s wrist, “Are you sure?” She said gently, warm, brown eyes meeting forest green. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I... </span>
  <span class="s2">fuck, </span>
  <span class="s1">I want to, but I don’t think we should. Not right now.” Oh how she wanted to, how she wanted to feel Dina writhe and squirm beneath her. To hear her name through Dina’s gasps and moans. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina rested her hands on Ellie’s shoulders, rubbing them with her thumbs, “Okay. We can stop.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie rolled off of her, eventually coming to lie down next to her, breathing still erratic and heart still thumping against her rib cage, “That was...” She struggled to find the words. </span>
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Amazing, life altering, incredible. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fucking hot.” Dina let out a breathy laugh. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie smiled bashfully, not caring how disheveled she must look, “So... you <em>were</em> talking about me, right?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina laughed, loud and cheerful, warming Ellie’s insides, “Yes, you dumbass.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well, I guess it saves the conversation of me telling you I’m gay.” Ellie chuckled as she twisted a lock of Dina’s hair around her finger. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ellie, I knew you were fucking gay before I even spoke to you.” Dina laughed, playfully nudging Ellie’s shoulder.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You did?” She asked cluelessly. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You seem genuinely shocked. My gaydar is brilliant, okay. Yours is faulty, I think.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Shut up.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s true. I’ve been flirting with you for months and you were so damn oblivious.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie groaned, “Seriously?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The other girl giggled, her fingers drawing shapes over Ellie’s bicep, “Yep. You can be kinda dumb, a lot of the time.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So dumb that you still wanted to kiss me?” Ellie teased, flicking Dina’s nose gently. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m attracted to dumb people, okay? I was on and off with Jesse for a long time and he’s only half as dumb as you.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay, I get the point, I’m dumb.” Ellie laughed as Dina started to giggle more.<br/></span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When their giggles subsided, they took a few moments to admire each other in silence. The mutual smiles never left their lips, even for a second. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Not to ruin the moment or anything, but I do have to talk about something with you.” Dina said, her tone half serious but still relaxed as she lay comfortably with Ellie. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Erm, okay?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So obviously the guys are coming tomorrow and we’re all gonna be drunk before we even get to the party... Do you think we should tell them about your hand? I don’t want one of them noticing it whilst they’re pissed and making you uncomfortable.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2"><em>She has a point</em>, </span>
  <span class="s1">Ellie thought as she stared into Dina’s intense eyes, still glazed over with arousal after their intense kiss. “I guess you’re right,” She sighed, chewing on the inside of her cheek, “I think it’ll be better coming from you, though. Might be a bit weird if I just come out with it randomly after only being friends with them for a week.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina nodded her head, reaching out to hold Ellie’s deformed hand, “Okay, if you’re comfortable with that. Just go for a long bathroom break or something when they get here, give me enough time to explain it. I won’t tell them the full story, I’ll just say that it’s not my place to tell. They won’t care anyway, they love you.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie twisted her mouth at the uncomfortable thought of her new friends gawking at her mutilated hand; but she knew Dina was right, she’d have to tell them. “Okay. I trust you.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina replied with a warm smile, before propping herself up on her elbow and leaning in to give Ellie a small kiss. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So, is this a </span>
  <span class="s2">thing </span>
  <span class="s1">now?” Dina smirked as she pulled away, but only by a few mere inches. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I don’t know,” Ellie leaned forward so her lips were barely brushing Dina’s, making the other girl squirm at the closeness and Ellie’s sudden confidence, “Do you want it to be?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina couldn’t help but spare a glance down at Ellie’s lips, which were just barely brushing her own. “I... uh...” Dina just couldn’t formulate words, her mind turning to mush. She could practically feel Ellie smirking against her lips, even though they weren’t even kissing; yet. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She felt just like Ellie did when Dina would flirt; a stumbling mess. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re taking a while to answer...” Ellie whispered, eyes staring deep into Dina’s. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Just fucking kiss me.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">———————</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Are you excited for the party? You seem much happier and less broody than usual.” Dina teased as she handed Ellie the smoking joint. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie laughed as she took a long drag, “Not really. But I kissed the girl I’ve been crushing on for months last night, so yeah, I’m feeling pretty good.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Is she pretty?” Dina said flirtatiously, learning her head into her hand, elbow firmly planted on the arm of the deckchair. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Very.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So... how would you rate our kiss from last night?” She took a slow, long drag from the roll up. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Which one?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina laughed, almost coughing as the smoke slipped through her lungs a little too quickly, “Any. All of it.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I don’t think I have enough fingers to rate it.” She sheepishly held up her hands, displaying her eight fingers. “What about you?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina hummed, taking another smooth drag, “A six maybe?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie sneered at her, “A six? For real?” She leant forward and snatched the blazing roll up from Dina’s hand.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I mean, yeah, the window was open, it was kinda cold, you had a really annoying bit of hair that kept tickling my face.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie scoffed, “But a fucking six, really? After I just gave you an eight because that’s the best I can offer?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina burst out laughing suddenly; the weed was getting her to the giggle stage. “I’m fucking kidding.” She wheezed between her laughs, hand coming up to her chest as it heaved from laughing so hard. “You should’ve seen your face.” She wiped a tear from under her eye and jolted a few times, trying to fight off the laughter. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You definitely didn’t act like it was a six.” Ellie teased, leaning forward a little.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina’s hazy mind rewinded to the previous night. Straddling Ellie before being tossed beneath the taller girl, groaning as Ellie pushed her thigh </span>
  <span class="s2"><em>hard</em> </span>
  <span class="s1">between her legs. Ellie’s unmistakable scent filling her nose when she bit down on Dina’s lip.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie seemed to notice her little daydream, laughing softly whilst leaning forward. “You’re thinking about it, aren’t you?” She whispered huskily, green orbs flitting down to those inviting lips. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina fucking loved Ellie when she got confident. She loved nervous and dumb Ellie too, but confident and daring Ellie was fucking sexy, leaving Dina stuttering and fumbling. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I am.” She said shakily, completely captivated by the girl sat opposite her, who was so close to her now, their noses almost touching. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Don’t we have to get ready now? The guys will be over in an hour.” Ellie leant back in her seat, smirking and looking <em>so fucking smug. </em></span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re infuriating, Ellie. That was just unfair.” She whined, stubbing out the spliff. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You do. That was really nasty, getting me all worked up like that and then just looking smug about it.” Dina frowned as she pushed herself out of the deckchair and walked into the kitchen through the patio doors. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie followed her, not bothering to shut the door. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina squealed from surprise as Ellie pushed up her up against the kitchen counter, her large hands on both sides of Dina, trapping her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina felt a rush of heat go through her, amplified by the weed that was still buzzing her head. She looked into Ellie’s mischievous eyes, and then at her lips, where a smirk was presenting itself. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You want to do it again, don’t you?” Ellie whispered, her lips barely brushing Dina’s. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina’s brain was on snooze, and it wasn’t the weed. She couldn’t think of any words; all she could comprehend was Ellie’s face centimetres from her own. She leaned up and pulled Ellie into a crushing kiss, one hand around the back of her neck and the other on her cheek.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie moved her hands from the countertopand bought them to Dina’s waist, thumbs digging into soft hipbones. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The kiss was dizzying, as hungry as their first kiss the night before had been, and Dina couldn’t focus on one single thing but Ellie’s warm body pressing into her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina let out a soft moan when Ellie’s teeth found her bottom lip. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The hand on Ellie’s neck moved upwards to lace through Ellie’s hair, which was still slightly damp from her shower. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Before Dina even knew it, Ellie broke the kiss and hoisted the smaller girl onto the countertop. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Their eyes never left the others, and Dina felt her heart rush with excitement, arousal setting deep in her stomach as Ellie but her hands behind Dina’s knees and dragged her forward so she could stand against her, abdomen pressing between Dina’s legs. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fuck,” She didn’t mean for the curse to slip through her lips, but she couldn’t help it. Ellie was pressed flush against her, her large hands splayed over her thighs, thumbs just barely skimming over her inner thighs. If she wasn’t wet before, she certainly was now. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina grabbed Ellie by the face and pulled her in for another searing kiss. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It must’ve been a minute or so of them getting lost in each other; but time felt so strange, as if the world had stopped. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie hissed in a small breath when Dina tugged on her hair, the action seemingly uncontrollable. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie pulled Dina impossibly closer, roughly tugging her by the backs of her knees. Dina moaned quietly at the action, instinctively wrapping her slim legs around Ellie’s waist, earning a satisfactory groan from the taller woman. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina could feel Ellie’s slim fingers skimming over the skin of her hip, where her tight fitting shirt was risen up. It sent sparks through her entire body, to one area specifically. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Suddenly, a loud ringtone and the hum of a phone vibration sounded, making both of them jump. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ugh, it’s Joel. I better get it.” Ellie groaned, voice somewhat hoarse and breathless. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina groaned out of pure disappointment, leaning forward to rest her head on a shoulder and wrapping her arms around Ellie’s waist to hold her in place. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Joel.” She answered the phone, not bothering to hide the irritation in her voice. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina could just about make out Joel’s voice, but couldn’t really hear what he was saying. His voice sounded even deeper on the phone, it was a miracle that Ellie could even understand him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No, Joel, I don’t know where your jeans are.” Ellie said in a low, clipped tone. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">More quiet chatter from the phone. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Joel you just fucking called me to ask about your jeans, why don’t you ask Esther? Why the hell would I know where they are?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina giggled, nuzzling her nose into Ellie’s neck. Even after using Dina’s shower products, Ellie’s distinct scent was still present. </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Feeling mischievous, Dina started to press soft kisses to the warmth of Ellie’s neck. Her kisses turned into smirks when she felt Ellie’s grip on her thigh tighten. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No, I’m sure I haven’t seen them. You probably left them at Esther’s.” Ellie’s voice was so monotone right now, it made Dina laugh. She could tell Ellie was fucking livid at being interrupted. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m going, Joel. Bye.” Ellie hung up the phone with a sigh before tossing it onto the counter. She returned her hands to Dina’s waist and gave her a warm smile, “What an asshole.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina giggled, unwrapping her arms from Ellie’s waist and placing them over Ellie’s shoulders again, “Now, where were we?” Dina leaned in, her lips centimetres away from Ellie’s before... </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <b>BANG BANG BANG </b>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina released a loud, aggressive groan, her head falling to Ellie’s shoulder. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me...” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <b>BANG BANG BANG </b>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yo, Dina!” It was Jesse’s unmistakable voice. Even through the front door and hallway, it was loud and booming. “Let us in! We have booze!” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie gave her a warm, heart melting smile before pressing a lingering kiss to Dina’s inviting lips. “Better go get that.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina released her koala like grip on Ellie and hopped off the counter, straightening out her clothes and fixing her hair as she got the door. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">She needed to shower again; preferably a cold one. A very fucking cold one. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Okay, so before I get into chatting and all that... I want to say a MASSIVE, HUGE thank you to IamTheAnon. They have drawn a comic of Ellie &amp; Joel’s first meeting, where she throws the water bottle at him. They’ve linked it in the comments, so please check it out! Thank you so much, I am smiling so hard. </p><p>Onto the next point, IamTheAnon is upset they can’t contact me :( so, I’ve made a tumblr. The name is bighandsghostfingers, so if any of you want a chat or whatever, hit me up! </p><p>So now that’s all outta the way... It only took 13 chapters, but we have a kiss. I never planned it to go this way, but like I keep saying - I didn’t write the story, it wrote itself. I hope you’ve all enjoyed it so far, and as always, thank you all so much for the support. Every comment and kudos makes my day, honestly.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. it’s you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>WARNING: There is an attempted assault later in the chapter (promise it’s not graphic whatsoever, just a drunk dude not taking no for an answer). Chapter also contains underage drinking, some violence, and slight mentions towards trauma/PTSD. </p><p>Actual chapter summary; </p><p>Ellie is trying; she’s trying to be better. But an asshole who won’t take no for answer tips her over the edge. ALSO, Dina struggles to accept she’s a fuckin bottom. But she’s also a 10/10 girlfriend, just saying.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1"><span class="s1">Dina opened the door and put on her best smile to mask the disappointment of being interrupted, </span> <span class="s2"><em>twice</em>. </span> <span class="s1">It was infuriating; she was pissed off, sweating, and her underwear was sticking to her uncomfortably. </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Let’s get this party started!” Ollie bellowed as he pushed past Dina, a crate of beer in his hands. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jesse was next in, also carrying his own crate of beer, unusually energetic and thrumming with excitement. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Emily followed, holding two bottles of their favourite wine, a bottle of spirits shoved under her armpit. “Hey, Dina!” She flashed her a toothy grin as she passed her to get to the kitchen. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina slammed the door shut. They were early. Half an hour early. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Half. An. Hour. Fucking. Early. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">She needed a drink, like, ASAP. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The dark haired girl followed her friends into the kitchen, putting on her best smile. Her body begged to be back in Ellie’s arms, those soft lips crushing her own and those strong hands caressing her waist. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2"><em>Fuck</em>. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ollie, Jesse and Ellie were already cracking open their beer cans, whilst Emily was sifting through the utensils drawer looking for a corker. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Half an hour passed quickly, the five of them drinking their alcohol and laughing as they chatted about school and the usual teenager stuff. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie excused herself to go and get changed out of her loungewear (which Dina swore was mostly Ellie’s daily outfits anyway, but whatever). Ellie gave Dina a wink as she walked past.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The uncharacteristic wink sent a shiver through her body, reminding her that she still needed to change her fucking underwear. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Despite the heavy haze that corrupted her mind, Dina supposed this was her chance to let her friends know about Ellie’s injury. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey guys, calm down for second,” She spoke specifically to Jesse and Ollie who were currently arm wrestling at the corner of the countertop, “I need to talk to you guys about something.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Is everything okay?” Emily asked, concern evident in her voice. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah, yeah everything’s cool, just need to tell you something really quick. It’s not bad, I promise.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay, spit it out then.” Said Ollie as he cracked open his fourth can of the evening. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay, so, I wanted to say this whilst we’re all relatively sober,” She side-eyed Ollie, who was sipping quietly from his beer, “It’s about Ellie. She has a noticeable injury, well, past injury that she can be a little insecure about. So, if you guys see it, please don’t say anything about it. Just treat her as normal.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“I haven’t seen anything, so it can’t be </span> <span class="s2"><em>that</em> </span> <span class="s1">noticeable can it?” Ollie replied, setting his half drunk can on the counter. Sometimes Dina wished he wasn’t so forward and blunt, and to let things sit instead of commenting. It wasn’t that he was inconsiderate, she knew that, but he could be a little <em>too</em> blunt at times. Some things were better left ambiguous; <em>this</em> was one of those times. </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I haven’t seen anything either.” Jesse agreed, shrugging his shoulders. “Doesn’t matter though, Ellie is Ellie. She’s cool.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina smiled at Jesse’s loyalty and respect for his friends. Her ex had a lot of amazing qualities about him, but his acceptance and loyalty towards the people he loved was incredibly admirable. She would always love him for that. “Just... you’ll know if you see it.” She finished awkwardly, conscious that this Ellie’s story to tell, not her own. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Can’t you just tell us?” Ollie asked, “I mean we’re all friends and everything. I’m sure we wouldn’t think any different of her.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina twisted her mouth, the thought of telling them flashing through her mind for a split second. When Ellie had told her she’d been in tears and spiralling in self loathing. Dina knew Ellie wouldn’t be able to find it in herself to tell her friends head on, but it was Ellie’s decision at the end of the day; Dina wouldn’t betray her like that. “I would, but it’s not my place. She doesn’t like talking about it, which is why I’m doing it for her.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay. Kinda intrigued but like you say, it’s not our business unless Ellie wants it to be.” Emily smiled warmly at her before turning back to the guys, “Also we need some music, get a vibe going.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie was back a few seconds later, shuffling past the two lads as they scuffled over the aux cord. “What did I miss?” She commented as she avoided an elbow that nearly jabbed into her ribs. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Emily sipped her wine and pointed at them, “Oh, those two? Scrapping over the cable. They listen to the same music anyway so I really don’t see why it matters.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina chuckled, glancing over at them, “Must be trying to prove their dominance or something. Fuckin’ weirdos.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Drum and bass music hummed in the background now, as well as a few old 00’s iconic tunes. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They were well into the predrinks now, all tipsy and shouting over each other. They’d set up beer pong over the island countertop in the kitchen, first round was Ellie VS Jesse. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Come to the bathroom with me? I need to talk to you.” Dina whispered into Emily’s ear. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The blonde just raised a brow and followed her, wine still in hand. “Just going to the bathroom guys!” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina slammed the door shut behind them when they entered the bathroom. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Emily grimaced suddenly, “Ew, Ollie left the toilet seat up.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Me and Ellie kissed.” Dina’s blurted out suddenly, looking Emily straight in the facewith wild eyes. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Excitement spread across the blondes face, “Really? When?! How was it?!” She squealed giddily, like a child being told they were going to Disneyland. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“Last night, in my bed. It was fucking amazing and now I can’t stop thinking about it.” It was word vomit. She couldn’t stop the words from falling out of her mouth. Dina didn’t even think it was the alcohol, she just needed to speak to someone about it; and of course, Jesse and Ollie were out of the question, </span> <span class="s2">especially </span> <span class="s1">Jesse. “We almost had sex. Twice.” Well, it was out there now. She hadn’t really planned to tell Emily in this way, but her brain had other ideas, clearly. </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Holy shit... What stopped you?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We both just agreed we should probably stop before it went too far.” She twisted and fiddled with her fingers, a habit she had no doubt picked up from a certain freckled, auburn haired girl. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The dark haired woman had never had a nervous habit in her entire life. She’d never bit her nails or chewed her lips (Ellie was guilty of both). Dina didn’t do nervousness; not unless Ellie was involved, apparently. <br/></span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Emily passed Dina the glass of wine, “Drink this. You’re going a little crazy again.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The dark haired girl gratefully accepted, downing the entire glass before handing it back to Emily in three seconds flat. “I needed that.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Emily spared a glance down at the empty glass before looking back to Dina as she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, “So, are you guys dating now or...?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina sighed and sat on the edge of the bath, “I don’t know. We’ve been flirting all day and we kissed again today. More than a kiss but not enough for it to be like, R rated.” She smiled at the memory of Ellie pressing her against the counter, making her tremble as Ellie forcefully tugged her closer. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“Kinda sounds like you’re dating, or you’re </span> <span class="s2"><em>really</em> </span> <span class="s1">serious friends with benefits. But if you both agreed to stop before it went any further, that says to me that you’d both rather wait a while first.” Emily said dotingly, cocking her head a little and smiling, “That’s actually kinda sweet.” </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina huffed, folding and unfolding her arms, another stupid habit she’d apparently inherited from Ellie. “We both want it. We’ve both admitted that to each other. But I do think it’s better we wait a bit. It’s just fucking hard; like, really fucking hard.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“She’s a good kisser, I take it?” Emily smirked, wearing her smug face that she knew Dina hated. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Stop making that face, you know it makes me feel weird.” She swatted the blondes shoulder, “But um, yeah.” She scratched the back of her neck, feeling her cheeks heating up. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Emily let loose a loud laugh, “Someone making </span> <span class="s2"><em>you</em> </span> <span class="s1">blush? Wow, Ellie must be one hell of a girl, I’ve never seen you so smitten over anyone.” </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s just different with her, I don’t know how to describe it. I feel like I know everything about her and then she just surprises me with the next thing she does.” She couldn’t help the fondness that leaked into her voice. Thinking or talking about the forest eyed girl made her giddy, like a lovesick puppy. It was kind of pathetic, she knew it; but truthfully, she did not give a single fuck. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What do you mean? I’m kinda like, tipsy so I think I might need an example.” A sheepish smile presented on the blondes face. Dina suspected that there was an underlying, sly prompt within her words. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina couldn’t help the smile that crept onto her face as she spoke; “Well, put it this way. Ellie is a fumbling mess half of the time I’m with her, but Jesus does she take control of a situation.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Emily’s blue eyes widened in realisation, “</span> <span class="s2"><em>Oh</em>. </span> <span class="s1">So it’s a ‘shy in the streets, naughty in the sheets’ kinda deal?” </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I wouldn’t know exactly, saying that we haven’t done it yet, but I think so. It’s fucking hot.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Emily chuckled again, giving Dina a look, “You need to go change your underwear or something?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina gave her a look of slight embarrassment, “I already have. Twice.” She winced at her own words. Dina was an open book, wasn’t uncomfortable talking about sex, but openly admitting that Ellie had so much sexual power over her was just a tad embarrassing. Even more embarrassing that they’d only kissed for the first time the previous night. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well.” Emily was stuck for words; she’d always known Dina to be the one who called the shots, the one who was more dominant over her partners. Dina, open and honest as ever, had told Emily that herself; it also shined through in her confident personality and flirtatious nature. So to see another person making Dina turn into a fumbling mess, it was a surprise to her. “I didn’t need to know that little detail. But uhh, I’m happy for you both. Really.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Thanks, Em.” Dina stood up and gave her a quick hug. “Sorry I was so... graphic. I’ve just never felt like this before.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Emily rubbed her shoulder, “Don’t worry about, D. Always here if you wanna talk, if you need some advice about being bottom.” She joked, her smirk turning to a full belly laugh as she saw Dina’s sneer. “What? No need to be embarrassed. Personally, I just like being told what to do. I know that’s not really what you’re into, you like being boss, but the way you talk about Ellie makes me think that you’re enjoying being controlled.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina rolled her eyes and scoffed, crossing her arms over chest and cocking her hip, “Controlled? Hardly. Just... I don’t know, it’s different to what I’m used to. But I, uhm, I’m not complaining.” Her neck felt extremely warm. She hoped Emily wouldn’t notice. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Emily rolled her eyes in return, “We should probably go back down, they’ll be wondering where the hell we’ve gone.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The dark haired girl pursed her lips, “You’re right.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They made it back to the kitchen, where Ellie could be seen downing whatever the hell was in one of the red beer pong cups. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Emily stopped suddenly in the doorway, her eyes focussed on something that Dina wasn’t seeing. “Oh. I see what you mean.” The blonde said quietly. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina gave her a confused glance before noticing that Ellie had been drinking using her less abled hand. The alcohol must’ve hit her already. She turned back to Emily, “See why I wanted to warn you guys first?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Emily nodded, tearing her eyes away from Ellie’s maimed hand, not wanting to be disrespectful by staring, even if Ellie wasn’t really paying attention to them. “I definitely didn’t expect that. She hides it really well.” She said quietly, but loud enough for Dina to hear over the cheering coming from Ellie and Ollie as Jesse was forced to down his drink. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah, just don’t say anything about it to her okay? She trusts you guys but it’s understandable why she doesn’t have it out on show.” Dina replied, sparing a glance of her own at Ellie’s hand, as if she hadn’t seen it dozens of times before. Sometimes when her eyes lingered on the injury, her chest would constrict. She wished she could take Ellie’s pain away. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I won’t, don’t worry.” Emily whispered back before going to refill her glass. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The dark haired girl took that as her cue to go and join the others at the island counter, where Ellie had just bounced the ball into Jesse’s final cup. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ollie and Ellie both raised their arms and started cheering, leaving a defeated Jesse jokingly crying whilst slumped onto the countertop. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“How’s it feel to be beat by a girl, Jesse?” Ellie mocked, “Drink up buddy. Hope you like whiskey mixed with vodka and tequila. And green tea.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina grimaced; that sounded fucking vile. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re just like a boy, Ellie. So competitive.” Dina mumbled as she took Ellie’s whiskey from her hand and sipped from it. Her murky orbs never left Ellie’s as the liquid slid down her throat. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie frowned at her, snatching the glass back from her. There was redness on her cheeks. “Since when did you drink whiskey, anyway?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina shrugged, trying not stare at Ellie’s lips or the freckles dusted across her tinted cheeks, “Gotta be in the mood for it.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Don’t wanna mix your drinks too much, the hangover will be awful.” Ellie shuddered, the thought of the impending hangover on her mind. She was having a good time though, so fuck it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina shoved her shoulder, “What do you know about mixing drinks anyway? I don’t think you’ve ever even been to a party before today.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The auburn haired girl shook her head and let out a humourless laugh, “I haven’t;but in foster home number 5, one of the kids would sneak out every Friday to get wrecked on a park with these older kids he’d met somewhere. He’d drink whatever he could get his hands on, and he looked like absolute shit the next day.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well, thanks for looking out for me. Aren’t you a sweetie.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina was met with an adorable lopsided grin, “Only for you.” Ellie replied, confident but a little bashful, evident from the redness in her cheeks. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Shouldn’t we be heading off the party soon?” Jesse asked, stacking up the empty cups in order to clear up a bit. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Let me finish up my drink then let’s go.” Ollie replied, moving to help Jesse tidy the countertop. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina looked into Ellie’s eyes, “You still sure about this party?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie nodded, “Little nervous, but you’ll be there so I’m sure I’ll be fine.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina smiled sweetly at her, appreciative of Ellie’s effort to do something out of her comfort zone. “You drunk yet?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Little bit.” Ellie replied as she lifted her less able hand to finish off the whiskey. “You?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina could smell the scent of whiskey on Ellie’s breath and it was intoxicating; sending her back to be being pinned underneath the other girl in her bed the night before. “Little bit.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina let her eyes wash over Ellie’s face and body, eventually letting them sit on Ellie’s left arm, where her sleeve had been rolled up, “You sure about this?” It was an awkward question to ask, but she needed to know Ellie would be okay with jumping even further from her comfort zone. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie’s green eyes trailed down to her hand, palm facing upwards. “I mean... I’ve can’t hide it forever. I’ve skipped every gym class since starting at Jackson because I was too scared for the reaction.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina hummed, placing her hand in Ellie’s, “I’m proud of you. Maybe all you needed was a little alcohol? Little bit of liquid confidence?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie smiled, her eyes admiring and warm, “It’s not the alcohol. It’s you.” She squeezed Dina’s hand as best she could with her three digits, “You were kind and respectful about it since the start. If other people aren’t, then it doesn’t matter, because I know I have you, and you don’t care about it. And I’m fairly certain these guys don’t either,” she nodded her head towards their friends, who were all downing as much as their booze as possible before they left for the party, “So what’s to worry about?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina’s heart swelled, from being appreciated and for how far Ellie had come since the start of their friendship. She was glad to see Ellie slowly moving on from something that had been extremely traumatic for her. “I’m proud of you, you goofball.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina wanted to kiss her so badly right now. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Thanks. Anyway... should we get going?” Ellie suggested, pulling her hand away to adjust her jacket. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sounds like a plan.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">————————-</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They arrived to the party at 9:15pm, and things were already in full swing, considering how early it was. There were undoubtably still more guests coming, too. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Drum and base music shook the house, the bass humming in the background as Dina lead Ellie through the crowds by the hand. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jesse, Ollie and Emily had gone off to meet some of their old school mates who’d graduated the year before. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Where are we going?” Ellie yelled over the music. She was glad she’d already had a decent amount to drink; sober Ellie would never cope this well in a bustling crowd. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Dance floor!” Dina shouted back enthusiastically, “You do know how to dance, right?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No!” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina stopped in the middle a herd of pissed up, dancing teens, most holding their drinks above their heads as they bobbed and danced to the music. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina laughed suddenly, “I’m only kidding. You don’t need to know the entire cha-cha slide or anything.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie would’ve sighed, but Dina wouldn’t have been able to hear it over the thumping music so she bit it down. “You love putting me in uncomfortable positions, don’t you?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina moved with the music, tipping her head back as she took a long swig from her drink, “Yes. But I also love the positions you’ve had me in these past couple days.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Ellie felt a familiar heat stir within her, as well as the stupid blush that cropped up every time Dina flirted with her. But the alcohol and the memory of </span> <span class="s2">putting </span> <span class="s1">Dina in those positions fuelled her with some of that sweet confidence. She leant forward, brushing her cheek across Dina’s as she spoke into her ear, “You carry on flirting like that, see where it gets you.” </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina felt her knees go weak at the thought of Ellie’s weight pressing down on her, “Is that a threat, Ellie?” She challenged flirtatiously, biting her lip slightly. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Depends, are you scared?” Ellie whispered huskily in her ear, making Dina shudder with anticipation and want. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Very scared. Scared of your dancing, or lack of.” She smirked, reaching out to shake Ellie’s shoulder to get her to move around a bit. “Loosen up, Ellie.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The song changed and the entire house seemed to cheer, it was an old 00’s club banger. Dina moved closer to Ellie, encouraging the taller girl to actually start moving instead of standing there clutching her drink like a statue. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Eventually, they did dance together. Laughing at each other’s moves, spilling droplets of their drinks when they bumped into each other. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The alcohol had certainly set in now, both of them feeling the dizzying effects. “I’m gonna go find a bathroom!” Dina yelled into her ear, making Ellie wince a bit as he eardrum started to vibrate uncomfortably. “You go stand in that corner so I can find you easily when I get back!” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie nodded as Dina started to squeeze her way through the crowd, ducking to avoid flailing arms and drink spillages.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie managed to make it to the edge of the room, standing against a wall with her empty cup in hand. She decided she’d just people watch for a bit, since the words on her phone were becoming a little difficult to read now; no doubt the alcohol. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She failed to bite back a smile when a dancing couple accidentally head butted each other, both rebounding in the opposite direction and knocking into other teens. Their embarrassed but sincere apologies to each other made Ellie chuckle, it was actually kind of sweet.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jesus, she was getting soft. Dina was really having an affect on her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Bet you know how to please a lady with those.” An unknown voice said to her. Ellie followed the direction of the voice and found an attractive Asian woman with tattoos on her arms, as well as a chest piece peaking out from the low collar of her shirt. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie cocked a brow, confused, “Uh, come again?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Two’s all you need.” The woman flirtatiously winked at the taller girl and reached forward and tapped Ellie’s left wrist, the one holding her empty cup. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh.” She stammered, thinking of what to say. She wasn’t used to strangers, or anyone for that matter really, questioning her injury; especially a good looking woman who was eying her up. “I mean, actually, I can’t do much at all with them, you see the tendons were damaged so they’re kinda useless and my grip sucks. I can barely hold my drink.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Why the fuck did she just say that? What the actual fuck? </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re cute. I’m Cat. And your name?” She smirked flirtatiously again, not that Ellie picked up on it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Of course, to Ellie it was just some girl who came over and spoke to her because she was alone, intrigued by her gross hand. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ellie.” She said just loud enough for Cat to hear over the music and shouts from the crowd.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I like your tattoo, how long have you had it?” Cat reached out and brushed her fingertips over it, making Ellie want to shy away, but the alcohol numbed her brain, pressing down her usual anxiousness. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“About a year. Yours are cool too.” She tried to be nice, after all this girl had come over and spoken to her so she wouldn’t be alone whilst she waited for Dina. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Thanks, I’m actually training as an apprentice at the minute. You’d be a fun person to practice on...” Cat trailed off, skimming her fingers over Ellie’s toned forearm again.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It took all of her willpower to not cringe at the touch. When it was Dina’s fingers on her skin, she leant into the touch; Cat’s made her want to shy away. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Suddenly, a different body pressed into her side and a drink was thrust into her hand, “Hey, babe, sorry I took so long.” It was Dina, who wasted no time pressing a kiss to Ellie’s cheek. Dina’s voice sounded like it had a very large helping of... jealousy? </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The two girls watched as the smaller woman mumbled something under her breath before turning and disappearing into the sea of dancing bodies. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“She was flirting with you.” Dina said loudly in her ear, “I had to get her away. I would say you’re too nice to tell her to go away, but you’re so fucking dumb you didn’t even realise she was flirting.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie ignored the insult and gave her an unimpressed look, “Jealously doesn’t suit you, Dina.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina laughed and took a long swig from her cup, “I didn’t want anyone stealing you away from me.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A small broke out onto Ellie’s face, “You don’t have to worry about that. I only have eyes for you, you asshole.” </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Are you into that stuff?” <br/></span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">”What stuff-“ </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The song changed and Dina grimaced, her face scrunching up as if she’d just been hit with the foulest smelling cheese in the world, “I hate this fucking song, let’s go find the guys.” She grabbed the taller girl by her hand and lead her through the bustling bodies once again. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They eventually made it outside to the hosts garden, where kids were stood in small groups, smoking or vaping. There was even a pool outside, but the night was too cold for swimming. There were empty red cups floating in the small ripples of the water. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie was glad for some fresh air and room to breath. The music wasn’t as loud either, which was the biggest bonus of all. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They located their friends at the other side of the pool, near a marquee that had a makeshift bar set up inside. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey guyysss,” Emily slurred as she stumbled forward to wrap her arms around both of their necks, dragging them down to her height as she all but strangled them, “Where did you get off to?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina pushed Emily off of them when her weight had started to slump a bit, “Just around, caught some chick trying it on with Ellie. She was moved along quickly.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“She wasn’t even flirting with me...” Ellie mumbled, but she wasn’t sure that Dina even heard it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jesse and Ollie were drunkenly playing table tennis, ignoring the actual rules of the game, but it looked like they were having fun. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A girl with red hair was standing beside Ollie, clutching both of their drinks as she cheered him on. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Who’s that?” Dina asked, nodding her head to the girl. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Just some girl he made out with like, 7 minutes ago.” Emily laughed, flinging her empty cup into the pool. She turned back to Ellie and Dina, “Speaking of making out, are you two like, official yet?” She motioned down to their entwined hands. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie just let Dina do the talking, because this was definitely not her strong suit. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ummm, kinda? I don’t, I don’t know...” Dina glanced at her sheepishly, Ellie feeling her cheeks heating up too. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Emily joyfully wrapped her arms around both of their necks again and yanked them down excitedly, “You two are so fucking cute!” She squealed into Ellie’s ear, earning a wince from the taller girl. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Thanks?” Ellie managed to speak, but it came out a little hoarse because of Emily’s arm constricting her neck. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“And you,” Emily pulled back and poked Ellie’s chest with her finger, “Better look after her, okay?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie nodded, a bit unsure of what to say. It wasn’t like she had plans to launch Dina down the stairs or anything. “I will.” She stated finally, giving the blonde a lob sided smile. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Good!” She yawped drunkenly, moving to snatch Ellie’s drink from her hand, taking a large gulp before Ellie could even protest it. “I see why Dina likes you, you’re actually kinda cute. Weird and nerdy, but sweet.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Umm,” Ellie started awkwardly, “Thanks? I guess?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina moved to retrieve Ellie’s drink from Emily’s hands, tittering a bit whilst she wrapped her arm around Ellie’s shoulders, “Trying to steal my girl, Em? I always knew you were bicurious.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The blonde scoffed, shaking her head, “I just know when a girl is hot, doesn’t mean I want them in my pants though. You’re hot, D, but I wouldn’t have sex with you.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina cocked a brow, “Ellie would.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie couldn’t tell if all if all her blood rushed to her face, or left it completely. All she knew was that she either went pale as a ghost, or red as a tomato - she didn’t know which was better. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Emily chortled loudly, “I saw you guys basically eye fucking each other at your house, so that does not surprise me.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Shut up, Em!” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">—————</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was around 12am now, the party was still loud and lively, with not one sober guest on the entire property. Even the kids who’d chucked up their guts in the garden were still partying. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie had left her friends in search of the bathroom, desperately needing to pee. She didn’t want to break the seal, as the saying went, but she couldn’t hold it for much longer. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After relieving herself and washing her hands, she made her way through the long hall way, trying to remember where the stairs started. This house was about four times the size of Joel’s house, like a miniature mansion almost. In her confused state, she accidentally bumped shoulders with a muscular, jacket out guy with a buzz cut. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sorry dude,” She said as they both turned to look at each other. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Watch where you’re going next time, dickhead.” He curled his lip, running his eyes over her with total contempt. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Jesus man, I said sorry, no need to be dick about it.” Ellie didn’t bother to hide her annoyance. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He moved back towards her, chest puffed out, trying to assert dominance like a fucking peacock. “Think your hard cause you got a fucked up hand, do you?” He eyed her hand, grimacing as if he’d just stepping in a pile of shit. “That thing is fucking gross.” He spat, looking down at her with fury in his eyes. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie clenched her fists, feeling the anger pulse in her chest and down her arms. She clenched her jaw, fighting off the urge to swing for his square shaped head and spin his jaw right off. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She promised Dina that she would better. Here was a good time to start acting on that promise. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Just calm down, dude. It’s kinda pathetic to get so worked up because a girl bumped into you.” She turned to walk away, blood still filled with anger, but pride started to fill her chest. She’d walked away from the confrontation, been the better person. She hadn’t necessarily backed down, that wasn’t her style. But it felt good to walk away. He’d insulted her on perhaps her biggest insecurity (she had a lot of them) and she’d ignored it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She was proud. She was certain Dina would be too.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She met Jesse first. They bumped fists like they did every time they saw each other; Dina called it a bromance. She supposed it was a bromance... kinda. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You stealin’ my girl now, Ellie?” He chuckled, handing her a drink. A few droplets splashed out and landed on his shoes, but he was too drunk to notice. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Uhhhh,” She stammered, panic quickly setting in. Did he still like her? Did it make her a bad friend to get with his ex? Fuck this was awkward. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jesse seemed to notice her worried face, and offered her a smirk, “I’m kidding, Ellie. Whatever you two got going on, I’m happy for you both. Besides, I got my eye on someone else.” He motioned his head to a dark skinned girl with long braids, curled up into a bun atop her head. She was chatting with some friends, spotting Jesse and giving a shy smile and wave. Ellie deemed to her to be very beautiful. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie saw the hungry look in Jesse’s eyes and decided it was time to dip. She didn’t need to see this eye fucking thing, especially when it was one of her friends. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She also didn’t need to see Ollie with his tongue down that redheads throat, but she fucking did. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie located Dina and Emily, who were chatting to another group. Ellie was unsure if they already knew each other or if they’d just met at the party. The way they were chatting, Ellie assumed they’d been friends for years. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Alcohol giving her that sweet confidence she knew Dina adored, Ellie did her absolute best to contribute to the conversation. Turns out, they’d all only just met, and they went to a different school nearby. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They chatted for half an hour, swapping drinks and just talking random shit. It must’ve been about 1am by now, and the party didn’t look like it was going to end for another few hours at least. Not that Ellie minded, she had Dina hanging off of her arm most of the time, her nimble fingers stroking the back of Ellie’s neck with her searing touch. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It felt good; felt good that Dina was was displaying obvious affection to her in front of everyone, and not one person had made a jab at her or called her a name. It felt liberating to not have to hide anything; her hand or her sexuality. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sure, there was that one asshole with the square shaped head, but he was a dickhead who had a problem with his pride. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">As Dina giggled and laughed at something Emily had said, Ellie felt her heart swell with pure admiration. Dina had helped her crawl out of her shell, allowing her to experience things she never thought she would; acceptance, mostly. She felt completely content, felt as if the burden she’d carried around for so long was finally starting to thaw, the weight becoming less and less. It felt liberating. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It wasn’t the alcohol; Ellie knew it was Dina. The girl who’d ignited a fire in her chest, the girl that pushed her to do better. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Emily had left to refill her cup at a table a few feet away, leaving Ellie and Dina with the group. Ollie stopped by for a couple minutes and showed Ellie some gaming memes on his phone, both of them erupting into drunken bellies of laughter. When the redhead reappeared, Ollie took her hand and wandered off. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“How long have you two been together then? You guys are fucking adorable.” A tall girl with sharp blue eyes and long, dark curls said.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina and Ellie shared a look. They weren’t together, but Ellie was fairly certain that they weren’t available for anyone else either. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We’re still kind of just dating, at the minute.” Dina swung their entwined hands, “Waiting for this one to pluck up the courage and ask me.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie scowled at her, before turning to the group, “I don’t know what she’s talking about, I met her an hour ago, she won’t leave me alone.” She joked, earning a few laughs from the other kids. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie turned her head to look over her shoulder when she heard a voice behind her, coming from the refill table. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was Emily. The blonde was shrinking away from a guy in a blue shirt, but he was moving closer to her, boxing her in. She looked incredibly uncomfortable, almost fearful. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie released Dina’s hand and marched over to them, where Emily could be heard speaking shakily, “I said no, just leave me alone.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey.” Ellie challenged, stepping in front of Emily to act as a protective barrier. “She said no, alright? Leave her alone.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The guy was tall, a good few inches taller than Ellie, built like a football player. That didn’t intimidate Ellie; looks didn’t deter her from anything, especially when someone was in trouble. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Abby hasn’t exactly been the smallest girl, she was probably tougher than this asshole. If she could take Abby she could certainly take this douchebag. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“And who the fuck are you?” He shoved Ellie shoulders, knocking her back a step. The anger at the situation and his refusal to realise he was wrong stirred up within her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2"> <em>Don’t fight back don’t fight back don’t fight back. You’re better than this. You can be better than this. </em> </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“She told you no.” Ellie said firmly, not backing down when he stepped towards her, glaring down at her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie barely noticed that the bustling in the garden had quietened significantly, all eyes on the three of them. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“She’s playing hard to get.” He tried to push Ellie aside to move past her, but she shoved him back, making him stumble a bit. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What the fuck is wrong with you? You scared her, she said fucking no.” Ellie retaliated angrily, blood pumping hot through her veins like magma. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina was behind Ellie then, her hand on Ellie’s tense bicep. Dina spoke gently, trying to diffuse the situation; “Please just leave us, dude. She’s not interested in you.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His face was twisted, lip curled up in a disgusted sneer, beyond seething; he looked fucking furious. “You think I’m gonna let a couple of fucking dykes tell me what she wants?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina felt Ellie tense even more, causing extreme anxiousness to wash through her. She could hear Ellie’s ragged breathing, attempting to calm herself down, but Dina wasn’t sure it was working. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She was aware they had an audience, but everyone else seemed too scared to take action about the the two feuding teenagers in front of her. She was pissed no one wanted to help, especially after being caught red handed pressuring a girl he didn’t even know; but she understood why they didn’t do anything, she was scared too. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Scared of what this guy might do to Ellie; </span> <span class="s2">terrified </span> <span class="s1">of what Ellie might do him. </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Feeling Ellie shake with fury under her hand, Dina was about to pull her away, but Ellie wasn’t backing down. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“This is your last chance to leave us alone.” Ellie growled, irate and tense. “If I see you anywhere near her again I’ll fucking-“ </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina shrieked as Ellie’s head snapped the side, the sound of a sickening thump echoing in her ears. Ellie stumbled back slightly, blood leaking down from the side of her mouth. The was drops of blood on the tiles. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina saw a flash of fury on Ellie’s face and knew there was nothing she could do to stop her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The bleeding girl tackled him, knocking him to ground, a shout of pain escaping his mouth as his head smacked against the hard floor. There were gasps escaping from the mouths of the bystanders as they watched in horror, frozen from shock. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie struck him once, twice, three times in the face. After raising her arm for the fourth strike, dread suddenly washed over her entire being, severing the anger and banishing it away. She didn’t see the face of a bloodied man beneath her, it was Abby’s face, red and swollen and eyes swimming with fear. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s2"><em>Stop now, before you take it too far, you can be better than this.</em> </span> <span class="s1">A voice echoed in Ellie’s head. It wasn’t her voice, however; it was Dina’s. </span> <span class="s2"> <em>You can be better than this.</em> </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Breathing heavy, chest convulsing after after using all her strength to pommel the other guy, she rose shakily to her feet.He didn’t look like Abby anymore, but her chest still felt heavy. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There was dead silence for a moment, save for the hum of the base that escaped the house. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">All eyes were on her; the auburn haired girl could feel the crippling anxiety creeping up her neck whilst shame hammered against her heart. She’d done it again; gave into her anger and hurt someone. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2"> <em>Why are you like this? How can you be so pathetic? </em> </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Until, there were some cheers. Within seconds the whole garden was cheering, shouting obscenities, directed at the boy on the floor. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina threw herself into Ellie’s arms, knocking her aback slightly. Ellie could feel Dina’s heartbeat hammering against her own racing heart. “I’m sorry.” She murmured into Dina’s hair, “I promised you I’d do better.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina shook her head, pulling away to wipe a smidge of blood from Ellie’s mouth, “Are you dumb?” Dina laughed tearily before surging up on her toes to press a kiss to Ellie’s mouth, “I’m proud of you. You didn’t do anything until he swung for you. I’m proud, El.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">As the cheers carried on in the background, Dina glanced over Ellie’s shoulder to see the boy sitting up, hand to his cheek, streaks of blood leaking from his mouth and nose. A red cup rebounded off the side of his head where someone had threw it him, his torso now soaked in what looked beer.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Are you okay?” Ellie asked as they approached a shaken Emily. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Emily nodded shakily, “I am. Thank you for swooping in there.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie noted that she sounded considerably more sober; the experience of being preyed upon must’ve made her forget about the alcohol swimming around her head. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie smiled at her, but her voice wasn’t joyful, it was determined, protective, “I wasn’t gonna let him take advantage of you. People like him make me sick.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie heard loud footsteps, signalling Jesse and Ollie’s arrival. “What the hell happened?” Jesse panted, “We were upstairs and next thing I know everyone out here is cheering like it’s a baseball game.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ollie’s expression changed from confusion to shock as he saw Ellie’s bloodied face, and an even bloodier face behind her, “You got into a fight?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That creep was trying it on with Em.” Dina said, wrapping her arm comfortingly around the blonde girl, “He wouldn’t take no for an answer. Ellie squared up to him, and told him to leave.” She flashed a disgusted look at the boy who was dragging himself to his feet, face red with embarrassment, “He started being a dickhead and hit Ellie. Ellie just retaliated until he was on the ground.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jesse raised his hand to fist bump Ellie. She halfheartedly accepted, tapping her left fist against his; her right hand was stinging, already sporting a light purple bruise. “Thanks for looking out for her, Ellie.” Jesse said sincerely, his eyes holding admiration for her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah,” Ollie stepped in, patting Ellie’s shoulder, “We’re sorry we couldn’t be there. Looks like you taught him a lesson though.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie didn’t even bother to look at the sorry excuse of a man. She turned to Emily again, “You sure you’re okay?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Emily nodded and moved over to give Ellie a quick hug. Ellie accepted it but didn’t really know what to with her arms, settling for a awkward pat on Emily’s back.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Do you wanna leave?” Dina offered gently, a comforting hand on Emily’s shoulder. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The blonde shook her head, “Nah. We can’t let one asshole ruin all the fun can we?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Alright!” Jesse cheered jubilantly, retrieving a bottle of sourz from his ridiculously large jacket pocket, “Shots it is!” </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello readers! I hope you have enjoyed the chapter! </p><p>Where I’m from, the legal drinking age is 18, so to say these characters are drinking underage feels really strange to me. America, you weird. </p><p>Remember, I now have a tumblr so feel free to stop by and have a chat! It’s bighandsghostfingers. </p><p>Thank you all so much for the kudos and comments. I still have a good handful of chapters to post, but I haven’t finished writing yet. So please, if you have anything you wanna see/you think will fit well in the story, let me know. Until tomorrow/2 days away, my friends!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Party 2.0</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Oh ya’ll wanted a twist ay? Come on chapter 15 let’s get SICKENING! </p><p>Or </p><p>The party through the eyes of... </p><p>(Also mentions of violence and blood, homophobia and slurs).</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The party was well and truly alive, bodies bustling and dancing to the music as the rooms filled up more and more by the second. It was like a sea of hormones - drunk and high teenagers all crammed into one house. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was a disaster waiting to happen, but it didn’t stop everyone from partying like there was no tomorrow.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She’d chosen to move outside, where there was more air to breathe and the atmosphere was a little quieter. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You on the pull then, Abby?” A dark skinned woman flung her arm over Abby’s muscular shoulders as she shoved a red cup into her hand. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Me? No way. I’m just here as a wingman.” She replied, accepting the drink from Nora and taking a long sip. Almost immediately, she grimaced, face contorted and twisted by the extremely unpleasant taste in her mouth, “Whiskey, Nora? You know I hate this shit.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The dark skinned girl scoffed, glaring at the other girl, “You know, I heard whiskey is good for drowning out your problems. Maybe you should suck it up and enjoy it.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Drowning out my problems? What the hell are you talking about?” She retorted back angrily. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Nora softened her expression then, indicating that she hadn’t meant any harm, “I know you’re still hung up over Owen.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The muscular girl glared at Nora, hard eyes squinted with a deep frown, “I’m over that shit, Nora. You know I am.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Could’ve fooled me. You were watching them on the dance floor and I couldn’t figure out if you wanted to kill them or go hide in a corner and cry.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Abby was preparing to defend herself, prove that she didn’t give two shits that Owen was with </span> <span class="s2">Mel </span> <span class="s1">now. Fucking Mel, the sweet, kind, generous, small woman with a fucking pixie cut. Mel, who had soft, dark alluring eyes that held kindness and a warmth that anyone could fall in love with. </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Fucking </span> <span class="s2"><em>Mel</em>. </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">What was the abbreviated name even short for, anyway? Melanie? Melinda? Mellisa? Melodramatic? </span> <span class="s2"><em>Fucking melanogenesis</em>? </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Who gave a fuck about Mel, anyway? She sure didn’t. Fuck Owen, and fuck Mel. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“Abbyyy, it’s me </span> <span class="s2">Mannny!” </span> <span class="s1">A drunken voice boomed into her ear as she felt an arm slumping over the shoulders. </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Despite how drunk he was, she was elated that he’d saved her from this aggravating conversation with Nora. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Nora needed to lighten up, it was a fucking party for fucks sake. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Can you believe our names rhyme?” Manny slurred drunkenly, his weight becoming an almost unbearable burden on her upper body, “I never realised until now our names rhymed. Crazy shit. Loco.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Manny, our names do not rhyme.” She attempted to shy away from his body, but he only stumbled closer. She could smell the mix of alcohol and tobacco on his breath. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“She’s right, bonehead.” Nora interjected, “Abby and Manny don’t rhyme. We’ve been here for an hour, how are you so pissed already?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Manny chuckled at her authoritative tone, “Relax sweet cheeks. I’m a big boy, I can handle my alcohol.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Owen arrived then, his hand clasped in Mel’s. Abby almost let the urge to roll her eyes overcome her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She ignored whatever it was the couple were saying, instead deciding to watch the other partygoers who were dotted around the large garden. There was a large, tent like marquee with a makeshift bar inside that looked fun. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She’d have to check it out later, when Owen and Mel had fucked off. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Since her vicious fistfight last year, Abby and Owen had drifted apart. He didn’t want to be with someone who put others down, didn’t want to part of the negativity that came with bullying. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Abby had pleaded with him, begged him to stay with her, but he had made up his mind. Owen turning over a new leaf, as he had put it, angered the blonde girl to new extents. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She hadn’t been the only person to say mean things to others, it was all of them. The five of them had called other kids names, picked on them, vandalised their belongings. It wasn’t just a singular effort, it had been all five of them. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Their favourite target had been a girl named Ellie. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">After the two girls fought outside of school and battered each other to a pulp, after the other girl had tried to </span> <span class="s2">kill </span> <span class="s1">her, Owen and Mel had started to distance themselves away from the group. They would come to hangouts less frequently, disappear half way through lunch times, spend much less time with the rest of them. </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Owen had claimed he didn’t want to be that person anymore, that there was more to school than putting others down. He said that he felt sorry for Ellie, explained that it had been wrong of them to target her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His revelation angered Abby. Did Owen seriously think that he was a better person because he “felt bad” for all of the things he did? </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She thought he needed to get off of his fucking high horse. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What the fuck...” Manny said in absolute disbelief, a mixture of awe and shock washing over his face. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Nora turned to his direction, squinting her eyes to try and locate whatever he was so shocked at. “What?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Can you not see it?” The Hispanic teen exclaimed, grabbing onto Nora’s shoulder and gesturing his head over to the direction of a group of people. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh come on, Manny.” Nora scoffed, arms folding across her chest, “You think that mixed race kid is André? We don’t all look alike you know!” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“Nora, what the fuck are you talking about? Look who he’s standing </span> <span class="s2"><em>with</em>.” </span> <span class="s1">He bent down to her level and pointed to the group of teens that stood around the marquee tent. </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Abby followed her friends arm, her eyes trailed a path towards the group of teens.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What the fuck...” The muscular blonde uttered incredulously, the words tumbling out of her mouth as she stared in pure disbelief. She felt stupefied, completely astonished. Abby blinked once, twice, as if what she was seeing was some kind of apparition, a trick of the light. Had her drink been spiked when she wasn’t paying attention? </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She was here. Ellie was here, at the party, standing across the garden. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The freckled, lanky teen was laughing at something another girl had said, her chest heaving and shoulders shaking. Her hair was a little shorter than Abby had last seen it; it just brushed her shoulders, and the top half was pulled into a small bun. There was a tattoo etched into the skin of her forearm. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There was an olive skinned girl beside her, leaning her head onto Ellie’s shoulder, one of her hands clasping Ellie’s as she too laughed at whatever the other woman said. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Everything seemed to stop. She couldn’t hear the music, couldn’t feel the thump of the bass beneath her feet. The only sensation she could feel was the increasing pace of her heart hammering in her chest. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie hadn’t moved away or left town? She couldn’t have, because she was at this party with a group of people who Abby assumed were her friends. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Since their bloody brawl months ago, no one had seen or heard anything about the freckled girl since. It was like she had dropped off the face of the earth, disappeared into thin air, sunken into the ground, never to be seen again. The last time she had seen the auburn haired girl was through blurred vision as Ellie was escorted into an ambulance, blood spurting from her fingers and face black and purple.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">So many emotions hit the blonde girl at once, so much that she couldn’t pinpoint how she truly felt. Anger, shock, pain, fear? Coupled with the blinding disbelief and astonishment, she almost felt delirious. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Ellie was standing </span> <span class="s2"><em>right there</em>. </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey.” A voice tore her out of her head.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was Owen. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Let’s just go some place else, yeah? We’re done with this.” His tone was caring and stern, a knowing look in his eyes that made Abby tremble. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Are you kidding?” Manny interrupted, forcefully grabbing Abby’s shoulder in an effort to show his support, “That fucking bitch tried to kill Abby. Now she’s here, standing there all cozy with her friends, and you want to walk away?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes.” Owen replied in a clipped, forceful tone, “That’s exactly what I want to do. Don’t you guys get it? We made her life hell, we tormented her for a long fucking time. Don’t you think she deserves to be left alone?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Nora cut in next, moving to stand beside Abby, her face determined and loyal, “Manny’s right. She fucked Abby up. Don’t you remember her face after Ellie beat the shit out of her? She had handprints around her neck for an entire week.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Owen scowled, turning his head away in dejected anger, “That’s not the point, Nora. Ellie lashed out because we were fucking horrible to her, for a long fucking time.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Manny scoffed angrily, his defensive grip on Abby’s shoulder tightening, “So you’re sticking up for that loser now? After she almost </span> <span class="s2"><em>strangled</em> </span> <span class="s1">Abby?” </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He never said that!” Mel interjected, her voice raised higher than any of them had ever heard. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Manny scowled at the short woman, “You decide to jump in to defend Owen, you forget what that bitch did to Abby? You should be thinking of Abby and what she went through, not defending the fucking faggot who almost killed her.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There were tears in Mel’s dark eyes, dangerously close to spilling over her cheeks, “Don’t you think Ellie has paid enough already?” Her voice was small, tearful. She wasn’t looking at any of them, her eyes focused on something in the distance. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The tense atmosphere seemed to shift just a smidge as she group turned towards the subject of the argument. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie still hadn’t noticed them, too wrapped up in the conversation she was having with her friends. The dark haired, olive skinned girl was hanging off her arm, moving to her toes to press a small kiss on Ellie’s cheek. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Abby was still silent when her eyes trailed down to Ellie’s hand, where there was an absence of a ring and pinky finger. All that remained were two useless stubs, but they were too far away to observe any of the finer details. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Holy shit.” Manny exclaimed, “You actually bit them right off, Abs. I thought the doctors would’ve reattached them.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Abby didn’t know an awful lot about amputation and severed body parts, but her father had once explained to her that limbs could be reattached if certain criteria was met. She knew finger reattachments were quite common, but Ellie’s missing appendages implied that her injury must’ve been more complicated than most finger injuries. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Seeing the aftermath of their fight made her skin crawl. Her teeth hurt, an ache spread across her jaw. She faintly remembered the sensation of Ellie’s bones breaking between her teeth, and warm blood filling her mouth. The sight of blood spurting from her wounds and two motionless fingers laying somewhere on the ground plagued her vision. She felt sick. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mel cut in, her voice once again angry and defensive, “Don’t you see? She’s happy. Just leave her be.” Owen slotted his hand into hers, reaffirming her point and offering his support to the short woman. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Owen looked into Abby’s eyes then, and they spoke words she couldn’t hear, but she felt them, whatever they meant; she felt them. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Owen and Mel are right, guys. Let’s just leave her be.” Abby said quietly, tearing her eyes off of Ellie’s figure, turning back to her friends. She could taste iron in her mouth. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Seriously, Abby?” Manny retorted angrily, “You’re just gonna leave her after what she did?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes.” She scowled, her jaw clenched and posture stiff, “It’s not about her, or any of you guys. This is my decision, and I’m choosing to leave it. I’m done with this shit.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She was met with an odd silence. Nora and Manny still seemed pissed, livid, beyond shocked at her decision. Owen and Mel gave her a knowing look, but not one of proudness or admiration; she couldn’t dissect their gazes at all, but she knew they were content with her decision. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She guessed that was good enough for her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She had resented Ellie for a long time, there was a strong dislike that made her mouth sour every time she thought of the auburn haired girl.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She had never liked her. Ellie was obnoxious, weirdly energetic and painfully awkward all at the same time. She’d been a competitive rival to Abby in sports games, mainly soccer and hockey. They’d butted heads countless times during practises, which often resulted in insults being thrown both ways, but in the end, Abby always had her friends to back her up. Ellie didn’t have that privilege. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When they’d spray painted “FAGGOT” onto Ellie’s locker, no one had cared. Because Ellie didn’t have anyone. It made the teasing so much easier; Ellie would retort back, gave as good as she got, but it was always 5 vs 1, them against her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She didn’t even remember how the news spread that Ellie was gay. She was aware that Ellie was a loner, didn’t have anyone to confide in, so it was a mystery to her how it became common knowledge. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It gave her ammunition, though. Ellie being a homosexual shot straight to the top of her list of insults and jabs. Anything she could do or say to belittle Ellie was something worth saying. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Until Ellie snapped and went berserk. Abby would never forget that look of animalistic rage or the feeling of her weight crushing down on her windpipe. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But as much as she hated to admit it, Owen and Mel were kind of right; it wasn’t worth picking a fight with Ellie. There was no reason to go around in a cycle of violence with her. What happened happened, and she had moved on. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The fight with Ellie had been the catalyst for the downfall of her relationship with Owen. If she decided to pick another fight with Ellie, Owen would probably never speak to her again. She would never have that chance to reconcile with him, even if it was just as friends. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Abby began a path towards the house, away from the garden, away from Ellie. It was time to leave this feud in the past. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Until she heard the familiar voice of a defensive Ellie. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“She told you no.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“She’s playing hard to get.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Abby swivelled back around, aware that the previously bustling sea of teenagers now fell silent, all eyes on two feuding teenagers across the pool. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What the fuck is wrong with you? You’re scaring her, she said fucking no.” Ellie sneered angrily at the bulky man in front of her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Abby spotted a blonde girl cowering behind Ellie, trembling, clearly shaken up from the boys unwanted advances. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">The dark haired beauty from before, the one who held Ellie’s hand and kissed her cheek, was next to Ellie then, saying something she couldn’t quite hear. The olive skinned woman’s hand was on Ellie’s arm, as if she was holding her back from unleashing all the fury that Abby </span> <span class="s2">knew </span> <span class="s1">Ellie was capable of. </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Did the woman on Ellie’s arm know of the rage that was hidden beneath? </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The muscular boy suddenly looked furious, a malicious sneer pulling at his lips, before he angrily responded, “You think I’m gonna let a couple of fucking dykes tell me what she wants?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Abby flinched, expecting to see an animalistic Ellie pounce on him, just like she had done to her all those months ago. She was stunned, astonished that Ellie wasn’t beating the shit out of him yet. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Her windpipe felt tight. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie remained rooted on the spot, her friend - girlfriend? - still clasping onto Ellie’s arm. Abby could see the telltale signs of feral, untamed rage on Ellie’s face, her jaw clenched and eyes squinted with hate. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She’d seen that look when Ellie had her hands wrapped around her throat. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“This is your last chance.” She heard Ellie speak again, and Abby could tell that she was just barely holding on to any sense of rationality. Ellie was ready to burst any second, like a time bomb ticking down to its final seconds before hell was unleashed. “If I see you anywhere near her again I’ll fucking-“ </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The whole garden erupted into horrified gasps, a shriek of terror came from the girl on Ellie’s arm. The blockheaded boy had struck Ellie across the face with a clenched fist, knocking her entire head to the side and causing her to stumble back. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Then she saw it. Pure, untamed, ferocious </span> <span class="s2"> <em>rage</em> </span> <span class="s1"> contorting Ellie’s face. Abby only witnessed it for a short second, because by the time she saw it, experienced it for the second time in her life, the bloodied girl had him on the floor, striking his face with everything she had. </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Each strike was loud and sickening. Her throat felt tight. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">How long until she started to choke him, too? Would anyone be brave enough to step in and stop her? Or would the boy have to do something unthinkable to protect his own life? </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After the third strike, Ellie stopped, her bloodied fist shaking beside her face. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">In that tense moment, with the whole garden of teenagers on edge, in a dead silence, Abby knew exactly what Ellie was thinking. Because she was thinking about it too. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Ellie stood, leaving the bloodied mess of a boy dazed on the hard ground, the entire garden - save for Abby’s friendship group - erupted into elated cheers and hoots. The auburn haired woman wasn’t angry anymore; in fact she looked incredibly sad and shaken up. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The olive skinned girl threw herself into Ellie’s arms, gripping her tightly around the shoulders. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A moment later, the shorter woman pulled away from Ellie and held her bruising face in her dainty hands, their eyes locking together. She said something that only the two of them could hear, before extending up on her tiptoes to press a gentle, chaste kiss on her lips. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Through the cheers and obscenities thrown towards the battered boy, Abby turned to her friends, but her eyes found Owen’s before anything else. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She was done with this. Done with Ellie, done with Owen being disappointed in her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We’re leaving.” </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This was a late add in, never intended for it but it popped into my mind and I just had to write it. </p><p>Thank you all so much for reading! Hope you didn’t mind Abby. Promise next chapter is allllll Ellie and Dina. Will we see Abby again? I don’t know, you tell me!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. just two gals being pals</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Ellie and Dina arrive home from the party and spend their hangovers together. Hangovers suck, but at the least the company is good.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was 3:30am when the two drunk teens stumbled into the doorway of Dina’s house. They were giggling uncontrollably, supporting each others drunken weight as they tried to kick their shoes off. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m gonna get us some water,” Dina slurred, stumbling over the fridge. She gasped when her hip bumped into the counter, but carried on her merry way, still fighting a fit of giggles. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie pulled out her phone from her pocket, squinting her eyes in an effort to make out the letters on the keypad. She selected Joel’s contact number. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2"> <em>hey, jus got back to Dina’s house, pls pick ms up latee, like aftsr dinner. had lot fo drink, will probs be hungovertr. we got bac k safe, see yoi tomkrrkw </em> </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She couldn’t be bothered to go back and correct all the mistakes, the alcohol buzzing through her head and making the room spin slightly. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The two girls managed to make it up the stairs in one piece, giggling at each and every stumble on their ascent to Dina’s room. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina made her way over to the bedside cabinet to place the water bottles down. She was drunk, but not stupid. There was no way she could’ve handled glasses of water trying to get up those stairs.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie shut the door behind them, eyes blinking rapidly as she attempted to stop the room from spinning like an out of control carousel. She groaned as rubbed at her eyes, seeing tiny, gold stars cropping up in her vision. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina was stripping down to to her underwear, throwing her clothes onto the chair that sat beside her desk. They landed in a heap, but she was too drunk to care. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Ellie’s starry vision started to clear, she let out a gasp when she was pushed forcefully against the back of the door. Dina was pressed against her, skin warm and intoxicating. The shock washed away as Dina crushed her lips against Ellie’s, immediately melting into the kiss. Her hands found Dina’s naked waist, her skin warming Ellie’s hands in a way that sent her dizzy. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After a minute or so, Dina pulled away, eyes dark with want. “I think you’re a little overdressed.” She whispered seductively, pushing her slim fingers under Ellie’s shirt, silently asking for it to be removed. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Eyes clouded with lust, Ellie shook out of her flannel and t shirt, tossing them to the floor. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina’s eyes graced over Ellie’s toned abdomen, the most subtle abs she had ever seen were flexing slightly with each breath the taller girl took. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Soon Ellie was stepping out of her jeans, kicking them to the side, leaving her in just her underwear. Through laboured breathing, Ellie admired the beautiful, underwear clad women in front of her. Her olive skin, her bra clad breasts, smooth legs. She was softer than Ellie, but still toned and curvy in all the right places. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina smirked at her flirtatiously, swaying ever so slightly from the alcohol that was running through her entire body, “Why am I not surprised you wear men’s boxers?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie looked down at herself, her face mocking that of a sad child, bottom lip jutting out and wobbling, “They’re comfy.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina let herself laugh at the taller girl, allowing her eyes to travel over Ellie’s toned biceps and stomach, “Come over here and kiss me.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie complied, rushing forward to press her body into Dina’s, one hand to Dina’s face and the other clamped firmly on her waist. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina snaked her arms around Ellie’s shoulders, her breath hitching when her lip was caught between Ellie’s teeth. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The stumbled backwards drunkenly, silently praying that they’d end on the bed and not the floor. Ellie tripped over Dina’s rug and ungracefully flopped onto the sheets, her giggles silenced when Dina climbed on top of her, straddling her hips. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie groaned at the contact, pressing her hands firmly into Dina’s hips as she rocked them, guiding her into slow, agonising movements. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie gazed up at the other girl, taking note of her flushed face and red cheeks, as well as her short intake of breath every time her hips rocked against the girl beneath her. She didn’t think she’d ever seen Dina look so gorgeous. She felt immensely privileged to be able to touch Dina like this, to run her hands over smooth skin and kiss those delicious lips. It made her dizzy just thinking about it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie leant up and pulled Dina flush against her, bringing her lips to the other girls delicious neck and peppered a few kisses.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She was met with a breathy moan, one of Dina’s hands coming up to grip her hair. Her grip tightened significantly when Ellie scraped her teeth along Dina’s neck, biting down gently just above Dina’s collarbone. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ellie...” She whined, pushing her hips forward. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The sound of Dina moaning Ellie’s name sent a wave of arousal through her; it was the sexiest thing she’d ever heard. She’d never felt so warm before. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She wanted to hear it on Dina’s lips again, wanted so badly for the other girl to be squirming beneath her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">History repeating itself, Ellie flipped them over, pressing her weight down on Dina to keep her in place. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fuck,” Dina gasped, utterly breathless from their kiss, “You’re so fucking hot when you do that.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie smirked, wrapping long fingers around Dina’s slim wrist, pinning her arm to the pillow. “When I do what?” She whispered huskily, leaning down slightly so she could drink in the sight of a flustered Dina. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Before Dina could reply, a moan escaped her lips, Ellie’s thigh slotting between her legs rendering her speechless. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Come again?” Ellie whispered, tightening the hold on other woman’s wrist slightly. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ellie, I-fuck,” Dina’s chest heaved as she spoke, another gasp escaping her lips at the added pressure from Ellie’s thigh. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Tell me.” Ellie said quietly, their noses touching, the slight scent of whiskey tainting her warm breath. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“When you take control, </span> <span class="s2">fuck. </span> <span class="s1">You’re fucking intoxicating.” She whined, arousal setting deep into her stomach to the point where she ached for Ellie’s touch. </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie captured Dina’s lips in another searing kiss, her bruised hand moving to skim her fingers across Dina’s stomach. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina moaned in delight, nipping at Ellie’s lip as her hips bucked from the contact. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">She didn’t care that Ellie could probably </span> <span class="s2">feel </span> <span class="s1">her arousal on her thigh. Dina’s mind couldn’t fathom embarrassment right now; all that mattered was Ellie’s body on top of her. </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“Ellie...” She murmured into Ellie’s mouth, “Ellie... I-“ </span> <span class="s2"><em>I fucking want you so bad, please, please touch me,</em> </span> <span class="s1">“I think I’m gonna be sick.” The nausea from the alcohol coupled with her extreme arousal and Ellie’s weight pressing down on her made her head swim, causing her mouth to start filling up with that awful saliva that signalled she was in fact going to fucking vomit. </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie released her grip immediately, scuttling off the bed and pulling Dina up with her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie had managed to escort her to the bathroom just in time; as soon as Dina made it in front of the toilet, she started throwing up. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie’s hand soothingly stroked her back, her other one holding back any loose strands of hair as Dina retched into the toilet. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“Couldn’t this have happened </span> <span class="s2"><em>afterwards</em>?” </span> <span class="s1">Dina scowled into the bowl before her body convulsed again, signally more vomit was on its way. </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie chuckled, continuing to stroke her back, “It was probably best that we stopped. I wanna remember it properly, you know?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina coughed into the toilet again, “So the memory tonight can go in your wank bank instead, right?” She chuckled lightly, grimacing at the sting in her throat. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That wasn’t what I meant, but I guess that wouldn’t hurt.” She smiled sheepishly, even though Dina couldn’t see it, “But I want it to be special. Not that doing it while drunk wouldn’t be, but uh, you know.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina spat into the toilet bowl, “Yeah, I get you, Miss Romantic. If we were sober I wouldn’t have almost vomited in your mouth.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They waited a few minutes to see if there were anymore surprise vomit attacks before Ellie helped Dina to her feet. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina groaned, turning on the water tap to wash her hands and face, “Thanks, El. Give me two minutes to brush my teeth and wash up. I’m sorry.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie pressed a kiss to the side of her head, “It’s okay, babe. I’m gonna go down and get us some more water.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie’s hand lingered on her back for a moments before she padded down to the kitchen. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Dina pressed her palms into her eyes when she’d finished cleaning up. Ellie was right; it was a good thing they stopped. But that didn’t mean she wasn’t frustrated; frustrated at the fact that she’d thrown up half of the alcohol she’d consumed throughout the day, but even more frustrated because she’d been so fucking ready for it, aching for Ellie to touch her, and the entire situation left her unsatisfied and </span> <span class="s2"><em>still aching</em>. </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She walked back into her bedroom to find Ellie still in her underwear, leaning over Dina’s bed as she plumped up the pillows and pulled the covers back.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina silently crawled into her spot beside the wall, the scent of fresh sheets filling her nostrils and relaxing her a little. Ellie climbed in beside her, lifting an arm to allow Dina to rest her head on Ellie’s shoulder and wrap and arm over her middle. When her head was in a comfortable enough position, she swung her leg over Ellie’s thighs, shuffling a little closer to the human heater that was Ellie. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie’s hand trailed down Dina’s back, her calloused fingers running over the bumps of Dina’s spine. Dina sighed contently, snuggling her face deeper into shoulder. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You sure you didn’t piss yourself as well?” Ellie joked, her small laugh jostling Dina a little. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina groaned into Ellie’s neck, not wanting to see the smug smirk that had undoubtedly spread across the freckled girls face, “Shut up!” She groaned sheepishly, well aware of the dampness that was pressed into the side of Ellie’s thigh. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie pressed a kiss to her head, “At least I know I’m doing something right.” She muttered into Dina’s hair, which still smelt like the coconut shampoo she’d used that afternoon. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina hummed, shuffling a little to get more comfortable. She pressed her face into the crook of Ellie’s neck, both for comfort and as a hiding spot to mask her embarrassed face. “We should try to sleep.” Dina said as she stifled a yawn. She felt as if her mind was tired, but her body was still wide awake. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay. I... had a really good night, Dina.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina lifted her head to plant a firm peck on Ellie’s lips, “Me too. I’m glad you came with us. And I’m proud of you for keeping your cool with that creep.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie just squeezed her tighter. “I should be thanking you. I promised I’d be better because of you.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m proud.” Dina muttered, sleep threatening to take over any second. The alcohol coupled with the throwing up, plus the fact that it was now 4am, made her incredibly exhausted. “G’night Ellie.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie smiled at Dina’s sleepy, slurred words. She pressed a kiss to dark hair, “Goodnight, Dina.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It wasn’t long before sleep overcame them both. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">—————</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Dina woke up, she was hit with a pounding headache; she could literally feel her brain sloshing inside of her head, or at least, that’s how it felt when she moved more than a millimetre. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The next thing she registered amongst the pounding of her head was Ellie’s soft, quiet snores, each exhale tickling the back of her neck. Ellie’s arm was around her waist, tucking the shorter girls entire body into Ellie’s. Dina smiled at the feeling of slotting so perfectly into Ellie’s warm body, like pieces of a jigsaw. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina wrapped her hand around Ellie’s, the feeling of the maimed hand familiar to her now. It was was an odd feeling, but certainly not unwelcome. It was a part of Ellie, and Dina had never known Ellie without it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie started to stir then, mumbling some incoherent word as her nose brushed the back of Dina’s neck. The arm around Dina tightened, but she noted a change in the pattern of Ellie’s breathing. She was waking up. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie groaned into her neck, shifting her hand from Dina’s grasp to rest on the curve of Dina’s waist as she groaned in discomfort, “Urgh, my fucking head.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina chuckled, wishing she could see the grimace on Ellie’s face, but she was too scared to move, fearful of the pain her head would undoubtedly suffer if she dared to scoot around. “You were snoring.” She muttered admiringly. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sorry.” Ellie mumbled, voice still laced with grogginess as she rubbed her thumb across Dina’s hipbone, “I only do it when I’ve been drinking.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina kicked her leg backwards, catching Ellie’s shin with her heel. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ow! What the fuck was that for?” The taller girl gasped.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You snore all the time.” Dina shot back, still refusing to move her head from the pillow. Admittedly, Dina liked Ellie’s quiet snores. They were more like slightly loud, breathy exhales, with the faintest, quietest inhales; it was really fucking cute, in her opinion. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jesse had been a loud snorer, meaning Dina struggled to get a good night’s sleep whenever they shared a bed together. Ellie’s quiet snores were much more comforting and relaxing. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Do not!” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes, Ellie, you do!” She chuckled again before a wave of dizziness washed over her, “Ugh, no laughing. That made me feel awful.” She grimaced sickly, closing her eyes to stop the room from spinning like a mad carousel. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’ll get your water.” Ellie said as she sat up slowly, the cool air breezing over her bare arms. She chugged most of her bottle before passing Dina her own. When Dina didn’t move to take it, Ellie waved it in front of the other girls face, “You’re gonna have to sit up, Dina. You can’t drink it lying down.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina whined like a small child having a tantrum, “Can you get me a straw so I don’t have to move?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Dina, you don’t have straws. Save the turtles and all that, remember?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie was met with another exasperated whine, but the girl did roll onto her back, slowly, before letting Ellie guide her into a sitting position. “Fuck me,” Dina bought a hand to her head tentatively, “My fucking head. Why didn’t we eat anything before drinking?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie shrugged and urged her to drink some more. “You remember everything?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yep.” The dark haired girl tipped the bottle to her lips, taking slow gulps, unsure of how her body would cope with so much liquid. “You?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Mhmm,” Ellie hummed, leaning back against the headboard, “I remember you making a mess of yourself on my leg.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina let out another groan, slowly mirroring Ellie’s sitting position against the headboard, “You’re never gonna let me live that down, are you?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Nope.” The taller girl laughed, grazing her fingers over Dina’s forearm, “But I’m not complaining. It was fucking hot.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina rolled her eyes, but regretted it immediately, the movement sending thumps to the base of her skull. “Bet I don’t look so hot right now?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie’s tired eyes gazed over Dina’s face, “You’re always hot, babe.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Since when did you start calling me babe, babe?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I can stop, if you uh, don’t like it.” Ellie said, fiddling with her fingers like she always did when her bashful side came out. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina slapped Ellie’s hands apart, “No, I like it.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Heh, okay. You’re pretty aggressive this morning.” Ellie commented, moving her arm to scratch an itch at the base of her neck. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s what happens when you get a girl all riled up and leave her hanging.” Dina huffed, her body suddenly reminding her of how sexually frustrated she currently was. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“If I make you breakfast, will you forgive me?” Ellie gave her the puppy dog eyes, making Dina’s heart flutter. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“Yes. And bring more water, please.” She put on a sweet voice, enticing Ellie into bringing her more hangover supplies. “And I like my eggs scrambled, with </span> <span class="s2"><em>lots</em> </span> <span class="s1">of black pepper.” </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie rolled her eyes and planted a kiss on Dina’s cheek before rolling out of bed, slowly getting to her feet and stretching. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina’s aching and tired eyes ran over Ellie’s body, paying particular attention to her toned back, watching as the muscles beneath her skin shifted in a way that made her want to kiss every inch of Ellie’s back; or rake her fingernails down it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You want your pyjamas?” Ellie asked, walking over to Dina’s chest of drawers. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Did you bring your sweats and hoodie?” Dina pulled up the covers to hide her smirk. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie stared at her for a moment, before letting an exaggerated sigh leave her mouth, “Yes.” She bent down to dig into her duffle bag. “Here you go.” She handed Dina the light grey sweats and the dark hoodie. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Ellie left to make breakfast, Dina sighed and as slowly as humanly possible, slipped into Ellie’s hoodie and sweats. They were warm, comfortable, and smelt just like Ellie. A content sigh slipped her lips as she took in the pleasant aroma; the lingering scent of an aftershave or cologne she’d never smelt before, as well as a faint smell of coffee, no doubt Joel’s doing. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She sat and just contemplated her and Ellie’s relationship for a moment. It was as clear as day that they were attracted to each other, comfortable in each other’s presence and had a connection. They trusted each other immensely, too. Ellie had told her of her trauma and childhood in foster care, opening up her wounded heart to allow Dina to start filling in the fractures. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina’s mind flitted to the previous night, remembering Ellie leaning over her, her hand pinning her to the bed, and the warmth of her weight on top of her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Any doubt about Ellie’s intentions with her washed away, remembering Ellie’s words; </span> <span class="s2"> <em>I want it to be special. </em> </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie was serious about their relationship, and so was Dina; they may as well make it official. Plenty of the kids from school had seen them holding hands or expressing affection, they probably assumed they were together anyway. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina decided to stop letting her mind wander, less she got herself riled up again at the thought of being pinned beneath Ellie’s weight. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">She clambered for her phone that was resting on the bedside cabinet, which had 2 messages. 1 from Jesse at 3:47am that read, </span> <span class="s2"> <em>Hi, D, happy for you and El. For real. Me and Ollie got Emily home safe, shared a taxi. See you Monday</em> </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Dina typed a quick reply back to him, thanking him and Ollie for escorting Emily home. She opened up Emily’s message next: </span> <span class="s2"> <em>Jesse and Ollie got me home okay, I don’t remember everything but can you make sure to thank Ellie again for me? Hope your hangover isn’t as bad as mine x </em> </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina’s hangover was bad, one of the worst she’d ever had, but probably didn’t compare to Emily’s. Wine drunk was bad enough, but wine drunk and mixing with spirits was just an invitation for an early death. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She decided to scroll through Instagram whilst she listened to Ellie pottering around in the kitchen. She scrolled through a few pictures that had been taken at the party, laughing to herself when she spotted Ollie doing the cha-cha slide in the background of one of the photos. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie kicked the door open, balancing a try stacked with breakfast foods in her hands. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina locked her phone and crossed her legs, giving Ellie enough room to sit opposite her. “Smells good. I didn’t even know you could cook.” She jabbed teasingly, grabbing the knife and fork from the tray. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I can make good toast. The eggs were a guess, I just copied what I’d seen Joel doing with them. Hopefully they won’t kill you.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You weren’t kidding when you told me you lived off of toast and protein bars, huh?” The dark haired girl commented as she set the plate of food in her lap. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Nope. Joel likes to cook, but most of the times I try and help out he just tells me to get lost.” Ellie laughed a little, emptying her second water bottle. “Speaking of Joel, I better call him before he calls me.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie called Joel, setting her phone on the bed, on loudspeaker so Dina could hear whilst she ate. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s2">“Ellie?” </span> <span class="s1">Joel’s voice crackled through the phone speakers. </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey, Joel. Just calling to let you know me and Dina haven’t died.” Ellie glanced at Dina, who put two thumbs up in reply, silently indicating that she was well and alive, even with a deadly hangover. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Well that’s good to hear, kiddo. Glad you guys are still breathin’. Anything interesting happen or was it just your average teenage party?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie and Dina shared a look, both of their minds flashing to the previous night, entwined with each other on top of Dina’s bed. “Uhhh, not really. I... kinda got into a fight.” She was trying to better, after all, so telling Joel was probably the right thing to do. If he found out by the bruise on her cheek, he’d be pissed. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Ellie...”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina couldn’t really tell if he was pissed off, disappointed or upset; he was kind of hard to read, much like Ellie, but Ellie seemed to know what tone Joel was using. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It wasn’t like that, Joel. I swear. Some creep was pressuring mine and Dina’s friend - Emily - and he wouldn’t leave her alone even when she’d said no. I didn’t even start the fight, he swung for me first.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">An audible sigh was heard from the phone, “</span> <span class="s2">Alright, I believe you. You’re still in one piece?”</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Just a bruise, that’s it.” She replied as she leant over to take a slice of toast off of Dina’s side plate. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“How’s Dina? Hope you and your big ego looked after her all night.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina leant towards the phone, thankful her head didn’t pound too much at the movement, “I’m good thank you, Joel. And yes, she took good care of me.” She winked at Ellie, causing a blush to creep up on freckled cheeks. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Glad to hear you’re both okay. Would you be up for coming over next week, Dina? It’s my girlfriends birthday next week and we’re having a little family get together, would be nice if you could come.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie raised a brow at Dina, who nodded her head as much as her aching neck would allow her, “That would be lovely, thank you, Joel.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Well, I’ll pick you up around seven then, Ellie?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sure,” She said through a mouthful of toast, “Bu-bye, dude.” She ended the call and finally swallowed the toast.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina shook her head in amusement, “You really need to stop talking with your mouth full of food.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Don’t you think I’m sexy?” Ellie wiped an imaginary tear away from her eye. “For 3 dollars a month, you can sponsor foster kids, where they will receive supportive training to acquire the skills of table manners, and manners in general.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina rolled her eyes, “Don’t be blaming your upbringing for your awful manners, Ellie.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Upbringing? Never heard of it.” She teased, offering a small smile. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I honestly dread to think what you were like before Joel adopted you. You’re infuriating enough now, you must have been insufferable as a kid.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Making fun of the foster kid now? That’s low.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh, I have plenty of things to make fun of about you, El. Plenty.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Eat your food, dumbass.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">————-</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Their hangovers had mostly cleared up; the headaches were gone but they both felt a little weak, opting to just chill out on the couch and watch Netflix all day. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina had her head resting on Ellie’s shoulder, enjoying the feeling of Ellie’s arm wrapped around her and keeping her warm. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">They were watching Tattoo Fixers, a show about elite tattoo artists covering up shitty tattoos; and boy, were some of them fucking </span> <span class="s2">awful. </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina’s comfortable state was startled when Ellie started to laugh, her shoulder jolting Dina’s head uncomfortably, “I’m sorry but who in their right mind would get a live laugh love tattoo right above their junk?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina huffed and pressed her head back hard into Ellie’s shoulder, annoyed that she’d been jostled, “Stop moving. I’m comfortable.” She grumbled, tightening the blanket around herself more. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“Sorry,” Ellie replied sarcastically, “How are you </span> <span class="s2"><em>still</em> </span> <span class="s1">grouchy? You said you felt better.” </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I do, but I don’t like my precious head being bounced into your bony shoulders.” The dark haired girl mumbled, pulling her hand out of the blanket to run her hand over Ellie’s tattoo. Ellie sighed at the feeling of Dina’s nimble fingers skimming across her skin. “What made you want a tattoo?” Dina asked as she took in the design of leaves for the hundredth time. She’d never really liked tattoos that much, but Ellie’s suited her; she couldn’t imagine Ellie without it. Ellie with ten fingers didn’t sit right in her mind, either. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie’s mouth twisted before she spoke, “Always wanted one I guess. But I wanted to cover this up,” She turned her arm, revealing the inside of her forearm, where Dina could see a patch of wrinkled and raised skin. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina brushed her fingertips over it, feeling every small bump and rough patches, “What happened?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s just a chemical burn. I was snooping around in the garage of one of the foster homes and accidentally burnt myself with it. Was kinda dumb of me.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I don’t understand how you’re so clumsy all the time.” Dina’s snickered, ghosting her fingers up and down Ellie’s arm. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m not that clumsy!” Ellie protested, moving to pause the television. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“Oh really?” Dina said as she pushed herself off of Ellie’s shoulder, “I saw you trip over </span> <span class="s2">nothing </span> <span class="s1">in your second week of school, you fell up the stairs at your house because you didn’t lift your foot enough for the next step, and you tripped over my rug last night. And again this morning - you think I didn’t see but I did, dumbass.” She snickered at Ellie’s adorable, embarrassed blush. </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That was because I was hungover,” Ellie protested weakly. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina shook her head, amused, “Whatever you say, dumbass. You’re all gangly, that’s probably why you trip over everything.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh, you’re body shaming me now, I see how it is.” Ellie faked offence, putting on her best sad face. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You are a bit of weird shape, El. I don’t know how you can be so lanky but have muscle at the same time, you’re like one of those weird science experiments that defies the odds.” Dina replied seriously, picking up one of Ellie’s wrists and shaking her entire arm as if she were trying to get a bug off of her. “Your arms are freakishly long.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie snatched her arm out of Dina’s grasp, “You can say what you like about me, doesn’t change the fact that you wanted me and my lanky appendages last night.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina hummed, slowly pulling the shared blanket off of them and climbing into Ellie’s lap, straddling her. Dina smiled at the groan Ellie released when Dina gripped her hair, “You know I’m kidding, I love your lanky arms.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie responded by sneaking her hands under the hoodie Dina had borrowed from her and splayed her fingers over Dina’s waist. “No, you’ve said what you’ve said now, no going back.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina bumped her nose to Ellie’s, “Is there any way I can make you forgive me?” Dina whispered, her breath warm on Ellie’s face. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie hummed, tightening her grip on Dina’s hips, “There is one thing...” She trailed off as she pressed her lips firmly against the other woman, enjoying the feeling of warm skin under her palms. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina’s hands found Ellie’s face, pulling her closer. A quiet groan escaped the taller girls mouth as Dina moved to press firm kisses against her jawline, slowly moving down to Ellie’s exposed neck. She grinned into the warm skin when felt Ellie writhing slightly beneath her weight. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina nibbled at Ellie’s ear, breath hot against her neck. Ellie had had all the pleasure of teasing the other girl, now it was Dina’s turn, “You don’t like this, do you?” Dina whispered into Ellie’s ear, making the girl beneath her shudder. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I don’t know what you mean.” She said shakily, slipping one hand from Dina’s waist up to her back, lifting the hoodie slightly. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“This. Being beneath me, not being able to move.” Dina’s lips found Ellie’s neck again and it vibrated under them as Ellie whined, an unknown noise that sent arousal straight to Dina’s stomach. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“</span> <span class="s2">Fuck, </span> <span class="s1">Dina.” She tightened her grip on Dina’s hip when Dina started to move them, agonisingly slow. The girl on top of her bit her neck, hard enough to leave a mark. </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Not nice is it? Being pinned down and not being able to do anything about it.” The sultry whisper that came from Dina made Ellie’s body feel weak. She watched with lust clouded eyes as Dina bought her face back to hers. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Something sparked within Ellie, and Dina barely had any time to register it as Ellie had somehow forcefully flipped them, Dina’s back lying flat out on the couch as Ellie’s hands pinned both of her arms above her head. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What were saying just now?” Ellie said smugly, holding tighter as Dina started to struggle, “It’s not nice?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina hadn’t even released how much her breathing had sped up, her chest rising and falling quickly, her lungs searching for oxygen as if she were being strangled. “You’re fucking infuriating.” She panted, trying and failing to move her arms. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Maybe. But have you met you?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They stared at each other for a moment. Ellie’s smug smirk was downright disrespectful to Dina, she wished she could swipe it straight off of her face. However, the shorter girl knew Ellie would overpower her every time - that angered her, but turned her on more than anything. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie bit her bottom lip, drinking in the sight of Dina’s heaving chest and flushed face. “You’re so hot.” She breathed out, “As good as you look in my hoodie, I want it off of you.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Then do it.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“With pleasure,” She released her hold on Dina’s wrists before sliding her hands under the hoodie, over Dina’s bare stomach. Dina was just about to sit up so Ellie could tear it off of her, until... </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie’s fucking phone started ringing. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie groaned frustratedly, knowing exactly who it was. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina gave her a desperate look, eyes pleading and lustful, which was pointless because Ellie had shifted off her to answer her phone. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey, Joel.” She said breathlessly, desperately trying to make her voice sound normal, but her pounding heart and twisted stomach said otherwise. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Hey kid, I’m outside.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie’s whole body slumped as she glanced over at the clock on the wall and realised it was indeed 7PM, time to go home. Back home where there was warmth in her bed, no Dina to kiss and cuddle. “Alright I’ll be 2 minutes, just need to get my stuff.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina picked up on Ellie’s defeated voice, “To be continued?” She said flirtatiously, standing up from the couch. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie sighed shakily, her heart still racing. “His timing is fucking terrible.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina started to adjust the cushions on the sofa, neatening them up whilst Ellie ran upstairs to get her things. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie was back a flash, her face a little less flustered than before. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?” Ellie said bashfully, all of her sexual dominance from before washing away. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina nodded and smiled warmly at her, “Tomorrow.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie went to open the door, but Dina put a hand on her shoulder, “At least kiss me goodbye!” She said said and leaned up to peck Ellie’s lips.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie looked almost conflicted for a moment, making Dina start to worry. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Be my girlfriend?” Ellie blurted out, her hand still tightly wrapped around the door handle. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina was taken aback at the outburst, but a smile soon creeped up on her face. “Are you gonna ask me properly?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie sighed, releasing the handle so she could look straight into Dina’s eyes. Dina thought she looked adorably nervous. “Will you... will you be my girlfriend?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina jubilantly threw her arms over Ellie’s neck, kissing Ellie’s freckled face over and over, “Yes, stupid. Of course I’ll be your girlfriend.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie grinned ear to ear, glee and excitement exploding in her chest, “I’ll see you tomorrow.” She leant forward to kiss Dina quickly. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“See you tomorrow, </span> <span class="s2"><em>girlfriend</em>.” </span></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>First of all, here is a link to IamTheAnon’s twitter. They’ve done a few drawings inspired by my fic. Check them out! Feels amazing to see the scenes come to life! https://twitter.com/MikanRopp/status/1290708736223272960 </p><p>I saw a YouTube comment somewhere that said that Ellie had “grossly long arms” and now I can’t stop noticing how long her arms are. Not complaining, by the way. </p><p>Damn these girls be pining over each other so badly they almost have sex four times in three days. </p><p>Thanks for reading! (Also kudos to anyone who noticed the laganja reference in chapter 15’s summary).</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. she said you’re dumb</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Just two girlfriends being girlfriends</p><p>Joel attempts to give Ellie the talk. It doesn’t go well for him. </p><p>(Also please google ‘wank bank’ if you don’t know what it means. It’s referenced somewhere in this chapter and it’ll probably confuse you if you don’t know what it means. Think it’s British slang?)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“</span>
  <span class="s2">Well that’s a shiner.” Joel commented as Ellie took her seat in the truck, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel to the beat of the country music that played softly in the background. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Don’t worry about it, it’s barely a scratch.” Ellie replied as she rubbed her bruised cheek, having actually forgotten about it until Joel mentioned it.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">They started driving, Ellie telling him about the party and what went down. She knew Joel wasn’t mad at her, after all she was sticking up for someone who was being harassed. Plus, she didn’t start the fight, and had stopped it once she was sure the creep was going to back off. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“What the hell you wearin’ shorts and a t-shirt for, anyway? It’s freezing tonight.” He asked gruffly as he turned a corner. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“I let Dina borrow my hoodie and sweats, this is the only other stuff I packed.” The Adidas shorts and thin t shirt didn’t do much to fight off the biting cold. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Ahh, you lettin’ her steal your clothes now? You’ll never get them back, you know.” He chuckled to himself as he reminisced about his teenage romance with Sarah’s mother. He’d let her borrow a jacket or hoodie and would either never see it again, or she’d wear them and claim them as her own. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">The teenager guessed she should probably tell him that she and Dina were officially together. He basically acted like they were, so it wouldn’t change anything. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">It was so refreshing to be able to talk to him about it without worry of what he’d say. She truly didn’t deserve him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Me and Dina are together,” She started, fiddling with her hands but keeping her gaze locked onto him, “She’s my girlfriend. I asked her today. And she said yes.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">She watched his smile get wider, “I’m proud of you, kiddo. She’s a nice girl.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“I-I really like her.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“I know.” He chuckled to himself softly, “I knew before you even told me.” He watched a content smile spread onto his daughters face, “But... You know what that means,” he warned, “Door open when she’s around, okay?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Ellie groaned, embarrassment creeping up into her cheeks and reddening her ears, “Yes, Joel.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“And uhm,” He grunted uncomfortably, “Make sure you, you know, be safe an’ all...” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Ellie groaned again, hands up to her face in an attempt to hide her embarrassment, “Joel I can’t exactly get her pregnant, can I?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“No, you can’t but uhh, you know, don’t do anything ya’ll don’t feel 100% comfortable with, make sure there’s consent both ways, um, all that.” He hated talking about it, he wanted to crawl up into a hole, but he was her parent after all. It needed to be done. He didn’t even have previous experience to go off of; Sarah had been much too young to suffer ‘the talk’. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Yes, Joel, I get it. Please can we stop talking about it.” She said into her hands, hating herself that she’d even allowed Joel to give her ‘the talk’. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Of course,” He said quickly, “But uh, if you need advice with... bedroom stuff-“ </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“I will absolutely not come to you about it. I’ve heard you and Esther and it was no longer than 2 minutes.” The memory washed over her in the most unpleasant way, sending an uncomfortable shiver up her spine. It had been the worst two minutes of her entire life. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Ahum, err, excuse me?” It was Joel’s turn to be awkward now, his beard not being able to hide his pained face. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“You heard me.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“This conversation is over now.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Good.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Great.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Neat.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Do you always gotta get the last word in?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Yes.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">————-</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Ellie felt nervous, but excitement bubbled in her chest like a kid on Christmas Eve. She was Dina’s girlfriend, and Dina was her girlfriend. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">They were official; together, dating, girlfriends, partners, whatever - they were together. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">It made her stomach flutter and her heart swell, in the best possible way. She may be acting like a lovesick puppy, but she really didn’t care. Dina - </span>
  <span class="s1">the </span>
  <span class="s2">Dina, popular and loved and beautiful - was </span>
  <span class="s1">her </span>
  <span class="s2">girlfriend. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">But she couldn’t help the nervousness that was settled in the back of her mind. Kids had never been kind to her in the past; picking on her about her looks, her interests, mostly her sexual preference. Her time at the previous school had been hell. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">What if it started again and Dina couldn’t handle it? If it became too much and she decided it wasn’t worth it? </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Ellie felt so conflicted; she knew she should be happy, deserved it even, but the fear of becoming an outcast and the butt of everyone’s jokes again was present in her mind, almost as much as the thought of being Dina’s girlfriend. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">She felt slightly better remembering that a lot of the partygoers hadn’t been phased by it, some of them even commenting on how cute they were together. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>This school isn’t the same. Things will be better. They have to be. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Phantom pain slowly spread through her missing fingers, aching and burning as if she held them in hot water. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">She walked downstairs, her dominant hand squeezing the stubs as she descended the stairs. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Joel, as always, was sat at the counter sipping some coffee, chatting to Ester about something. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Joel eyed her as she entered the kitchen area, eyes falling to her hands, “Everything okay, kid?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Yep.” She forced out through clenched teeth, “Phantom pain.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Is there anything we do?” Esther asked, concerned. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Ellie shook her head, “Nope. It’ll pass.” She said, words short, squeezing harder as the pain became more than uncomfortable. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">It was still strange to her to feel the pain, despite how common it was. It was completely normal for people with missing appendages to feel it, but she felt like she could never get used to it; the feeling of discomfort or tingling in areas that weren’t even on her body anymore. On average she felt the sensations a few times a week, but the pain hadn’t been this bad for a while. She mostly got strange tingles and itching, rarely experiencing pain. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“You sure you’re alright?” Joel went to move up from his seat.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Honestly, it’s fine. Not like you can stick a bandaid on it.” She ground out again, moving to take the spare seat beside Joel. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Been a while since you’ve had it this bad.” Joel commented as he looked over her with concerned eyes, “How does it feel?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Ellie let our a frustrated groan, “Hard to describe. Burning, mostly.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Would putting them in cold water help?” Joel suggested, earning a scoff from Ellie. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Joel my fingers aren’t even fucking there, why would that help?” She half laughed, half grunted. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Esther chuckled into her mug at Ellie’s outburst, earning a glare from the bearded man. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Just tryin’ to help.” He murmured as he lifted his own mug. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“As much as I appreciate it old man, I don’t even know how to stop it. It will go away on its own, eventually.” She finally released her grip on the stumps, clenching and unclenching her first to see if the movement would make any difference. Nothing changed. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Try to distract yourself,” Esther suggested, pushing a slice of toast over to her on one of Joel’s ugly plates, “Eat something, talk about something; take your mind off it.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Okay,” She huffed and swivelled on her seat to face Joel, “We need a new dinner set, Joel. These plates are so fucking ugly, every time I see them I feel the need to throw up. They’re awful, I have no fucking clue what possessed you to buy these. And whilst we’re talking about your ugly-ass plates, you should get rid of that shitty rug in the hallway. I trip over it almost daily, the colour is horrendous, even Dina felt conflicted by it. It upsets me to look at it everyday, but not as much as looking at these hideous pieces of shit.” She ended her rant by pointing at the dinner plate, where the toast lay cold. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Joel raised a brow, “You feelin’ better after all that?” He nodded towards her hands, which were now lay on the countertop, one each side of the plate. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Ellie had actually forgotten about the pain midway through her rant, “Yeah, actually.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Esther giggled into her mug again. She’d always loved watching the two interact, there was just something about the dynamic relationship that not only amused her, but amazed her. How two people who had only known each other for just under five years could have this special kind of friendship was unknown, yet remarkably beautiful.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“The plates aren’t that bad, Ellie. And the rug is staying, too.” He grumbled as he took Ellie’s plate, examining it and turning it in his hands. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Joel, they’re ugly.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“No, they ain’t.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“They are. And the rug is a deathtrap. And it’s ugly. Like the plates.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Esther laughed at their exchange, setting her empty mug to the side as she spoke, “Joel, I have to admit... The rug is a bit unsightly.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“See,” Ellie said in a snarky tone, “Esther gets it. You should listen to your girlfriend.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Joel mumbled something under his breath, and neither women could hear it. The bearded man cleared his throat, “I guess the rug is... old. Why don’t you help pick out a new one?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Ellie scoffed, “Esther has taste, unlike you. She’d probably pick a better one than me, anyway.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Joel knitted his eyebrows together, “Ain’t most gay people into interior design, anyway? This should be right up your ally.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Yeah, gay men, Joel. </span>
  <span class="s1"><em>Men</em>. </span>
  <span class="s2">Definitely not up my alley.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">—————-</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Later, Ellie stood anxiously at her usual spot in the hallway, fiddling with her fingers inside her hoodie pocket. It was one that Joel had gotten her for her Christmas a few years ago, light grey in colour, with the brand logo stamped onto the back. She couldn’t wear her favourite hoodie because her girlfriend - holy shit, it felt good to say that - had claimed the garment as her own, refusing to give it back to its rightful owner. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Some students walked the halls, passing her in different directions. So far, no dirty looks, no jabs or digs at her, nothing. That was a good start, but she still had the entire day ahead of her. A lot could change in a few hours. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Familiar arms wrapped around the auburn haired girl from behind, engulfing her in a tight embrace. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“What are you looking so stressed for?” Dina said as she released Ellie, allowing the taller girl to turn around to meet her eyes. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Just thinking. I had some bad phantom pains this morning so I’ve not had the best start to the day.” Ellie replied, offering Dina a small smile. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Is she wearing my sweats? Fuck she looks good. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“I know what will make it better!” The shorter girl’s reply was flirtatious, but like most of the time, it went straight over Ellie’s clueless head. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Well, I’ve tried a lot of things, like dunking my hand in cold water and-“ </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“I’m talking about your day, dumbass, not your hand.” Dina said, shaking her head in amusement at her girlfriend’s cluelessness. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Oh,” Ellie felt her hands stop moving in her pocket, “Please elaborate.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Dina rolled her eyes and planted a kiss on Ellie’s lips. The shorter woman couldn’t help her own smile as Ellie beamed at her, teeth and all. “See? You’re smiling, I’ve made your day already.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Okay, I admit, I feel better.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">The school bell rang, signalling it was time to get to class. Dina pursed her lips, staying firmly in her place beside Ellie. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Well?” Dina cocked a brow, looking expectantly at the taller girl. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Well what?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Aren’t you gonna kiss me goodbye?” Dina smirked. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Ellie rolled her eyes, “Really?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Dina nodded enthusiastically. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Another roll of her eyes, Ellie pressed a chaste kiss to Dina’s lips. “Happy now?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Yes. Now get to class before Mr Birch beats your ass.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Classes passed agonisingly slow, like most days. Ellie couldn’t really comprehend what was happening; still no abuse thrown at her or disgusted glances. Nothing. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">People had seen her and Dina at the party, there had been other students in the hallway when they had kissed. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Were they all saving their harsh words for lunchtime? Or after school? The auburn haired girl couldn’t help but feel on edge. She felt like running, hiding away before the inevitable happened. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">She felt pathetic, being so scared over some kids and their words. She never held any fear in a fist fight; but words, words could fucking hurt. Words could hurt so much that eventually anger took its place, feral and untamed, on the verge of snapping. She hoped she never ventured to that dark place again. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">All that fear washed away as she rounded the corner and spotted her girlfriend against the lockers. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">As always, she looked beautiful. A rush of emotions tore through her body, filling her with hope. The world could throw whatever it wanted at her, but with Dina, she knew she’d be alright. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">She greeted Dina with a kiss to her cheek, earning a delighted smile from the slightly shorter girl. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Come on,” Dina entwined their fingers, her left hand slipping easily into Ellie’s larger one, “Jesse’s got food for us already.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Hand-in-hand, they walked to the cafeteria whilst Ellie listened to a story Dina was telling about how she fell off a skateboard when she was 12. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Ellie was listening, she was really was, but the hallway felt like it was getting smaller and smaller with each step they took, slowly but surely boxing her in, trapping her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">They were gonna walk into the lunch hall, and people were going to laugh at her, call her names, throw things at her. Her chest felt tight, each thump of her heart echoing in her ears painfully. Flashes of her torturous years at school plagued her mind; sitting alone with no friends to confide in, whispers echoing around her, faggot sprayed in bright red paint over her locker. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Hey.” Dina stopped them just as they reached the door, “You okay, El?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“I-I’m scared.” She whispered quietly, ashamed at her pathetic display of weakness. Her inner saboteur screamed at her to get a grip, to stop being such a wimp over something as pathetic as holding her girlfriends hand in the lunch hall. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“It’s gonna be okay, I promise.” Her voice was reassuring, the smoothness of it soothing Ellie’s throbbing temples. “And even if it’s not, you have me. You have our friends. You don’t have to face anything alone ever again.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Okay.” She breathed out, squeezing Dina’s hand to indicate she was ready to go through the door. Truly, she didn’t feel ready; but she had to try. For Dina, for Joel, but most importantly, for herself. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">The walked in... and nothing. No harsh looks, no malicious jabs, no nothing. No one gave them a second glance. Ellie felt her chest loosen significantly, relief seeping into her body like a drug kicking in to its full effect. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Ellie spotted Ollie waving at them, alerting them to the whereabouts of their table. Dina pulled her along, her grip no looser than it been since her dainty hand slipped into Ellie’s. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Got this for you, Ellie.” Jesse said as he handed her a protein bar he knew she liked, “I figured you wouldn’t bring lunch, or buy any lunch.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Thanks, Jesse.” She said gratefully, tearing open the packet. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Everyone feeling fresh after yesterday’s hangover then?” Ollie asked as he retrieved his own protein bar and a shake bottle from his bag. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Dina and Ellie shared a quick glance, their minds flitting to their steamy make out session on the couch. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“I felt so shit that I had to get Ellie to make me breakfast in bed.” Dina laughed at her own misfortune. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Good for you, I couldn’t even touch food until 7PM.” Emily said, shuddering at the memory of throwing up and a headache so bad she would kill to get rid of it. She glanced at the purple bruise on Ellie’s cheek, “Thanks again for saving me from that asshole, Ellie.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Ellie felt Dina’s hand squeezing her thigh, a small gesture to indicate she was proud of Ellie’s actions that night. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“You don’t need to thank me. I just did what was right. I hate assholes like that.” Ellie replied sincerely, feeling slightly flattered that Emily had thanked her around 3 or 4 times now. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Me and Jesse could’ve roughed him up, I still feel bad that we weren’t there.” Ollie said as he crackled his knuckles. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Where were you guys anyway?” Dina asked as she fiddled with the plastic film over her fruit container. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">The two boys shared a look that held both guilt and pride. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Jesse reached to scratch the back of his neck, “Hooking up with those chicks.” He mumbled, face bashful. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“You were in separate rooms right?” Ellie asked tentatively, earning small laughs from Emily and Dina. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Of course!” Ollie spluttered, “I don’t wanna see Jesse’s dick.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“How long were you guys up there for?” Emily asked, “You missed all of the important bits.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“I don’t know like 5, 10 minutes?” Ollie replied, looking over to his male companion for confirmation. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Dina involuntarily snorted and cupped a hand to her mouth as she laughed. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“What’s so funny?” Ollie scowled at the giggling girl. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“5 minutes? Wow, those chicks must’ve had a great time.” Dina replied sarcastically through her little laughs. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Ellie and Emily caught wind of the situation, trying their hardest to not let a smile present on their faces. The blonde faltered first, shorty followed by Ellie, and they too joined in with the laughter. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">The sheepish look on the boys’ faces was priceless, fuelling the laughter of the girls tenfold. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“How do you know it wasn’t because she finished first?” Jesse countered, embarrassment written across his face as he tried to rectify the situation. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Whatever helps you sleep at night, Jesse.” Emily reposted, struggling to keep her snickers at bay. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“You’re just bullying us now.” Ollie retorted, the blush on his dark cheeks finally starting to reside. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“There are pills that can help with quick draw, you know?” Dina countered, laughter spurting from her mouth the second she finished talking. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">The girls all burst out laughing again, Dina’s head finding Ellie’s shaking shoulder, desperately clinging to her sides when her stomach started to ache. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Emily’s head was on the table as she rapped her fist against it in an effort to calm her throbbing sides. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">After a few very long moments of the girls finally calming down, the laughs transferring into small giggles, Dina spoke again, wiping a tear from her eye, “I’m sorry guys, that was just too funny. I’m sure we’ve all been there. It happens to the best of us.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Emily nodded her head in agreement, “Nothing to be ashamed of.” She confirmed, leaning over to pat Ollie’s arm. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Could’ve been two minutes, now </span>
  <span class="s1">that’s </span>
  <span class="s2">embarrassing.” Ellie said, trying to push down the memories of hearing Joel and Esther going at it for those two slow, agonising minutes. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Suddenly, the protein bar didn’t seem so appetising anymore. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">———— </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">The next few days passed much the same. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Dina would show up to school wearing Ellie’s flannels on some days; they were a little big for her, but suited her well enough that Ellie couldn’t help the stupid heart eyes look every time she saw the other girl. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Dina would take her hand as they walked. After a few days, Ellie started to take Dina’s first, initiating the small hello and goodbye kisses, too. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">It was perfect. Almost like one of those stupid high school romances that Emily and Dina both loved, where the girl finally got to be with the guy she’d been pining over for months. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Except, in this reality, Ellie finally got to be with the woman she’d been hopelessly falling for since the first time they’d met at the beginning of the school year. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">It was like a dream; one that she wished would never end. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">The dark haired girl had such a pull on her heart that it was somewhat scary. Ellie felt so much for Dina, so much that sometimes the butterflies in her stomach or the midnight thoughts of Dina’s body under her hands refused to let her sleep. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">The night of the party, the one that ended in Dina vomiting up an entire nights worth of alcohol, was something she thought about a lot; mostly at night, alone in her bed. Not the vomiting part, because, well that was kinda gross, but the events before it. Where Dina was beneath her, wetness pooling against her bare thigh, Ellie’s name leaving her lips. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">As Dina had predicted, that night had indeed gone into her wank bank. She wasn’t even ashamed of it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">At least she didn’t have to feel guilty about her sinful thoughts drifting towards Dina when she was alone in her bed anymore. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“You’re Ellie right? Dina’s girlfriend?” A dark skinned girl with thick braids stood beside her, pushing herself into the lockers to allow the flow of students to pass by without being an obstruction. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Ellie had seen her around a few times, but had never spoken to her before. She’d caught a glimpse of the pretty girl somewhere on the flashing dance floor at the party, though. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Uhm, yeah. That’s me.” Ellie replied as she straightened up a little. Dina had told her off for slumping too many times in the past week. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">The girl replied with a gleaming, toothy smile, “Dina’s gotta stay after class for ten minutes; it’s her turn to do the clear up. Her phone ran out of charge so she wanted me to send a personal message.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Thanks for telling me-“ Ellie paused as she tried to remember the girls name, but was certain she never actually knew it in the first place. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Aliyah.” She finished for her, offering a smile. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“How did you know where to find me? Or who you were looking for?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Dina’s my lab partner. She kinda never shuts up about you.” Aliyah said with a small smirk, “Besides, everyone knows who you are. You have a bit of a reputation for beating up dicks.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Awkward heat started to crop up on Ellie’s cheeks; not the same kind of fluster Dina caused, of course, but it was a familiar awkward shyness. “You say everyone, but I have spoken to around 10 students at this school, maximum.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Oh, that’s kinda funny.” Aliyah chuckled gently, “You have plenty of admirers that are dying to talk to you. Dina just scares them off.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Uhm-I-I do?” Her hand came to rest on her neck awkwardly, a habit she’d never been able to shake, despite Joel’s scolding. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Dina’s right, you really are fucking stupid.” Her braids swayed as she shook her head in amusement, “Maybe if you went to gym class you would find out. I always hear people talking about you - </span>
  <span class="s1">not </span>
  <span class="s2">in a bad way.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“I have literally just met you and you’re calling me dumb.” Ellie deadpanned, finding this whole exchange extremely strange. She didn’t even know this chick but the other girl was acting if she knew her on a personal level. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“They’re your girlfriends words, not mine.” She held up her hands in a joking way, feigning defence. Her dark eyes were light and friendly, though. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“What other hurtful things does she say behind my back?” Ellie replied jokingly, raising a scarred brow. She played it off cool, but inside she was eager to know how Dina spoke about her to others. She hoped Dina held her in a good light. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Not that Ellie really cared what strangers thought, but the nagging feeling that she might be a shitty girlfriend was a small burden at the back of her head. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Oh, only that you’re insanely dumb.” Aliyah started, snorting laughter when she caught sight of Ellie’s unimpressed expression, “But she said you’re also very sweet and caring; when you want to be.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Ellie couldn’t help the smile that tugged at her lips. She was so pathetically whipped and smitten, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. Hearing that Dina spoke about her to her other friends was heartwarming, especially because everything she said was positive. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Maybe she wasn’t a terrible girlfriend, after all. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“You two are definitely made for each other,” Aliyah said with a disgusted eye roll, “You’re so smitten it’s actually sickening.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“You’re just jealous because you’re single.” Dina chuckled, walking past the other girl and nudging her way under Ellie’s arm. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Aliyah shot the new arrival a playful scowl, choosing to ignore the comment, “I was just telling your girlfriend that she is much more popular than she thinks she is.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“I told you she’s clueless!” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">—————-</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“What did Aliyah mean?” Ellie asked as she held out her hand for Dina to take. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“About what?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“She said that everyone knew me. That there are people who... admire me. It’s the first I’ve heard of it.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“She means people want to fuck you.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Uhm, like who?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“I dunno. Some girls in Aliyah’s gym class apparently think you’re hot.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“I don’t even know these girls.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“You don’t need to know someone to think they’re hot.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“I thought you were pretty hot before you spoke to me.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“I know.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“I still think you’re pretty hot.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Oh shut it, you flatterer.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“You’re the hottest.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“...” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Like, so hot that I’d touch you and catch fire.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Is that your way of saying that I turn you on?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“What-no! No, yes, I mean... Yes.” </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This chapter was mostly a little bit of filler, sorry (not really sorry). </p><p>ALSO, some news... You guys frickin’ love Ellie and Dina making out. So, you’ll get what you want; that’s right, there’s smut coming. When? You’ll have to wait to find out. </p><p>Thank you all for your comments and kudos! Feel free to drop by on my tumblr; bighandsghostfingers.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. are you my mom now?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Happy Birthday Esther! (Also Ellie meets Dina’s mother).</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was Friday, Esther’s birthday. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina and Ellie planned to nip back to Dina’s place before going back to Ellie’s house, since Dina wanted to shower and change before going to the party. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You look and smell fine, Dina.” Ellie said as they approached Dina’s house. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I know I look great, but I had gym last period so I need a shower.” Dina replied, swinging their entwined hands as the arrived at the pathway that lead to Dina’s house. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fair enough. I haven’t done gym in so long I think I forgot how sweaty you can get from it.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You should start actually going to your gym classes you know, don’t want you to lose all that lean muscle, do we?” Came Dina’s flirtatious reply. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Guess not.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh, I forget to tell you, my mom is home.” Dina said quickly, hurrying over to the door when she saw Ellie’s stunned and fearful face.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Wait, Dina I haven’t even prepared for meeting your parents yet!” She yelled, hastily jogging after girlfriend. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina opened the door, kicking off her shoes in a random direction whilst Ellie tried to toe hers off as quickly as possible.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She would’ve dressed up a little more if she knew Dina’s parents were gonna be home! </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The same woman who dropped Dina off at Ellie’s house peered around the corner, “Hi, darling!” She said chirpily, a warm and welcoming smile on her face. “I’m assuming this is Ellie?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hi, mom.” Dina replied as she shucked her coat, “Yeah, this is Ellie.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie’s words were caught in her throat, she wasn’t fucking prepared for this shit! “Uhm, hi Mrs-“ </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh don’t be silly, Ellie, no need for formalities in this house! Just call me Eva.” She was so kind and warm it made Ellie almost uncomfortable. None of her family members were this kind and welcoming, even Esther. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sure, Joel could be kind, but this was something she just wasn’t used to. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay, well it’s nice to meet you, Eva.” She offered a smile, too afraid to say anything else for fear she may say something stupid. Her nervous tendencies often made her do dumb things that she regretted. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Lovely to meet you too, Ellie. It’s nice to put a face to a name. Dina’s always talking about you.” Another tooth rotting grin that made Ellie feel slightly uncomfortable, but welcome in their home. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well, she is my girlfriend, Mom, so of course I’m gonna talk about her.” Dina said casually, biting back a smile and waiting for her mother’s undoubtably ecstatic reaction. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie couldn’t fathom how easy it was for Dina to tell her mother, how easy it slipped from her lips, as if she were just telling her mom what she had for breakfast. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She guessed it was because she’d never had that support and security as a kid. She’d never really had a loving parent that actually cared about her, minus Joel, but she didn’t find him until she was fourteen. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Eva’s face lit up like the night sky on New Years, a beaming smile and happiness gleaming in her dark eyes, “Oh my! Come here, you two!” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She pulled Ellie into a crushing hug first, her arms trapped to her sides as Eva squeezed the life out of her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie was relieved when she pulled away, allowing oxygen to flow back into her lungs. She watched as she held Dina in the same way, Dina’s head poking out from over Eva’s shoulder, giving Ellie a look that the taller girl interpreted as </span>
  <span class="s2">I’m sorry she gets really touchy feely when she’s happy. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I should’ve know you liked her Dina, you never did shut up about her.” Eva laughed as she pulled away. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Alright mom, you can stop crying now.” Dina laughed.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie looked at Eva; she wasn’t crying, but she looked so happy that she looked like she was going to. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Would you like a drink, Ellie?” Eva asked sweetly.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She was kinda thirsty. “Sure, thank you.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Eva led them into the kitchen area, where Dina dropped her bag on a chair and started walking off, “I’m going in the shower, won’t be long!” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie tried fo give her girlfriend a panicked look, begging to not leave her alone with her mother, but Dina’s back was turned and the auburn haired girl could hear her thudding up the stairs. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Fuck. Fuck you, Dina, you can’t just leave me here with your fucking mom who I don’t even know and- </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So, Dina tells me you like comic books and superheroes?” Eva said as she sat down at the oak table, setting two glasses of ice water down on the small serving mat. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Fuck, manners, manners. Don’t swear. No elbows on the table. Don’t slump. Sit up straight, DON’T saying anything dumb. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie shuffled up in the chair, straightening out her back, “Yeah. I tried getting her into them, but she wasn’t having any of it.” She laughed nervously. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fuck, what if Eva was pretending to be nice in front of Dina, but when she got Ellie alone she was gonna give her the ‘don’t you dare hurt my daughter or I will tear you apart’ speech? </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m not surprised, Levi likes superheroes as well and Dina was never interested. More into those smash hit romance movies and romcoms.” She said adoringly as she spoke about her children. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie laughed, fiddling with her fingers under the table, a nervous habit Dina always scolded her for, “She made me watch the Notebook last week. I kind of wanted to die.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Eva chuckled, “She said you also liked cheesy 80’s movies.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah, Joel is really into them, I kind of grew to love them. Can’t beat a good cheese fest sometimes.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Is Joel your brother?” Eva asked, eager to find out more about her daughters girlfriend. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh, no, no,” Ellie stammered, “He’s my dad, kind of. Adoptive father. ‘Dad’ never really stuck so I just use his name.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s sweet,” Eva’s smile was warm, and Ellie felt like she could actually talk to Dina’s mother about a lot of things, she was just so inviting and welcoming. “How long have you been with him?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Uhm, just over four years. He fostered me when I was fourteen. He’s a construction worker, I actually met him whilst he was working on an extension at the foster home I was living in at the time.” Talking about it felt natural; she didn’t know if it was Eva’s calming presence, or she’d finally developed a sense of pride at being a foster child. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It felt good to not have to hide. It felt refreshing. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s lovely, Ellie. My best friends son is a foster child, he’s thirteen now; they adopted him when he was eight and love him like their own flesh and blood. I don’t like the stigmata that adopting older kids is a bad idea, it’s absurd.” She sounded serious now, her smile faltering for the first time, “It’s refreshing to know that the stigma is complete bogus. Just wish more people could see it.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie felt a smile pulling on her face, “It was the best thing that ever happened to me, when I found out I couldn’t believe it.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They chatted about random things for the next half an hour, from movies to Dina’s childhood, Netflix suggestions and even music. The conversation flowed so easily, no doubt because of how gentle and warm Dina’s mother was. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So you said Joel is a construction worker?” Eva said as she poured herself a glass of wine, the same that Dina had been drinking at the party with Emily. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s right. It’s his own business, he does a lot of garden fix ups too. Basically anything where he can build something.” Ellie replied as she finished her glass of water. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I could do with a new shed, Dina’s dad has been complaining it for months now. Samuel has never been good at building things, he’s much better with technology.” She chuckled as she took a sip from the deep crimson wine. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I could give you Joel’s details if you want, I’m sure he’d do it for a good price. It would be no trouble, he loves building stuff; apart from when his back starts giving out.” Ellie snickered, remembering the countless times she’d seen Joel struggle to get up from the couch after a long day. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Do you ever stop bad mouthing Joel?” Dina’s voice came from behind her, towel drying her hair as she padded barefoot into the kitchen. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie sneered at her playfully, keeping her gaze strictly on Dina’s face, and not on her legs, where she wore those very short goat pyjama bottoms. She was sure Eva wouldn’t approve of Ellie eye-fucking her daughter right in front of her. “He’s an easy target, okay? You know that.” She quipped back.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She giggled lightly, “Some of his decisions are... questionable.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They both laughed for a few seconds, whilst Eva watched them admiringly; she couldn’t really laugh along since she had never met Joel, but the girls’ laughter intrigued her nonetheless. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Eva stood up to walk over to the wine rack, “You wanna take a bottle to give to the birthday girl?” Eva asked as she inspected the full rack, humming as she looked over the labels.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It almost made Ellie dizzy seeing how many bottles of wine this family owned. Sure, Joel had a few bottles of whiskey, but not an entire 30 bottle rack. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Was Dina’s mother an alcoholic? Or your typical wine mom, who posted statuses on Facebook like<em> ‘</em></span>
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Size really does matter! Who doesn’t want a large... Glass of wine! LOL.’ </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sure, why not.” Dina said as she padded over to her mother to help her pick out a bottle, before turning back to Ellie, “What does Esther drink?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie shrugged, wracking her brain to remember what she had seen Esther drinking in the past. “I honestly don’t know. Think she likes red?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Eva hummed before triumphantly holding a bottle to her face, “This one will be perfect!” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She placed it on the oak table beside Ellie before moving back over to the kitchen sides, reaching on top of the fridge for something Ellie couldn’t see from her seated position. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Dina, do you want take some of this coffee too? Your Dad keeps saying he will drink it eventually but it’s sitting up here gathering dust.” She tutted, shaking her head as she retrieved the jar of Bozo’s Coffee Beans. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie laughed, “Joel loves that stuff.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Good! He can take it! I’m sick of seeing it up there!” Eva pushed the jar over to Ellie.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Thank you for the wine and the coffee, I’m sure they’ll both be chuffed with them.” Ellie said politely, picking up the coffee jar to examine it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Do you want to take a bottle as well, Dina? My wine crate is coming in the next few days so I’m sure I won’t miss an extra bottle.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2"><em>Oh, she’s definitely a wine mom</em>, </span>
  <span class="s1">Ellie said to herself in her mind, biting back a smirk. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina didn’t miss the slight upturn of Ellie’s lips, but chose to ignore it, turning to face her mom instead, “Sure why not, thanks!” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After a few more moments of Eva pottering around the kitchen, Dina nudged Ellie’s shoulder, raising her eyebrows, signalling for them to go upstairs. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Mom, we’re gonna go get ready. Won’t be long!” Dina swiped Ellie’s larger hand into her own, dragging her through the living area and upstairs. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When they were in Dina’s room, Dina clicked the door shut behind them. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I can’t believe you just left me there with no warning!” Ellie sneered in a non-malicious manner. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The shorter scoffed, tossing her wet towel into the laundry basket, “It wasn’t bad though, was it?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No, but a bit of warning first would’ve been nice.” Ellie jabbed, crossing her arms over her chest. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina laughed again, making her way closer to Ellie, who stood defiant with a fake frown on her face, “Anything I can do to make it up to you? Say I’m sorry?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie cocked a brow, feeling the slight nervousness creeping up on her when Dina ran a finger down her chest, over her sternum, making her shiver. “Uhm...” Was all should muster when her breath was caught in her throat. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina’s lips were on hers then, soft and firm. Ellie couldn’t help but wrap her arms around the shorter girl, pulling her closer as the kiss deepened.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie could feel Dina’s smug grin against her lips, and it made her even more weak at the knees. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Shouldn’t we-“ another kiss to her lips “get ready?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina sighed dramatically as she pulled away, but kept her hands on Ellie’s shoulders, “You always like to ruin the fun”. She pouted at the taller girl, displaying her upset at having to stop. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I mean, I spent all week hiding that mark you left on my neck from Joel, I don’t fancy hiding another one in front of the whole family, you know?” She tried to act casual but Dina knew that she wanted to continue, knew she was breathless. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I guess you’re right.” She huffed and pouted, looking up at Ellie like a child who had just been scolded for misbehaving. “Not even for five minutes...?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie tried to resist the teasing smile and mischief in Dina’s dark eyes, but was failing miserably as her eyes ghosted over Dina’s mouth, then to her exposed collarbone which was glistening from the water droplets that fell from Dina’s damp hair. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Five minutes. No more.” Ellie demanded, grabbing hold of Dina’s wrists and guiding the smaller girl to the bed. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You know you can’t resist me.” Dina quipped before being gently pushed onto the bed, with Ellie’s entire weight pushing down on her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m just doing it to stop you pestering me.” She deadpanned, trying to be serious but failing miserably, as she allowed herself to kiss Dina’s pulse point.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">——————</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I hope you know it’s not gonna be a good party,” Ellie quipped as Dina swung their entwined hands. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Why not?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie rolled her eyes, “Because it’s just a small get together with a bunch of weirdos. Not even a party. But we’re getting take out, so that’s a bonus. And Joel is paying, which makes it even better.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I do love eating out.” Dina replied, glancing over to Ellie, who had completely missed the joke. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We’re eating at home. Not out.” Ellie said with a frown. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina didn’t even bother to tell her about the stupid joke; her girlfriend could be so fucking clueless at times, Dina didn’t know why it still surprised her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You nervous to meet them?” The auburn haired girl asked, squeezing Dina’s hand just a little. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina shrugged as they walked, “Not really. You have to remember I’m more of a social butterfly than you are, El.” She said teasingly, throwing in her cute nickname to show the comment was only playful banter. “Besides, I’m sure they’ll love me; Joel does.” She would’ve flipped her hair jokingly, but it was scrunched up into the bun that she knew Ellie liked. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What’s not to like, huh?” Ellie said with a roll of her green eyes. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The shorter girl smirked, “Exactly. I am a woman of no flaws.” Dina expected a snort or eye roll from Ellie, but it never came, instead, she was met with an adoring smile that sent flutters into her stomach. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re right. You’re beautiful.” The auburn haired girl’s voice was so sincere, so genuine, that Dina felt her heart swell and her throat go a little tight. She’d been called beautiful before, many times actually, but it never played with her emotions like it did when Ellie said it.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina leaned up to plant a kiss on Ellie’s freckled cheek, “Thank you, El. You aren’t so bad yourself, you know.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">All she got in reply was a bashful smile and a little blush. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They walked in a content, comfortable silence for a few moments. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Is Joel’s girlfriend nice?” Dina asked with interest, trying to envision a woman that would suit being on Joel’s arm. She kind of expected a policewoman, or a social worker of some kind. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie nodded, “Yeah she’s cool. Joel started dating her when I was sixteen. You can imagine my surprise when I was waiting for the bathroom, thinking Joel was taking his time, but then he walked past me. I was so confused.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“And you say your uncle and aunt are coming too?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie smiled, “Yeah, don’t think they’re coming till around eight though. They’re cool, Maria is a badass police officer. She’ll kick your ass if she finds out you’re a stoner.” She teasingly winked at her girlfriend. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina shoved the taller girl, almost knocking her off balance, “I’m hardly a stoner! You’re a hypocrite, too, because you smoke it with me. You stoner.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I didn’t become a stoner until I met you, jackass.” Ellie quipped back, shoving Dina in the same way. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Honestly, we’re the coolest couple in school. We smoke shit together, you’re all tough and hot, and everyone will be jealous that you have me as your girlfriend. We’re the perfect power couple!” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie rolled her eyes, “This isn’t some high school movie, idiot.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Let me live my fantasy okay! We’ll be prom queens for sure.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie didn’t really know if her girlfriend was serious or not. Would people even vote for them to be prom queens? Dina was hot, fucking gorgeous actually, but Ellie was just... Ellie. Nothing special. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But Dina... well Dina was special, one of a kind. Ellie still couldn’t believe that she got to hold Dina’s soft hands, kiss her lips, openly say that Dina was hers and no one else’s. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Truly, Ellie had no idea what Dina saw in her, but whatever it was, she was grateful that Dina would even give her the time of day. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The were coming to the end of the Joel’s driveway now, where his truck sat on a stony surface. Ellie hadn’t spotted Esther’s car on the street; Joel must’ve picked her up. It was likely she left her car at home because she planned on drinking, and would therefore be staying the night. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>I really don’t wanna hear them having birthday sex. Please. I can’t do that shit again. I think I’d rather lose another finger than experience that again. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie reluctantly let go of Dina’s hand, instantly missing the smaller girls hand in hers as she moved to open the door, letting Dina walk in first. ‘Cause she was fucking a gentleman like that. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Dina was inside and toeing off her shoes, Ellie closed the door behind them, not bothering to lock it as Tommy and Maria would be arriving at some point. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey kids!” Joel’s unusually cheerful voice sounded from the kitchen. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The couple made their way over to Joel and Esther, who were both leaning side by side against the kitchen counter. Joel had a whiskey on the rocks, whilst Esther had a glass of red wine. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There was soft music playing in the background, but it wasn’t country or folk; Esther must’ve chosen the playlist for tonight. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Happy birthday, Esther.” Ellie said with a smile, but didn’t move to hug the woman. Showing affection wasn’t her deal, and Esther knew that. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The older woman smiled at the two, “Thank you.” Then a pause, “You must be Dina?” She said with a smile. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina returned the grin, “Thats me. It’s nice to meet you. Have you had a nice day so far?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Esther nodded, turning to look at Joel for a moment before she spoke, “It’s been lovely so far. Met up with some friends, had lunch, caught up with my sister. Joel won’t let me open my gifts until later though.” She glanced at the gruff Texan again, who shrugged his broad shoulders at her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh shit,” Ellie burst out suddenly, turning to dash out of the room upstairs. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The three remaining people in the room looked at each other in confusion. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Joel peered his head over to the staircase, “You know why she just bolted like that?” Joel said to Dina, his brows furrowed and the creases in his forehead deepening. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Beats me.” Dina shrugged, an amused smirk on her face. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A few seconds passed and there was a loud thud from above them, and an exasperated “Fuck!” followed it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Esther and Joel shared a knowing laugh. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“She wasn’t kidding about the rug. You need to let that thing go, Joel. Ellie will end up killing herself if you keep it any longer.” She let out a short laugh, bringing the wine glass to her lips again. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina knew instantly what they were talking about, having seen Ellie trip on the rug once before. After her stumble, Ellie had cursed at the rug as if it understood English, as if it were an actual person. Then the auburn haired girl had a three minute rant about how the rug was so problematic, a danger to the public. It had been incredibly amusing to watch. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie was back a few minutes later, a small stack of poorly wrapped gifts in her arms. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I forgot to wrap them.” Ellie said, looking sheepishly at the shoddy paperwork, “Sorry the wrapping sucks.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina knew Ellie wasn’t sorry, and she was sure Joel and Esther knew it too. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“The wrapping </span>
  <span class="s2"><em>does</em> </span>
  <span class="s1">suck,” Dina chuckled as she picked up one of the smaller gifts and examined it. The paper was stuck down hastily, unevenly, with minimal care and effort. A blind person could have wrapped the gifts better. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I was in a hurry, okay?” Ellie scowled, snatching the present from Dina’s hand and setting it back on countertop. “Besides, why does it matter? She’s gonna open them later anyway.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You at least want them to look decent though.” Joel said, cringing at the stack of gifts. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’d love to see you both try and wrap presents when you have 2 fingers and a thumb that don’t listen to your brain when you need them to.” The auburn haired girl huffed with a scowl, arms crossed over her chest defensively. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yeah, maybe she had been a </span>
  <span class="s2"><em>little</em> </span>
  <span class="s1">careless when wrapping the gifts, but she wasn’t lying; the trauma to her hand didn’t just affect the two missing fingers, but the rest of her hand too. The physio helped her regain control a little, but sometimes tasks that involved two hands were a little difficult. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">For the next 45 minutes, the two couples drank and chatted, with Ellie and Joel bickering over the rug for at least five minutes. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There was a loud knock at the door, disrupting their conversation. Ellie was closest to the door so volunteered to answer it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ah there’s my girl!” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was a voice Dina didn’t know, but the Texan accent indicated that it must be Joel’s brother, otherwise known as Uncle Tommy. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A female voice she also didn’t recognise, but Dina assumed it was the badass police woman auntie that Ellie had described. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie lead the two in, where both new pairs of eyes immediately settled on Dina. Dina wasn’t nervous, but any other person would’ve probably been intimidated by Maria’s stern and squinted eyes. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Who’s this Ellie?” Tommy said teasingly, a slight smirk on his face as he glanced over to his niece. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Tommy, Maria, this is my girlfriend, Dina.” Ellie in an almost toneless voice; she knew they were just pushing, and she also knew that they knew exactly what Dina was to Ellie. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina stumbled when Tommy unexpectedly clapped a hand on her shoulder, but quickly straightened herself up afterwards. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well it’s nice ta meet you Dina!” He exclaimed enthusiastically, before turning to his niece, his hand still firm on Dina’s shoulder, a beaming grin plastered on his face. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Maria rolled her eyes before glaring at her husband, “Tommy let the poor girl go, you’ve only just met her and you’ve already manhandled her.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Tommy shook his head, “Nah, she looks like a tough cookie, she don’t mind! Do you, Dina?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A small laugh escaped Dina’s mouth, “Not at all. It’s nice to meet you both.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Maria smiled in return, looking down the containers in her hands. “I’d have baked more cookies if I knew Ellie had a girlfriend.” She shot a glance at Joel, who just shrugged at her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Figured she’d wanna tell you herself.” The bearded man replied. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The group soon broke off into separate conversations, sharing drinks, picking at the small buffet Joel had set out. It was mostly small nibbles, like chips and dips, a bit of fruit and nuts. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">As it was Esther’s birthday, it was her decision to chose what kind of take out they were having; she chose her favourite, Chinese food. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Whilst they waited for their order, Esther opened her gifts. When she’d opened the gifts from Tommy and Maria, Ellie’s poorly wrapped ones were next. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The auburn haired girl had gifted Esther with a ‘freshly cut grass’ scented candle, a crime drama novel, a Chinese cookbook and some beautifully crafted chopsticks, 5 pairs with all different, intricate designs. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After Dina had given Esther the wine, Joel cleared his throat as he set a small stack of gifts next to his girlfriend. “Well, there ain’t much to open but, uh, I wanted to ask you somethin’.” He began as Esther started to tear away the gift wrap. “Open the little box last.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">For a moment Ellie thought he was going to drop down onto one knee and pop the question, but she knew her adoptive father well enough that he wouldn’t be insinuating marriage just two years into dating her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Esther finally got the small box - which was bigger than the typical engagement ring box, Ellie noted - and the older woman looked confused as she opened it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was a freshly cut door key, nestled in the black polystyrene casing. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Was wondering if you maybe wanted to move in?” Joel offered with a smile slowly creeping onto his face. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Esther returned his smile and wrapped her arms around her partner, pressing a lingering kiss to his bearded cheek. “I would love that, Joel.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Everyone congratulated the couple, sharing hugs (even Dina was subject to hugs all around). </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Does this mean you’re my mom now?” Ellie joked as she sipped from a beer. Everyone laughed at that. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Soon the take out arrived and everyone enjoyed the meal, leaving a small amount of left overs so everyone would have room in their stomachs for the cake and cookies Maria had baked. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Somewhere in the bustle between stuffing their faces with Maria’s delicious cake and cracking open another bottle of wine, Ellie pulled Dina to the side for a moment. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Think you’ve made a good first impression.” Ellie beamed at her, a bit tipsy from the beer she’d drank. Her hand was encasing Dina’s gently as they spoke. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina returned the smile, moving to press a chaste kiss on a freckled cheek, “You’re family is lovely. I’m glad they’ve taken to me so quickly.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was true; she hadn’t been nervous about meeting Ellie’s adoptive family, but they had all done their best to include her in conversations, ask her questions to get to know her and even offered her drinks. Tommy seemed to really like her, taking great interest in his nieces girlfriend. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">None of it felt forced either, as if the Miller &amp; Co family were really, truly, accepting her as one of their own in their odd little family. It made Dina feel incredibly warm, welcome and accepted. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She had gotten on really well Jesse’s family, they were also super inviting and kind, but Ellie’s family felt different. She felt like she’d just slotted in, as if the vacant space had always been reserved for her, like a missing jigsaw puzzle. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">—————-</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s been a nice day, huh?” Dina said as she stripped out her outfit, opting to slip on one of Ellie’s oversized t shirts. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Mhmm,” The auburn haired girl replied, shucking out of her flannel before shedding her t shirt. “Think everyone likes you, not that I ever had any doubt.” Her jeans were removed next, leaving her in just her boxers and sports bra. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina smiled softly at that, “You’re sweet, El. Your family is really nice, too.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie just replied with a ‘hhmp’ as she climbed into the bed, clearly exhausted. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina was beside her a few moments later, wrapping the duvet around her to shield her from the cold. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The couple lay on their sides, facing each other. Dina could see Ellie was tired, no doubt exhausted from her day of endless talking; meeting Dina’s mother, catching up with Tommy and Maria, plus the day of school. Dina was tired too, but her girlfriend looked like she was on the verge of passing out. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You look tired, Ellie. Go to sleep.” Dina said soothingly, her hand resting on the side of Ellie’s face, fingers lazily tracing random patterns into Ellie’s hair in an attempt to lull her off to sleep. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Her green eyes were barely held open, and Dina knew she was struggling to stay awake.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“But I like looking at you.” Came her tired reply. Moments later her eyes were falling shut, unable to keep them open any longer as the exhaustion overcame her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina’s heart melted at the other girls words. “You’re too sweet, El.” She muttered quietly as she continued to movement of her fingers, even though Ellie had already nodded off to sleep. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina actually hadn’t seen a sleeping Ellie until now. Both of them weren’t what you would consider early birds, but Ellie always seemed to fall asleep after her and wake up before her. Or in the off chance the auburn haired girl was still sleeping when Dina woke up, she would usually be curled around Dina’s back so she was unable to see her face. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Seeing Ellie sleeping sent flutters into her stomach. The other girl’s deep set frown was smoothed out and relaxed and the freckles dusted over her cheeks made her look so innocent, as if she hadn’t endured anything even remotely painful or difficult in her life. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Of course, Dina knew it wasn’t true; Ellie’s life hadn’t ever been easy, really. But her peaceful face was convincing enough to someone who didn’t know her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina continued to rub small circles into Ellie’s hair before she started to drift off too, her movements becoming slower and slower until sleep took her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She dreamt of a secluded farm house surrounded by sheep and goats. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Not much to say about this one really! I can imagine Dina’s mother to be super inviting and kind. Next chapter will be a bit of a time skip. Thank you all for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. you’re comfy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Ellie is the little spoon; Christmas passes, Esther moves in, and Ellie takes Dina on their first date.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina awoke to clanging noises coming from downstairs. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Her mind still groggy, feeling a little rough from the alcohol she’d consumed the night before, her eyes opened and she was met with the sight of Ellie’s back. She wasn’t hungover at all, all she needed was a glass of water and a bite to eat and she’d be right as rain again. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina only now released that she had an arm thrown over Ellie’s waist, face pressed into her back. Her legs were tucked up behind Ellie’s and her arm was pinned underneath herself; Dina was certain it was the pangs of numbness that woke her up. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They didn’t quite fit together in this position, Ellie was a little bit too tall for Dina to slot in perfectly behind her, and her head rested against the base of Ellie’s neck, causing Ellie’s hair to tickle her forehead a bit. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sighing contently at the unfamiliar but comfortable position, Dina shuffled closer, nuzzling her head into Ellie’s back as she listened to the taller girls gentle snores. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The gentle snores and slight bustle from downstairs could have easily lulled her back to sleep, but the smell of a fresh cooked breakfast hit her nostrils, making her realise that she was pretty hungry. She didn’t know how that was possible, considering how much she had engorged in the previous day; Chinese takeout and a whole lot of birthday cake and cookies, as well as a bottle of wine. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She could faintly hear voices from downstairs, no doubt Joel and Esther. It wasn’t loud enough to make out the words, but it was them for sure, since Tommy and Maria had left in the early hours of the morning, just after 1am. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ellie.” Dina lightly trailed her fingertips over her girlfriends waist, settling on her hipbone to give it a gentle shake. “Ellie, wake up.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A strangled groan escaped the other girl as she pulled the covers tighter around herself. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ellie. It’s time to wake up now, come on.” She tried again, smoothing her hand up to Ellie’s shoulder, enjoying the warmth of her skin. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No,” The taller girl whined, “I’m too comfortable. Five more minutes, please.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina couldn’t help the giggle that escaped her lips at her girlfriends adorable defiance to get out of bed. Dina opted to oblige, squeezing Ellie’s waist a little tighter and pressing a lingering kiss to her shoulder blade. “You’re so lazy sometimes.” She murmured against warm skin. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Can’t you just let me appreciate being the little spoon for once?” Ellie retorted playfully, shuffling backwards slightly so her lower back was pressing against Dina’s stomach. The freckled girl repressed a sigh from the contact. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina pressed another kiss to Ellie’s shoulder, “Big bad Ellie likes to be the little spoon? You never struck me as the type.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Shut up. Maybe I just don’t like waking up with your hair in my mouth every time.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The dark haired girl smirked into Ellie’s back, “You just don’t wanna admit you like being cuddled. It’s okay, no need to embarrassed, you can’t always present as badass and aloof I guess.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A foot shot out and clipped Dina’s shin, “You’re fucking comfy and warm, okay? There, I said it.” Ellie muttered bashfully, allowing herself to sink further into Dina at her revelation.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re adorable, you know that?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie just huffed, allowing another smirk to split across Dina’s face. As she felt Ellie start to shuffle, the dark haired woman relaxed her grip so Ellie could turn herself around. Before she knew it, Ellie had pushed her onto her back. A strong arm was slotting over the stomach then, and a warm leg was pushed over her thighs. Ellie’s head has settled on her shoulder, her nose pressed into Dina’s neck, taking in the faded scent of the perfume she’d worn yesterday. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina slipped her arm around Ellie’s back, tracing her fingers in random patterns and shapes, earning a content sigh from her girlfriend, “You’re awfully affectionate today, El.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The girl on her shoulder just grumbled, pulling Dina impossibly closer. “You’re comfy.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You really can be a big softie sometimes. I like it. If someone had told me this crucial information when I first met you I’d have called them a liar.” She trailed her fingertips up Ellie’s back and over her shoulder, allowing them to settle in her auburn hair. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“If someone told me you’d end up being my girlfriend I would’ve called them a liar.” Ellie replied sleepily, adjusting her head a little so Dina could access the back of her head a little better. The feeling of Dina’s fingers on her skin and through her hair was so relaxing and set her skin alight in the best way possible. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I mean, I did start flirting with you pretty early on, you were just too stupid to actually realise it.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie pursed her lips for a moment; Dina almost mistook it for a kiss, “I was just a bit overwhelmed that someone as beautiful as you even wanted to talk to me in the first place.” She let herself be vulnerable for a moment, something that was becoming more and more frequent with Dina. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It still baffled her that Dina had chosen her over anyone else at their high school. There were so many others, people who didn’t have baggage from their past, people who had more going for them than she ever would. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But even with her insecurities, she didn’t doubt Dina’s feelings for her. How could she? How could she be unsure of Dina’s feelings when she felt so loved whenever Dina kissed her? How could she feel unsure when she witnessed Dina’s reactions to her touch? </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina hummed quietly, “You don’t give yourself enough credit, Ellie. I saw tons of girls pining over you at Beth’s party, plus there was that tattooed chick who hit on you the second I disappeared. Girls like aloof and mysterious, which is absolutely the vibe you give off.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh, is that why you started talking me then?” Ellie said in a mock offended tone, but it came out rather muffled since her face was once again buried in Dina’s inviting neck. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s one of the reasons, another being that I was insanely attracted to you.” A smile formed over her face at the memories of admiring Ellie from afar in that first week, her intrigued eyes glancing over her figure, taking in as many details as she possibly could whenever she got the chance. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Whatever you say, babe.” Ellie muttered, her mind still hazy from her sleep. “Can we just stay like this forever?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I don’t think I could cope with your knee digging into my thigh forever, but I appreciate that you think I’m a perfect body pillow.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Instead of moving her knee, Ellie pushed herself up and lay completely on the smaller girl, flattening her with her superior weight.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ellie!” Dina squealed in terror at the weight that was pressing her into the bed. “Ellie!” She wheezed, smacking her hands onto Ellie’s back, “I can’t fucking breath, asshole!” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A giggling Ellie finally let up, rolling off the bed completely to stand up and stretch out her aching muscles. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina, as always, took the moment to let her eyes wander and explore over Ellie’s exposed skin. Pale as she was, Dina couldn’t help the rush of heat that ran through her every time she saw Ellie like this. The muscles in her back shifted under her skin as the light from the window revealed the tiny, pale freckles that formed constellations on Ellie’s upper back. Dina wanted to kiss every one of them. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Breakfast?” Ellie said as she slipped on a t shirt before reaching for her sweats. Her hand halted as she caught a glance of Dina’s sad face, her plump lips downturned and eyes longing. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie knew what the look meant. She let out an exasperated sigh and handed the grey sweats to Dina, who’s expression turned from one of sadness to pure glee. “I hope you know you’re never gonna wear these again.” Dina teased with a smirk. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie grinned lopsidedly at her, “They look better on you, anyway.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“They do, but you look hot in them. They’re just too comfy for me to ever give them back to you.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie just rolled her eyes, opting to wear some shorts instead. The morning was cold; she really needed those sweats to keep her warm, but she wouldn’t break Dina’s heart by taking them away from her. It was worth suffering the cold if it make Dina happy. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The couple got ready for the day in a comfortable silence before heading down the stairs. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Morning girls!” Esther greeted them with a smile from the couch. Joel was in the kitchen, cooking breakfast whilst humming to an old Johnny Cash song that spun on the vinyl player. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie flopped ungracefully on the far side of the couch, sinking into the cushions. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You girls sleep alright?” Esther asked as Dina took a seat between the two women. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I slept great.” Dina replied as she got herself comfortable.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“I know </span> <span class="s2"><em>you</em> </span> <span class="s1">did.” Ellie grumbled, “I woke up three times with no blankets.” </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Maybe if you didn’t snore I would be able to sleep peacefully.” The dark haired girl clipped back, shooting a glare at her girlfriend. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie rolled her eyes over dramatically, “You think I’m bad? Wait until you hear Joel. First time I heard it I thought it was one of those thunderstorms without rain.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Esther started to chuckle lightly then, “Ellie’s right. Joel is a nightmare to sleep beside. Almost wish I hadn’t said yes to moving in.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Joel huffed from the kitchen, “You regrettin’ it already? That’s just cruel, leadin’ me on like that.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I didn’t want to ruin the holiday spirit by saying no.” Esther chuckled lightly. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It ain’t even December yet.” Joel deadpanned. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No, but it’s getting there. Three more days and then it’s Christmas time!” Esther exclaimed excitedly. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie and Joel shared a knowing look. Esther loved Christmas. Ellie had never been to her house but Joel had told her that she went overboard with the decorations; a giant tree, nutcrackers on the doorsteps, lights and tinsel hung in every single room. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Maybe I shoulda asked you after Christmas. You’re gonna fill my house with a bunch a’ shit, ain’t you?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Of course, hunny. And you and Ellie are doing to love it.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The father-daughter pair shared a groan. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">—————-</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Christmas had passed extremely quickly. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The young couple didn’t get to see each other as much as they would’ve liked, which left them both craving each other’s touch. Of course they called and texted everyday, but it wasn’t the same as being in each other’s presence. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Whilst Dina didn’t celebrate Christmas, being Jewish, Ellie and Joel had spent most of the December helping Esther move in. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Damn did that women have a lot of things. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They’d even redecorated the living room and Joel’s - now Esther and Joel’s - bedroom. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The most exciting part of it all? Joel had finally gotten rid of that fucking death trap rug. There were no more clumsy tumbles or trips over the tattered rug, which Ellie was so, so thankful for. Her mornings were peaceful now, without fear of injury; it was liberating. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Okay, maybe not liberating, but it was nice to not stub her toe or bang her knee after tripping over it every day. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Esther officially unpacked her last box on the 21st of December. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">To celebrate, Ellie invited Dina over and the four of them ordered Chinese takeout. The day ended perfectly with Dina cuddled into her chest, wrapped in thick teddy blankets and mismatching pyjama sets. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">On Christmas Day, Esther was the one to wake Ellie up. Ellie had only had four celebratory Christmas’s in her life (the first 13 of her life had been spent in foster care, so they didn’t count) and it still somehow felt foreign to her. It never failed to remind her of how much she loved her family. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Ellie trudged downstairs after an ecstatic Esther, she caught sight of the Christmas tree and the presents stacked under it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was unfamiliar to spend Christmas with anyone else but Joel, but not unwelcome. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After they’d opened the gifts, Tommy and Maria arrived for dinner, bringing even more gifts and alcohol. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">At around 6pm, Dina showed up at the door. Ellie was admittedly a little tipsy after a few glasses of whiskey and sharing beers with Tommy. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey you.” Dina greeted her, hands hidden behind her back. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey babe. What are you doing here?” Ellie was pleasantly surprised to see her girlfriend; the giant grin on her face gave it away. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Just wanted to bring you something.” She sheepishly bought her hands forward. She presented Ellie with a medium sized, plain box. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You didn’t have to, Dina.” Ellie scolded but pulled her girlfriend into a hug anyway. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I wanted to. Open it.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie obeyed and opened the box, using her knee to support the base as her hands opened up the flaps. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was a framed photograph. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The photo showed Dina sitting in Ellie’s lap on a bench. Ellie’s arms were wrapped securely around Dina’s waist, her face jubilant and light as the pair were captured mid laugh. One of Dina’s hands were squeezing Ellie’s cheek. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Clearly, since the both of them were looking at each other, the photo had been taken without capturing their attention. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The moment snapped by the camera was natural, without any posing or forced smiles. The photo just showcased the two of them being their usual, dorky selves. She didn’t even know the photo existed, or who snapped the shot of them. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Dina...” Ellie was breathless, her cheeks aching from smiling a goddamn much. The photo was perfect; it captured their relationship, from friends to girlfriends, their admiration for one another. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m glad you like it.” Dina beamed at her with a smile almost as big as hers. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie swooped down to kiss her, not caring that one of her family members might walk by. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I love it. It’s perfect.” Ellie nipped her lip a little before pulling away, “I’m sorry I didn’t get you anything. I didn’t think we were doing presents.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Don’t be stupid, El.” Ellie grinned at the use of Dina’s nickname for her, “I wanted to give this to you. Not just for Christmas, but just as a gift.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie engulfed her in a bearhug. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">—————</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">New Years came around and Ellie felt guilty. Dina and the gang, as well as a few other mutual friends Ellie didn’t really know, were having a bonfire to celebrate New Years. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie wanted to go; she missed her friends, missed her girlfriend, but he couldn’t leave Joel. He’d done so much for her in the almost-five years they’d known each other. They’d spent every New Year with each other since, it didn’t feel right to not be with him when the countdown happened. On their first New Year, he’d let her take a sip of his aged Whiskey, sparking her love for the drink. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There were a lot of things that she held dear to her heart because of Joel; guitars, comic books and whiskey weren’t just special because she enjoyed them, but special because she associated Joel with them. The man who’d changed her life, given her opportunities that she’d never dared to even dream about before. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What’re your friends doing for New Years, Ellie?” Joel asked her on the morning of New Years Eve. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She pursed her lips and shrugged, “They’re having a bonfire next to the forest campsite.” She said nonchalantly, attempting to come off as if she didn’t care she’d be missing out. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Don’t you want to go?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The auburn haired girl shrugged, “Sounds cool, but I always spend it with you. Wouldn’t wanna ditch you to get fucked up in a forest.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He chuckled lightly at her comment, “You can go if you want to, kiddo. I don’t wanna hold you back from seeing your friends.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She bit her lip guiltily, “Are you sure? I wouldn’t wanna leave you alone. We’ve spent every New Years together.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Her adoptive father waved dismissively, “Go, kiddo. Besides, I got Esther, I won’t be alone.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I feel bad.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Don’t. It’s been a long time since you’ve been this happy. You deserve to spend time with friends. Besides,” he smirked, “You got a girlfriend now. I suspect she’ll be wanting a New Years kiss.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The blush on her cheeks made him chuckle. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You do know Dina is Jewish, right? Her family don’t celebrate New Years in December.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“She won’t pass up the chance to kiss her girlfriend though, will she?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Only if you’re sure?” She asked tentatively, but a little excitedly. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Of course. Don’t drink too much, alright?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No promises.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">—————-</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The bonfire was warm, heating up the drunken bodies that danced beside it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">At 11:55pm, the music was stopped and a radio station played in its place. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When the countdown began, Dina looped her arms around Ellie’s shoulders and nuzzled her face. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“This has been the best year ever.” Dina beamed at her, face glowing and beautiful in the light of the fire. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m glad.” Ellie couldn’t really repeat the same statement, seeing as her fingers had been torn off earlier in the year and her downward spiral reached rock bottom. But meeting Dina had reignited the spark in her heart. She felt so much for the dark haired woman; so much that almost every kiss and every touch made her entire body tingle. “You look beautiful tonight.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You don’t look so bad yourself.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>10... 9... 8... </em> </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You ready to receive the best kiss of the year?” Dina teased with a sultry smirk.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>7... 6...</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re a dork.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>5... 4... </em> </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Not as dorky as you.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie dropped her empty beer bottle and settled her hands on Dina’s waist, pulling the shorter girl closer. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>3... 2... 1... </em> </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Their lips met as the fireworks exploded in the night sky. It was magical. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">———-</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was January when Dina cuddled up to her in Ellie’s bed one night, shivering and seeking the warmth of skin. They were both bundled up in pyjamas, but Dina’s icy hands slipped under the material of Ellie’s thick sweater. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We’ve been girlfriends for two months and you still haven’t taken me on a date.” She mumbled sleepily, nose nudging into Ellie’s neck. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Where do you wanna go?” Her maimed hand played with strands of Dina’s loose hair, her other arm wrapped protectively around Dina’s back in an attempt to to transfer warmth to the smaller girl. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Someplace nice.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s helpful.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A gentle kiss was pressed to her neck, “Figure it out, dumbass.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">———- </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">For their first date, Ellie woke up early. After reluctantly untangling herself from her girlfriends sleeping body, Ellie showered and dressed for the day. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She couldn’t wear her favourite flannel; it apparently belonged to Dina now. Not that Ellie minded all that much. Whenever the shorter girl wore her clothes, Ellie would swoon. Something primal would take over, and as good as Dina looked in her clothes, she wanted nothing more than to tear them off of her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Which wouldn’t be a good idea; they hadn’t had sex yet, despite being so close to it many times. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie was confident they were both ready for it, but the right moment hadn’t come yet. They’d had chances, being alone in the house with no one there, but Ellie wanted it to be special; it had to be. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie eventually caved and told Dina how they’d be spending their day. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">First, the cute coffee shop Dina had been eying up for weeks. After warming up from a hot beverage and maybe a muffin, the movies were next; a special showing of the original 1994 Lion King movie. Finally, there was a table booked for 7pm at Dina’s favourite independent restaurant. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">At the coffee shop, Dina had ordered possibly the most complicated and confusing thing on the menu. Ellie had settled for a mint hot chocolate, simple but satisfactory. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Content with the warmth that the drinks provided them to help survive the harsh cold outside, they walked hand in hand to the movie theatre. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie had forgotten her gloves, but refused to let Dina lend hers to her. She ignored the pain that throbbed in her finger stumps. A bit of pain was worth it if Dina could stay warm. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I know your hand is hurting.” Dina shot her a look that Ellie had learnt was confrontational, but caring all the same. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I just don’t want your dainty little hands dropping off from frostbite.” Ellie replied teasingly, giving Dina a lob sided smile. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina wordlessly released Ellie’s right hand and swivelled around her body, taking Ellie’s scarred hand within her own. “At least let me warm you up. I can’t imagine being this cold is painless for your hand.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“This is better than gloves.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When they reached the movie theatre, Ellie bought the popcorn and drinks, clumsily waddling back to Dina with a stack of two XL sodas and 3 large popcorns. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Did you invite someone else?” Dina asked with a raised brow, gesturing to the 3 popcorns. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No.” The taller girl’s voice strained when she handed Dina the two drinks, before eyeing the shorter woman sheepishly over the mountain of popcorn, “I forgot to ask what flavour you like best. So I just bought all three.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re so sweet sometimes, El.” Dina said adoringly. If the tower of popcorn wasn’t obscuring the freckled girls face, she would’ve leant in and kissed her. Ellie made her feel so warm; she practically swooned at every little thing the freckled girl did. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh you like sweet popcorn?” The taller girl fumbled to try and pass Dina the popcorn from the bottom of the stack. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Dina stopped her with a hand to her arm, fighting off the giggles, “No, idiot. I said </span> <span class="s2"> <em>you’re</em> </span> <span class="s1"> sweet.”</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“But butter is my favourite.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When the movie started, Dina nestled her head into Ellie’s shoulder. The theatre was warm and well heated, allowing the couple to finally shed their coats and jackets for the first time of the day. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">With Dina’s head resting on her shoulder, the butterflies in Ellie’s stomach killed her appetite. Her soda was drained quickly; why was her mouth so fucking dry at the minute? </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina seemed to notice how quickly her drink emptied; the smaller girl silently passed hers over to Ellie. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">At the end of the movie, there was still an entire portion of salted popcorn left behind. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When the credits rolled and they left their seats, Ellie dumped the popcorn in the trash can. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Do you even like salted popcorn?” Ellie asked with a raised brow, holding out her hand for Dina to take it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No, but I didn’t have the heart to tell you.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">As they approached the street of their final destination, Dina squeezed her hand, “Did you like the movie, by the way?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie replied with a sincere smile, “I did. I can’t believe I’ve never seen it before.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It was my favourite as a kid. It’s really cool to see it on the big screen.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Would’ve been better if it was in space though.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Did you even get the point of the whole movie? Love, family, the circle of life? Did any of that process in your thick skull?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“Yes.” Ellie bit back a laugh, “I’m just saying, if Mufasa died because Scar tampered with his aircraft, which caused it to explode in space, and then Simba built an even </span> <span class="s2">bigger </span> <span class="s1">aircraft to annihilate Scar and the hyenas, that would’ve been cooler.” </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re so fucking dorky I can’t tell if it’s adorable or just weird sometimes.” Dina’s head shook with amusement, giggles bubbling from her lips. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well you did say the movie was about the circle of life. In space, we orbit the sun. That’s a circle. Therefore, The Lion King in space wouldn’t be a bad concept.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’d kiss your stupid face right now if it wasn’t so cold out.” Dina retorted playfully, trying to fight the shivers that plagued her body. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Why not kiss me anyway? The worst thing that could happen is we get stuck together.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“And go back home for Joel and Esther to tear us to shreds? No thanks.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’d kiss you forever if I could.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">————</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After they stuffed themselves stupid at Dina’s favourite restaurant, Joel picked them up. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Good time, girls?” He asked, eyes on the road. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The couple shared a look, smiles bright and eyes even brighter. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It was great.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was perfect. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hope you guys liked it! Ellie is a babe planning out a cute little date for them. They’re too cute. </p><p>Thank you all for your comments and kudos! I love you all!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. I am so in love with you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Ellie finally plays Dina a song... And Dina just can’t keep it in her pants any longer. </p><p>So, warning for smut ahead.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">February’s were cold in Wyoming. Ellie didn’t much like the cold weather, how it made her cheeks sting and her toes numb. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She and Dina had started dating at the end of November, just over three months ago. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She was finally ready to play Dina a song, after months of practice and building up callouses on her fingertips. After months of frustration, and then pride, she was <em>finally</em> ready. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She could play the song without mistakes, flawless and precise - just like she had been able to before losing her fingers. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After running through the song again, getting in the final practise to be sure it was perfect, Joel softly knocked on her door. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When it opened, he greeted her with a smile. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Soundin’ good now, kiddo.” He said eagerly, a proud smile gracing his lips. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Thanks. I think I’m really starting to get the hang of it again. I’ve... I’ve really missed playing.” And she had - on the days where everything felt too much, when Joel was working late in the summers and the words from Abby cut too deep, playing guitar was one of the only things that could bring a smile to her face. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When she’d lost her fingers, rendering her guitar skills useless, the metaphorical wounds cut that much deeper. Her best coping mechanism had become a distant memory, buried in the sand. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But Dina had been the gust of wind that disrupted it, revealing a tiny glimpse of the wood through that coarse sand, reminding her of the hours she’d put into perfecting her play, writing lyrics in her journal to help her cope with her feelings. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And now, instead of using music as an escape or an outlet, she was going to use it to express her feelings for the girl she’d fallen hopelessly in love with. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You gonna be alright here all weekend?” Joel asked, despite knowing his daughter was more than capable of looking after herself for a few days. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie leant her chin on the freshly polished guitar, meeting his caring eyes, “Of course. Now go, enjoy your weekend with Esther.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sounds like you’re tryin’ to get rid of me.” He replied jokingly, crossing his bulky arms as he leant against the door frame. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“If I wanted to get rid of you, I would’ve called social services on you a long time ago.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’ve left you some money on the counter. Just call if ya’ll need me, you hear?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Of course. Enjoy your weekend, old man.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie waited until she heard Joel and Esther’s final goodbye before rolling onto her stomach and texting her girlfriend. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>I can’t wait to see you. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">—————-</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I have a surprise for you.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“My birthday was like, last year.” Dina quipped sarcastically, but smiled nonetheless. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina was sat cross legged on Ellie’s bed, facing the taller girl who stood a couple feet away from her.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You say that as if I forgot or something.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So you just decided to do something nice for your girlfriend? That’s sweet. You big softie.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m not soft.” Ellie grumbled. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina offered her a lob sided smile, “I forgot, you’re broody.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Am not.” The auburn haired girl crossed her arms, a slight frown in her creasing her brow. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You so are,” Dina teased. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You want this surprise or not? Cause I’m getting past the point of showing it to you now.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes please.” An endearing grin came for her face, sending little flutters down to Ellie’s stomach, captivated by her beauty. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Scoot back so I can sit opposite you. And close your eyes.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina obeyed silently, curious excitement bubbling in her chest. Small, soft hands blanketed her eyes, obstructing her view as Ellie left the room. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The auburn haired girl was back a moment later, and Dina has to adjust her weight as Ellie sat opposite her on the mattress. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay, you can open your eyes.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina couldn’t help the elated smile that graced her lips at the sight before her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie was sat opposite her, guitar in her lap, fingers resting on the strings. She was smiling anxiously, nerves crawling up her throat and bouncing around her chest. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re gonna play for me?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She nodded quickly with the bashful smile Dina had fallen in love with all of those months ago. “Here goes...” The green eyed girl inhaled deeply, adjusting her right hand over the fretboard and her left just over the sound hole. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie started to play the slow chords, eyes focussing intently on her hand as she strummed the taut strings of the instrument. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>We're talking away</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>I don't know what</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>I'm to say I'll say it anyway</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Today's another day to find you</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Shying away</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>I'll be coming for your love, okay?</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina watched in adoring awe as Ellie’s concentrated face moved from the fretboard to look at her as she sang. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina didn’t know Ellie could sing. Her voice was low, slightly raspy, but beautiful at the same time. There was still nervous hints in her tone, her voice clogging ever so slightly at some points, but Dina smiled, encouraging the auburn haired girl. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Take on me </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Take me on </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>I'll be gone</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>In a day or two</em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie was looking at her, smiling through her words, eyes holding so much love for her that Dina almost felt like crying. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie was pouring so much emotion and feeling into the song, it was almost overwhelming. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie’s voice held more confidence now, especially when she processed the huge grin on Dina’s face. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>So needless to say</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>I'm odds and ends</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>But I'll be stumbling away</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Slowly learning that life is okay</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Say after me</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>It's no better to be safe than sorry</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina loved her. Right now, in this moment, listening to Ellie’s beautiful voice, it was as clear as anything. She absolutely adored Ellie, loved her with every fibre of her being. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The feeling was mutual, she knew it, as Ellie softly sang the final chorus. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Take on me </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Take me on </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>I'll be gone</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>In a day or two</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The song ended, and the two shared a goofy, adoring grin. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie shuffled a little, placing her hands back in a position to play, “Anyway, here’s wonderwall...” She giggled jokingly, “I’m kidding. Fuck that song.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The guitar now set aside on the floor, Ellie moved back to look into Dina’s murky brown eyes. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That was beautiful.” Dina said softly, her hand clasping onto Ellie’s as he rubbed her thumb over the scarred wounds. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well the song was actually a-ha, but I’ll forgive you.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re a fucking dork. I love it. I love you.” All the emotions that had built up during Ellie’s intimate performance came out in those final three words, sincerity and meaning dripping off of every syllable. Saying it didn’t feel scary, in fact it felt natural. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then came the most genuine, heartfelt smile Dina had ever seen, causing her heart to melt into a little puddle. She lost all feeling in her limbs, her head felt dizzy, her heart swelled. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I love you too.” Ellie’s words were bursting with happiness, completely, stupidly elated. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The smile never leaving her lips, Ellie placed both hands over Dina’s cheeks and pulled her into a loving kiss. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The olive skinned woman happily obliged, her small hands curling over Ellie’s shoulders as she smiled into the kiss. She could feel Ellie smiling too. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After a few seconds, they broke apart, foreheads resting together as they giggled lightly. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I love you.” Ellie repeated, almost giddily. There was a swarm butterflies in her stomach that didn’t ease in the slightest when she pressed a chaste kiss to Dina’s lips. “I love you.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I love you.” Dina whispered against Ellie’s lips, breath hot and inviting. She trailed her fingers down Ellie’s jawline, taking in every freckle that was splatted across her skin, every mark, scar and blemish. Murky eyes slowly trailed up to meet Ellie’s green ones before Ellie drew her into a passionate, searing kiss. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina could feel herself being pushed down towards the sheets, a strong hand supporting her upper back as Ellie’s weight slowly carried them down.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A whimper escaped her mouth as Ellie’s tongue gently brushed against her bottom lip. The smirk she felt when Dina granted the warm tongue access sent shivers down her spine. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They kissed like that for a few minutes, Ellie’s weight shifting somewhat impatiently above Dina as the kiss grew more and more passionate. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Take this off.” Dina prompted breathlessly, her fingers tugging at the hem of Ellie’s hoodie. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie was on her knees and throwing the garment away within seconds, soon followed by her T-shirt. Dina’s hands on her shoulders coupled with the slight nip of the cold air allowed goosebumps to raise on her arms and stomach. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A groan passed Ellie’s lips when Dina’s nails raked teasingly down her lower back. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The auburn haired girl silently guided Dina upwards into a sitting up position before quickly making work of her tight fitting top. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie bit her lip to suppress the whine that clawed at her throat at the sight of seeing Dina’s torso without a shirt. She allowed her eyes to glance over her chest, her bra-clad breasts and naked shoulders. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Dina was lying back down on the ruffled bed sheets, Ellie kissed an agonisingly slow path down Dina’s neck to her chest. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Small, wet kisses were pressed over the mounds of Dina’s chest, causing the girl beneath her to let out a slow, shaky breath. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The auburn haired girl made her way back to Dina’s flushed face, taking a moment to relish in Dina’s beauty. Her mouth was slightly agape, her eyes glassy and </span>
  <span class="s2"><em>wanting</em>. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie was disrupted from her longing stare when she felt the other girl tug at one of the belt loops of her jeans. The simple action alone sent a wave of arousal straight to the pit of her stomach. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I want you.” Dina whispered breathlessly, fingers dancing over the warm skin of Ellie’s lower back. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina surged up, pushing Ellie back onto her knees as their lips collided once more. Ellie’s hands found Dina’s waist in an effort to help her stay upright. Long fingers splayed over Dina’s warm skin as her thumbs rubbed mindless circles into her stomach. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina was nudging her, silently prompting Ellie to move to the side.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Wordlessly, Ellie obliged, her back finding the softness of the sheets. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Her mind went numb at the sight of Dina crawling on top of her, knees at Ellie’s hips with Dina’s weight pressing down on the area she needed her the most. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Dina hips started to rock at an agonisingly slow pace, Ellie couldn’t swallow the low groan that escaped her mouth. The friction was minimal, but enough to set her skin alight. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Her fingers skimmed over the clasp of Dina’s bra, a silent question that Dina merely nodded her head to. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie leant upwards, pressing gentle kisses to Dina’s collarbones and upper chest. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Her fingers clumsily unhooked the clasp as her lips latched on to the dark haired woman’s neck, causing her breath to hitch. It would leave a mark, there was no doubt about it, but it didn’t stop Ellie gently nibbling with her teeth and soothing the blooming bruise with her tongue.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ellie...” Her voice was strained, almost hoarse, and so fucking hot. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie placed on final kiss to Dina’s breast, before lowering herself back down to the bed, where she watched in dumbfounded amazement as Dina slipped the lacy bra off her chest. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It felt like everything was in slow motion; the straps fell agonisingly slow down Dina’s arms, like gravity was on a lunch break. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie’s mind felt both numb and overloaded at the same time. When Dina discarded her bra, allowing Ellie to drink in the beautiful sight before her, all she could manage was a choked, breathy, “Wow.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina smiled endearingly, scraping her nails over Ellie’s abdomen as she rocked her hips just a little harder. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You like what you see?” Dina whispered in a sultry voice, a smirk teasing the corners of her luscious lips. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Taking in a deep, shaky breath, Ellie nodded. “You’re so beautiful, Dina.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hearing her name roll off of Ellie’s tongue like that sparked electrical volts inside of her. “You aren’t so bad yourself.” Another roll of her hips, this time Ellie’s rising instinctively to meet hers, “But I think you’re wearing too much. I think </span>
  <span class="s2"><em>I’m</em> </span>
  <span class="s1">wearing too much.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was an invitation, Ellie could sense it. All of their previous sexual tension had been building up since their first kiss, and now it was time they relieve it and take the final step. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Using all of the strength her shaky arms could muster, Ellie flipped Dina onto her back before crushing her lips against hers. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There was tugging at her belt loop again, this time more frantic, more desperate. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The auburn haired girl took the hint and tore her jeans off, leaving her in nothing but her sports bra and boxers. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She’d even worn her favourite boxers, just in case anything happened. Considering the course this was taking, she’d made a good decision. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fuck, Ellie.” Dina whined as Ellie’s naked thigh pressed between her legs. Her lips were back to Dina’s chest, teasing her tongue over Dina’s nipple before moving back to her neck. “You’re being a tease.” She whimpered as Ellie’s tongue ghosted over the hardened peak of her nipple. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Am I?” The auburn haired girl murmured as her teeth bit down gently, the weight of her body pressing down harder when Dina’s body jerked involuntarily. “You never heard of foreplay?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fuck you. I know what foreplay is. This is torturous, Ellie.” Her voice was high pitched and whiny, her breath hitching in her throat every time Ellie’s teeth scraped over her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Good.” Ellie whispered huskily, a hand coming to caress Dina’s hip, her thumb just slightly dipping under the waistband of her jeans. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ellie- please, take them off.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The taller girl slid down her body, warm tongue trailing a path down to the waistband of Dina’s black jeans. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Purposefully slow, Ellie popped the button and teased the zipper down, ignoring Dina’s protesting whines and jolting hips. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sitting back on her heels, the auburn haired woman slowly peeled the jeans off of Dina’s smooth legs, her eyes fixed on the damp spot that had creeped through Dina’s underwear. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Even after the bottoms had been discarded, Ellie couldn’t help but just stare at the beautiful, </span>
  <span class="s2"><em>almost</em> </span>
  <span class="s1">naked woman in front of her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Her smooth, bare legs, her taut but soft stomach, her perfect breasts- </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Are you gonna touch me or just ogle at me?” Dina said admiringly, endearing eyes glancing over Ellie’s reddening face. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Just for that, I’m making you wait longer.” She scowled playfully in reply before removing her sports bra and tossing it in the increasing pile of their clothes. Any insecurities about being topless in front of Dina faded away when her naked thigh slotted between Dina’s legs, immediately meeting those incredibly damp underwear. A tiny groan rasped from her throat at her feeling of Dina’s wetness on her thigh. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Did she really do that? Make Dina this aroused for her? </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina gripped her neck and yanked her forward into another passionate kiss, her tongue immediately meeting Ellie’s as she whimpered at the friction from Ellie’s thigh. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fuck, Ellie. I want this. I want </span>
  <span class="s2">you.</span>
  <span class="s1">” She gasped between heated kisses, feeling like she was losing all self control. All she could feel was the throbbing ache between her legs - it was driving her insane. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jesse had never gotten her so worked up before, but Ellie had managed to do it on her first try. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The taller woman smirked against Dina’s swollen lips, trailing her fingers down a taut stomach and barely ghosting her fingers beneath the elastic of Dina’s underwear. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina moaned into her mouth, excitement rushing through the smaller girl as the fingers dipped beneath the elastic once more. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She let out a frustrated breath when Ellie’s hand was back to her stomach. “You’re such a fucking tease.” She wasn’t even embarrassed about the frustrated desperation in her voice anymore, she was so eager for Ellie that any other priorities were stumped right then and there. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">If she knew Ellie was such a tease, she’d have taken control of the situation herself and- </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A low but pitchy whine escaped her lips when two fingers swiped over her aching clit, completely breaking her train of thought and shooting sparks through her limbs. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie continued the slow pace, leisurely circling Dina’s clit as Dina’s soft whines sent shivers down her spine. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina’s hands left the sheets and settled roughly on Ellie’s shoulder blades. She fought off the urge to dig her nails into the warmth of Ellie’s back; she’d only just started touching her, she couldn’t lose all control just yet. She had to keep some form of composure, but it was proving extremely difficult. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re so wet.” Ellie hummed into her ear as her fingers dipped down to gather wetness on her fingers. Dina shivered in pleasure as the woman above her continued slowly swiping over her clit. The pace was teasing, agonisingly slow with minimal pressure. The pads of her fingers were barely pressed down on the aching bundle of nerves. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Maybe you shouldn’t tease me so much.” Dina huffed breathlessly, hips bucking in a pathetic attempt to follow the teasing circles. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Foreplay.” Ellie argued back, nipping at Dina’s neck and sucking on her erratic pulse point. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“This- this is not foreplay.” The dark haired woman stammered pathetically, “This is medieval torture.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie chuckled, moving her face to brush her nose against Dina’s, “Aw, am I really that bad?” Before Dina had a chance to reply the girl above her pressed firmly against her clit, earning a moan from the girl beneath her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fuck, Ellie.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Her own wetness that had gathered between her legs signalled that it was probably time to move things along a little; she was getting impatient herself. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But teasing Dina was so fucking hot... Seeing her desperate, writhing around jerkily, her name ghosting from those sweet lips... </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rolling back onto her heels, the auburn haired woman hooked her fingers underneath Dina’s underwear and guided them over the smooth plains of her legs. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Seeing the pool of glistening wetness gathered at Dina’s centre made her stomach constrict and pull. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie took one last glance at the dark haired woman. There was sweat beginning to sheen over her olive skin, and her face and chest were flushed with arousal. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie planted her large hands over Dina’s thighs, the rough calluses of her fingers sending tiny shockwaves through Dina’s skin.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie slowly kissed a path up both of her smooth thighs, tongue trailing dangerously close to Dina’s throbbing core, but not close enough to bring Dina any satisfaction. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ellie, please.” She hissed through clenched teeth. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Her voice sounded so incredibly desperate, and Ellie couldn’t carry on with her teasing anymore. Dina was a wreck, panting and layered in sweat, so wet and ready and for her. The plea from Dina was her breaking point. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She pushed her tongue through Dina’s dripping folds, slowly rolling her tongue over the aching bud. Her arms wrapped around Dina’s strong thighs, hands coming to rest over her hips. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Not much time had passed before Dina’s fingers laced into her hair, tugging every time the tip of Ellie’s tongue swiped over her clit. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fuck, Ellie...” The moan was music to Ellie’s ears, fuelling her own building arousal that was beginning to get extremely uncomfortable. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Dina’s hips bucked, Ellie pressed her down into the sheets. The movements of her tongue quickened when Dina moaned her name again, fingers digging into her hips slightly, a silent command to keep still. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She could feel the wetness on her chin, the heat of Dina’s core against her mouth; it was intoxicating, she couldn’t get enough of it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina could barely register Ellie’s hand moving from her stomach, too lost in the numbing pleasure Ellie was providing her with her tongue. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie planted her hand on the inside of Dina’s thigh, her thumb swiping over the goosebumps that had formed there. It was a silent question, one that Dina answered with a whimper and a hand covering hers. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Slowly, Ellie pushed in two fingers, groaning against Dina’s clit as her fingers were enveloped in heat. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She gave a moment for Dina to adjust, swirling slow circles around the aching bundle of nerves to distract her from any discomfort that her fingers might have caused. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The shaking hand in her hair tugged gently, indicating she was okay, giving her the go ahead. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie pulled her fingers in an in and out motion, twisting them just slightly as she entered. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Her name was on Dina’s lips again, and she’d never heard anything so sweet. It spurred her on, encouraging her to quicken her pace slightly. After every few thrusts of her fingers, she curled them up, each time earning a loud gasp and moan from the woman who writhed beneath her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Another curl of her fingers caused Dina’s back to arch off of the bed, a high pitched whine escaping her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie’s less dominant hand pushed down on her hip, keeping her in place as her fingers and tongue worked at a quick pace. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Soon, Dina’s breaths became erratic, fast and short, and the hand grasped at her hair painfully. Ellie gasped at the pain, but it didn’t stop the rhythm of her fingers. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie could tell Dina was close to tipping over the edge; her walls were tight, clamping down on her fingers with more desperation at every movement. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ignoring the ache that started to creep through her arm, Ellie flicked one last time over the throbbing clit before moving back over Dina’s glistening body. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Panting, Dina pulled Ellie into a searing kiss, groaning at the mounting pleasure between her legs and the taste of herself on Ellie’s lips. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Ellie’s thumb pressed down on her clit, the edges of her vision began to darken, and the pleasure began to build at a rapid pace. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Her arms wrapped around Ellie’s middle, fingernails raking at Ellie’s shoulder blades as her legs started to shake uncontrollably. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie must’ve sensed that she was teetering over the edge because her lips were over hers in an instant, swallowing her desperate moans in an open kiss. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ellie, fuck, please...” Her voice was nothing but a desperate, raspy whisper. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A few more thrusts and a swipe of her clit had Dina crying out as the orgasm tore through her, her fingernails pressing deep into Ellie’s back as Ellie removed her thumb but leisurely curled her fingers upwards, slowly and gently, helping to ride Dina out of her mind numbing orgasm. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The broken cries died down to gentle moans and pants, her breath choking every time Ellie gently curled her long fingers inside of her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">All the tension left Dina’s body, leaving her muscles thrumming and legs trembling. The aftershocks of her orgasm still lingered, filling her head with a hazy smoke. She felt like she was floating on a cloud, almost as if her soul had left her body. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The auburn haired girl removed her hand from the pool of wetness between Dina’s legs and collapsed beside her girlfriend, her hand rising and falling as it rested on Dina’s chest, just beside her erratic heart. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That was fucking amazing.” The dark haired woman panted, a lazy grin tugging at her swollen lips. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie smirked, enjoying the burn that throbbed beneath her shoulders and over her back, “You’re amazing.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They lay in a content silence for a minute, catching their breath and steadying their frantic heart beats. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Dina had somewhat recovered, a smirk played at the the corner of her lips as she slowly crawled up over her girlfriend’s body. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She straddled the taller girl, knees either side her hips, her warmth pressing down on Ellie’s lower stomach. “Your turn.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie’s stomach flipped when the sultry whisper left her girlfriends mouth, captivated by the olive skinned beauty looming over her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dark hair had mostly escaped the usual bun that held it in place, the dark strands framing her face delightfully. Her body was warm, blood running hot beneath Ellie’s fingers; she couldn’t keep her hands off of Dina no matter what. Letting go or moving away from her smooth skin wasn’t an option right now; it never would be. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The shorter girl slid slowly down Ellie’s body, planting open mouthed kisses on every blemish or scar her murky eyes could find. She eventually reached the thick waistband of Ellie’s boxers, tugging at it with her teeth before letting it snap back against her skin. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Who’s being a tease now?” Ellie whined as she sat up on her elbows to watch Dina hover over her, dangerously close to where she needed her the most. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina’s hand trailed up and down her thigh,nails raking downwards when her fingers got too close to the wetness that had dampened her underwear. “I can’t deny it’s kind of fun.” Her breath was hot over her thigh, contrasting against the slight coolness of the air, leaving goosebumps. “But I’m too eager to make you wait.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The barrier that sat between them was removed instantly, and Dina’s warm tongue found her clit immediately. She wasted no time getting to work, alternating between flicking her tongue and circling. At each change of pace, Ellie let out a gasp, her hands clenching tight in the sheets below her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Her hips jerked involuntary when Dina brushed her tongue over a particularly sensitive area. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie’s knuckles were white from the tight grip on the sheets below her, heels digging to the bed to attempt to lessen the shaking of her legs. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A low groan tore her throat when Dina pressed two fingers into her, immediately curling them upwards. Ellie swore she could see stars as the pleasure of Dina moving inside of her sent shocks through her limbs. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie wasn’t as responsive as Dina had been, but there was no doubt in the dark haired woman’s mind that Ellie was struggling to hold it together. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She continued the steady pace of her tongue and fingers, not slowing or increasing the pace. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie’s breaths came short and ragged, her chest heaving to bring oxygen to her lungs that felt starved of it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Assuming that Ellie was reaching her breaking point, Dina slid her free hand up Ellie’s stomach, fingers dipping over the subtle, shining abs. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie gripped her hand tightly, the intimate action alone pushing her even closer to the edge. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fuck, Dina. I’m close.” She gasped through her ragged breaths, fingers gripping firmly around Dina’s hand. Dina squeezed back gently, semi-conscious of the scars there. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The pressure was building, fast and heavy, the shocks pulsating through her body making it hard to concentrate on anything but the feeling of Dina pleasuring her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie squeezed Dina’s hand in a death grip when she tipped over the edge, waves of intense pleasure rolling over her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The girl between her trembling legs continued with slow, lazy thrusts to help ride Ellie out of her high. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Ellie’s ragged breaths began to slow, Dina slowly kissed her way back up to the freckled, flushed face. The smaller girl finally relaxed her body of top of Ellie’s, head resting on her chest. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Warm hands found Dina’s bare back, fingers tracing random shapes over the smooth skin. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina sighed contently, closing her eyes and focusing on the rapid heartbeat that thumped beneath her ear. A hum rumbled in her throat when Ellie’s wandering hands finally settled, palms flat over her back, offering warmth. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Wow.” Ellie chuckled lowly. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina hummed again in response, placing a gentle kiss on Ellie’s neck, “You’re something else, Ellie Williams.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Me? I think you mean you. I feel like I’m floating.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina chuckled lightly as she rolled off her girlfriend’s body, coming to lay beside the freckled girl. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie missed the contact straight away, missing Dina’s smooth skin and the comforting weight on her stomach. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I love you.” Ellie repeated the words that had been the catalyst to their intimacy, the words that had prompted them to take the next step. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I love you too, stupid.” A smirk tugged at her bruising lips as she moved forward, pressing her lips to Ellie’s. The kiss was slow and lazy, their hunger and desperation from before now satisfied. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina nudged her way into Ellie’s side, smooth legs tangling into Ellie’s as toned arms wrapped around her middle. The hair that had escaped from her signature bun was splayed over Ellie’s shoulder, her nose just barely brushing Ellie’s neck. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’ve wanted to do this for a long time.” Dina mused as she trailed her fingertips over Ellie’s naked stomach. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Me too.” Ellie hummed in response, “I feel I’m dreaming.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I am pretty unbelievable, aren’t I?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie rolled her eyes, but an untameable smile tugged at her lips. “You are.” She replied adoringly, moving a hand up to push some of Dina’s escaped curls behind her ear. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You must love me, you had a chance to insult me just then, but you didn’t take it. You really are going soft.” The olive skinned woman quipped teasingly.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Whatever you say, babe.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You aren’t even arguing it!” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Maybe I’m just deceiving you. I played you a song and you jumped into my pants. Dina likes soft and caring Ellie.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Maybe sometimes I just need a break from your broodiness.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I don’t brood.” Ellie grumbled, a low rumble in her throat. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You do, babe. It’s kind of sexy though.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re sexy all the time. It’s exhausting just looking at you sometimes.” She flashed a smile. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Are you flirting with me, Ellie Williams?” Dina teased as she moved her head to face Ellie’s. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Maybe.” Green orbs flicked down to swollen lips. Before Dina could quip back Ellie covered her lips with her own in a sweet, firm kiss. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Pulling away, she rested her forehead against Dina’s, “I love you.” The words left her mouth quietly, meaning dripping off of every word, despite her exhaustion. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I love you, too.” </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Fun fact, the chapter before this left the story at 69,669 words (hehe, right before the smut chapter. Call me immature.) </p><p>I never EVER intended to write smut, but it just kinda... happened? So I was super nervous to post this, I hope I did okay? It was literally my first time ever writing it. </p><p>I have a lot going on in my life at the moment so my updating schedule will be slower than usual from now on... I will definitely post at least once a week, I promise. </p><p>Thank you all so much for reading. Hope you thirsty bitches got what you needed from this chapter. Until next time x</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. what’s that green shit?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Our favourite gays share some fluff and have more sex.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie awoke to a tickling sensation against her nose. It was itchy and irritating, causing a groan of frustration to slip from her parched throat as she shifted her head away. After rubbing her nose vigorously in order to banish the annoying sensation, the warm weight on her naked torso chuckled lightly. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I was wondering when you would wake up, sleepyhead.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The sound of Dina’s soft voice sent Ellie tumbling into the memories of the previous night. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie had played her the song she’d been practising for weeks, they’d confessed their love to each other, and eventually had sex. Amazing, mind blowing, life altering sex. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Haze clouded her mind as she replayed the memory of Dina beneath her, squirming and moaning, gasping for breath as Ellie pushed her over the edge. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I had the best dream.” Ellie replied sleepily, lazily running her fingers over Dina’s scalp as a dreamy smile tugged at her lips. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A content sigh left Dina’s mouth as she cuddled into Ellie’s chest, her arm squeezing just a little tighter, enveloping Ellie completely. “Oh really? That’s funny, I did too. I was naked in my dream - and so were you.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie chuckled softly. The scent of Dina’s hair filled her nose, reminding her once more of last nights activities. “You know what? Now that I think about it, I don’t think it was a dream.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We’re both naked, so I guess that explains a lot.” Dina giggled into her a neck, her nose brushing against the skin slightly. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie was </span>
  <span class="s2"><em>very</em> </span>
  <span class="s1">aware of Dina’s naked, warm skin pressing against her own. Dina was so perfect, so beautiful - how could she </span>
  <span class="s2"><em>not</em> </span>
  <span class="s1">be conscious of the gorgeous body beside her? She pressed a gentle kiss into Dina’s hair, inhaling the soft scent of the coconut shampoo Dina always used. “How long have you been awake?” She murmured into Dina’s hair, layering another kiss there. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Not long,” her soft, nimble fingers traced shapes over Ellie’s rib cage, “You were snoring.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I had a long night, alright? What do you expect?” the auburn haired woman retorted playfully, leaning her head back into the pillow to relieve the ache in her neck. Her whole body ached, now that she thought about it. All of her limbs felt sluggish and tight, like she’d been thrown about like a rag doll. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’ll let you off. You deserve a rest after yesterday.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I don’t plan on leaving this bed, I’m way too comfortable.” her hand left Dina’s hair when she curled her arm across Dina’s smooth, naked back. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You aren’t gonna make me breakfast in bed?” Dina mocked in a childlike voice, pouting her lips. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No way. You even said it yourself, I deserve a rest. I think you should make breakfast.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“How about we meet in the middle and cook together?” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fine. Just five more minutes, please?” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The couple cuddled for ten more minutes, mostly in silence as they appreciated the feeling of naked skin and warmth. They shared a few gentle touches, loving kisses pressing into skin. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina pressed a quick kiss to Ellie’s neck before throwing off the covers and climbing out of the bed, earning a childish moan from the auburn haired girl. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Where are you going?” Ellie whined, sitting up. The cold air against her bare back almost made her shiver. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Shower.” Dina winked, unfazed and uncaring that she stood stark naked in front of her girlfriend. She didn’t miss how those forest eyes gawked at her, drinking her in, admiring every curve and arc of her body. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The thought of sharing a hot, steamy shower with Dina’s wet skin beneath her hands caused arousal to settle in the pit of her stomach. Dina just had that kind of hold on her, the type of hold that was so incredibly captivating, like a magnet, drawing her in even if she tried to fight it. Ellie was helpless when it came to Dina. Absolutely helpless. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I won’t be long, promise. When you’re showering I’ll get started on breakfast.” Dina waved as she left the room. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The clicking of the bathroom door echoed through the hall as Ellie flopped ungracefully back into the sheets. She could still smell Dina on her pillow, once again flinging her back to the intimacy they shared the previous night. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She must’ve lay there thinking about it for a long time, because before she knew it, Dina was back in her bedroom wrapped in a small grey towel, water droplets dripping from her hair and rolling down her glistening olive skin.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">How could someone be so goddamn beautiful? </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I didn’t bring a change of clothes.” Dina said sheepishly. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie’s eyes squinted disbelievingly, “Sure. You just want to wear my stuff.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina beamed back at her, perfect teeth gleaming in the sunlight that cut through the half open blinds, “You know me too well.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She dropped her towel nonchalantly, moving to sift through Ellie’s messy and unkempt drawers. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie had the perfect view. Her mouth hung slightly agape at the naked, damp body that stood just mere metres away from her. Dina’s confidence in her own mind and body was incredibly admirable, and extremely attractive to the auburn haired woman. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">As someone who only experienced confidence in small bouts, Ellie couldn’t help but admire her girlfriends personality. Maybe if Ellie had that gorgeous face and that amazing body, she would be as confident as Dina. But she wasn’t Dina, which she was grateful for; but Dina was </span>
  <span class="s2"><em>right there</em> </span>
  <span class="s1">in front of her, gloriously naked. She couldn’t help but stare. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You are so fucking gay, El.” Dina mumbled adoringly, not even having to look in the direction of her girlfriend to know that Ellie was gawping at her. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I can’t help it when you look like that.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina just shook her head, amused. She eventually settled for an oversized vans t shirt and her favourite sweats - sweats that didn’t belong to Ellie anymore, of course; Ellie hadn’t worn them at all since the first time Dina ‘borrowed’ them. The shorter girl didn’t give her a chance. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Why do you look better in my clothes than I do?” Ellie grumbled, but Dina caught the teasing and adoring undertones within her voice. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina ignored her, attempting to hide the blush on her cheeks by focussing on tying the drawstrings of the grey sweat pants. She didn’t want to admit that Ellie was flustering her with her compliments. She felt quite flattered, really. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina certainly was used to compliments. She’d been told countless times from many different people that she was beautiful, as well as other nice things. But they never flattered her, never really affected her. When Ellie complimented her, it was a completely different story. The auburn haired girl was the only person she </span>
  <span class="s2">wanted </span>
  <span class="s1">those kind words from. Every compliment made her heart shudder and her stomach flip. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Maybe you just underestimate how good you look, El.” Dina replied graciously whilst she towel dried her dripping hair. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Of course I do, have you seen you?” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Flatterer.” Dina smirked despite the summersaulting her stomach. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Green eyes watched her endearingly, the orbs fleeting over Dina’s arms, hair and face. When they swept over the curve of Dina’s neck, Ellie spotted the deep purple bruise on the shorter girls neck. “Good luck covering that.” Ellie said with a smirk as she pointed to Dina’s exposed neck. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Maybe I don’t want to cover it.” Dina quipped back flirtatiously, feeling the slight ache of the bruise Ellie had left there. She’d seen it in the mirror of the bathroom whilst she brushed her teeth. It was deep purple, contrasting against her olive skin - even dusting it with make up wouldn’t cover it, so she’d wear it with pride if her clothes failed to cover it. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Whatever you do, don’t let Joel see it. I don’t think I can handle another ‘talk’ from him.” The auburn haired girl exasperated.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He gave you the talk?” Dina snorted with laughter, “You’re not fourteen anymore.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh yeah. Said for us to be safe. Like I was gonna get you pregnant or something.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well that’s one thing we don’t have to worry about. Think about all of that money we can save from not buying condoms. We’ll be bawling in money.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I will be, you won’t. You said if I played you a song you’d buy me comics. And I sang, so that must be a bonus.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Stop talking and go for a shower.” The smaller woman threw a t shirt and a pair of boxers onto the crumbled bed sheets. “I’m making breakfast now, I’m hungry.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina left the room with a final glance towards a naked Ellie clambering out of the bed. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Won’t be long!” The auburn haired woman called out as Dina descended the stairs. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After showering, Ellie dressed herself in the clothes Dina had thrown to her. Whilst tugging on a grey sports bra, she caught sight of the deep red lines that were etched into the tender skin of her back and shoulders in the mirror. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">That was what was causing the stinging under the water, then. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After dressing and clearing up the water that had dripped onto the tiles, she left the bathroom feeling fresh and clean. The glorious scent of whatever the fuck Dina was cooking filled her nose.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She found Dina cooking some kind of omelette with an absurd amount of green in it. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What the fuck is that?” Ellie grimaced at the massive pile of green leaves in the pan. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s spinach, dumbass.” Dina laughed as she stirred the contents in the pan. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ew. Why is there so much of it?” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Trust me, this is not a lot. Wait until it’s cooked, it shrinks down like crazy.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Dina had finished cooking, the two happily ate their meal as they discussed how much brighter the house looked now that Esther had officially moved in. There were new decorations, new paintings and artwork hung up on the blank spots on the wall. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When they’d cleared up their dishes, Ellie moved to sit down on the worn couch. Before she reached the seats, Dina slipped her hand into hers and tugged her towards the stairs. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie raised a brow at her girlfriends actions, “You okay?” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina tugged on her hand a little harder, prompting Ellie to follow her, “Oh, yeah, I’m okay. Just </span>
  <span class="s2">really </span>
  <span class="s1">horny.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Flustered and filled with eager excitement, Ellie allowed Dina to lead her upstairs and into her bedroom. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">————</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Their clothes were shed much more quickly than the previous nights. Last night they had taken the time to admire and appreciate each other’s bodies bit by bit, taken their time to explore all of the new, previously unseen areas. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">In their wrestle for dominance, Ellie eventually gave in and allowed Dina to straddle her hips. It always started like this; Dina flustering her from above, leaning down over her, giving Ellie no choice but to stare at her flawless face. Of course, Ellie had no problem with that. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re so fucking beautiful.” Ellie husked as her hands raised up to Dina’s naked chest, her thumbs ghosting over Dina’s nipples. Ellie was convinced that this was her favourite view; Dina slowly rolling her hips into hers from above. The angle was perfect, giving her the best view of Dina’s perfect breasts and gorgeous face. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So I’ve heard.” Dina grinned from above her, purposely pressing her body down as she rocked her hips again. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I mean it.” A scarred hand followed the curve of Dina’s waist, eventually settling on her hip, thumb brushing Dina’s scar, “All of you. Every part of you is amazing.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina bit her lip, adoring eyes fixing on Ellie’s, “I love you.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie’s right hand left her chest, short nails slowly raking down Dina’s taut stomach, her destination clear. “I love you too.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re not gonna tease me this time, are you?” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie smirked, watching as Dina’s body trembled when her hand slid up Dina’s inner thigh. “Depends.” Her thumb traced through Dina’s wetness before moving to rub agonisingly slow circles over her clit. Hips jolted into her hand, desperate for more pressure, but Ellie’s free hand held her in place. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ellie...” A whine escaped Dina’s lips as she attempted to buck her hips once more. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I like to take my time.” Ellie quipped slyly, the smug smirk still tugging at her lips. She made no effort to adjust the speed or pressure of her thumb. “I wanna know everything that drives you wild. Everything that makes you squirm and tremble.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What if I told you I didn’t like to be teased?” Dina said between quiet gasps, her thighs clenched tightly beside Ellie’s hips. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Then I’d know you were lying.” Ellie husked lowly, pressing down just a little more on Dina’s throbbing clit. Ellie watched with eager eyes as Dina bit her lip in an attempt to swallow the moans. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Eventually, Dina couldn’t take the teasing anymore. Ellie’s gentle circles around her clit had more than prepared her for Ellie’s fingers. She was aching so much for Ellie to relieve her that it almost hurt. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After five minutes of attempting to buck her hips into Ellie’s steady thumb, Dina forcefully gripped the other girls wrist and pushed it lower. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That desperate, huh?” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina merely nodded, unable to form words. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She hissed when Ellie gently pushed the tip of her fingers into her aching core. “Yes, Ellie-“ She cut herself short when Ellie’s soaked fingertips reached her clit again, this time with more pressure and a quicker pace. “Ellie, </span>
  <span class="s2">fuck.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">All she received was a low chuckle in response. Dina knew Ellie was enjoying it just as much as she was, possibly even more. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fuck me.” Dina gasped, her fingers pressing into Ellie’s ribs in an attempt to steady her trembling body. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Say please.” Ellie said jokingly, “Where are your manners?” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fuck-“ another gasp of pleasure, “Fuck manners. Fuck me, please.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie had to bite her lip to refrain from moaning herself when she easily slid two fingers into Dina, the heat almost breaking her resolve right then and there. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The feeling of fingers slowly pushing into her caused Dina to release a long moan, her head thrown back as she immediately bucked into Ellie’s hand. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When her body instinctively tried to meet the movements of Ellie thrusts, Ellie’s hand held her firm, limiting how much she could move. “Stop being impatient.” Ellie teased lowly, lifting her fingers to curl them upwards. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The moan she received sent a wave of arousal through her, a shiver making its way down her spine. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After a few minutes of her steady pace, holding Dina firming in place whilst her hand did all the work, Ellie eventually let up the firm grip on Dina’s hip, allowing the girl on top to rock her hips into every movement. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">With each roll of Dina’s hips, Ellie guided her into it with her free hand. Pushing and pulling, steering Dina’s movements to meet those of the hand buried between those gorgeous thighs. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fuck, Ellie.” A whimper dripped from her lips as she threw her head back. The dark haired girl was certain her hip would be bruised by the time they were finished, but she couldn’t bring herself to care about anything but the intense pleasure Ellie was bringing her. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Ellie’s fingers hit a particular spot, Dina’s nails raked over Ellie’s stomach instinctively. She could barely comprehend Ellie’s slight hiss of pain when her nails dug in, too consumed by the mounting pleasure within her. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie angled her thumb to hit Dina’s clit every time she bucked her hips. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Every time Dina gasped her name, Ellie’s insides clenched, heart jolting. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She decided her new favourite thing was seeing Dina on top of her like this; flustered, desperate, head thrown back in absolute ecstasy, hips crashing into her hand in uneven strokes. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When the nails in her rib cage began to get painful, Ellie could sense Dina was approaching her orgasm. The auburn haired girl slid her left hand from Dina’s hip to her lower stomach, replacing her aching right thumb for her left. Her left thumb had a much better angle to swipe over the bundle of nerves. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ellie...” Dina whimpered, pure desperation tumbling out of her mouth. Her legs shook against Ellie’s sides as she inched closer and closer to her orgasm. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You gonna come for me?” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hearing those low, husky words leave her girlfriends mouth was all Dina needed. Her hips stilled when the overwhelming pleasure hit her, waves of absolute ecstasy tearing through her. Her breaths came short and ragged, fingers digging in to Ellie’s abdomen in an attempt to anchor herself. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When her body started to calm down from her high, leaving her with the small aftershocks of her mind numbing orgasm, Dina slowly manoeuvred herself to lie on Ellie’s chest. She knew her body must feel like deadweight at the moment, but Ellie didn’t seem to mind. The dark haired girl hummed at the feeling of Ellie’s hands stroking her back, slim fingers gliding over the bumps of her spine. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fuck-“ She gasped breathlessly in Ellie’s ear, “Are you sure I’m your first? ‘Cause you seem to know exactly what you’re doing.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina could feel the vibrations rumbling from Ellie’s chest as she chuckled, “I’m pretty sure.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Her body still thrummed and throbbed. She felt so relaxed but achy at the same time, sinking further and further into Ellie’s warm body. Her girlfriend was possibly the most comfortable thing she’d ever laid on, outmatching any memory foam mattress or fluffy blanket. Ellie, skinny as she was, was a human furnace, soft in all the right places; much too comfortable for someone of her body type. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Tired now?” Ellie asked smugly. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Mhmm. You sure know how to ware a girl out. I hope you don’t plan on me going first all of the time, cause I won’t have the energy to repay the favour.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina felt a smile against her hair. “That’s okay.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Is it? ‘Cause I know how turned on you are right now.” Dina twisted her head so her breath would hit Ellie’s neck. She felt Ellie shudder beneath her.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The auburn haired girl swallowed thickly, “Nothing turns me on more than making you come.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well,” Dina whispered seductively into Ellie’s ear before slowly sliding down her lean body, nails raking over her stomach teasingly, “I’m not quite ready for round two yet. But I know something to pass the time...” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">————-</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie hadn’t lasted long at all. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Maybe Dina was right. They’d have to start switching things up a little, with Dina being the first one to touch, rather than Ellie. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina kissed a path back up to Ellie’s face, returning to her favourite resting spot on Ellie’s chest, “That was quick.” She teased with a small giggle. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Shut up,” Ellie rasped breathlessly, chest still heaving to drag the much needed oxygen into her lungs. “So much for not having any energy.” Ellie jabbed through her ragged breaths. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Didn’t need to use much. That was five minutes at best.” It was too fun to not tease Ellie for her quick release. Whilst Dina knew the reasons behind it, it was too hilarious to witness an embarrassed and bashful Ellie. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fuck you.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You already did. That’s why you came so quick.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Exactly. You turn me on too fucking much. By the time it’s my turn, I’m ready to fucking explode.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Geez, sorry I’m so hot. Want me to wear a paper bag over my head next time?” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No. You go second next time.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Doesn’t that damage the dominant top reputation you’ve got going?” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Reputation? You’re the only person I’ve had sex with!” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Could’ve fooled me.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re annoying.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I know. You’re my favourite person to annoy.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fuck you.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m kinda waiting for you to do that again.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">For the first time, Ellie skipped the teasing. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She made sure Dina didn’t last five minutes. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>It’s been a while! Sorry for the delay on this chapter, I’ve been without internet for a week, and like I mentioned last chapter, have been super busy recently with work and education. I have plenty of content still to come, just need to finalise it and all that fun stuff. </p>
<p>Thank you all for your comments on last chapter! I was so nervous to post smut since I’d never written it before. You all seemed to like it, so I thought I’d just write it again heh. </p>
<p>A few of you mentioned you wanted more angst; don’t worry, it is coming at some point. </p>
<p>As always, thank you all for reading, and the comments and kudos. Next update should be within the next week.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. make me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Emily attempts to get Dina to spill the beans about her intimacy with Ellie. They attend a party and have a good ol’ time.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The weekend passed in a blur. Dina and Ellie spent the entire weekend wrapped up in each other, right until the sound of Joel’s truck pulling onto the driveway tore them from their bubble.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">That weekend had been spent sleeping in, smoking pot, watching movies, playing games, and admittedly, having lots of sex. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sex with Ellie was new, it was exciting and fun, loving and sexy. It was as if Dina had taken that first sip of the finest champagne; now that she’d had a taste of pure bliss and ecstasy, she couldn’t imagine anything better or beyond that. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Being with Ellie didn’t get better than that - just spending all of their time together, kissing and touching and doing things that they enjoyed. They didn’t even need to do anything exciting; they were just happy and content to be in each other’s company. Even sitting to watch paint dry would be entertaining if she was with Ellie. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Unfortunately, their perfect had to end at some point. After such an amazing and intimate weekend, the two both had a mountain school work to complete, meaning they didn’t have as much time for each other during the week. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Not that Dina would ever admit, but she felt a little touch starved right now. Well, more than a little; a lot, actually. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sleeping in her bed without Ellie’s warm body pressed against her was a little lonely. She missed her big spoon, the comforting weight at her back and Ellie’s gentle snores in her ear. It had only been four days, but she missed her girlfriend. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Nice shirt! Isn’t that Ellie’s?” Emily sniggered as Dina approached the table. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Where is everyone?” Dina asked confusedly, glancing over at the empty seats around their usual bench. The emptiness made Emily look incredibly small at the circular bench. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Jesse and Ollie have practise at lunch instead of after school today. Something about the coach having a hospital appointment to get a wart removed?” Emily shuddered at the final words, fighting off the disgusting images of Coach Seth’s wart. She didn’t know where it was, and she didn’t need to know. Coach Seth was already a disgusting dude, anyway. She’d heard many stories from Jesse and Ollie about how much of a slob that man could be. How he managed to become a coach, she would never know. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s gross.” Dina grimaced, taking a seat opposite the blonde. “Ellie has detention for the first half of lunch. She doodled a picture of Mr Birch strapped to a rocket. Apparently he wasn’t very happy.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Just us, then. Feels weird not having the boys around.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“And Ellie.” Dina added. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ellie is basically one of the boys.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina made a face before chuckling lightly, “I guess you’re not wrong.” She paused for a moment as she fished out her lunch from her bag, “Are you excited for Saturday?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m very excited, but I have a shit tonne of homework to blast out on Friday. Want to get it all finished before the morning so I can set up for the party. What are you doing on Friday? You better get a good nights sleep, because my birthday party is gonna be fuckin’ wild.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Probably just hanging out with Ellie. Joel wants to have a double date with his girlfriend at this Texas steakhouse a few miles away, so I think we’re going there on Friday night.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“A double date with your girlfriends dad? Sounds scary.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina laughed, “Wait ‘till you see what her dad looks like.” She pulled out her phone and scrolled through her gallery until she settled on a photo from the night of Esther’s birthday. The olive skinned girl shuffled around so she could sit beside her blonde companion. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The photo showcased Joel and Ellie stood beside one another, with Joel’s muscular arm wrapped around Ellie’s shoulder, a glass of whiskey in his free hand. They were both pouting, posing for Dina’s camera. It was a really sweet and lighthearted photo, and it made Dina smile at seeing it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He looks like a guy you really don’t wanna mess with.” Emily commented as she double tapped to zoom in on the bearded man’s face, “Does he like you?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina nodded, exiting the photo to scroll through the gallery in hopes of finding the video of Joel and Tommy arguing over monopoly. “He does. He even bought me my own toothbrush for when I stay over.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">As Dina scrolled through the large photo gallery, the drop down bar displayed a message from Ellie. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Fuck this detention, I’m leaving. Mr Bitch has fallen asleep. Where are you? </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Usual table with Em. Give Mr Bitch a kiss for me. </span>
  <span class="s1">Dina typed her reply quickly. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Is she talking about Mr Birch?” Emily said.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina nodded with a small smile, “Yeah. He hates her more than she hates him. And that’s saying something.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He </span>
  <span class="s2">is</span>
  <span class="s1"> a dick.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Tell me about it. Oh-here we go. This is Ellie’s dad and uncle.” She played the video, which showed the two Texans angrily arguing over a wad of Monopoly money. The accusing words they shot towards each other really bought out the already thick accents. Emily had a hard time understanding them. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Correct me if I’m wrong but I’m fairly certain Ellie doesn’t have a Texan drawl.” Emily laughed confusedly. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You do know she’s adopted right?” Dina said a with a raised brow. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh. Well I would know that if you actually, you know, told me?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sorry, Em. Must’ve slipped my mind.” Dina replied with a small laugh. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Where is Ellie from, originally? And how did she end up with the most Texas man I’ve ever seen.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Boston, but the system ended up moving her to group homes around here when she eight or nine. As for Joel adopting her, it’s a long story, but she was fourteen.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Damn. That’s a long time without a family, huh?” Emily said sadly, “Guess we should be more appreciative of what we have.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina nodded agreeably, but her face showed a small smile. “Kinda makes me feel guilty for all of the times I was a brat as a kid.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Honestly, same. I remember having a tantrum and ignoring my mom for like, three days because she wouldn’t let me stay at your house for New Years. What were we, like, 12?” The blonde said with a chuckle. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I remember that. You were so angry with her.” Dina laughed as she reminisced Emily’s angry texts buzzing her phone, and how bummed out she’d been that she couldn’t spend New Years with her friend. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They’d both grown up lucky. Lucky to have a family and stability; something a lot of kids grew up without. Ellie was just one in perhaps millions of children who spent their childhood starved of basic emotional needs. It was unfortunate she hadn’t realised it sooner, hadn’t appreciated just how lucky she was. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Emily started talking about her plans for the party, leaving Dina to eat her lunch and listen contently as Emily ran her through the plans. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It wasn’t warm outside, but Dina was layered up with a T-shirt, Ellie’s thickest flannel and a jacket. She felt too warm to be comfortable, opting to shed the jacket in order to cool down. It wouldn’t take long, considering the chilly breeze in the air. Luckily most of the year’s heavy snow had passed, with it being March time. The sun would start to feel warmer soon, which she was grateful for. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The cold air nipped at her wrists and neck after shedding the jacket, but it was welcoming to her overly warm skin. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Dina what the fuck is that on your neck?” The blonde exclaimed with a gasp, eyes wide as plates as stared at the side of Dina’s neck. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina’s hand flew up the purple bruise, the skin still tender and a little sore. She’d forgotten about the fucking thing. Even after almost an entire week, the hickey hadn’t faded much at all. Pink started to crop up on her cheeks and her body flushed, the chilly air doing nothing to cool her rushing blood. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Holy shit,” Emily laughed menacingly as she tried to remove Dina’s hand, though Dina wasn’t letting up, grip still tight over her neck, “That thing is huge.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina leant away from Emily’s advancing hands, “Alright, leave me alone now.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The dark haired woman couldn’t be more grateful to see Ellie walking towards them from across the school ground. “Shut up now, Em. Ellie’s here.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh, is she now?” Emily cackled devilishly, “Maybe I need to have a conversation with her, you look beat up.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Stop! You’ll embarrass her.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So you’ve had sex then?” Emily pressed giddily.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We’re not talking about this right now.” Dina growled through clenched teeth.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Later, then?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Stop it, Emily.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Was it good?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Emily, stop.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Were you bottom? Oooooh, you were weren’t you? You just lay there and let Ellie do whatever—“ </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Em, I mean it. Shut up.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’ve heard lesbian sex is like, mind blowing. Did Ellie fulfil the expectation?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Emily, she’s like, 5 seconds away. You know she gets shy.” Dina hissed desperately. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She cleared her throat as Ellie took the seat beside her. The freckled teen leaned over to press a kiss on Dina’s cheek whilst the other girl scowled at Emily. “Hey babe.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey.” Dina replied, her eyes still splintering Emily’s, a warning to back off and shut the hell up. “How did Birch fall asleep?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie chuckled as she slipped her arm around Dina’s waist, “Started talking to him about space. He got pissed off and just like, crossed his arms and tried to drone me out.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina rolled her eyes lovingly as she leaned into Ellie’s touch, “I almost forgot about your astronaut thing.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The blonde squinted her eyes at the couple, “Astronaut thing?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina lifted a hand to pinch Ellie’s cheek, a broad smile forming on her face as Ellie squirmed under her touch, “This one wanted to be an astronaut when she was younger. Bit of a space nerd, aren’t you?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie just grumbled something completely incoherent in response. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Emily raised a brow at the exchange between her two friends. It warmed her heart in the strangest way to see the two of them together, displaying their incredible but odd chemistry. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina was open and loud, chatty and flirtatious; she knew everyone, and everyone knew her. She had the ability to command a room without even trying to. In comparison, Ellie was closed off and reserved, unwilling to do anything that would draw too much attention to her. They shared the sarcastic nature of their personalities, and Dina actually laughed at Ellie’s ridiculous jokes. They were an extremely cute couple, for sure. Odd, but adorable nonetheless. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ellie?” Emily questioned suddenly, breaking the lovers gaze. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Is that your natural hair colour?” It was a question that had been burning in her mind for a long time; first glance, she thought it was brown, then when they’d become friends, the sun would change her perception completely when it shone onto the strands. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina laughed curtly and interrupted before Ellie could reply, “What? Ginger?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s not ginger!” Came Ellie’s offended retort, cheeks red from the biting cold. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Really? ‘Cause when the sun hits it just right it looks really fucking ginger and-“ </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s auburn, you fucking idiot.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Isn’t that what ginger people say when they don’t want to admit they’re ginger?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s not-Emily! Tell her!” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Emily laughed at the couple’s bickering, head shaking with amusement, “I only ask because I’ve never seen hair like yours before. Can’t tell if it’s brown or auburn or ginger-“ </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ginger.” Dina teased in a sing-song tone. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s fucking auburn!” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">—————-</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The restaurant Joel had dragged them to was very... well, very Texas. There were countless wooden cravings of the state pinned to the walls, accompanied by framed pictures of famous celebrities who came from Texas. There was a giant statue of a Texas longhorn in the corner of the room, meant for show and to give the restaurant some authenticity, but it was rather intimidating with its large horns and plastic, beady eyes. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Joel felt right at home, a beaming smile on his wrinkled face ever since they entered the busy restaurant. He’d shared a conversation with a gentleman at the bar; the bartender had been pleased to see an actual Texan in the restaurant. The man had even given him a free beer, complimenting him on his accent and stating that ‘us Texans gotta stick together’. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie thought it was fucking weird. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“-and I’ll have a diet cola with that, thank you.” Dina finished with a smile, handing the menu back to the young waiter. He smiled back, dimples forming in his freshly shaven cheeks. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Absolutely. If you need anything else, be sure to give me a shout.” He was speaking directly to Dina, a sickly smile playing on his lips, making Ellie’s blood simmer. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie thrust her menu into his hands with unnecessary force, putting on the fakest smile she could muster, speaking through clenched teeth, “Thanks, bud. Will do.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina raised a brow at Ellie’s forcefulness, a tiny smirk pulling at her lips. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So Dina,” Joel said from his position opposite Dina at the table, “You’re turnin’ Ellie into a little party animal, ain’t you?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A smirk pulled at her lips as she gave Ellie a quick glance, “Oh no. I think she’s always had it in her, just needed the right company.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That kid has two left feet, please make sure you look after her if she starts dancin’.” Joel said behind a small chuckle, before adding seriously, “and no fights.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Honestly I think she has dyspraxia, it’s not normal to be that clumsy. And no fights, promise.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m pretty sure I’ve seen her trip over a blade of grass before.” He laughed to himself as a memory came to him, “Ellie, you remember that time when we went to the zoo and you pushed the door that said pull and smashed your face in?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie crossed her arms and slumped in her seat, face tinted red, “How could I forget, Joel?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It was hilarious. Must’ve hurt, too.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I was nervous! I’d only been with you for what, a week?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You were too damn excited to see the animals.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Stop bullying her, you two.” Esther cut in before a sly smirk spread across her face, “You should’ve seen Joel on our first date. He accidentally tucked some of the table cloth in to his jeans when he was readjusting his shirt; he got up to go to the bathroom... and every glass and plate ended up on the floor.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Smooth, big man.” Ellie deadpanned through her giggles. “Surprised she didn’t dump your ass right there.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He blushed red and mimicked Ellie’s pose, arms over his chest and back to the seat, “Maybe spendin’ two years with you made me stupid.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re just old.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re callin’ Esther old as well, better be careful there, kiddo.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Esther looks good for her age. You on the other hand... geez.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re treadin’ on some mighty thin ice here. You keep goin’ this way and you’ll be paying for your own damn meal.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Not as thin as your hair is getting. Jesus, you are getting old. What was the point in adopting me if you only have five years left before you die of old age?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Through the entire exchange, Dina and Esther looked at each other in amusement at the father-daughter duo bickering. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Do you have to put up with this everyday since you moved in?” Dina asked the older woman, voice slightly louder in order for Esther to hear her over Ellie and Joel. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The woman nodded, “Sometimes I really like to watch them and other times I just zone out. They’re too much for my brain sometimes.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Eventually the bickering between the pair calmed down, and Dina was listening intently to a story that Joel was telling about the one time he got pulled over by the cops for listening to his music too loud in his truck. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A new voice entered the conversation, one that made Ellie snap to attention. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I got two Sizzler’s done medium rare!” The handsome waiter said, juggling two large plates with steaming food. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Esther and Joel claimed the food and thanked the young man as he set them down. He left with a smile, and returned a moment later. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I got Steak Massacre done medium rare?” He said with a tooth rotting smile, directed straight at Dina. Ellie’s top lip turned upwards in a sneer. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s mine.” Ellie said, and watched with a scowl as he placed the plate down in front of her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“So the Surf and Turf must be yours?” He said directly to Dina, who nodded in reply. The young man set the plate down in front of her, “Careful, it’s</span> <span class="s1"><em>hot</em>.” Then he winked. He </span><span class="s2"><em>fucking winked</em>. </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie was almost steaming at the ears by this point. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After the dickhead waiter left, Ellie furiously tore into her steak, “We’re not leaving that guy a tip.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Jealous?” Dina teased quietly, settling a hand on Ellie’s knee. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He’s a cunt.” she growled loudly, earning a horrified look from the family sitting a few tables down. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Joel’s warning voice cut into their conversation, “Ellie.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What-“ she stabbed into the steak with her fork, envisioning the waiters head, “It’s true.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You know I don’t mind you swearing but that word is just awful.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sorry old man. He’s a fucking dickhead, then. That better?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Joel just sighed. After nearly five years, that damned kid still had a mouth like a sailor. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">———-</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It’s Saturday night; Emily’s party is in full swing. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They’re a couple hours into the party now, both positively drunk and buzzing from the effects of alcohol in their systems. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina needed the bathroom, so of course, Ellie, being the best girlfriend in the entire fucking universe, offered to escort her there. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But before they reached the bathroom, Dina all but shoved Ellie into a vacant and unlocked bedroom. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Dina-we can’t. What if someone comes in?” Ellie mumbled as Dina moved to silence her with an open mouthed kiss. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We can make it quick.” Dina whispered drunkenly, desire dripping from her luscious lips as she pushed herself even closer. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Why do you get so horny when you’re drunk?” She slammed the shorter woman back against the closed door, pushing her hips into Dina’s with force. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Because you’re too fucking hot for my drunk ass to leave alone. And we haven’t had sex in almost a week, I need you.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie didn’t reply, instead opting to hastily pop the button of Dina’s jeans and roughly pull the zipper down. “I can’t believe you pulled me away from beer pong to have sex in your best friends parents room.” She skilfully slipped her hand into Dina’s underwear, her lips latching on to Dina’s neck. She couldn’t help the groan that escaped her, “Fuck, you’re so wet already. Better hope Emily’s parents don’t have cameras.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What they don’t know won’t hurt them.” Dina slurred as she angled her neck to the side to give her girlfriend a better angle. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You better stay fucking quiet then or everyone will know.” She growled into the other girls neck, increasing the pace of her fingers. As if right on cue, Dina let out a loud moan. Ellie’s free hand came to clamp over her mouth. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The muffled moans against her hand soon became louder and higher in pitch. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Dina came, Ellie swallowed the moans with a kiss. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I can’t wait to tell Emily that you fucked me against her parents bedroom door.” Dina said with a drunken smirk. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Don’t you dare.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You gonna stop me?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“If you do, I’ll tell her how long it lasted.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well, I fully intended on it being a quickie, that was the whole point; to be be quick.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fuck you.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I can’t fucking wait for you to take me home, El.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She smiled at that. “Neither can I.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">————-</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Emily is drunk; but so is everyone else. The house wasn’t as big as the last party Dina had attended, in fact it was much smaller; just your average three bedroom home, with no twisting staircases or huge libraries like Beth’s house (mansion, whatever). </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Emily had only invited her friends, which she had a lot of, but the numbers within the premises didn’t go above forty. The last party must’ve been in hundreds, at the least. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie disappeared with Jesse five minutes previous in search of Ollie, who had last been seen hugging the kitchen sink, throwing up and heaving. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">That left Dina and Emily in the garden, sharing a blunt, amongst a handful of other friends who were smoking a few metres away. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So, you and Ellie, hm?” The blondes eyebrows wiggled suggestively, words coming a little slurred. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina rolled her eyes as she handed the joint back to the birthday girl, “You really need to keep your nose out of people’s business.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Remember the day after you two first kissed? You were so sexually frustrated about a couple of kisses. You absolutely made it my business, I had no part in this; it was all you.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The memories of her outburst in the bathroom all those months ago came flooding back to her. Back when they’d been helplessly pining over each other, too scared to make a move, too scared to ruin the friendship they’d built. “Yeah, but that was, you know, different; I needed advice.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Emily scoffed as smoke puffed from her mouth and nose, “I know you’ve had sex with her, you may as well spill the beans.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina’s face reddened noticeably at the comment. “Yeah-yeah we have.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“And?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Definitely not complaining.” The dark haired girl attempted to hide her smirk from behind the rolled up joint, but it was so wide that anyone could’ve seen it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Emily squealed like a kid on Christmas morning, all giddy and jittery, “I’m so fucking happy for you two!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Please don’t ask me the details, though. Don’t think Ellie would appreciate me spilling all of her secrets.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re no fun.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I mean, I could tell you one thing; not sure if you’d appreciate it though, it’s pretty personal.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m all ears. You know I’m a sucker for TMI and all that.” The other girl leaned in eagerly, pupils dilated in interest (and maybe the high). </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“She fucked me in your parents room, against the door.” She spared a quick glance to her phone to check the time, “Around 20 minutes ago.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I take back what I said, you two are fucking disgusting.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You love me.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m honestly starting to question why.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">————</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was 2:30am when the young couple made it back to Joel’s house. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They tried to enter and slip into the taller girls bedroom as quietly as possible, but the alcohol in their systems made it extremely difficult; Ellie had tripped up the stairs twice and Dina had head butted the bathroom doorframe on her way in, and stubbed her toe on the way out. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Their hushed giggles echoed through the empty halls, accompanied by Joel’s animalistic snores. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“The old man is still asleep, this is a bonus.” Ellie whispered as she clumsily stripped from her clothes, leaving them a messy pool of fabric on the floor. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You weren’t kidding when you said he snored like an elephant on cocaine.” Dina replied as she peeled her own clothes off, eventually leaving her in just her underwear. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The sight of a matching lacy underwear set sent Ellie into a mental frenzy. Her brain short circuited, unable to focus on anything but the soft curves of her girlfriends body. Without thought, her hands found Dina’s waist and her fingers splayed out, touching as much delicious skin as possible. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The shorter girl’s hands curled around her shoulders before she started to slowly guide Ellie to the bed. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The backs of her knees met the bed frame and she fell backwards, naked back meeting the covers. She protested, reaching out her arms to attempt to coax Dina onto the bed with her, but Dina simply smirked and knelt on the floor between Ellie’s pale thighs. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie barely had any time to realise what was happening before Dina’s slim fingers found the waistband of her boxers and tugged. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Lift your cute little butt up so I can get these off.” Dina commanded lightly, breath hot on her thighs. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie did as she was told and Dina slipped them down her legs. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then Dina’s tongue was on her and stars exploded in her vision. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">————</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You need to be quiet.” Ellie’s voice hissed in the dark. The red hue from her digital clock was the only real source of light, it wasn’t strong enough to illuminate the room, but it was enough to bath Dina’s flushed face in a red glow. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I can’t.” Dina retorted back quietly, hips jolting as Ellie’s fingers found that perfect angle that blurred her vision and numbed her legs. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You managed it in Emily’s parents room.” The auburn haired girl reposted into her neck, teeth skimming over a bruised collarbone. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah-“ she fought off a moan, but a strangled whimper sounded in its place, “-but you’ve already fucked me once today, forgive me for being a little sensitive.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Geez, you actually sound pissed about that.” Ellie teased, curling her fingers upwards. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ellie-“ The gasp was cut short when Ellie’s lips covered her own, hard and pressing. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You really have to shut the fuck up.” The freckled girl mumbled against her lips. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Make me.” </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I’m so sorry for the delay on this one. Life has been kicking my ass recently! I promise the next chap won’t be so late. I’ve been working on a couple other things too (some have been in the works since before this story was posted) so hopefully I can share those with you all at some point. </p><p>There is angst coming your way soon (hopefully, kinda.) Wonder what Abby’s been up to, huh? </p><p>Thank you all for reading! Hope you enjoyed. </p><p>Stay safe my friends! Until next time!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. teen titans NO</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Joel sees something he shouldn’t have. Dina convinces Ellie to do something out of her comfort zone and it goes about as well as you would expect.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">April soon approached, meaning there was around two more months left of senior year; two months left of high school before closing up that chapter of their lives. It had been an incredibly wild ride for Ellie, from moving schools almost monthly when she was still in foster care, to becoming part of Joel’s family, to moving schools once again because of her violent fight with Abby; at the end of it all, she ended up happier than she could ever imagine.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She had supportive family, a handful of amazing friends who loved her and of course, an incredible girlfriend.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie didn’t know what she’d done deserve them but every day she woke up grateful that things had finally fallen into place. It took a long time, and the journey was long and painful, but she wouldn’t change any of it. All of the pain and loneliness and rejection led her here, to warm arms and acceptance and love.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">With Joel, Dina and her friends by her side, she felt like she could take on the world. Anything was possible with them beside her.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">——————-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The Wyoming weather was having some sort of seizure, gifting the residents with rays of extreme sunshine and muggy heat. It was odd to be out and about in clothes that were usually reserved for July time, but Ellie didn’t want to complain. How could she be mad at the freakish weather when Dina would wear cropped shirts to school?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Every time, without fail, seeing her girlfriend in those summer clothes left Ellie breathless. This girl, the beautiful, wonderful girl, was hers.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It didn’t matter that guys would stare at her girlfriend. Whenever Ellie noticed, Dina would laugh and press a kiss to her cheek and hold her hand a little tighter. Ellie was hers, and she was Ellie’s. That’s how it was, and Dina made sure that everyone was aware of it.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Emily has a hockey game on Friday. We’re going.” Dina said as they walked hand-in-hand through the school campus, towards the exit gate.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Do I not get a say in this matter? What if I have plans on Friday?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina thumb traced over the back of Ellie’s scarred knuckles, “Your plans for Friday was being with me anyway.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You got any proof of that? I don’t recall agreeing to spend the weekend with you.” Ellie quipped sarcastically.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You spend every weekend with me. I don’t need permission anymore. I make the rules now.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Alright then, Miss Authority. What are we doing now then?” Ellie looked down to her girlfriend as they walked hand in hand. She hoped Dina didn’t mind how much her hand was sweating in the heat. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well, it’s 3pm now... You say Joel and Esther won’t be back until 5:30?” Ellie nodded in reply, prompting Dina to continue, “Your house it is then.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You staying overnight?” Ellie tried to hide the childish excitement in her voice.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“If it’s alright with Joel.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He’ll be cool with it. He loves you.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Think he’ll still love me when he finds out I’ve been having sex with his daughter?” Dina teased slyly.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.” Ellie replied with a tug on Dina’s hand.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Holding Dina’s hand was probably in the top 5 of the Most Magical Things In The World list. Whenever Dina’s hand was in hers, their fingers laced together, her whole arm tingled. From the tips of her fingers all the way up to her elbow, her arm thrummed with tiny little shockwaves.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina’s hands were smaller than hers, much softer and fleshy, too. Despite the size difference, Dina’s hand felt so perfect in her own, like they were made for each other. Even with the absence of two fingers on one hand, their hands slotted together like jigsaw pieces.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She loved Dina’s hands. They were delicate, yet strong, with an absence of callouses or roughness like her own.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Those soft hands that felt incredible against her bare back, the hands that tugged her hair in desperation, the fingers that pressed into her shoulders-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Is there a reason we’re power walking like middle aged women on a morning run?” Dina asked with a small laugh.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We’re like, walking really fast. My little legs can’t keep up.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Just wanna get home, that’s all.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You sure it’s nothing to do with the fact that the house is gonna be empty?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Her cheeks flushed, “Maybe?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You can’t resist me.” Dina stated teasingly, purposely running her thumb over Ellie’s hand.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie sighed and rolled her eyes, “I mean, you’re alright I guess.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh, just alright?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Definitely below average.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Alright, I’ll remember that next time you want to have sex.”</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“Did I say below average? I meant totally </span> <span class="s2"> <em>above</em> </span> <span class="s1"> average, like 11 outta 10.”</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh don’t try backtracking on me now, Williams. You’ve said it now, no going back.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So all of the times I’ve called you beautiful or gorgeous mean nothing now?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Absolutely. You just said I was below average. Hurts my feelings.” The shorter woman mockingly held her free hand to her chest and sniffed, feigning tears.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fine. Well you may as well go back home then.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“But I like your bed.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What’s wrong with your bed?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“My bed doesn’t smell like you.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s because I don’t smell like hot garbage. You, on the hand, do.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina sneered playfully and jumped onto her toes to wipe her cheek across Ellie’s, smearing her sticky skin over Ellie’s. The taller girl wordlessly grimaced. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie’s speed walking got them back to her house in record time. The taller girl fumbled with the keys whilst trying to open the door, grunting in frustration every time the key missed the keyhole.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Someone’s eager.” Dina chuckled as watched Ellie’s clumsy attempts to open the door. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie just grunted in reply. </span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“Almost too eager. Are you </span> <span class="s2">sure </span> <span class="s1">that I’m below average?” Dina whispered into Ellie’s ear, her breath hot and voice low. </span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie shoved the keys into Dina’s hands. With a low laugh, Dina effortlessly opened the door and stepped inside, allowing room for Ellie to pass her. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Just as Dina was placing the key back in the lock, Ellie’s hands gripped her upper arms and forcefully turned her body towards hers. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">With a gasp, Dina’s back was pushed against the door, Ellie’s lips covering her own. The taller girls hands found her waist, holding her in place against the door. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina melted into the kiss, a rush of heat blooming in her stomach as Ellie pushed her body against Dina’s. Her hands wrapped around Ellie’s neck, nails digging in ever so slightly in the way that she knew Ellie liked. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Take me upstairs now.” Dina mumbled as she took Ellie’s lip between her teeth. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A rough cough echoed behind them. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The pair froze. The air suddenly grew deathly cold despite the warmth of their bodies and the heat outside. Dina didn’t dare look over Ellie’s shoulder. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie’s hands left her waist before she swivelled around, face flushed with embarrassment. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Joel stood in the hallway, his brow furrowed and his arms crossed over his chest disapprovingly. Dina finally understood why her friends found him intimidating. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Joel.” Ellie stammered pathetically, eyes wide with shock and embarrassment, “You-you good? Good day at work?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s my day off.” He replied with squinted eyes. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh.” Ellie chewed her lip, trying to resist the urge to twist her fingers, “Uhh, you had a chill day, then?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Her mind silently begged her adoptive father to not give them the talk. Not in front of Dina, it would be too mortifying, for the both of them. She’d already suffered the humiliation once, she wouldn’t survive it again. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Joel sighed as his arms uncrossed and his brow lost its judgemental crease, “Just... make sure you’re alone next time, alright?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Got it.” Ellie stammered, grabbing Dina’s hand and dragging her upstairs. When they reached Ellie’s room, Ellie didn’t shut the door. In fact, she pushed it open as wide as possible. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fuck that was awkward.” Ellie breathed out quietly. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina glared daggers at her from her perched position at the edge of Ellie’s bed, “I thought he was at work?” She hissed back. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I thought he was!” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He said it was his day off!” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I didn’t fucking know it was his day off!” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You lead me to your house with the promise of sex and your fucking dad cockblocks us. This is like a high school drama.” Dina’s groaned in frustration, throwing herself back onto the bed. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What do you want me to do? I can’t even look him in the face at the minute.” </span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“That’s your problem. He’s </span> <span class="s2">your </span> <span class="s1">dad.” Dina quipped, but Ellie could tell she was frustrated. Ellie couldn’t blame her, really. </span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I should pack my things, leave the country. I heard Europe is cool.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re being dramatic.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Dramatic? You asked me to call an ambulance when you stubbed your toe.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah, cause that really hurt. You can’t just up and leave the country ‘cause your dad saw us kissing.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh-ho, I absolutely can. I’m going to Holland, you can smoke weed legally there.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What about England?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“England is awful. It’s cold and it rains everyday.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“And Jackson isn’t cold?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well, duh, Jackson can be freezing. But England is... weird.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sure.” Dina said a little unsurely, but with a laugh. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Since the sex they planned was completely out of the question now, the pair settled on playing Crash Team Racing on Ellie’s PS4. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Of course, Ellie was the superior racer, having more practice on the game; but overall, she had more experience with the ways of a controller. Dina still sometimes forgot where R3 was and had to ask her girlfriend to remind her. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Don’t laugh,” Dina started as she settled the controller beside her on the bed, “But wasn’t this a game before? I’m sure I remember seeing this before but... much worse quality.” </span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“No, you’re right. Think the original came out in the late 90’s, all the way back on the PS1. Joel used to play it, he’s </span> <span class="s2">that </span> <span class="s1">old.” </span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I somehow can’t envision him playing a dumb kids game and enjoying it.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He used to play it with Sarah.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sarah... Dina had never heard that name mentioned before. She remembered that photoframe in the living room, with the little blonde girl in the soccer kit. “That’s her in that picture downstairs, right?” She asked cautiously, like she was treading on eggshells. She doesn’t know the history, but the tone in her girlfriends voice coupled with the fact Dina had never heard Joel mention a Sarah indicated that the story was painful. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah. It’s his daughter. She died a long time ago, hit by a drunk driver. It took a long time for Joel to get over it.” Ellie said quietly, partly because she didn’t want Joel to overhear, and partly because she was sad. Of course, she’d never met Sarah, but she was more than aware of how sad Joel became on his birthday. She tried to make it something special for him every year, but no matter what gifts she got for him, no matter how happy she could make him, the memory of losing his daughter would always be there. “I don’t think he’ll ever get over it. She died on his birthday.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s awful...” the raven-haired girl trailed off sadly, looking at her hands in her lap. “No father should ever go through losing a child.” She remembered her own father after loosing Talia. How he weeped, crushed by devastation and pain and loss. In those first few days after the news hit their little family, Dina was sure he never stopped crying. The pain of loosing his first born child was unbearable for her poor father. It must’ve been worse for Joel, because Sarah had been his only child. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Joel said I would’ve liked her.” The green-eyed girl stated quietly. She stayed silent for a few more seconds, lost in thought. A thought that had plagued her mind countless times in the past cropped into her brain; if Sarah had never died, would she have ever met Joel? Or would she have spent the remainder of her childhood being thrown between foster homes, never finding family, never being enough for someone to love her? </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It always upset her when she thought about Joel’s pain. He’d done so much for Ellie, given her things she wouldn’t even dare dream about; he deserved the world and more. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey,” Dina nudged her shoulder, “What do you say we have a rematch? I think I’ve nailed the tech now, and I’m gonna kick your ass.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’ll believe it when I see it.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They played for another half hour, with Dina managing to take the victory once. Of course, she mad a big deal out of it, refusing to acknowledge that Ellie had beat her countless times before. The auburn girl let her bask in her victory, though. She could be nice like that sometimes, especially when it came to her girlfriend. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Not much time passed before Joel called them for dinner. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oh fuck was this gonna be awkward. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">—————</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“The potatoes are great, Joel.” Dina attempted to start conversation as she scooped some of the creamy starchy food onto her fork. The awkward silence was too much for raven haired girl. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah, they’re good.” Ellie adds in quietly. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The three of them had been mostly silent through the dinner, all listening to Esther talk about her sisters tragic love life to avoid talking about what happened earlier. It was uncomfortable, to say the least. Ellie tried her hardest to listen to Esther’s story about her sister but it was proving extremely difficult. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“-and so Lisa arrived at the restaurant, her date didn’t even show up-“ </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Joel’s fork scraped across his plate loudly, causing Ellie to flinch at the awful screech. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“-so Lisa stayed at the restaurant, and then the waiter started talking to her, so she waited until his shift ended and they ate dinner together-“ </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie dropped her knife, having lost her grip on it attempting to cut into a pork chop. She scowled at the offending hand. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“-so then Lisa went back to his place afterwards-“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina coughed and smacked her chest to dislodge the vegetable stuck in her throat. Why did the slightest implication of sex have to come up just hours after Joel practically caught Ellie with her hand down her pants? </span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“-but the guy failed to mention his 13 year old sister was visiting, and he didn’t have a spare room in his apartment so she was sleeping in the </span> <span class="s2"> <em>bathtub</em> </span> <span class="s1">-“ </span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Joel let out a small humourless laugh, like he was trying to engage in his girlfriends conversation, but his heart just wasn’t in it. No doubt he was still recovering from catching his adoptive daughter being... well, an adult. </span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“-like, there was a pillow and duvet in the bathtub and the kid was </span> <span class="s2"><em>sleeping</em> </span> <span class="s1">there-“ </span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie failed to use her knife again, her two remaining fingers and stubborn thumb refusing to communicate with her brain. With a frustrated huff, she slammed the utensil down on the table. Dina seemed to notice her annoyance and nudged her foot with her own. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“-so my sister hightailed it out of there and didn’t look back. Made up some excuse about forgetting to feed the gerbils or something.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">No one said anything when Esther finished the baffling and downright weird story. Dina was the first to break the awkward silence, not wanting to come off as rude in front of her girlfriends family; “Wow, what a-what a creep. Right, El?” She nudged her foot into Ellie’s again, prompting her to contribute and share the weight. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah, what a freak.” Ellie quipped as she fought to cut the porkchop with only her fork. Of course, she was getting nowhere. Unfortunately she had been born one of those people who used a knife and fork “backwards” as Dina had put it. Apparently it was odd to use your left hand to use a knife and your right for your fork. Maybe if she had real parents as a child they could’ve taught her that; it would save the absolute ball ache of using a knife and fork right now. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The tension and awkwardness was getting way too unbearable for the auburn haired girl. She couldn’t bare to look her adoptive father in the eye. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Wanna go see a movie tonight?” Ellie asked, eyes on her girlfriend. Any excuse to get out of the house. They hadn’t been on a date for a while now and now would be the perfect time. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">With a cocked brow, Dina’s confused expression soon settled into one of understanding, “Sure. That’s a great idea. Fantastic, actually.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I think it’s a good idea, too!” Esther added excitedly, “Joel promised he’d take me to see the new Sam Taylor-Johnson movie. We could all go to the movies together!” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Joel visibly gulped. </span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“Who’s Sam Taylor-Johnson?” Ellie asked, thankful the conversation was flowing. Maybe if the conversation kept at a fast pace Joel would forget </span> <span class="s2">everything </span> <span class="s1">he saw earlier...</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh, he did those Fifty Shades of Grey movies.” </span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Oh. Great, now Joel would’ve </span> <span class="s2"><em>definitely</em> </span> <span class="s1">remembered... </span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina shoots the green eyed girl a look of pure hopelessness. Ellie swallows, glancing down at her plate to hide her rapidly reddening cheeks. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Actually,” Dina’s angelic voice cuts the silence, “we have a test to study for right? The uh, the history one?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah, yeah, you’re right.” Ellie stammers brokenly, thankful her girlfriend was smart enough to come up with a backup plan so quickly. </span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“Nope!” Joel cuts in sharply, “we’re </span> <span class="s2"><em>all</em> </span> <span class="s1">going to the movies tonight. I ain’t leaving you two alone to... study. Not when me and Esther are having a good night at the movies.” </span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The young couple shared a worried glance. Fucking Joel. They couldn’t fucking win. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No way, dude! No offence but there’s no fucking way I’m sitting through a movie about some straight couple fucking for two hours straight.” Ellie retorted, eyes frantically meeting Dina’s, trying to get the shorter woman to back up her point. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yeah, Dina didn’t really feel up to watching a steamy sex movie with her girlfriends parents either... </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Why don’t you watch the Teen Titans movie? Ellie loves cartoons.” Esther added in, so blissfully unaware of the absolute panic surging though everyone else in the room. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie opened her mouth to express her absolute fucking disdain for the newer versions of the Titans, but cut herself off. “Great idea! Teen Titans it is, right ba-Dina?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sure. I love Superman!” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie’s jaw visibly clenched. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">————-</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Honestly, the movie wasn’t </span> <span class="s2"><em>that</em> </span> <span class="s1">bad. It definitely had its flaws and inconsistencies, as well as out of character moments that frustrated Ellie to no end. But for a kids movie, it hasn’t been awful; just bad. 4/10. Could’ve been worse.</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Of course, her girlfriend didn’t understand why Ellie cursed it out so much, having never seen the original cartoon herself. She knew Ellie was a fan of the early 2000’s animation and held an immense bias towards the newer version. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Their movie finished just a little before Joel and Esther’s.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The entire 20 minute wait for Ellie’s adoptive father and his girlfriend was spent listening to Ellie rant about the movie.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Dina completely lost what her girlfriend was talking about, having no fucking clue who Red X or Slade was, she cut off the auburn haired girl with a kiss.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What was that for?” Her voice was confused, but her face displayed a beaming grin.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We were watching Teen Titans the same night we had our first kiss. Did you forget?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Of course not.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I mean, I know I’m a great kisser and all, but maybe I’m too good and I broke your brain or something.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Up for debate.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh really? I’ll remember that next time.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You won’t.” Ellie teased with a wink.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re right. And as much as I would love to kiss you right now, I can see Joel coming, so I better keep at least two metres distance.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie sighed, bringing her hand up to pinch the bridge of her nose. “Fuck me.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I had fun, though. We should go to the movies more often.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“As long as there are no straight sex dungeons, I’m down for that.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Promise.” The shorter girl held up her pinky and Ellie joking lifted her scarred hand.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Upon seeing the pinky-less hand, Dina laughed and shook her head. “You’re an idiot.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s why you love me, right?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes, that’s why I love you, you dork.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">On the drive home, Joel surprisingly did most of the talking. He asked Ellie and Dina how their movie was, if there would be a sequel and if Dina enjoyed it, since she didn’t share Ellie’s love of cartoons.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie had a suspicious little feeling that Joel was babbling away because he was scared Esther would talk about the movie. Sex talk was not on the table right now. Clearly, the bearded man was avoiding talking about their movie. Ellie was grateful her old man was stalling.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie could tell it was killing her girlfriend, not being able to ask how their movie was. Dina was always so polite to Ellie’s family, without it being forced. Her natural kindness was a wonderful thing, but right now Ellie knew she was struggling.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When they arrived home, it was late. They’d stopped for ice cream on the way back.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The two couples immediately retired to bed, exhausted from stuffing their faces with popcorn and ice cream.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After changing into some shorts and a light t-shirt, Ellie made sure the door was slightly ajar before slipping into bed with her girlfriend.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">At this rate, she’d never be able to sleep with the door shut when Dina was around.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But she guessed that was okay. As long as she was with Dina, it didn’t really mater.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">—————-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fuck me we overslept.” Ellie stammered as she threw herself out of the bed, foot catching under the rug and sending her flying into a chest of drawers. A Han Solo figurine fell down, crashing against the oak wood with a clang, “No! Shit, you’re gonna be okay Han.” Ellie stood it back up and examined for any damage. This thing had cost a goddamn fortune.</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">With a giggle, Dina sat up in the bed, the covers pooling around her hips, “You’re </span> <span class="s2">that </span> <span class="s1">upset about a <em>toy</em>?” </span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Dina, it’s a not a toy, it’s the 1982 Han Solo figure from Episode five. It’s a big deal.” After determining that the statue was okay and undamaged, Ellie sighed with relief before pulling on the first clothes she could see. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina started to rifle through Ellie’s unkempt drawers, “I forgot underwear. I’m borrowing yours.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“How do you forget underwear?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina just shrugged as she started to dress, every item of clothing she wore belonging to Ellie, minus her jeans and bra. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When they were both dressed and had used the bathroom, Esther greeted them in the kitchen, a steaming mug of coffee in her hands. “You girls need a ride to school?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Please. We overslept big time.” Ellie said as she forced a pair of black vans onto her feet, the laces still tied from yesterday. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’ll take you, Joel left early for work today.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Well, at least she could avoid him for another few hours. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The ride with Esther was smooth, much unlike riding in Joel’s clunky old truck. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Whenever Ellie’s eyes drooped from tiredness, Dina would slap her leg to stop her from dropping off. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“How can you be tired? We overslept.” Dina hissed after slapping her leg for the third time. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Not had red bull.” the sleepy girl replied, eyelids closing shut once more.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Good thing I snagged one from the fridge then, isn’t it?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You did?” The other girl pushed herself up from the car door, looking to Dina with eager eyes.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After fishing through her bag, Dina produced a can and thrust it into awaiting hands, “Here.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re the best, babe.” She pressed a kiss to Dina’s warm cheek before she cracked open the can and practically poured it down her throat. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You don’t need to tell me that.” The dark haired woman replied with a small, sly chuckle. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Alright,” Esther said as she parked the car beside the school gates, “Have a good day girls.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Thanks Esther!” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">With only minutes to spare before classes started, the couple jogged up the stairs towards the main door of the school. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The halls were jammed packed, rammed with other students rushing and tripping to get to class. With it being so close to the end of the year, the students started to slack off a little, becoming more relaxed and uncaring about the rules. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’ll see you at lunch, babe?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sure.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina offered her cheek and Ellie kissed it quickly. Ellie was only two steps on her way to class before Dina’s hand found her wrist and whipped her back around. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was quick, unexpected, and Ellie’s ankle clipped the side of the lockers when she changed direction. Biting back a yell of pain and surprise, Ellie came face to face with her wonderful girlfriend once more. The same face she hadn’t been able to tear her eyes off of for an entire weekend. The same face she’d fallen in love with so long ago. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Dina what-“ </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She was silenced by Dina’s mouth pressing firmly against her own, swallowing her words, leaving her breathless. A giddy and bashful smile gracing her lips, Ellie pulled back. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That shirt looks better with the sleeves rolled up.” Dina commented matter of factly, hands circling over the long sleeves of Ellie’s plaid shirt. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Dina, you know I can’t...” Ellie trailed off, gaze slipping from Dina’s face to her own hands; hands forever hidden in flannel or cotton sleeves. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ellie,” Dina said firmly, in a way that was grounding and caring, one hand cradling a freckled cheek and the other covering Ellie’s, “Who cares, huh?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“But-“ </span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“You’re strong, El. You’re brave. You have me and our friends. Whatever happens, we’re always here for you, </span> <span class="s2">I’ll </span> <span class="s1">always be here for you. So, who cares?” </span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay,” Ellie sighed, forest eyes flitting back up to warm brown, “You’re right.” Those brown, endless orbs that went of forever had the power of convincing Ellie anything. No matter what it was, if she had Dina, she would be okay. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Nimble fingers found the frayed edges of the oversized flannel sleeves, but hesitated just before moving. “Only if you’re sure?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah,” Ellie visibly swallowed, “Bound to happen sometime, right?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Silently, Dina rolled up the right sleeve to Ellie’s elbow, trailed her fingertips down the tattoo on her forearm, soft and loving. She moved to the left sleeve, her movements slow and gentle. Ellie kept her eyes fixed onto Dina’s face, even though the shorter girl was focusing on her sleeve. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“There.” Dina said, running her hand down Ellie’s arm, eventually letting it rest over the maimed hand. “You’ve got this, El.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I love you.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I know. I love you too.” The shorter woman pressed a gentle peck to Ellie’s lips, hands cupping her cheeks. “Now get to class, idiot.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">—————</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There were whispers. Ellie heard them as if they were hissed in her ear from an invisible snake, the words licking at her ears uncomfortably. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“-Holy shit, have you seen her hand?-” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">”-Has it been like that the entire time?-”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">”-Is that why she always wears long sleeves?-“</span>
</p><p class="p1">”-I bet that shit hurt.”</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The words, as shocked and prodding as they were, didn’t hurt her. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina has been right; why should she care? Her friends didn’t care, didn’t see her any differently because of her injury, why should she care about what other people thought?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“How’s my favourite lesbian?” Emily said as she took the seat at the desk beside Ellie’s. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Eh.” The auburn haired woman simply shrugged, fighting with all her might to not stare down at her hands. Looking at them would show that their words actually bothered her; and really, they didn’t. Because she had Dina, she had friends who saw her for her personality and not her sexuality or her injury. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“People giving you shit?” She nodded towards Ellie’s hand. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Not to my face.” Ellie said with a huff, folding her arms over her chest, leaning back in the seat.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“They’re just pussies.” Emily quipped, “They know you’re capable of handing their asses to them, they won’t dare say anything to your face.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie scoffed, eyes rolling sarcastically, “You understand why I kept it hidden for so long now?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The blonde shrugged in response, “It’s school. By the end of next week they’ll have something else to talk about.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Ellie’s gaze reached somewhere beyond Emily’s face, Emily shuffled in her seat to follow it. Dylan, the boy Ellie had beaten the shit out of all of those months ago, was striding towards them, confident in his step, chest puffed out, friends following close behind him. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Here we fucking go.” Ellie mumbled under her breath, expression unimpressed and bored. </span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“So the rumours </span> <span class="s2"><em>are</em> </span> <span class="s1">true.” The boy sneered as his eyes fell to her hands. </span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie wanted to knock that smug smirk right off of his fucking face. The obnoxious little prick. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re a bit late to the party, Dylan.” Ellie replied lazily, not bothering to spare him even a glance. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So what happened to you?” The dark haired boy asked with way too much confidence; far too much considering the last time they had spoken he was half conscious, blood spilling from his mouth. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Clearly, amputation. It’s more common than you think.” The auburn haired girl shot back, trying to keep the rising anger at bay. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Is that what happens to people when they fail conversion camp?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Without thinking Ellie flew out of her seat, only to be tackled by Jesse, his arms taking her by the waist and hauling her backwards. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Jesse, what the fuck-“ </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ellie, it’s for your own good.” Jesse stated firmly, not letting up on his vice grip around her middle. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dylan and his cronies erupted into sniggers. Dylan had some fucking nerve acting this obnoxious after what happened last time. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jesse was right; she knew he was fucking right but she furious. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Which hand do you use when you and Dina have sex? Does she even let you down there with that thing?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Dylan, you better shut the fuck up right now.” Jesse warned lowly, keeping his grip on Ellie still lightly thrashing in his arms, “You really wanna start this shit?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dylan ignored Jesse’s warnings, spurred on by the laughter of his friends, “I guess it’s not like, real sex though, is it? Y’know, cause there is no dick involved... Jesse, man aren’t you kinda pissed that your girlfriend left you for another girl? That’s a low blow if I ever saw one.” </span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“I swear man, if you don’t leave it </span> <span class="s2">now, </span> <span class="s1">shit is going to kick off.” Jesse yelled, arms straining as Ellie fought to wriggle out of his grasp. Jesse himself was starting to get angry. He didn’t like people messing with him, but he </span> <span class="s2">hated </span> <span class="s1">people messing with his friends. </span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Pfft, like that crippled dyke scares me-“ </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A small closed fist connected with Dylan’s face, snapping his head to the side. The entire class fell silent, save for a few gasps. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“<em>Motherfucker</em>-“ Emily yelled in pain, clutching her fist, knuckles red from the force of hitting the taller boys cheek, “Fuck me that hurt!” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You little bitch-“ the taller boy started, hand cradling his cheek. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Heh, that’s twice you’ve been fucked up by a girl.” Ellie snickered, her manic thrashing finally stilling as Dylan tenderly nursed his cheek. “Aren’t such a hard man now are you?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The tense atmosphere was torn apart by the school bell chiming, signalling the start of classes. “Go on, fuck off.” Ellie scowled at the boy, malice leaking into her words, “You think you’re so fucking cool but look around you. Everyone thinks you’re scum.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dylan scanned the room, brow furrowed at the endless sets of disapproving eyes baring into him, looks of disgust and hate of their faces, all directed at him and his friends. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It took a few moments, but eventually they left the room, scowling and cursing under their breaths. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie would’ve smirked at Dylan leaving with his tail between his legs, but the anger still bubbled uncomfortably in her stomach; a familiar and unwelcome feeling, the sensation of it burning her skin and warming her blood. She hadn’t felt like that in a while now. She didn’t like it. </span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“Fuck me, what an absolute </span> <span class="s2"><em>cunt</em>.” </span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jesse finally unraveled his arms from Ellie’s torso, planting her feet delicately on the ground.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Emily was still clutching her hand, red swelling engulfing her knuckles, “Ellie-what the fuck, how did you manage to beat the shit out of him the first time? I think I’ve just broken my goddamn hand.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">With a breathy laugh, Ellie shrugged.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Suddenly, the three friends were surrounded by the bystanders, all leaning over and asking questions. It was all a bit jumbled up, especially for someone like Ellie, who’s brain got easily overstimulated by crowds and noise.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“-Are you okay, Emily-“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“-Ellie you should’ve knocked his block off-“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“-What gives him the right to say that shit-“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“-want an ice pack for that, blondie?-“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“-why did you hold her back, I wanted to see him flattened out on the floor-“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Head already throbbing, a headache spreading through her entire brain, all Ellie could bring herself to do was mutter a small “fuck me” and slump back into her seat.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">————-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina was already waiting for her at the end of school.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie had contemplated rolling her sleeves back down, cover the scars, repress the memories; but that would mean she was letting the dickheads - people like Dylan - win, and she wasn’t about to do that. She would not give that dickhead the satisfaction.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Besides, the truth was out now. Ellie had been aware of the whispers after Beth’s party, but to the other students, it was mainly speculation. She’d had her hand on display at that party, yeah, but not a single person at that party had been within a mile of being sober. If they saw it, they either didn’t remember, or didn’t trust their drunken memories that well.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Good day?” Dina greeted, fingers immediately finding Ellie’s forearm.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“If by good day, you mean almost getting into a fight with dickhead Dylan in a classroom, then yeah, it’s been just peachy.” The words came out harsher than she meant to. Her body language didn’t help matters either; her shoulders were stiff, her arms were crossed over her chest, fingers tucked between her body and arm in the way that had become second nature to her.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie saw the guilty expression on her girlfriends face and immediately felt remorse pulling at her heart.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Was it because-“ Dina started guiltily, but Ellie cut her off before she could continue.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Kinda. Started off with it, then moved to the usual homophobic shit.” She shrugged, forcing herself to take one of Dina’s hands in her own, “Doesn’t matter now.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I feel bad. It was my idea and now everyone is talking about it.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s fine, really.” The taller girl tried to brush it off. She wrapped her arm around Dina’s shoulders and lead her towards the exit, “Don’t worry ‘bout it.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ellie-“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Dina. It’s fine. Some people saw it at the party so it wasn’t exactly the biggest secret around.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“But I pressured you into it.” The shorter girl replied in a small voice, laced with guilt.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey,” Ellie pressed a small kiss to the side of Dina’s head, “It’s fine. Like you said, people will forget about it soon. Sure people will stare and all of that, but I don’t care.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina leant her head into Ellie’s shoulder as they walked, “You sure?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Of course. Now let’s forget about it, yeah?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay. I’ll make it up to you, promise.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m sure you will, babe. I’m sure you will.” </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry for the long wait, I get it, I’m a bad person. This chapter is a little longer than usual to make up for it, though. Forgive me? </p><p>Thank you all for reading and stay safe out there! </p><p>(Also I also hold my knife and fork “backwards”. Please tell me I’m not the only one.)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. blast from the past</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>TRIGGER WARNING FOR: Panic attacks, blood, violence. </p><p>Dina &amp; Ellie watch Emily’s quarter final hockey game. Ellie goes into panic mode, leaving it up to Dina to help her. Joel is Joel.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Ellie returned home from school, Joel was sat at the counter waiting for her. Instead of a usual steaming coffee, he had a whiskey on the rocks cradled in his hands. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The look on his face was serious, if not a little awkward - a little pained. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie kicked off her shoes and dropped her bag before nonchalantly walking over to the fridge to grab a soda. “Everything alright, Joel?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Just sit down a second, Ellie.” His tone sounded serious, and for a second Ellie grew anxious; had someone died? Was Tommy and Maria and Esther okay? Fuck could this day get any worse? </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Silently, she sank into the bar stool opposite her adoptive father. “Is everything okay...?” She trailed off, worried. Joel was being weird. She really hoped her family was okay.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah, yeah, everything’s fine. Just needed to talk to you, that’s all.” The sip he took from the glass was loud, awkward in the silence. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A feeling of dread sinks low in her stomach and the situation hits her. </span>
  <span class="s2">
    <em>I swear to fucking god... </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So, ahem,” The bearded man cleared his throat, eyes looking somewhere, anywhere that isn’t her own eyes, “You and Dina are... intimate.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Joel.” She said warningly, blush creeping up her neck, suddenly feeling the uncomfortable warmth that often came with embarrassment. Her nerves were set aflame; why was he bringing this up </span>
  <span class="s2">again?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I know we’ve had this chat already. I care about you, kid.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What does you caring about me have to do with...” Having sex? “-this?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I just want to be sure that you’re happy an’ all that.” The man tried to smile but it came off a little pained. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie’s awkward smile was reassuring, “I’m happy.” What else was she supposed to say? That she fucking loved Dina sitting on her face?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Has, uhm,” he cleared his throat again, his throat producing a deep rumble, “Dina and Jesse used to date, right? Has she, uhm, been tested? For - uhm - well, you know what I’m talkin’ about...” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh my fucking god.” She muttered incredulously under her breath, wishing to be anywhere but here. “She’s fine, Joel. We’re fine.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Alright.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Can... can we change the subject now?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sure.” A moment of awkward silence ensued, and Ellie was considering bolting to her room before Joel could begin awkward small talk. “Do-do ya’ll need anything?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A scoff tore from Ellie’s lips, “Like what? Condoms?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fair point. Uh-well, how was school today?” The bearded man cringed at his attempt of changing the conversation. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Just a usual day.” Ellie lied, casual and uncaring. She’d be lying if she said that today didn’t bother her, but it was done now; it was out in the open and she wasn’t keeping secrets anymore. People could stare all they wanted. She had her friends and her family and wonderful girlfriend to keep her from spiralling. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No one been givin’ you and Dina any shit?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We’ve had a little over the months, no big deal. It’s what comes with being gay. Sounds sorta cliché but you get used to it.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Why didn’t you tell me? If it’s anything like last time—“ </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Joel, it’s fine, I promise. It’s different this time around. Things are better here.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You sure?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She didn’t even need to think of her reply. “Positive.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">————-</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie (6:39pm): Soooo the old man just gave me a heart attack </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina (6:42pm): You see him naked or something??? </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie: No, no, thank fuck. That would’ve actually killed me </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina: That’s for Esther’s eyes only </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie: Alright, alright stop you weirdo </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina: so... how did he give you a heart attack?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie (6:43pm): so basically</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie: I got home from school, normal shit. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie: he was sat there with a whiskey </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie: which, you know, isn’t out of the ordinary for Joel. He likes his whiskey </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie: he says he needs to talk to me... </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie: so I’m like, shit. Tommy’s had a heart attack or Maria’s been ran over or Esther’s pregnant </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina (6:44pm): Esther, pregnant? dude, she’s like 50 something. She’s probably too old for that </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina: anyway, why would that matter? you sound like a parent freaking out over their teenaged kid </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie (6:45pm): I don’t know, it just sprung to mind?? Anyway</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie: so I ask him if everything’s all good </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie: he says it’s fine </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina: right... </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie: then he gives me the sex talk </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie: AGAIN </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina (6:46pm): oh no </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina: is that cause he saw us making out </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie: yep</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie: he was like “has she been tested” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie: and asking if I was happy </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie: like dudeee </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina: oh shit Ellie I’m sorry </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina: that reminds me </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina: I’m positive </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Ellie (6:47pm): ...</span><br/><br/>Ellie (6:50pm): ????????</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina (6:52pm): positive of being a hot ass piece of ass </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie: fuck you </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie: you actually fucking scared me for a second </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie: I hate you </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina (6:53pm): do you? Cause I’m pretty sure you love me </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina: and my 10/10 hot piece of ass </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie: I hate you </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie: but I love you </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie: and your ass </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina: huh </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina: gayyyy </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie (6:54pm) anyway </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie: he asked if we needed anything </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie: staying safe and all that </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie: you think we should buy condoms? </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina: 100%, gotta stay safe haven’t we </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie: don’t want any children popping out unexpectedly </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina: imagine </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina: 9 months from now and a little Ellie/Dina pops out </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina: freckles everywhere </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie (6:55pm): so, condoms? Size XL? ;) </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina: for your ego, yeah </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie: where do you even buy condoms anyway </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie: just curious </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina (6:56pm): like normal stores </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina: maybe the airport, probably </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina: sex shops </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie: shall we buy some for Ollie’s birthday </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie: cause him and his girlfriend are getting serious now right </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie: there is no way that dude is ready to be a parent </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina: are you trying to get me in a sex shop? </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie: ew no </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie: no way </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie: I was kidding </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina: chill out, I’m kidding </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie (6:57pm): so </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie: Joel and Esther are going out tomorrow night </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie: just saying </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina: interesting, how long for? </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina: btw </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina: you left your shorts at mine the other day, my mom washed them for you </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie: they’re going with Tommy and Maria to some open mic thing, one of Tommy’s buddies is playing</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie: so, free house </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie: also tell your mom I said thank you please </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina (7:00pm): sure </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina: my mom just asked me for some advice </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina: wants to get my brother a video game for his birthday. She doesn’t know what to get him </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie: well </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie: he told me a few weeks ago he really wants a switch </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie: it’s more expensive than a game but I’ll be happy to chip in </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina (7:01pm): you just want one don’t you </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina: you’re gonna use my poor brother so you can play video games </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie: no </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie: well kinda </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie: but he really wants one </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina: alright I’ll tell her </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina: also can you stop leaving your socks under my bed </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie: I don’t do it on purpose </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie: I just forget to take them off before I get in bed </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina (7:02pm): you’re so weird </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie: you’re weird </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina: do you wanna call? My thumbs are tired of typing </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie: pffft </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie: sure </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina: why “pffft” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie: well </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie: what kind of gay doesn’t have finger stamina </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina: thumbs </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina: I’m using my thumbs to type </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie (7:03pm): I thought you said your thumbs were tired </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina: they are </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie: call me then </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina: no you call me </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie: dina </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie: I love you </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina: I know </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina: you gonna call or...? </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie (7:04pm): no </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina (7:08pm): ok have a nice night </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie: okay okay I’ll call </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Incoming call from El </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">————-</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Apparently, Jackson High was big on hockey. She’d never even realised. Perhaps all of her focus had been on a particular girl for all of these months. Even before their first kiss, Dina captured all of her attention. It was hard to keep her eyes to herself when someone as wonderful and beautiful as Dina existed. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yeah, she still couldn’t believe she got to call Dina her girlfriend. Got to kiss her and touch her in a way no one else was allowed. It was mind blowing. She didn’t think she’d ever get used to that feeling, the feeling of someone being hers and belonging in return. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The stands were larger than they had been at her previous school, allowing for more people to fill them to cheer on their teams. The seats were coordinated with Jackson’s team colours, a collage of blue and white. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Ellie and Dina arrived at the game fifteen minutes before the warm up started, the stands were already close to being full. She loosely wrapped her arm around Dina’s shoulders, offering a friendly smile to her girlfriend, who returned it. Dina pressed a kiss to her cheek and once again, Ellie was reminded of how lucky she was to call Dina hers. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jackson’s team arrived on the pitch and started their routine warm up. Stretches, jogging, a few drills. Ellie remembered her own drills from her hockey days and found that she didn’t miss playing as much anymore. Sports had always been an escape for her, a way to release some of her anger that had unfortunately started to grow as the weeks went by. Things were better now and Ellie found herself not feeling those emotions anymore. There were times she missed playing competitively, but she’d found other ways to occupy her time. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The couple chatted whilst watching, keeping all of their attention on their blonde friend as she ran a passing drill. Ellie vaguely thinks back and wonders if she’d ever played the Jackson Titans when she’d been on the previous team. According to Emily, the Jackson Titans had made it to the finals four times in the last five years, and won two times. Surely, Ellie would’ve crossed paths with this team once or twice, but she couldn’t remember. Her high school days before moving to her current school hadn’t really been memorable for the right reasons. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Her attention was drawn away when the opposing team entered the pitch from the far side of the field. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Who are we playing, anyway?” Ellie asked as she admired Emily’s dribbling skills. She’d seen her smash Dylan’s face in once this week and dreads to think what she would be capable with with the hockey stick. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m pretty sure Emily said it’s a semi-local team. Umm, something beginning with W?” Ellie’s grip around Dina’s shoulders tightened. “Wyoming Wolves?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Everything seemed to stop right then. Her heart started to race quickly, her face tingled, she felt sick. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And then the opposing team began to take their place on the fields. Shakily, Ellie fixed her eyes on the players, who wore red and black as their away colours. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She spotted bulging muscles and a long, blonde braid. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I-I need to go.” Ellie stuttered panically, struggling for breath as she fumbled to locate her bag. It was right beneath her feet, but her trembling form didn’t allow her mind to register it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The feeling of being boxed in, like the entire crowd was closing her in, was suffocating her. There was too many people, too much noise and not enough space to breathe. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ellie?” Dina called out worriedly when Ellie started throwing herself over other students to get out. “Ellie?” Her cries fell on deaf ears. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie’s chest felt incredibly tight, breathing laboured and fast, dizzying and nausea inducing. There were pins and needles pricking her arms and face. Was she too hot or too cold? </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She just couldn’t get enough air. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Stumbling, she collapsed against a tree on the field not too far from the stadium. Her vision was blurred, throat parched and dry, chest painfully convulsing with each laboured breath she took. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Her vision was plagued with her bloody hands wrapped around Abby’s throat, the other girls face slowly loosing life as she started to turn blue. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She could feel the crunching of her own bones, when Abby’s teeth tore through the flesh and shattered the delicate bones in her fingers. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie couldn’t breath. The open space of the empty field did nothing to make her calmer; everything was closing in on her at an alarming speed. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">———-</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Her broken nose poured with blood, staining her shirt. Her fists hurt, her torso ached, but she couldn’t stop. She layered punch after punch to Abby’s swelling face. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>She was done being the laughing stock. She was done with being berated and humiliated. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>The furious strikes did nothing to quell her rage or dampen her pain. Bloody hands found Abby’s neck. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Her hands clamped down hard, all of her energy focusing on one singular objective; to fucking hurt Abby. To hurt her the way she felt inside, to tear her apart, to make her feel even a fraction of what Ellie felt. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>She felt nothing but hate. All of the anguish, anger and pain she’d ever felt in her life was thrumming in her hands as she squeezed tighter and tighter. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Ellie was not in control of her body. The fury was, the hate was; the hurt was. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Everything she’d ever had to face in her short, lonesome life fuelled the rage within her. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Abby’s legs thrashed, her abdomen twisted, strong hands swatting at Ellie’s battered, bloody face. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Ellie slammed the blonde’s head down into the ground with a grunt, squeezing impossibly tighter. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Abby choked and wheezed, desperate for oxygen. Bruised hands flew to Ellie’s arms, abdomen, shoulders, face; attempts to find a weakness, a way out from the hands that crushed her windpipe. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Ellie knew she was panicking, but she didn’t care. The desperation in Abby’s bloodshot eyes did nothing to stop her. Nothing would stop her. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>The bloodied face above her hands was turning blue, the thrashing girl beneath her growing more and more desperate. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Ellie wasn’t in control. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Her grip tightened. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Abby’s face was blue. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>She wasn’t in control. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Her eyes were bloodshot, losing life. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Ellie didn’t notice; she’d lost all control, all sense of rationality. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>A fist crashed into her chest, winding her and knocking the breath out of her. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Her grip loosened slightly.</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Then there was so much fucking pain. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>So much blood. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Her blood.</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Abby’s blood.</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>The nausea hit full force, adrenaline nonexistent. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Abby was crying, gulping down oxygen, gasps ragged and harsh. There were bruising handprints around her neck, smudged with blood. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>She didn’t know when she moved off of Abby’s body, but she must have at some point. The other girl was scrambling to get away, her bloody hands over her neck, covering the finger-shaped bruises. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>There was a broken sob from Abby. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Hearing it stamped out of the fire in Ellie’s heart, snapping her back to reality. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>So much blood. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Abby gasping for oxygen. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Her fingers were gone. Her fingers were gone. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>She’d lost control. She’d lost control. She’d lost control. She’d lost control. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Ellie?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>She’d lost control. Her fingers were gone. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Ellie?!” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>She’d lost control.</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">————-</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ellie!” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There were hands on shoulders, firm and pressing. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Panicked green eyes flitted upwards, meeting warm brown. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Breathing short, almost matching the pace of her racing heart, Ellie thrust out a hand to find Dina’s arm, something to hold on to, something to ground her back to reality and escape from the painful flashback. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There was immense pain in her hand, but her panicked state couldn’t tell if it was phantom pain or her brain tricking her into believing she experiencing the injury again. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Her remaining fingers curled into a fist. The fingers were gone, but there was no blood, just pink, scarred stumps. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ellie.” Dina’s voice was firm, loving, scared. Her hands slipped from trembling shoulders up to her freckled face, thumbs skimming over the tear tracks on her cheeks. “Can you tell me five things you can see?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Just trust me. Five things you can see. Please.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Trees-grass-you,” Her thundering heart made it hard to speak, hard to pull the oxygen from the air that she so desperately needed, “B-blood. My hands.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Two more things you can see, babe. You’re okay.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie searched desperately, wishing crimson would stop tainting everything in its dangerous red hue, “My-my shirt on you. Your necklace.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Good. Now four things you can touch?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Her shaking hands hadn’t left Dina’s arm since she’d crashed back into reality. “The shirt. Y-you. Tree roots. The grass.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Three things you can hear?” Dina soothed gently, voice as gentle as her hands. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Birds. The wind. Your voice.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s great. Two things you can smell?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hot dogs. Your perfume.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“And one thing you can taste? If it’s hot dogs, I’m calling a doctor.” The chuckle didn’t do much to hide the fear that constricted her throat and clogged her voice. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">I can taste blood. </span>
  <span class="s1">“Not hotdogs.” She breathed out shakily, releasing her grip from Dina’s arm and encased her scarred hand in her abled one. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Squeezing the stumps never helped with the pain, but right now it was a reminder; a reminder that they’d been gone for a long time, that she wasn’t bleeding, she wasn’t </span>
  <span class="s2">really </span>
  <span class="s1">in pain. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was all in her head. That was the point of phantom pain, right? It wasn’t real. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“How did you know what to do?” Ellie rasped, now able to take slower and deeper breaths. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina shuffled to lean against the tree beside her. Ellie laid her head down into Dina’s shoulder, relishing in the immediate relief and comfort the simple action gave her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Joel told me this happens sometimes.” Her soft hand moved to cover Ellie’s clammy ones, “I did some research. This method was the most popular one.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie was truly touched that Dina had gone out of her way to research and learn about how to deal with panic attacks, but Dina deserved an explanation, she deserved the answers as to why she’d ran off. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A shaky sigh left her lips, “The Wyoming Wolves were my old team, back when I could play.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina clicked the pieces together quickly, but allowed Ellie to continue, “The school I went to before...” Her downcast gaze settled on her hands, watching as Dina gave them a gentle squeeze, “It just... sent me back, you know?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The olive skinned woman hummed in acknowledgment, “It’s okay. You’re here, you’re safe. You’re with me.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Another sigh left her lips, “I’m sorry I bolted. I just... needed the open space. I felt like I couldn’t breathe.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Don’t apologise, dummy.” Dina replied almost instantly, “It’s okay.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“She was there. Abby.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina was silent for a few moments, her fingers twiddling some short auburn strands at the back of Ellie’s neck. “You still feel guilty, don’t you?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah.” Came her defeated sigh, “It... traumatised me. I... I almost killed her.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You shouldn’t beat yourself up about it. In the end, you both survived, but you still came out worse off than she did.” A soft hand separated her own and a gentle thumb swiped over the aching stubs. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I can’t afford to ever lose control like that again. That... what came out of me that day, it wasn’t me.” </span>
  <span class="s2">It was something primal, something with a terrible lust for blood. Something broken and animalistic. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I know.” The smaller girl said with a smile, placing a gentle kiss to Ellie’s hair, “The real you is loving. Caring. Stupid and dorky and sweet. Oddly romantic in your own weird way. I could go on and on.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I don’t deserve you.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Shut up. I love you, Ellie. Nothing will change that.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You promise?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Promise.” Dina affirmed, pressing another kiss into her hair. “How are you feeling?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Better. A bit shaky, but better.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Another kiss to her hair, “Good. Do you wanna go home?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie shook her head lightly, not liking the headache that pounded her temples. “No. It’s a big game for Emily. We can’t go home.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina moved her head so she could look down at her with those big, dark concerned eyes, “You sure? Emily would understand, she wouldn’t be mad.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I know, I know,” Ellie assured, “But I’ve never seen her play before, and she’d want us there. Especially you.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After a moment of silence, Dina pressed another kiss to her head before mumbling a quiet “are you sure?” into her hair. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie’s heart fluttered at the kindness of her words. It was impossible to ever doubt Dina’s love for her, not when she was so caring and generous and patient with her. “I’m sure.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Shall we head back, then? You’ve been sat on that tree branch for so long I’m surprised you can still feel your ass.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie choked out a laugh, the feeling of love and warmth filling her chest so much it almost it hurt. “I can’t feel my ass.” Nor her face, save for the ache in her cheeks at smiling so damn wide. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“C’mon.” Dina offered her hand and pulled Ellie up when she took it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">As soon as Ellie was on her feet, she pulled Dina into an embrace and squeezed her. “I really fucking love you.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I really fucking love you too, idiot. Now come on, or we’ll miss the second half.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie pulled her face away from Dina’s shoulder and pressed a firm kiss to her lips, hoping to transfer all of love and appreciation into that one kiss. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They started their short journey back to the stadium hand in hand. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey, babe?” Ellie started with a cheeky smile, “How do trees get online?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina rolls her eyes but humours her girlfriend anyway, “I don’t know. How do trees get online?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“They just log in.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh my fucking god, I can’t take you anywhere.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">———</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">As much as Ellie didn’t want to go back, to look her traumatising past straight in the face, she knew the images that haunted her would never go away and she would never be able to truly move on if she didn’t do this. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina guided her through the crowds, back to their empty seats, never letting go of her hand, no matter how sweaty it became. They ignored the strange looks from their peers and settled back into the seats. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Jackson won a point, just seconds before half time, the crowd erupted into cheers. Ellie did her best to join in - for the sake of herself and Dina. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After half time, the players returned the court, determined to take the win and leave the other team in the dust. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie wondered if Abby had noticed her, or any of her other old teammates. It was unlikely, considering how dense the crowds were that packed the stands, but not impossible. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It must be hard to forget the face of the girl who got her fingers bitten off at school. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina held her hand for the rest of the game, expressing her love through action. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie tried her hardest to keep her attention focused on their home team and Emily as she zipped across the pitch. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">However, she couldn’t help but watch Abby. She hadn’t changed much, still muscled and she still wore her hair the same. Ellie wondered if Abby had found someone else to pick on. Someone else to tease and berate. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Or had she changed? Had her near death experience been the thing that knocked some sense into her? </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie thought back; thought back to when school was a nightmare, where there was no escape and the hurt she felt blossomed into something much uglier, something dangerous and uncontrollable. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She remembered every hurtful thing the other girl had ever said to her, everything she’d ever done to her. There was so much history, too much for any type of reconciliation. It didn’t matter if Abby had changed, if she’d become a better person; they were out of each other’s lives, for the most part. Just because Abby was here playing a game didn’t mean she was back in her life. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie was in a better place now, surrounded by love and friends and people who would look out for her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina must have caught on to her private thoughts, squeezing her hand to let her know she was still there. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie tore her eyes away from the girl in red and turned to her girlfriend, offering a weak smile. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You wanna get ice cream after the game?” Dina asked, bumping her shoulder affectionately, “my treat.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sure.” Ellie kissed her cheek and turned her attention back to the game, just in time to see to a Titan score. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The crowd erupted into loud cheers, Dina and Ellie joining them. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">—————</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Joel and Esther had already left by the time Ellie and Dina showed up.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It had been a rather exhausting day. It was only 7pm, but Ellie felt drained. Her panic attack had sucked most of the energy out of her, leaving her tired and feeling a little weak. She couldn’t tell if she was hungry or not, too tired to do anything about it if she was. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina, being the attentive and caring girlfriend she constantly proved herself to be, noticed Ellie’s fatigue and banished her to the couch whilst she started on dinner. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What do you want to eat, El?” Dina called from the kitchen as she rumbled through the half empty fridge. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I don’t mind, babe. Not really that hungry.” Ellie called back, settling into the couch and stretching her legs to rest her feet on the coffee table. Joel would kill her if he saw her right now. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You have a lot of instant ramen.” Dina commented, a little confused. There was almost an entire shelf in the cupboard full of it, all different styles and flavours. Hot and mild, vegetarian, the list went on. “Didn’t take Joel or Esther to be a instant food kinda person?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Much too comfortable on the couch, Ellie didn’t want to risk falling asleep just yet for fear of messing up her sleeping schedule. She pushed her aching body to stand up and join Dina in the kitchen. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s kinda a funny story, actually.” Ellie said with a tiny chuckle, taking her seat at the counter. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina continued to potter around the kitchen, checking some other cupboards before sticking her head in her fridge again. “Humour me.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well,” Ellie began with a smile, leaning back against the counter top so she could watch her girlfriend, “when Joel first took me in, obviously he had to make a few changes to the house and stuff. Buy me more clothes, stuff for my bedroom, all of that shit. Of course fourteen year old me had never even had a fraction of that money spent on me before. I felt so guilty that Joel had to buy me all of that stuff, from toiletries to bedding to pretty much everything. He asked what my favourite food was and I thought of the cheapest thing in my head so he wouldn’t have splash out any more cash. So I lied and said my favourite food was instant ramen.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina raised a brow, very amused by younger Ellie’s antics. Whilst it was cute the way she lied for Joel’s benefit, she couldn’t help but ache a little at the reminder of how little Ellie had a child. “You do like ramen though, right?” She asked, holding up two packets with the intent to cook them for dinner. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah, I like ramen. Not my favourite, but I like it.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Judging by the dozens of packets in here, I’m gonna guess you never told him it’s not your favourite?” Dina asked, tipping the contents into a large bowling before flicking on the kettle. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Of course not. I think for the first week I ate nothing but fucking noodles. Tommy and Maria thought I was a strange kid.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I mean, they weren’t wrong, were they? You are pretty weird.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Not as weird as you.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You ate nothing but ramen for an entire week. That’s pretty weird. No wonder you don’t know how to cook.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“My cooking is amazing thank you very much.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You make good toast, you’ve mastered that at least.” Dina said with a small chuckle. “This is gonna be ready soon, you wanna get changed and boot up Netflix?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie nodded, moving to jog up the stairs and get into something more comfortable. She changed into the shorts Dina’s mom had just washed for her and a loose t shirt. Figuring Dina would want to change after they ate dinner, Ellie fished out another loose t shirt for her girlfriend. She didn’t bother searching for any bottoms for her to wear, positive that Dina would’ve bought the stolen sweatpants with her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The food was almost done when Ellie settled back on the couch. “You wanna watch Hell’s Kitchen?” Ellie called over the back of the sofa, spotting Dina walking over with two steaming bowls of the ramen she’d eaten hundreds of times in the past 4 years. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh fuck yeah!” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They sat in silence whilst they ate, save for laughs that escaped them when Gordon Ramsey tore into some cocky chefs with his odd but terrifying insults. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After the first episode, Dina refused to let Ellie help with the washing. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It wasn’t late, just a little past 8, but Ellie knew she wouldn’t be able to stay awake for much longer. Maybe 10pm at best. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Time must’ve slipped from her because Dina was back by her side in different clothes and smelling of mint within what seemed like 10 seconds. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina curled into her side and nuzzled her head under Ellie’s chin, cheek rubbing up against her collarbone. “It’s been a long day, huh?” She asked quietly, picking up Ellie’s hand and playing with her fingers. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Mmm.” Ellie hummed in reply, trying her hardest to not drop off. “Tired.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Proud of you.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“For what?” Ellie asked honestly, not entirely sure she had really accomplished that much. She saw Abby, had a crippling panic attack and ate ice cream and ramen. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“For going back to the game even when you didn’t want to.” Dina said, pressing a soft kiss to the side of her neck. “I know it doesn’t seem like much, but I am proud of you.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Thanks for helping me out. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you didn’t bring me back.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You would’ve sat on that tree root for so long that you would’ve lost all feeling in your ass permanently.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie chuckled tiredly, leaning her head on top of Dina’s and closing her eyes. “That would suck, wouldn’t it?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It would. You’re exhausted, let’s get to you bed, hm?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You sure? It’s still early, if you wanna stay up and watch something we can-“ </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“El. We’re going to bed. I’m gonna get the lights and the door, you go brush your teeth and get in bed.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Silently, too exhausted to even attempt to argue, Ellie trudged up the stairs. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After possibly the quickest shower any human being had ever taken, she brushed her teeth and redressed for bed. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina was already under the covers and waiting for her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">With a tired sigh, she settled into the sheets beside her girlfriend. Finally being in her bed, beside the woman she loved, she could actually relax and let the weight of the day slip off her shoulders. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina cuddled into her side like she always did, pressing her nose into her neck and nudging her leg over Ellie’s thighs. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Now fully relaxed, Ellie closed her eyes and inhaled Dina’s scent. How her girlfriend always smelt so good was a mystery to her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie could feel fingers ghosting over her stomach and hipbones, dipping under the waistband of her shorts, touches that sent little sparks through her skin. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What are you doing?” Ellie asked, opening her eyes and raising a brow. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Nothing... it’s just, well, you’ve had an exhausting day and we have a free house...” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie sighed, feeling a little guilty. “I’m sorry babe. I’m just frazzled. My... episode really took it out of me.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina’s fingers didn’t stop their exploring, however. “I know, I know. I know you’re tired. You don’t need to do anything.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“But...” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina chuckled and kissed her gently. “I know you like giving more than receiving. Just let me take care of you, okay?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie leaned up, kissing her back just as gently. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There was no urgency, no overwhelming lust to tear at each other’s clothes. Every time they had sex it was always very loving, even the times they had to rush or stay quiet.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After removing Ellie’s shorts and underwear, Dina spent some time kissing Ellie’s thighs and nibbling at the spots she knew made her jerk and tremble before moving to where Ellie needed her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina was slow with her mouth, taking her time, purposeful with each stroke of her tongue. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie was too exhausted to physically respond the way she usually would, but her breathy sighs and occasional leg jerks was enough for Dina to know she was enjoying it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The slow pace wasn’t particularly taxing for Dina, allowing her to continue pleasuring her girlfriend without needing to take any time for a break. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Some time later, Ellie’s hand found the back of her head, lightly squeezing the dark strands in a barely clenched fist. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fuck, I love you.” Ellie whispered lovingly, her head tipping back into the pillows when Dina’s tongue brushed up against her at the perfect angle. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You can be loud, you know. There’s no one here but us.” Dina mumbled before going back to work, gathering more wetness on her tongue and brushing upwards. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Too tired, </span>
  <span class="s2">fuck-“ </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Too tired? I can stop?” Dina asked teasingly, knowing full well that Ellie didn’t want to stop. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No, no. Please don’t.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And Dina had no intentions of stopping, either. By now she knew all the tricks in the book to make Ellie come, from what pace to set with fingers to how hard or soft she needed to be. Right now was simply about Ellie, letting her enjoy it and finishing in her own time, whenever her body allow her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It had been over twenty minutes now and Dina was happy to continue for as long as it took. She adored listening to the sighs and tiny moans that left her girlfriends lips, loved the feeling of her hips involuntarily jerking when she brushed over the right spot. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After another five minutes or so, the hand in her hair got a little tighter.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Dina-“ </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hearing Ellie gasp her name like that set her alight. If it was another day, Dina would quicken her pace or make her movements more purposeful in a way to push her over the edge, but she wanted to love Ellie in a certain way right now and edging her orgasm out slowly was the way she wanted to do it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">So she continued with the steady, deliberate pace, earning moans that slowly became more and more desperate. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Dina, </span>
  <span class="s2">fuck-“ </span>
  <span class="s1">her chest heaved, voice coming out nothing but a desperate whisper. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina hummed in reply, not wanting to break the pace she’d set, not wanting the tension in Ellie’s body to go slack. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Soon, Dina knew Ellie was on the verge of finishing. She looped an arm over Ellie’s shaking hips to keep her still and hold her down. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fuck, Dina. Dina-“ </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina squeezed her hip, indicating she’d heard her, that she knew she was close. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And finally, at an upstroke of Dina’s tongue, Ellie came with an agonisingly tight fistful of hair and a long, low moan of Dina’s name. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It took a while for her come down from the high that Dina had spent so long building up for her. For both of them, it seemed to last forever. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Eventually, when Ellie’s breathing slowed and her leg stopped shaking, Dina carefully crawled up her body and settled over her chest. She placed a chaste kiss to Ellie’s mouth, who barely responded. Dina couldn’t really tell if it was from the fatigue or if she was still coming down. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Everything okay?” Dina said teasingly, trailing her eyes over her girlfriends features. Her face was flushed and her eyes were closed, shaky breaths leaving her lips in short bursts. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Dina what the fuck. I was close for about 5 minutes, how are you so fucking good at that?” She gasped in disbelief. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina chucked, placing another gentle kiss to Ellie’s lips before resting her head over Ellie’s racing heart. “I just wanted to take my time, show you how much I love you.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’ve gotta let me do that to you sometime.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Of course. But you go to sleep now, okay?” Dina murmured, rolling off of her so she could pull her shorts back on. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Once Ellie had her shorts back on, Dina opened her arms up so Ellie could settle over her chest. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Love you.” Ellie murmured tiredly into Dina’s neck, giving her torso a gentle squeeze with the arm that was slung over her body. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina pressed a loving kiss into auburn hair, trailing her fingers up and down Ellie’s back under her t-shirt. “I love you too.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It didn’t take long until Ellie’s breathing deepened and she fell asleep there. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It took Dina a little while longer to find sleep, but eventually she dropped off, lulled to sleep by gentle snores and warmth engulfing her. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry it’s taken so long. Had some financial issues with covid and all that fun stuff, leaving me with little time to write. It might take a while, but this story will be completed. </p><p>Thank you all for reading and sticking with me! Hope you all are staying safe, wherever you are. </p><p>(Ps, next chapter is gonna be in Abby’s POV. How you feeling about that? Yay or nay?)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Confronting the past (kinda)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>TRIGGER WARNING. First of all, there is unintentional/accidental misgendering in this chapter. Also includes mentions of blood and violence and bullying (but you knew that already). </p><p>Actual chapter summary: </p><p>Abby struggles with her guilt after her sibling reveals something to her that changes the way she thinks.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was the beginning of second half when Abby saw them. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Of course, she’d instantly recognised the blonde girl who’d been subject to the harassment from that burly guy at the party. The slim girl was energetic, blue sports kit clinging to her with sweat from the warm up. The back of her shirt showed her number and name; Emily, number 16. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The first half of the game, Abby was in the right mindset. Play well, play tactically, play as a team - </span>
  <span class="s2">crush </span>
  <span class="s1">the opponents. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then half time came, and the Wolves were losing. Abby did her stretches, drank some water and splashed her face whilst Coach hyped them up. They hadn’t lost yet - the match was still winnable, still within their grasp. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But Abby just couldn’t help herself. If the blonde girl - Emily, number 16 - was here, then Ellie must be here, somewhere in the Jackson crowd. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She couldn’t help herself as her eyes scanned the crowds, searching for auburn hair. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then she spotted her. There was a leap in her chest, like she was surprised to see her there, as if she wasn’t searching for her in the first place. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Their eyes made contact for the first time in a year. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">All of the hype and adrenaline from the game left her body right then, sucked out of her like balloon deflating at rapid speed. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Her chest felt tight. There were invisible fingers around her throat. The taste of iron flooded her mouth. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Even with the distance between them, Abby could see Ellie tense up. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Abby wanted to look away; so did Ellie, she could just fucking tell. But neither of them did, green meeting blue in their tense stare. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The memories replayed in her brain over and over again. The black dots in her vision, the hands pressing down against her windpipe, the blood spilling over her face. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She thought she was over this. How was she still not over this? </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A hand clapped her shoulder, tearing her out of the painful memory. Coach barked his final orders and encouragements, ushering them to the pitch once more. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Abby didn’t even remember getting back onto the pitch or the whistle blowing to kickstart the second half. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Seeing the woman who had almost strangled her to death kicked her out of her focussed state. The coach subbed her off a mere six minutes after her intense stare down with Ellie. Admittedly, she couldn’t get her head back in the game and she played like utter shit. Missing crucial passes, messing up on dribbles, almost tripping over her own hockey stick. She couldn’t concentrate. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was hard to focus when there were ghostly fingers pressing on her windpipe. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Even now, observing from the sidelines where her eyes should be following her team, Abby only stared at the ground. If she looked up, her eyes would only find Ellie again. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She shrugged off Nora’s hand when it landed on her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her. Nora hadn’t seen Ellie in the stands and assumed Abby was annoyed at herself for getting subbed off so early into the second half. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Taking a deep breath, Abby forced herself to concentrate on the game in an attempt to stop the anxiety rushing through her. It worked a little, she still felt a rush of exhilaration when the Wolves took a point, but her mood had dropped significantly. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You good?” Nora asked finally.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah. I’m fine.” Abby brushed her off, turning her attention back to the game. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You sure? You seem really beat up, it’s no big deal, everyone has bad games-“ </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m fine. Let’s just drop it, yeah?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Alright.” Nora trailed off, observing her friend for a minute, “I’m here if you wanna talk.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah. Thanks.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">———————</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The game ended in a draw, which Abby was mildly pissed about; but ultimately she was grateful to be out of Jackson High and back at home in her safe space. It wasn’t all bad, if they won the next game they’d make it to the semi finals. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Since being subbed off, her mind hadn’t stopped whirring, thoughts of Ellie storming in her exhausted mind. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It had been a year, almost; she should be over this by now. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Why couldn’t she get over it? She thought she was fucking over it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Was it because she’d almost lost her life that day? Was it because she hated Ellie and blamed her for Owen leaving her and breaking off their friendship? She didn’t dream about it as much anymore; she should be over this. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She missed the familiar ache in her bones after a game. She hadn’t even played long enough to feel tired afterwards. Her body was strong and itching to do something, but her mind just wasn’t in it. She felt clouded, like a mist had settled in her head. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Not thinking straight, not thinking about what she’s doing, Abby opened up her phone and clicked onto Facebook. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She was aware that Ellie wasn’t a Facebook user; nor did she really use any other form of social media - but maybe her friends did. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The only person who shared a mutual friendship between the two teenagers was Beth, the host of the party all those months ago; so she started there. If she could find the blonde hockey girl - Emily - maybe she could find that dark haired woman Ellie seemed to always hang out with. The girl who sat beside her at the game; the girl who kissed her at the party. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Beth had a lot of Facebook friends, apparently; 1,218, to be exact; and fucking 13 of them were called Emily. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was easy to single out four of them from looking at the profile photos. Brunette didn’t match the description of the girl from the hockey game, so all she needed to do was check out 9 profiles. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After a few minutes, Abby found her; Emily Johnston. It didn’t take more than a minute of scrolling through tagged photos before she stumbled across the dark haired woman that had been with Ellie on the night of the party. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina was her name. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">With a brow raised in curiosity, Abby clicked on the profile. The profile picture showcased Dina with some fashionable, vintage sunglasses over her eyes and a wide smile. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She checked out the “about” section. Birthday August 5th, lives in Jackson, attends Jackson High School - in a relationship. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She looked through the photos section. There was a photo album named “Senior Year”, so that seemed like the only viable option to sift through. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The beginning of the album started with mostly Dina, Emily and two guys, who were tagged as Jesse and Ollie. Photos showcased them having picnics on a field, a few blurry shots from parties and the occasional shot in the gym. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">On November 29th, Ellie cropped up in the sea of photos. The picture showed the two holding alcoholic beverages, Ellie’s arm coiled around the shorter girls waist and they both shared a smile. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">On January the 26th, Dina posted a picture of Ellie clutching at a mountain of popcorn, only her green eyes visible that peered over the stack of popcorn tubs. It was captioned; </span>
  <span class="s2"><em>Two entire months of this dickweed being my girlfriend and she’s only now taking me on a first date</em>.</span>
  <span class="s1"> The photo had 63 likes, as well a comment from the Jesse guy that said “huh, gaaayyyyy”. Abby scoffed at that. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">On February the 4th, another photo was uploaded, a selfie of the two girls in some kind of park. Abby didn’t recognise it, but guessed it was maybe the same place where Dina and her friends went for picnics. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">On February 11th, the five friends took a group photo on a large, snowy hill. They were all bundled up in coats and waterproofs, hunched together like penguins. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">March 4th showcased not just Ellie and Dina, but a bearded man and a woman with chestnut hair, too. It was a typical family like photo, with forced smiles and eyes locked directly onto the camera. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Abby wondered who they were, assuming it was possibly Ellie’s parents. There was only one other person tagged in the photo; Esther Jones. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">With a cocked brow, Abby clicked on Esther’s name, leading her to the woman’s profile. Maybe she wasn’t Ellie’s mother, since the last names didn’t match up and they looked nothing alike. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She skimmed through a few photos, before settling on one from December 21st. It showed Esther and the bearded man smiling into the camera, and Abby had to admit it was a good selfie, with good lighting and a flattering camera angle; most people over the age of 40 couldn’t pull that off. The photo was captioned; </span>
  <span class="s2"><em>Officially moved in with Mr Miller! Time to celebrate!</em> </span>
  <span class="s1">Followed by a few alcohol emojis. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Miller? Jones? None of those matched Williams. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">With a sigh, Abby shut off her phone. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">What was she doing? How could she let go of the past when her brain urged her to dig deeper? Staring at photos of her enemy wouldn’t change anything - it wouldn’t make her forget. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">With a shake of her head, Abby stood and decided to organise her closet. Yeah, that would keep her busy. Maybe do some push ups too. Yeah. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Not even ten minutes passed before Abby booted up her phone again and started searching through Instagram.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina’s page was a goldmine for anyone who wanted to know more about her life. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There were more photos on the Instagram account than the Facebook page; many more, which was unsurprising since Instagram was more popular with the youth. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Pictures from vacations, friends, food, drinks; everything was there. Most of the recent posts consisted of a certain green eyed girl. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Just as Abby was about to begin scrolling through them, there was a timid knock at her bedroom door. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What’s up?” Abby grunted, her voice a little clogged. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The door opened slowly, creaking quietly. It was Lily; her adoptive sister of 6 years. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Abby-“ Lily sniffed, “can I-can I talk to you?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Concern filling her body, Abby quickly jumped off the bed and took Lily by the shoulders, gently guiding her to sit beside her on the bed. There were tears in her eyes. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Abby wrapped a muscled arm around the terrified girl, feeling her shaking as she fought back sobs. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What’s wrong?” Abby hushed, pulling the thirteen year old into her side, “has something happened?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Lily merely shook her head weakly. “Yes, I-no, I don’t know.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You know you can tell me anything. Are people making fun of you at school? Is someone messing with you?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Lily shook her head in reply. Her lack of words sent an awful pang through Abby’s chest. Nothing upset her more than seeing her sibling in all but blood upset. Something must be very, very wrong. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You can tell me. If someone is messing with you-“ </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No one is messing with me.” She cried, shaking her head as more glistening tears dripped from her eyes. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Lily, you’re my little sister, I can help-“ </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No! I’m not your sister!” Lily retorted angrily, shying away from Abby’s comforting arm, turning her face away. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Abby watched in a confused panic as Lily started to sob; those words had hurt. Of course they were sisters; it didn’t matter that Lily was adopted and it never had. It took them a few months to get close to one another, but that didn’t matter; they’d always been sisters and always would be. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Lily...” Abby started softly, placing a hand on a trembling shoulder and gently guiding the smaller girl to face her, “just because you’re adopted, it doesn’t mean you aren’t family - you know that. I love you, you’re my little sister.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No...” Lily shook her head as more salty tears leaked from her eyes, “Abby... I-I’m not. Not your sister.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Lily, stop.” Abby attempted to brush away the tear stains but Lily just shied away, “please, tell me what’s going on. You’re scaring me.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Please don’t call me that.” Lily choked through her sobs. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Call you what?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Lily.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s your name. You’re Lily Anderson, my little sister.” Abby said proudly, though she knew it came out forced; she was holding back her own tears at seeing Lily so distraught and upset. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Lily just cried harder, small hands coming to their face as the tears became uncontrollable. She choked into her hands, her cries muffled and heartbreaking. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Abby was so scared, so confused; the only thing she wanted to do was wrap her arms around the smaller girl and comfort her. But how could she? She didn’t even know what was wrong.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Whatever it is, you can tell me.” The older girl said in a soothing tone as she shuffled her body closer to Lily’s, “I promise, I’ll help you as best as I can. I love you, you know I do.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Lily’s voice came out as a muffled choke into her trembling hands, “but what if you don’t?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey,” Abby says firmly, maybe a little more domineering than she meant, “I promise you. Pinkie swear, alright?” She held out her pinkie and gave the crying girl an encouraging look. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Lily’s teary eyes meet hers. Hesitantly, shaking from sobbing and the fear that assaulted her insides, Lily hooked a pinkie in Abby’s. “Okay.” She breathed out. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Take your time, alright?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Lily nodded shakily before pulling her legs up and turning to face Abby in a cross legged position. Abby mimicked it. “For a long time... I’ve felt different - most of my life, really. I can’t keep it in anymore. I-I don’t wanna be Lily anymore. I’m not Lily.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What do you mean?” Abby asked out of intense concern and worry as she placed a gentle hand on a trembling knee. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I feel like this body isn’t mine.” Lily gestured down to their body, a small grimace on their face, “it isn’t right.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Abby stayed silent; she was confused and scared and worried, but she didn’t understand. She let the younger sibling continue with a small smile. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m transgender.” The voice was so tiny it came out as a squeak, “Being a girl doesn’t feel right, it never has. It’s not who I am.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The blonde’s mouth fell open in shock, her brow creased and furrowed as she took in the words. Her silence caused the younger person to look away as more tears leaked from dark eyes. Face contorted in pain, rejection, sorrow, Lily began to move away from the bed, “I’m sorry, I’m-“ </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey.” Abby caught Lily’s slim wrist, refusing to let them walk away, “hey, sit back down.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Lily was frozen in place, unable to meet the seemingly disappointed and disgusted eyes of their older sibling. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Abby squeezed reassuringly, “what should I call you?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Huh?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I mean, well,” Abby sighed, trying to find the right words, the ones that would comfort and not hurt, “do you have a new name?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Lily turned, eyes teary and hopeful, “Lev.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Abby offered a tiny smile, one that held acceptance, and most importantly, love. “Okay. Lev. I like it.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Lev’s eyes became even more watery, but they weren’t tears of sorrow or pain. They were tears of happiness, of elated shock, of acceptance. “You-you’re not mad?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The blonde shook her head before finally standing and engulfing him in a hug. Abby rubbed a hand down Lev’s back soothingly, but it only caused another river of tears to soak into her shirt. “Why would I be mad, huh?” She whispered into his hair, squeezing him reassuringly, attempting to seep her acceptance and love into him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Lev simply shrugged through the tears, holding on tighter, soaking up the warmth of his older sister. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Have you told Dad yet?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Do you want me to be there when you do?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’d like that.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">—————</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Telling Jerry hadn’t been easy. Abby sat there with a comforting hand on Lev’s shoulder the whole time, offering encouragement and support as Lev choked his way through his words. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Their father hadn’t been mad. He cried, pained that he hadn’t noticed how Lev was feeling on the inside, afraid he’d been a bad parent for missing any signs that his child was struggling. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">In the end, the tears were replaced with hugs and words of acceptance and everything turned out okay. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Abby accepted him, Jerry accepted him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After exhausting himself from crying, Lev retired to his room. Abby soon followed after, her own eyes aching from the tears she’d shed at seeing her younger sibling so torn. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Feeling somewhere between euphoric and culpable, if that was even possible, Abby opened up Dina’s Instagram once more. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">In those photos... Ellie looked happy. Even in the photos where she wasn’t smiling, like the ones Dina took of her when the other girl wasn’t paying attention, she looked so different than she did when Abby knew her. Old Ellie always looked angry, hurt, rejection always shadowed across her pained face, like bruises that never faded. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Old Ellie didn’t have a spark in her eyes. Old Ellie would huddle somewhere in a corner, away from harsh words and disgusted glances and hushed whispers. The Ellie Abby knew would always be face down into a comic book or gazing out of a window, unwilling to give anybody the time of day. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie looked happier now. The smile reached her eyes and lit her face in a way Abby had never seen. The worry lines disappeared from her face, the shadows under her eyes had cleared - she looked </span>
  <span class="s2">happy. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It only made Abby feel crippling guilt. Lily - no, </span>
  <span class="s2"><em>Lev</em>, </span>
  <span class="s1">she’d have to practise that </span>
  <span class="s2">- </span>
  <span class="s1">was terrified of her reaction, scared of being a disappointment, scared of losing Abby - all because he was different. The hurt and terror on his face was something she would never forget. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Is that how Ellie felt all along? Hurt, singled out, different? Hated and alone? </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It made sense, now; the realisation of it all crashed into her like a truck, leaving her breathless. Ellie lashed out because Abby hurt her. Abby pushed her and pushed her until the other girl couldn’t take it anymore. Ellie lost control because she was sick of being torn into, sick of being the butt of their jokes, sick of being singled out for being different. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">What if it had been Lev? What if it was his classmates that hurt him relentlessly for something he couldn’t control? </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He’d been so choked up, so scared, so hurt. Abby never wanted to see him like that again. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She glanced one last time down at her phone. The photo showcased Dina being carried on Ellie’s back, both of them captured mid laugh. The smaller girl had her arms wrapped around Ellie’s shoulders, and in turn Ellie’s arms were around Dina’s thighs to keep her upright on her back. They looked so happy. There was a small caption below, simply reading, </span>
  <span class="s2"><em>I love you</em>. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The guilt ate away at her for hours, well into the night, reminding her of every little thing she’d ever done to make Ellie’s life hell. The time her and her friends painted slurs on Ellie’s locker and laughed from a distance when they saw the hurt on her face. The time Abby accused Ellie of staring at her in the locker room, causing all of the other students to back away from her for fear of being spied upon whilst they changed. Ellie always changed facing the corner after that. The time Abby cornered her in the library and threw such terrible, hurtful insults at her. Ellie hadn’t come to school the day after that. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She’d been so fucking awful to Ellie for a very long time. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She wouldn’t mess up this time. She’d be there for Lev. She’d be there for her little brother whenever he needed her, however he needed her. Abby promised herself that. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She tried and tried to think positively about the situation. If it made Lev happy, then it made her happy; end of story. She may not understand it all, but she would try her damn hardest to, for Lev - her brother. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She refused to let Lev become another Ellie. And if the kids at school had a problem with Lev, Abby would be sure to take care of it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">——————-</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">That night she dreamt of hands around her throat. The dream was familiar, one that came to her often enough that she didn’t wake up screaming anymore. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But this time, the left hand was already missing two fingers, and those fiery green eyes had been replaced with Lev’s hurt and watery brown ones instead. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Similarly to last night, Abby felt guilt. Crippling, soul crushing guilt. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Seeing those hurt, brown orbs in place of the angry forest ones cut her deep - because now she knew; she knew it was hurt that fuelled Ellie’s outburst. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yeah, Ellie had been angry that day. So furious and ferocious, animalistic in the way she’s launched herself at Abby with no care for her own personal safety. That’s all Abby could remember, the anger; but she knew now, it was pain. It was hurt. It was misery. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She knew it was years of teasing and taunting and bullying that caused it. Never once had Abby or her friends stopped to consider anybody’s feelings but their own. Owen and Mel saw some form of sense after the fight, but it didn’t matter; they’d still hurt Ellie, too. They all had. Abby had just been the worst of them. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Lev had been right to be scared of her reaction, even though he never knew about Ellie and the things Abby would do or say to her. Abby had torn Ellie down time and time again for her sexuality, called her names and humiliated her on so many occasions she couldn’t even recall them all. She’d hurt the other girl so badly, so deeply. If Lev had been a little older, if he’d told Abby his big secret a year earlier, would Abby have treated him like she had with Ellie? </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She wouldn’t dream of hurting Lev. It wasn’t possible; her stomach churned at the mere thought of it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It hadn’t been right to treat Ellie like that. She realised that now. Too late; years too late. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But what could she do about it now? Ellie had moved on, Abby was trying to move on. They attended separate schools, lead completely different lives. There was nothing she could do about it now. It was near impossible to contact Ellie, she didn’t have any social media, Abby didn’t know where she lived. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie was happy now. She had suffered the wrath of Abby and her friends for years and been permanently injured in the process, and now she was happy. She had a girlfriend and friends who accepted her, probably a loving family too, who didn’t care what or who she was. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But Abby? Abby had lost Owen, the man she loved with all of her heart. As much as she tried to ignore the empty cavern in her chest, it would never go away; it only got worse when she saw him, wrapped up with Mel, smiling at her and spending time with her. Would they get married and have kids one day? </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Maybe Abby deserved this. Maybe loosing two of her friends, one of them being the man she loved, was her punishment for being a bad person. A bad person who kicked someone when they were down, a bad person who mocked and bullied someone because of their sexuality. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Was Ellie over it? Sure, she looked happy now, especially with her girlfriend, but if Abby had learnt one thing during these past few hours, it was that things weren’t always what they seemed. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A pang of guilt washed through Abby when she remembered the red stumps in place of fingers on Ellie’s hand. Ellie hadn’t forgotten what Abby put her through, how could she? Ellie had been left permanently scarred from their fight, she had to look at those useless stubs everyday for the rest of her life. Does Ellie get nightmares too? Does she look down at her hand and remember all of the times Abby called her worse than shit? </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">If Abby hadn’t been so goddamn stubborn, maybe she would’ve realised sooner that she was the one in the wrong the entire time. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Because really, what had Ellie ever done to deserve such torment? The crushing remorse Abby feels gives her the answer. Ellie didn’t deserve any of it, she never had. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shaking her head in an attempt to banish the guilt away, Abby retrieved her phone from the cabinet at the side of her bed and changed Lev’s contact name from Lily to Lev. Thinking carefully, considering each word, she typed a message to the younger sibling. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Abby: Hey Lev, you up? </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A reply came through instantly, which was unsurprising; Lev had always been a morning person. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Lev: Yeah, I’m up. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">With a small smile, Abby sent a reply instantly. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Abby: What do you say we take a trip into town today? Get you some new clothes, maybe a hair cut? If you want? </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Lev: You’ll help me pick a style? </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Abby: Of course. I think you’d suit a really cool topknot. You know, short at the sides, long on top? </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Lev didn’t reply, but the door flung open a few minutes later, revealing a grinning Lev, already dressed for the day, eyes bright and vacant of last nights tears.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So, a topknot huh?” Lev asked with a beaming smile. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Come here, let’s look at some pictures so you can pick one to show to the barber.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Lev joined Abby on the bed and eagerly sifted through the photos. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Abby?” Lev said after a few minutes of looking through Abby’s laptop. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re the best.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She didn’t feel it. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello my friends! </p><p>I felt kinda uncomfortable writing the part where Lev comes out to Abby. It felt wrong to use his dead name and the incorrect pronouns, but this was Abby’s POV, so I had to think about how Abby would be seeing the situation. I hope I did a good job with it. </p><p>I’ve been writing some other bits and pieces alongside this story (since we’re nearly done with this one), and I’m considering posting the first chapter of one of them soon. I’m not sure whether to post it since I’m not far into writing it, but idk, maybe posting it would spark an interest and it would motivate me to write more? Who knows. Let me know what you think and if you want it, I guess? </p><p>Anyways, thank you guys for reading and for all the support and comments and kudos I get on each chapter. We’re getting close to the end, guys. A few more chapters and we’re done. See you in the next update, whenever that will be. Stay safe x</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. take you to the candy shop</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dina drags Ellie out of the house for some quality girlfriend time. Abby takes Lev shopping and reflects some more.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Ellie awoke, she was aware of two things. The first was that her body ached all over with a splitting headache pounding at her temples. The second thing she was aware of was Dina’s face mere inches away from her own, warm eyes staring right at her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">With a sleepy groan, Ellie tossed an arm over her eyes to shield them from the light and turned her face away from her girlfriend’s. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Morning,” Dina chirped, following Ellie’s movements and nudging her way in under Ellie’s arm so she could lay her head on her chest. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Why were you in my face the second I woke up?” Ellie muttered tiredly, head still angled to the side away from her girlfriend. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Looked cute.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Whatever,” Ellie mumbled with an attempt to rub the sleep from her eyes, “what time is it?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“A little after 9. You slept like a baby all night. That’ll happen when you let your girlfriend give you the best orgasm of your entire life.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie hummed in reply, the sound rumbling from somewhere deep in her throat. She felt well rested, having had around 11 hours of solid sleep and a bright orgasm to knock her into unconsciousness, but it was always hard to shake the feeling of fatigue from her bones after a panic attack. She always felt sluggish afterwards, sometimes even for whole days, as if her body would slowly release the tension in tiny bouts that stretched on for hours and hours. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What do you wanna do today?” Dina asked, fiddling with a lose thread at the bottom of Ellie’s t-shirt. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The arm around Dina’s body tightened and pulled her closer. “I wanna chill in bed with you all day.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie could feel Dina’s smile against her neck and it made her heart flutter. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“As much as I would love that, don’t you think we should go out? Go see a movie or go to the mall or something? Or even just a walk in the park?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No,” Ellie squeezed her tighter, pushing Dina’s body closer to her side, “we can watch movies here. In bed. With no clothes on.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina’s chuckle vibrated against her collarbone and Ellie thought she’d won the argument until Dina pulled away and propped herself up onto one elbow, “yeah, not happening. Joel and Esther are hungover, they’re staying here all day.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie groaned and pushed her head back into her pillow to display her frustration. “Okay... so we cuddle and watch movies here with our clothes on?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina smiled and nuzzled her nose against Ellie’s. “Sounds perfect-“ Ellie’s face lit up with a smile, “-for another day.” The smile faltered, replaced with a pout. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Dina...” Ellie whined in protest, putting on her best puppy dogs eyes and sad face. Getting out of bed and facing the world just wasn’t appealing to her today, especially not when Dina was right there next to her, already warm and beautiful and gorgeous... </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Come on. Let’s go to town. Make it a date. We haven’t had one of those in a while.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie considered it for a moment before pulling Dina down back on top of her, holding her firm with arms locked around Dina’s back. “But we’re so comfy.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes, you’re very comfortable.” She laughed lightly in agreement, “look, I know you’re tired after yesterday but trust me, staying in bed all day won’t make you feel better.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes it will.” Ellie argued, once again squeezing her girlfriend to reaffirm her point. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No, stupid, it won’t.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What do call a chicken who-“ </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ellie, stop. Stop trying to distract me from dragging you out of bed. It’s not going to work.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What do you get when you cross a dog and a-“ </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ellie, please. I’m doing this for your own good.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“But </span>
  <span class="s2"><em>babe</em>-“ </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No buts. Now get up, shower and get dressed.” Dina commanded firmly, pushing herself out of Ellie’s arms and giving her a quick kiss before rising from the bed to stretch. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie watched in awe like she always did when Dina changed in front of her. Her eyes trailed the curves of her waist and the shifting of her back whenever she moved her upper body. Her hair was down, dancing over back and shoulders whenever she moved. How was it possible to be that beautiful? </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ellie?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie only hummed a response, too busy appreciating Dina’s body to form a real reply. She was captivated. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We can cuddle when we get back, yeah?” Dina offered lightly, holding one of Ellie’s t-shirts in her hands. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“And watch a movie?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“If you want. You can pick, I’m feeling nice today.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So nice that you’re forcing me out of my happy place?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So nice that I’m paying for the coffee we’re going to get </span>
  <span class="s2">and </span>
  <span class="s1">the weed.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh.” Ellie raised her brows and dropped her voice, moving to eagerly sit up and grin like a fool, “you didn’t mention weed. We could’ve saved half of the argument if you’d mentioned that sooner.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I just like hearing about how much you want to cuddle me. Very clingy today, aren’t you?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie pouted, her brow furrowed, “can you blame me?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">With a smirk and a flirtatious wink, as well as a flip of her hair, Dina pulled the t-shirt over her head and headed downstairs. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">With a sigh, Ellie gathered what she needed for bathroom. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After freshening up and tying up her damp hair, she dragged herself downstairs. Unfortunately an extra hot shower and accidentally swallowing a mouthful of toothpaste hadn’t done much to shake the feeling of grogginess. Even a year later, she was yet to discover a way to re-energise herself after an anxiety attack. She doubted the weed Dina promised would help, in fact it would just make her more tired, but she couldn’t turn down free weed. The thought of doing so felt criminal. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Morning kiddo.” Joel mumbled from the couch, nursing a cup of coffee. He was wearing his plaid pyjama bottoms that Ellie only ever saw him wear when it Christmas time or he was was suffering with the after affects of alcohol. Esther was curled up beside him, her feet tucked underneath his legs, nursing her own hot beverage. Esther’s usually perfect hair was tussled, implying that she hadn’t even gathered the strength to brush it this morning. Ellie felt her pain, feeling just as drained as Esther looked. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Good night?” Ellie asked, passing by the two adults and greeting Dina in the kitchen area.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Joel just grunted whilst Esther shot her a smile over the back of the couch that looked as if she was in pain. “We stayed for a few drinks after the show. A few turned into many and we didn’t get home until 1am.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You guys want breakfast?” Dina asked, placing two full glasses of water on the coffee table for the suffering couple. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I don’t know if those two can handle it, look at them,” Ellie snickered, moving to ruffle Joel’s unkempt hair, “the poor old man is so fragile right now.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I ain’t fragile.” Joel grumbled, smacking Ellie’s hand away and rubbing his creased forehead as the headache pounded against his temples. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Esther sighed, not mentally prepared to deal with Joel and Ellie’s shit today, no matter how much she loved them both. She turned her head to look over the back of the couch, “breakfast would be lovely, thank you, Dina.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie stopped bugging Joel and moved to stand beside her girlfriend as she fished pans out the cupboard. “What are we making?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No!” Joel yelled from the couch, “Ellie there is no way I’m lettin’ you cook for us when we’re hungover. I’m already feelin’ sick as it is.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina stifled a giggle. “You can do the toast, okay?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Am I really that much of a bad cook?” Ellie asked. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes. You’re only successful at toast and instant ramen. And sometimes you even fuck that up.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh fuck you, I can make scrambled eggs too!” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Debatable.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie busied herself with the cleaning whilst Dina cooked up a hearty breakfast for them all with the supplies available in the fridge. She fulfilled her promise of making the perfect toast to go alongside the breakfast. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The four ate in relative silence, the older couple still too fragile and tired to commit much to a conversation apart from the odd compliment on Dina’s cooking skills. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The pair looked considerably brighter and more energised by the time they cleared their plates. Apparently nothing was a better hangover cure than a good breakfast and a glass of water. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Esther dismissed the offer to take her plate to the sink, instead ordering the two younger girls to relax whilst she and Joel took care of the washing up. Ellie couldn’t argue with that, they had just made them breakfast after all. Sure, she only made the toast, but still - making the perfect toast was an art. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">With a kiss to her cheek, Dina excused herself to change out of her lounge clothes. Ellie watched her go, eyes lingering for far too long on her butt. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Why did Dina have to drag her out today? They could be going back upstairs to cuddle if Dina hadn’t insisted on going out. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Did your friend win the hockey game?” Esther asked, turning on the hot tap to fill the bowl. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It was a draw. The rematch is next week.” Ellie said somewhat dismissively, not wanting a reminder of yesterday’s panic attack. She scratched the back of her neck, thinking of whether she would attend the rematch or not. She didn’t want to let Emily down, especially knowing how hard the other girl had worked this season, but at the same time, Ellie really didn’t want to see Abby again. “Uhm, me and Dina are going out today. We’ll be back before dinner.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well make sure you are, we’re having takeout tonight.” Joel huffed, filling up his third glass of water. “Dina coming back with you?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie shrugged despite knowing that Dina would probably be spending the night. They usually alternated each weekend so they could spend equal time with their families. “Probably.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Alright kiddo, don’t be back too late.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sure. You ready to go?” Ellie directed at Dina, who was now slipping on her shoes and shrugging on a light jacket. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I am. Let’s get going.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Their first stop after arriving in the city was the cute little coffee shop they’d visited on their date. Dina ordered her extremely complex coffee whilst Ellie settled for a frozen chocolate shake. Consuming caffeine in her current sluggish state would do her no favours; she’d learnt that the hard way. Whilst it felt good in the moment, the crash that hit later always left her feeling worse than before. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie was grateful that Dina kept talking through the day. Despite not being so much of a talker herself, Ellie had always loved that Dina was never stumped for words. She always knew what to say. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After coffee, Dina lead Ellie out by her hand and didn’t let go. They visited a few stores, bought some of Ellie’s favourite candy and visited the music store. They didn’t purchase anything from the little music shop, but Ellie enjoyed looking at all of the instruments and making jokes about starting a band. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">At some point during their adventure, Dina stopped walking and tugged Ellie’s hand. The shorter of the two nodded her head towards a tattoo parlour. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You remember that time I told you you’d look hot with a nose ring?” Dina started, eying up the parlour again. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Um, yeah?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“And you told me you really wanted one?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah...” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well, what do you say we go get you one?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie glanced at the shop, then back to her girlfriend. Dina was smiling madly, her grip still firm in Ellie’s hand. She considered it for a moment, contemplating whether it was a good idea to get a body modification whilst her system was still flushing out yesterday’s panic attack. It took mere seconds before she cracked a smile and squeezed Dina’s hand. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fuck it. Let’s do it.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">—————</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie walked through the curtains holding a slightly bloody tissue to her nose. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So, how does it look?” Dina asked excitedly. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie pulled away the tissue and angled her face so Dina could see the ring better. “What do you think?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Peak lesbian fashion. I love it.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Can’t wait for Joel’s opinion.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Screw Joel. You’re my girlfriend and you look hot.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Heh. Glad you think so. Joel will think you’re a bad influence. Dragging me to parties, convincing me to get spontaneous piercings. You’re corrupting me.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah, I’m such a troublemaker. Come on, let’s go pick up our weed and get out of here.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They picked up the weed Dina promised a few streets away. Unfortunately the marijuana couldn’t be smoked in the city, but their favourite park wasn’t too far away. Dina held her hand the entire way there. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Time seemed to fly by. The dull ache in her nose from the new piercing was easy to ignore with the high of the weed and the sounds of Dina enthusiastically telling a funny story from her childhood. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“-and she was so fuckin’ scared she would get in trouble for pushing me off the slide, so I had to lie and say some random kid did it.” Dina’s tone started off as happy as she reminisced, but it suddenly turned sad, making Ellie’s heart twist, “I still haven’t told mom, even though Talia’s gone. She may have broken my arm but I was never mad at her about it. I always laugh when I think about it, even though it hurt like a bitch.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie’s mouth twisted. Dina didn’t talk about her sister very much. She’d seen photos and heard the odd story here and there, but it was always in passing conversation. “How long has she been gone?” Ellie asked quietly, playing with Dina’s fingers in her lap. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Maybe it was the buzz of the weed that was bringing the past up. Maybe Dina finally felt comfortable enough to talk about it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Nearly 4 years. I miss her.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Not wanting to push Dina into things she may not want to talk about, Ellie circled her arm around Dina’s middle and pulled her close into her side. “You want the last cookie?” Ellie offered sweetly, presenting the packet to her girlfriend. Dina had already eaten double what Ellie had, but Ellie was happy to give away the last cookie if it helped lift her girlfriend’s spirits. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina huffed a small laugh and nuzzled her head against Ellie’s cheek, “yeah, I do.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie dropped the bag containing the final cookie into Dina’s lap and kept her arm around her as Dina started to stuff it in her mouth. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Jeez, and you say </span>
  <span class="s2">
    <em>I</em>
  </span>
  <span class="s1"> eat like a pig.” Ellie chuckled, moving to flick a crumb off Dina’s thigh. “Real attractive, babe.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Shut up. I have the munchies and I need to get rid of my weed breath.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We should totally bake some pot brownies.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina hummed in agreement and shoved the final half of the cookie into her mouth, “we should bake them after we graduate.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sounds like a plan. Do you have any perfume to cover up the stench of weed before we go home?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina rustled through her bag for a minute before pulling out a small glass bottle containing a purple liquid. Without wanting Dina sprayed the perfume all over the other girl, some of it entering her breathing space and making Ellie choke for air. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina mumbled an unapologetic “sorry” before spraying herself over. Ellie’s coughing fit continued for another minute or so, leaving Dina to watch and giggle at Ellie’s spluttering. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“A little warning would’ve been nice,” the taller of the two wheezed, falling into another fit of coughs. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You smell like an actual girl. I don’t like it.” Dina remarked, reaffirming her point by sniffing Ellie and grimacing, “I miss you smelling like you.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re so weird.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m aware,” Dina said as she dusted off any lingering cookie crumbs from her lap. “Now come on, let’s go home.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Already?” Ellie pouted, feeling as if they’d only been out of the house for an hour. A glance at her phone told her otherwise; they’d been out for four hours. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes, stupid. We’re gonna gorge on take out and then watch a movie, remember?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie smiled happily and stood up, pressing a gentle kiss to Dina’s lips. “Thank you for taking me out. You were right, I do feel better.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I know. You should listen to your girlfriend, she’s always right.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina was usually right about most things, but Ellie would never admit that. Dina’s head would be too big to fit through a door if she did. Instead, Ellie pulled her in for another kiss, the smile never leaving her face. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">————————-</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Alright. What’s next on your list?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Umm—“ Lev fumbled for the scrunched up paper in his pocket and held it out in front of him, “—hair stuff? Like, gel and that kinda stuff.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay,” Abby nodded, stopping for a moment to adjust the bags hanging off her shoulders. It wasn’t that they were overly heavy, but there were so many things they’d purchased and so many bags that they kept slipping off of her shoulders. With a frustrated grunt, Abby started to walk again, struggling to keep the handles still. “What do you say we take a break, huh? Get a coffee or something?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sure. I really wanna try that thing. Frapp-frappé-uhhh?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“A frappuccino?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">With a small laugh, Lev nodded enthusiastically, “yeah, that’s it!” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They rounded the corner, intentions set on relaxing in the little coffee shop their father used to take them to and taking a well earned break. That was, until Abby spotted two very familiar girls walking into the coffee shop. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Of course</em>. The Lord really is making her pay for her past actions. She didn’t feel as sick as yesterday but the feeling of dread washed through her like a tidal wave. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Abby watched as Ellie held the door open for Dina, smiling brightly at something the shorter woman had said. There was a faint tint of red to her cheeks - she was blushing, Abby realised. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Uhm—“ Abby cleared her throat, swallowing hard and forcing herself to look away from the little café, “—how about Starbucks instead? If you want a real frappuccino that’s probably the best place to get one.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Lev, bless his heart, too cheery to even notice her change in attitude, hauled his backpack up his shoulder and excitedly pressed forward. “Awesome! Let’s go!” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Abby kept her shoulders square and her gaze forward as they passed the coffee shop. Her mindset was committed to </span>
  <span class="s2">not looking</span>
  <span class="s1">; if she didn’t look in Ellie’s direction, then Ellie probably wouldn’t even notice her. She clung to that ideology, but it didn’t help that Lev was constantly checking out his new hair cut in the reflection of every window they passed. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The tension in her shoulders relaxed a little after they passed the coffee shop. Feeling certain that Ellie hadn’t spotted her, she realised a sigh of relief and looked down at her brother. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Abby couldn’t remember the last time she saw Lev so happy. He was practically bouncing, smiling at the smallest of things and expressing so much enthusiasm for things as little as trying out a new beverage. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The walk to Starbucks wasn’t long. Abby had just sat and sipped her cappuccino whilst Lev double checked his list of supplies and expressed his eagerness to throw out his old clothes and replace them with all the new ones they’d bought. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After their break and the discovery of Lev’s love for iced coffee, they purchased some new hair supplies for Lev and decided to pick up some candy for later. As much as Abby didn’t like to break her diet, she supposed she could have a cheat day. Today was all about Lev after all, and if Lev wanted to share a bag of candy with her she wouldn’t deny him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But of course, things just weren’t that easy. Who was standing outside of the candy store? Fucking Ellie and her girlfriend. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They were facing each other, just outside the entrance to the little candy shop. Dina held a brown paper bag with the stores logo stamped onto it and was fishing through the contents. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Abby was too far away to hear much of what they were saying, but she knew it was lighthearted, judging from the shaking of their shoulders and the smiles beaming on their faces. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie must’ve said something funny because Dina threw her head back and laughed deeply, earning a little laugh from Ellie herself. Dina said something and leaned up to press a quick kiss to Ellie’s cheek before grabbing her hand and pulling her in the opposite direction. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Abby let go of the breath she hadn’t realised she was holding in. She’d been too busy worrying over how she would’ve reacted had the pair walked her way. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Abby, you okay?” Lev asked, nudging her arm with his shoulder. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah, yeah, I’m all good. What’s up?” She replied with a shrug of her aching shoulders. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Nothing. You just... kinda stopped walking and stared at those girls.” Lev said timidly, his gaze finding the floor as he played with his fingers nervously, “Is it because they’re—“ </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No,” Abby said quickly, cutting him off before he had the chance to say it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Then why—“ </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I used to go to school with her. The one with the red hair. I-I thought she’d moved away, I was shocked to see her here. That’s all.” It wasn’t a lie, not a full one away, but she still felt guilty for it. It must’ve convinced Lev, though. He looked more relaxed and less worried now. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh. Okay. I liked her jacket.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah? The Santa Cruz one?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Abby swallowed hard and patted her brother’s shoulder as they made their way to the candy store. “Let’s see what you get for your birthday then, yeah?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Lev smiled at her, his cheeks dimpled, “what do you want for your birthday? It’s coming up soon.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Abby shrugged. Seeing Ellie again had unsettled her, guilt bubbling in her stomach like acid. She was trying to be better but what she did to Ellie would never change. She would always be reminded of what she’d done. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Looking down at Lev’s gleeful face gave her the strength to push the guilt down for the time being. She couldn’t lose herself in front of him, not now - she’d promised to make today about him. “I’m not sure. I haven’t really thought about it.” She said finally. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Abby busied herself by selecting some of her father’s favourite candy bars and placing them in the basket. She grabbed a couple for herself, not enough to effect her diet too much, however. She didn’t want to mess up too badly before next week’s rematch against the Jackson Titans. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They payed for their sweet treats and did one final check over Lev’s list. There were only a few things left to buy. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Some time later, they checked off the final item on Lev’s list. The pair were about to leave the city and make their way home when a thought occurred to Abby, making her stop in her tracks.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What’s up?” Lev questioned, turning back to face her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You need some hair ties,” Abby said, pointing up the Lev’s topknot. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Can’t I just use yours?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No way! Besides, my hair ties match my hair. They’re too light for your hair. You need some black ones.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Good point.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They popped into TJ’s, taking a little longer than originally planned, just spending some time browsing and goofing around. Lev purchased a bundle of black hair ties and concluded it was finally time to leave and go back home. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Luckily, Abby made it back home without her arms dropping off and without spotting Ellie and Dina again. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When they arrived back home, Abby helped Lev unpack all of the things they’d bought and helped him put some outfits together. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She had to admit, his new hair style coupled with his new clothes made him look really cool. It suited him. He looked so happy, so comfortable in his own skin. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Lev walked back into Abby’s room wearinga different jacket and a new pair of sweats. “What do you think?” He asked, turning around so Abby could judge the entire outfit from different angles. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Looking good,” she beamed, “the jacket looks awesome on you.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You think?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Positive. You’ll be the coolest kid in your grade.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Lev’s smile dimmed a little. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Concerned, Abby put a hand on his shoulder. “What’s up?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Lev pursed his lips and looked down at his feet. “I finish Elementary in a few months. I’ll be starting high school as you finish high school and go to college. I wish you could be there with me, even for only a year.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I know, it sucks. I wish I could be there too. But you’ll be moving up with all of your friends, so you won’t be alone. High school isn’t that bad. You’ll meet loads of new people, too.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Lev shuffled his feet, not convinced. “I’m scared I’ll get picked on... because I’m different.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Abby’s heart sank. What would Lev think of her if he knew everything? What would he say if he knew that Abby had been the very thing he was scared of? </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well, if that does happen... you know I have your back. Your friends, too. As long as you have us, you can do anything.” Abby said gently, bending a little so she was eye level with him. She tried to ignore the churning in her stomach as the memories of what she had done to Ellie cropped up. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Lev didn’t say anything, Abby continued, her hand still a reassuring weight on his shoulder. “You just remember that you can talk to me whenever you want, okay? Even if I’m away at college or when I get a job, I’m always here for you, you know? You have my back, and I have yours. I will always make time for you, no matter what.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Lev nodded, unable to form words. He wrapped his slender arms around Abby’s shoulders and squeezed her tight. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Abby held him just as tight. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The love she felt for her brother was paramount; she would do anything for him. Whatever he needed, she would do her best to provide for him. Always. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Not only was he a caring, sweet sibling; he’d unintentionally helped her see the error in her ways. Without knowing it, Lev had pushed her to become a better person. Without him, Abby would have never realised that she was the cause of the problems in her own life, not others. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She strived to be a better human being because of him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And she’d start with apologising to Owen. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She’d be crushed if Owen couldn’t forgive her, she knew that. But the only way to alleviate the guilt and start her journey to becoming a better person was to apologise and attempt to right her wrongs. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It would be hard. It would be painful. She’d maybe even end up with less friends than what she started with, but Abby knew this was the right thing to do. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Later on into the night, when the rest of Anderson household had retired to bed, Abby sat awake. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Her finger hovered over the send button for what felt like hours before she gathered up the courage to press it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Abby: Can I meet you and Mel for a coffee? I have a lot of things I want to get off my chest. It’s too much to say in text, and I want you both there. You can say no if you want, but I have to do this. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After an agonising wait of five minutes, Owen’s reply came though. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Owen: Okay. Annie’s at 1pm? </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Abby: Thank you. See you both tomorrow. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">At least he was willing to give her a chance. It didn’t mean he would forgive her or even see that she had changed, but it was something. Abby still harboured romantic feelings for him but she would still be happy if their friendship could be mended. It wasn’t exactly what she wanted, but it would have to do. She wouldn’t tear Owen and Mel apart for the sake of her own romantic feelings for him. He deserved to be happy, and if he ultimately decided on telling her to fuck off, well, she would have to deal with it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Feeling less guilty and more nervous, Abby shut out her light and closed her eyes. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The thought of facing Owen and Mel terrified her. But she knew this was the right thing to do. She would have to step out of her comfort zone in order to leave behind the woman she once was, and step forward, closer to the woman she wanted to be. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Maybe she couldn’t fix everything, but she had to try. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello my friends. Hope you enjoyed this one. </p><p>I need some help. Kinda spoiling my own story here, but I have a scene where Ellie’ plays her guitar and sings. I need a song that has lyrics symbolising about moving forward/moving on or overcoming hardships and becoming happier - something along those lines. I have the entire chapter written apart from the song. My musical taste doesn’t really fit what I’m looking for, so any help would be amazing. If you wanted to message me on Tumblr, my handle is bighandsghostfingers. </p><p>And one more thing... just out of interest, would you guys like to see Ellie and Abby meeting up to talk? I already know how the story is going to end but I guess I just wanna know what you guys think. Let them move on on their own or talk it out? </p><p>Thank you all for reading, see you when I have a suitable song for the chapter I guess!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. gather round the campfire and sing our campfire song</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The gang goes camping and get smashed.  Ellie reflects.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">This was it. The final month of senior year, the last few weeks of high school. Ellie couldn’t exactly pinpoint what it was that made it feel so unreal. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The entire school seemed to be buzzing. Even the lower grades who still had tests to complete and course work to finish seemed excited. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The holidays were approaching, other kids had already started to organise plans for trips and vacations with their friends. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was strange to digest that Ellie had less than four weeks left of high school. She was aware it was coming to an end but couldn’t quite grasp it, couldn’t quite get the thought to settle in her mind and believe it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She’d completed her last test a few days previous. She’d filled in her graduation papers and had been accepted to college (yeah, you heard that right, Ellie Williams was going to fucking college). All of her friends had been accepted to their respective colleges too. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And now there was just under four weeks left. It felt surreal. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She’d already had her commencement gown fitted. There had already been a practice ceremony for the graduation. It was so fucking close. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie hadn’t felt this content in a long time. A small part of her nagged her into thinking that things were too good, that something would happen and she’d end up feeling lost all over again. But the stronger, more defined part of herself knew it wasn’t true. It may have taken her a long time, but Ellie knew she deserved to be happy and the people in her life loved her just as much as she loved them. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sure, she’d done some bad things. Nearly strangling another student to death wasn’t one of her proudest achievements; she still thought about it every day, sometimes still dreamt about it, too. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Surrounding herself with people who loved her made it easier to deal with. It didn’t suffocate her like it used to. She could go to sleep and wake up feeling content with her life. A year ago, that hadn’t felt even remotely possible, she never thought she was going to escape the hole she’d fallen into. The giant gaping hole that had once dragged her into a deep depression and a pit of hurt now felt like nothing more than a little pinprick in the soil. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ellie?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah?” Ellie blinked a few times, realising she’d drifted off into a daydream whilst uncomfortably perched on the arm of Joel’s couch. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Joel stood before her, his arms crossed lazily over his chest and his hip cocked out. There was a gentle smile on his ageing features. “What’re you smilin’ about?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Just thinking. High school is nearly over.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Joel hummed, tapping his booted foot against the floor. “Can’t quite believe it?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie shook her head. “No. I can’t tell if the past 4 years have been slow or fast. It kinda feels like a blur but at the same time it feels like it’s been forever. Does that make sense?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah. It does. College will fly by even faster, trust me.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie let out a breathy laugh, unable to stop the smile that crept onto her face. “Don’t remind me. I don’t think I’m quite prepared for college life yet.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You still got four weeks of school and an entire summer ahead of you, kiddo. You’ll have plenty of time to worry about college later on.” He glanced the clock on the wall, “what time is Jesse picking you up?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Uhm,” she fumbled for her phone to check the time, “6 o’clock. So... 13 minutes ago?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">As if right on que, there was the loud honk of a horn outside the house. Fashionably late as always. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Guess that’s me.” Ellie said, jumping off the arm of the worn couch and shaking her leg to attempt to get some feeling back into her butt. How long had she been sat there? </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You be careful out there, you hear? Don’t want Dina comin’ back here in tears telling me you got eaten by a grizzly bear.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s just camping, Joel. No need to worry yourself.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Just send me a text once a day, you hear? I know it’s only for the weekend but at least let me know you’re all okay every day.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The horn beeped again, signalling it was time to go. Joel helped her haul her bags onto her shoulders. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah, I will. Don’t have too much fun without me, old man.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She said her goodbyes to Esther and Joel and hurried down the pavement, where Jesse had hastily parked the truck up the curb. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie threw her bag in the back of the truck and clambered into the seat beside Dina. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ollie was in the front with Jesse, leaving the three girls squished in the back together. Being in such a confined space made Ellie’s nose twitch as the scents of cologne and different perfumes mixed into one strong aroma. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey babe,” Ellie greeted her girlfriend, pressing a quick kiss to her cheek. “Hey guys.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They all greeted her back with eager excitement. They’d been planning this trip for weeks. Emily had suggested they do something exciting in their final weeks of high school, and what better way was there to celebrate then going camping and getting blackout drunk for an entire weekend? </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina had even managed to convince Ellie to bring her guitar. At first, Ellie had flat out refused; she was only comfortable playing in front of Joel and Dina. She hadn’t even sang in front of Tommy or Maria. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But, as it turns out, Dina was very good at convincing her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They reached the campsite an hour before dark. Ellie and Dina were in charge of pitching up the tents whilst Emily was tasked with starting a fire and getting started on the food. Jesse and Ollie wrestled against the wind whilst trying to set up the gazebo that was intended to act as “living area”. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After Ollie was nearly knocked out by a pole careening towards him at a high velocity, the guys decided to leave the gazebo until tomorrow morning and help Ellie and Dina with the tents. Pitching tents was usually a two person job, but the aggressive wind had other plans. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina had to lie on the fabric to keep it from whipping away whilst the guys and Ellie wrestled to slot the poles through the tiny holes. When the poles were in place, Dina and Ollie tried with all of their strength to keep the tent in place whilst Ellie and Jesse hammered at the pegs frantically, fearing that their tent could end up in the next state over if they weren’t quick enough. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The first tent was exhausting enough. The thought of pitching up two more was torturous. Ellie’s arms were already protesting for a rest and even Dina looked exhausted despite her main job being to lie down on the flaccid sheets. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Almost an hour later, the sun was slowly disappearing, the fire becoming their main source of light. Emily had stacked extra rocks around it to prevent the wind from completely stubbing the flames. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“And done!” Jesse exclaimed tiredly, throwing down the hammer carelessly and collapsing into his deck chair with a long, deep sigh. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh, no. We’re not done. We still have to pump up the airbeds.” Emily said, placing another log onto the fire. “If you’re quick, you can be finished by the time the food is ready. I didn’t realise that potatoes would take, like, 24 years to cook over a campfire.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">So, the exhausted teenagers got to work, pumping up the airbeds in record time. Once the beds were made up with pillows and blankets in each tent, one of many crates of beer was transported from the truck to Emily’s tent, the one closest to fire. Jesse made an effort to put a crate in the two remaining tents as well, hoping that the extra weight would add a bit more stability to the tents. Not that he didn’t trust his tent pitching skills, but the rusty tent pegs could not be trusted in these harsh winds. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The tents we pitched in triangle, the fire pit being the centre point. There was enough room between the radius of the fire pit and each tent for deck chairs, allowing the five friends to circle around the fire. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Finally!” Jesse sighed, slumping into his chair and taking a long, deep breath. “Time for a beer and some food.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Bon appetite, as they say.” Emily said as she passed the plastic dishes out to her exhausted camp mates. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Too tired to fully commit to getting paralytic, instead settling for a comforting buzz from the alcohol, the teens called it an early night and crawled into their beds before midnight. There was still an entire weekend ahead of them for heavy drinking sessions. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The air bed felt lumpy and cold underneath Ellie’s body. The cool chill of the air made everything freezing to the touch, including the duvet and the extra blankets piled on top. She had thought it looked extra cozy when they’d made the bed a few hours before, however the nighttime chill had other plans, clearly. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Even with Dina beside her, her bare calves brushing against her own, Ellie couldn’t get comfortable or warm at all. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Will you stop fidgeting?” Dina whispered, jerking away her leg when Ellie’s foot bumped against it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m fucking freezing,” she hissed into the dark, “and I’m pretty sure I’m lying on a pebble.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh, you’re cold?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie was about to reply, ready to defend her case and accuse Dina of hogging the blankets; but Dina’s foot caught her calf, sending an uncomfortable jolt through her body. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fucking hell your feet are freezing. Stop it— Dina, move!” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina snickered, grinning like a mad woman, her icy foot following Ellie’s leg whenever she jerked it away. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Dina please put some fucking socks on —fuck, stop it!” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina only replied with more evil giggles and moved her other foot to join the assault on Ellie’s skin. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Dina—“ Ellie was pleading now, desperate to get the discomfort off of her skin, “I will do anything to get you to stop. They’re like ice blocks.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Eventually, the other girl grew a conscience and stopped finally, shuffling around so that she was facing Ellie. “Okay, I give in. Sorry for making your legs cold.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“You have </span> <span class="s2"><em>really</em> </span> <span class="s1">upset me. I regret coming on this camping trip, take me home.” </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Aww,” Dina cooed mockingly, moving a hand through the dark to pinch Ellie’s cheek, a little to close to her eye socket, “big bad Ellie doesn’t like the cold?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie scoffed and pushed her cold fingers under Dina’s shirt, finding the smooth skin of her waist, causing the other girl to hiss and squirm. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah, not nice is it?” Ellie challenged, manoeuvring her other hand so that her fingers could assault the other side of Dina’s stomach with her ice-like fingers. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Eventually, Ellie started to feel bad that she was making Dina cold. Their freezing hands and feet calmed their assaults and they finally settled next to each other, both laying on their backs, staring at the ceiling of the tent. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“This is better than a vacation to Europe or something.” Dina said quietly into the dark. “Just something about being outside, near the trees and the lake is just so relaxing.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You can be near trees and a lake in Europe, idiot.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina thumped her arm, but her voice was light, like she was remembering something special to her, “I know. Just being here with you and our friends, it just feels right, you know? I feel like everything just falls away and it’s just us.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie hummed and shuffled a little closer to Dina, seeking to offer body warmth. “I know what you mean.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina melted into the extra contact, shuffling awkwardly onto her side, the air bed beneath them dipping and bringing them closer together. Dina nudged her way underneath Ellie’s arm the same way she always did, winding an arm over Ellie’s belly under her shirt and tucked her head into her chest. Ellie shivered at the feeling of Dina’s hand on her skin, still sensitive to the cold. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Still cold?” Dina whispered against her neck, ghosting her lips over the sensitive spot she knew always set Ellie off. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah.” Ellie replied, shivering at the feeling of Dina’s pressing kisses against her neck. She was quickly forgetting the cold, all of the limited heat in her body flowing down low in her stomach. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I know how we can warm up.” Dina teased, teeth pinching Ellie’s ear lobe, making the taller girl jerk and shiver. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Unable to help herself, Ellie traced her fingers over the curve of Dina’s waist, fingers following the dip up to her hip. She let her head fall to the side, allowing more access to the sensitive skin there. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Dina sat up and threw her leg over Ellie’s hips to straddle her, the girl on top smacked away Ellie’s hand attempting to lift her shirt off. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Ellie opened her mouth to protest, Dina leaned down to silence her with a kiss. “It’s too cold. At least let me keep my shirt on.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fine, keep it on.” Ellie whispered back, slipping her hands under the fabric and running her thumbs over Dina’s nipples, exposing Dina’s stomach in the process. If Dina was bothered by her slightly cold fingers, she didn’t show it, instead arching into Ellie’s touch and rocking her hips. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Later, with the dull buzz of lingering pleasure between her legs, Ellie flopped down beside a barely conscious Dina and allowed her to crawl back into her awaiting arms. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You warmed up now?” Dina said breathlessly, heart still thumping madly against her rib cage as her body slowly came down. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I am. But now I gotta pee. All of that work to get warm for nothing.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“For nothing? That’s low, Ellie, real low.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m open to the option of round two when I get back. You know, to warm up again.” Ellie said lowly, nuzzling one side of her face into Dina’s loose hair before awkwardly rolling off of the air bed. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina moved to join her, fishing blindly in the dark for something to wear over her sleep attire. Goat pyjama shorts weren’t really ideal for the nighttime chill, but Ellie’s sweats were. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The walk to the bathroom stalls was a short one, just a few minutes away from their tent. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">By the time they relieved themselves and made it back to their tent, shivers assaulted their bodies. They dove straight back under the covers in search of warmth and comfort. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Not much time passed before they got to work warming each other up again. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">——————-</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Friday morning was spent greedily inhaling Emily’s incredible breakfast she’d cooked up on the fire. The morning chill quickly disappeared, replaced by golden rays of sunshine that warmed their skin. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After breakfast and showers, the teenagers gathered their bags and started the small trek to the lake. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was a popular spot for highschool students during the summer, especially this time of the year. But it was early afternoon and a Friday (they’d skipped one day of school like the absolute rebels they were) so the lake would most likely be empty. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The group of friends spent the majority of the afternoon there. Swimming in the lake, bathing in the sun and munching on sandwiches. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Ollie and Jesse discovered that Ellie had only learnt to swim a couple of years prior, they wrestled her arms and threw her into the lake, still fully clothed. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fuck you guys!” She’d sputtered, hair sticking to her face and dirty lake water gurgling in the back of her throat. “I could’ve fucking drowned, you assholes!” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And the boys just laughed, telling her she was fine. It reminded her of Joel teaching her to swim, how he’d laughed and kidded around before Ellie managed to get one back at him, pushing him into the creek with her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And then she had spotted Dina striding towards her in a bikini and Ellie forgot all about the awful taste in her mouth.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was nearing 7pm when they returned to their tents. Emily, the designated cook, showered whilst Ollie worked to get the fire going. Once she returned, no longer smelling of dirty lake water, she dismissed everyone to go shower whilst she started on the food. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Thanks, Emily. That was fucking amazing!” Ollie exclaiming, patting his bloated his stomach once the food was consumed. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Glad you like it, darlings.” Emily replied, content at the sight of four happy faces with fully bellies beaming at her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I think it’s time for dessert!” Jesse exclaimed, leaning back in his chair so he could grasp for something inside his tent. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">How he didn’t fall back on the inclined chair was a miracle, especially considering the four cans of beer he’d already consumed in the past hour. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He produced five red cups from his tent and filled them all at least half full of vodka. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Jesus, Jesse. You trying to kill us or something?” Dina grimaced, cringing at the clear liquid sloshing around in the cup. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s time for a drinking game!” He yelled, leaning over to his right to pass Ollie the mixers. He passed the lemonade to to Emily before pouring coke into his cup. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Once everyone had mixed their drinks, blended to a perfect 50/50 ratio, all eyes fell onto Jesse. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s time to figure out who the worst person is.” He said seriously, the fire reflecting on his dark orbs. “We’re playing Never Have I Ever. One of us says a statement, and you take a sip if it’s something you’ve done. For example; never have I ever... skipped school.” Everyone nodded their understanding and took a tiny sip from their cups. “Great. So let’s start with Ollie and go around clockwise. The first person to finish their drinks is officially the worst person.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ollie pondered a few moments on a question, dark fingers tapping absently against the plastic. “Okay. I’m gonna start off easy. I’m not quite drunk enough to know who’s licked an asshole yet. Never have I ever... got detention.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Everyone drank. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Never have I ever... cheated on a test.” Emily asked, her hands still firm on the cup, indicating she hadn’t ever cheated. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie and Ollie sipped their drink quietly.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina raised a brow at her girlfriend, “disappointing. My girlfriend is a fraud. Never have I ever... stolen money from a parent to buy something I wanted.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Everyone bar Ellie sipped their drink, all quickly stumbling to explain that they had only done it to buy candy and other small things when they were children. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie hummed, thinking of a question. She’d done a lot of dumb stuff in her life and tried to think of something that wouldn’t require her to drink. “Uhm, never have I ever kissed a dude.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Scowling, Dina and Emily sipped their vodka lemonades. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They went around the circle again, voicing minuscule questions: never have I ever broken a bone, never have I ever pulled an all-nighter, never have I ever worn the same underwear for more than one day, etc. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jesse rubbed his hands together, an evil smirk tugging at his lips. The shadows that projected on his stubbly face made him look particularly menacing. “Alright. Enough of the easy ones. It’s time we get gritty... Never have I ever pissed myself in public.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">With a pained groan, Emily bought the cup to her lips and sipped whilst Dina laughed at the memory. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Never have I ever kissed someone before knowing their name.” Ollie said, bringing the drink to his mouth and watching as Jesse also took a sip. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Emily, who’s drink was getting close to half empty, decided in order to win, she needed to play this tactically. “Never have I ever...” her blue eyes squinted and she eyed the two girls to her right, “—had sex in </span> <span class="s2"><em>my</em> </span> <span class="s1">parents bedroom.” </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina cackled with laughter whilst Ellie groaned. They took their drinks, ignoring the shocked protests from the boys. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina sneered at her friend. “You wanna play dirty, Emily? I can play dirty too. Never have I ever had a fear of clowns.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Emily sipped her drink, muttering a small “I fucking hate clowns” into her cup. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Another round passed and Ellie was thankful that the questions weren’t too personal yet. But the direct stare from Dina was making her nervous. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina raised a brow, looking straight at Ellie. “Never have I ever had less than 10 fingers.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh fuck you,” Ellie scowled, offended that her own girlfriend was plotting against her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Never have I ever...” Jesse slurred, eyes searching his friends faces for some inspiration, “—never have I ever, uhh... had gay sex.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">With an eye roll, Dina sipped her drink. Ellie mimicked, eyes widening at the sight of less than half in her cup. Someone was bound to lose the game sooner or later, and she was determined to ensure that it wasn’t her. Dina would remind her of it for the rest of her life. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Ollie couldn’t think of a question, instead passing it on to Emily. The girl sighed and tapped her chin until she thought of a statement. “Never have I ever faked an orgasm.” No one drank. “Well, isn’t it just </span> <span class="s2"><em>lovely</em> </span> <span class="s1">to know we all have such wonderful sex lives. Not that I’m getting any.” </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Never have I ever watched lesbian porn.” Dina said slyly. Everyone bar Emily drank. “You know, it’s kinda dumb that lesbian porn isn’t even made for lesbians. It’s just for horny men. It’s so fake, not realistic whatsoever—“ </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s enough!” Ollie interjected, “I don’t wanna hear anymore of your personal experiences.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie sifted through her drunken thoughts to think of another question. Her drink was almost empty now and she was determined to not be the loser. “Never have I ever... taken anything harder then weed?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Nobody drank. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Never have I ever gotten into a fight.” Jesse said, slurping his barely full drink. Ollie and Ellie took small sips, trying to make it last. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">In the end, it was Emily’s question that decided to loser. “Never have I ever... had a mullet hair style.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And so, Jesse was declared the loser. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The remainder of the night was spent telling stories and poking fun at each other. Since Jesse lost the game, he was the prime target. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The room - well, tent - was spinning when Ellie when she finally flopped into bed. Dina was in no better shape, drunkenly wrestling with the blankets and covers and pulling so hard so she accidentally punched herself in the face. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jesse and Ollie stayed beside the fire whilst the girls retired to bed. Of course, intoxicated Ellie and Dina had no intention of sleeping straight away. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie wasted no time crawling on top of her girlfriend and flattening her with her weight. Usually, Dina loved being absolutely smothered by Ellie lying on top of her, but the copious amounts of alcohol in her belly didn’t agree. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After some readjusting and clumsy manoeuvring, Ellie removed Dina’s sweats and teased her over her underwear, looming over her in nothing but her boxers. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina tended to get vocal when they were drunk. The last thing they needed was their friends hearing them muck around in their tent. Ellie lifted her index finger to her lips in a shushing motion, unable to control the smile that split her face at the sound of Dina’s giggles. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Looks funny when you do that with your bad hand.” Dina laughed, leaning up to loop her arms around her girlfriend’s neck. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Ellie rolled her eyes and continued to lightly thumb Dina’s clit over her underwear. “Yeah, my missing appendages are </span> <span class="s2"><em>so</em> </span> <span class="s1">hilarious.” </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina ignored her and aggressively tugged Ellie down into an open mouthed kiss.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Too distracted by the sweet sounds of Dina’s tiny little moans and the feeling of wetness against her fingers, Ellie barely registered Dina’s hand reaching up and slipping into her underwear. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They moved and rocked together for a few minutes, swallowing each other’s moans and sounds and enjoying the feeling of each other. It was hard to keep balanced above Dina, the alcohol dizzying her vision and the air bed shifting awkwardly beneath her knees, but they managed to make it work. There was no way Ellie was going to let anything stop her ministrations right now. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And when Ellie felt the build up creeping upon her, she jerked into Dina’s hand, whispering her name. Dina was soft and pliant beneath her, bucking into her hand, tiny moans escaping her mouth, so, so beautiful— </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There was a zipping sound and moonlight flooded through and every good feeling in Ellie’s body was replaced by blinding panic. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey Dina can I borrow your hairbrush— oh my fucking god, I’m so sorry, fuck—“ The voice of the intruder sounded almost embarrassed as Ellie felt. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Emily didn’t even bother to zip the door back up she ran away so quickly. Jesse and Ollie’s booming laughter could be heard following Emily’s shriek of terror. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">All the mounted pleasure that had been building up in Ellie’s body was practically non existent now, nothing but an irritating thrum between her legs. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina swiped a hand over her face and sighed deeply, completely devastated by the loss of her orgasm that had been minutes away. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie just dropped down, defeated, smothering Dina’s body with her own. Their hands were still trapped between their bodies but the feeling of embarrassment and devastation was too great for them to care. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I swear she did that on purpose.” Dina grumbled, her free arm that wasn’t trapped falling off of Ellie’s back to lay limply beside them. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Would you hate me if I murdered your best friend?” Ellie breathed lowly, mumbling into the pillow. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No. In fact I was thinking about the same thing.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">With a huff of frustration, Ellie pulled a spare blanket up to her chest and stuck her head of the gap Emily had so kindly left open for them. “Maybe a little warning next time?!” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Emily, who was now brushing her hair with Jesse’s comb beside the fire, gave Ellie a sheepish look and uttered her apology. Jesse and Ollie were holding back tears trying to conceal their laughter. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A final glare was shot towards her asshole friends before tucking herself back into the tent and zipping it back up. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So...” Ellie began awkwardly, dropping her voice to nothing but a whisper, “is the mood completely fucked now?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“The mood is fucking decimated—“ Ellie’s shoulders slumped “—but... I’m way too turned on to go to bed so just get your ass back over here.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Smirking ecstatically, embarrassment now forgotten at Dina’s desperate request, Ellie crawled back up Dina’s body and resumed their previous position. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fingers found slick flesh and it took no time for them to get back into the groove of pleasuring each other. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Dina got a little too loud for their liking, Ellie, still drunk, dived down to silence her with her mouth but instead miscalculated the distance and head butted her, their foreheads colliding with a thump. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ow—“ </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh fuck, sorry—“ </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And Ellie, trying to be the sweet and caring girlfriend she was, curled forward to kiss Dina’s forehead in a silent apology but Dina miscalculated, thinking Ellie was aiming her lips. The girl beneath tilted her head upwards and the underside of Ellie’s nose crashed into Dina’s chin. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fuck, ouch—“ </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s payback— oh shit you’re bleeding.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was hard to see in the relative darkness of their tent, but a slow stream of blood trickled out of Ellie’s nose, coming dangerously close to dripping off her chin. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina withdrew her hand and quickly shuffled out of the bed whilst Ellie cupped a hand to her face and sat up on her knees. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After pulling on a random shirt and tugging on Ellie’s sweats, Dina tumbled out of their tent to ask for tissues. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie could hear the teasing jabs coming from her friends “—oooh, what do you need tissues for, Dina?—“ but didn’t dwell on them, trying to concentrate on not spilling blood all over their belongings. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina was back a few minutes later with an insane amount of tissues and some hand sanitizers. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Luckily, the bleeding was rather mild compared to what Ellie had experienced when Abby had broken her nose, so it could be easily handled. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It took a solid five minutes to clean up the blood and for Ellie to tactically wash her hands with a bottle of water and a bar of soap. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Right,” Dina huffed, finally settling down into bed once more. She looked up Ellie with hooded eyes and an apologetic smile, “third times a charm?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">——————</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Saturday morning arrived, as well as the mild hangovers that last night had promised them. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jesse and Ollie were the last to emerge from their tent, eyes droopy and tired. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The three girls hadn’t been that far ahead of them. Ellie and Dina had clambered out their tent at 10am to greet Emily, who had only just started on lighting the disposable barbecue. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Good night?” She’d asked, smirking devilishly at the couple. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“Emily, just because </span> <span class="s2">you’re </span> <span class="s1">not getting any doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to enjoy sex with my girlfriend.” Dina had growled in return. </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And Emily had offered them a half assed apology, as well as cheekily complimenting Ellie’s ass. “When I opened up the tent flap the last thing I expected to see was Ellie’s cute little butt staring me in the face.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Thank fuck I was still wearing underwear...” Ellie muttered to herself. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And so Dina dragged a red-faced Ellie to the shower block. The water was too cold, then too hot, but the fluctuating temperature was surprisingly helpful with their hangovers. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Today’s plans consisted of drinking enough water and eating enough food to cure them of the hangovers before repeating last night all over again. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jesse and Ollie we’re definitely struggling. Even after Emily’s famous breakfast, the two of them still couldn’t function properly. Jesse kept falling in and out of sleep in his deck chair whilst Ollie lay on a blanket, silently reading one of Ellie’s borrowed comics. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Even though no one was really doing anything exciting, it certainly wasn’t boring. It was nice to relax in the company of friends, with the sun beating down on them and the smell of crisp air surrounding them. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The girls decided to leave the boys to nurse their hangovers and go for a walk around the forest. Such a beautiful day shouldn’t be spent just sitting in it feeling sorry for themselves. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was a beautiful trail, full of wildlife and expanses of different trees and plants to inspect. It was incredibly calming and quiet and wonderful. Something deep inside of Ellie welled up as she caught sight of the sunlight peaking through the trees. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She remembered her conversation with Joel just before she left for the camping trip and the feeling of contentment almost consumed her. So many good feelings shouldn’t feel this overwhelming. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You good, El?” Dina asked, looking at her with those big, dark eyes. Ellie felt close to tears and she didn’t know why. She just felt so happy, so content. Like she’d finally found what she didn’t know she’d been looking for. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah.” Ellie quickly swiped her eyes and gave her girlfriend a watery smile. “I’m great.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Things were great. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">——————-</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sipping beers around the roaring campfire with toasted marshmallows in her hand, Ellie couldn’t help but smile at the memory of Joel taking her on her first camping trip almost three years ago. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The fire crackled the same way it did back then, the sweet scent of burnt sugar still tickled the back of her throat the same it had done before when Joel had handed her a stick that looked more like burnt shit than marshmallows. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Since they were going home tomorrow afternoon, they drank their alcohol a little slower than the previous night. Of course, that didn’t mean they weren’t planning on getting fucked up again. Being drunk was always fun, but getting drunk around a campfire was even better. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They were at the point between tipsy and drunk, a case of beer already consumed between the five of them. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ellie, how did you know you were gay?” Jesse had asked her at some point during the night. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie shrugged and twisted her bottle in her hands. “Think I always knew. I’ve never looked at a dude and thought ‘oh, he’s hot’. I mean, no offence of anything. You’re... handsome and all, just... not my type.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What, Asians?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Everyone barked a laugh at that. “Yeah, that’s—that’s exactly it.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And the minutes ticked by as the night grew darker and colder. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Influenced by the buzz of alcohol in their systems, the teenagers took it in turns to share their favourite memories from high school. Jesse reminisced about about a skiing trip they’d all attended in Junior year, where apparently the four of them had snook in some liquor and drank through the night, spending an entire day drunk and trying to hide it from their teachers. Ollie regarded that as one of his favourite high school memories too, laughing at the thought of a still-drunk sleep deprived Jesse crashing into a tree on a snowboard. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Emily shared a more recent memory. She grinned brightly as she spoke about winning the hockey finals, spoke of how it was the perfect way to end the year and see all of her hard work paying off. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina spoke of a lot of memories. She said she didn’t really have a favourite, but she talked about many things that had made her happy. A lot of those things she spoke of Ellie hadn’t been present for, but there was a few things she was. Dina talked about Beth’s party, spoke about an award she’d won in Sophomore year for her creative arts class. And finally, with an uncharacteristic bashful smile, she spoke about the first time Ellie had played the guitar for her, how it was engrained in her memory as one of the happiest moments of her life. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And when Dina stopped speaking, four pairs of eyes settled on Ellie, eagerly waiting for her to share. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And where would she start? Her four years in high school had been a complete rollercoaster. She didn’t have many happy memories to share, but the select few that she did were incredibly special to her. She’d met Joel not longer after she started freshman year. She remembered the first time she held his guitar, the first time he’d given her a comic at Eugene’s home. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Her sophomore and junior years had been incredibly hard. She had a few happy memories mixed in, but they only included her family and had nothing to do with high school. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And senior year had just been a whirlwind of emotions. Ellie found that she wouldn’t change it for the world. There were so many memories she cherished from this small chapter of her life. Meeting Dina and befriending her, being welcomed into her friendship group with open arms and warm smiles, the first time she played her guitar for Dina, even this camping trip. There were just too many choose just one. So, she started from the beginning. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Honestly...” she began, fingers drumming against the cool metal of her beer can, “my high school experience kinda sucked. Joel adopted me at the start of freshman year, so obviously that’s a pretty good memory. It kinda went all shitty after that.” She paused for a few moments, wondering if this was a little too deep or too depressing for her friends. She didn’t want to damped the mood. However, she felt comfortable to continue when she was met with four pairs of encouraging eyes looking right back at her. She cleared her throat and continued. “I don’t know how much Dina might’ve told you all but I wasn’t the most popular kid back at my previous school. Anyway, I got into a big fight at the end of junior year and well...” she held up her hand, allowing her friends to slot the puzzle pieces together for themselves, “shit happened.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">With a little ironic laugh, Ellie offered a little smile to reassure her friends she wasn’t getting upset. Talking about this felt easy now, like she’d taken another step towards getting over it. “Anyways, I got kicked out for fighting. Fast forward to senior year and I still wasn’t over it. And then I met Dina. So, I guess that’s happy memory number 2.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina smiled at her in a way that made Ellie feel like the most precious thing in the entire world. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie smiled back softly before continuing, lifting her eyes to meet those of her friends, who patiently waited for her to continue with supportive nods. “And I guess happy memory number 3 came when Dina introduced me to you guys. Growing up I didn’t really have any friends. I moved around too much to have time for that. And since then... the majority of senior year has just been one big happy memory in itself. Everything felt new and scary and exciting and I wouldn’t change any of it.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And she wouldn’t. Her life had been hard, it had been painful and scary and bleak, but that life had lead her here, to this very moment, where she could reflect on the past and remember it all with a smile instead of frown. Where her heart filled with pride and happiness and contentment and not pain or sadness or longing. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">That same feeling of contentment swelled inside her chest and tears pricked at her eyes. She’d never felt so full in her life, not when Joel had adopted her, not even when Dina had kissed her for the first time. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Things had never been so perfect. It felt as if the jigsaw pieces were coming together; not all quite fitting, still a little jagged and sharp at the edges; but Ellie figured they would always be like that, and she was okay with that. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Jesse and Ollie left to take a trip the bathroom a minutes walk away and Emily dived inside of her tent to retrieve an extra blanket, Dina shuffled her deck chair to sit right beside Ellie.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m so proud of you,” she mumbled, reaching out her hand to hold Ellie’s in her own. Her hands were cold, but Ellie didn’t mind. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ellie hummed contently, squeezing the soft flesh of Dina’s hand. “I love you.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina answered back and pulled her into a sweet kiss, radiating every ounce of love and affection into it that she could. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And Ellie grasped onto it, knowing just how much Dina felt for her and opening herself up to it. Something that had been so scary once upon a time now felt so easy. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina pulled away and ran the back of her hand down Ellie’s face, smudging a tear track that Ellie hadn’t even been aware of. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You should play guitar for us.” Dina said quietly, her slender fingers still stroking Ellie’s face. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And somehow, for the very first time, no nerves creeped up her throat and threatened to suffocate her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“But not Take On Me; that’s our song.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Of course.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">——————</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Their friends had been pleasantly surprised and excited to return back to their seats seeing Ellie with her guitar in her lap. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“Holy shit, Ellie’s gonna play for us? </span> <span class="s2"><em>Finally</em>.” </span> <span class="s1">Emily exclaimed, fighting off the urge to express her eagerness by doing something ridiculous. </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey, you know I had relearn how to play again, right? This shit takes years of practise.” Ellie shot back playfully, her eyes down and squinted as she fiddled to ensure the guitar was tuned correctly. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You played for Dina, like, forever ago.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“Yeah, but I practised that </span> <span class="s2"><em>one</em> </span> <span class="s1">song for months. As right handed person learning to play left handed, I think you should cut me some slack.” </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She did one final test of the strings, pleased to hear the pleasant sound that met her ears. Joel would be so proud of her if he knew she was playing in front of a small audience. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You guys ready to be amazed?” Ellie said jokingly, shuffling to sit up straight and adjust the guitar in her lap as she readied her fingers. “And please, don’t call me out if I mess up. I am working with 3 fifths of a hand. And I’m drunk.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She sighed and focused on her fingers as the tune mindlessly came to her. Her fingers work without much work and it all comes together, like she’s always played like this. It feels right. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“</span> <span class="s2"> <em>Here comes the sun, do, dun, do, do</em> </span></p><p class="p1">
  <em>Here comes the sun, and I say</em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2"> <em>It's all right</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2"> <em>Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2"> <em>Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here” </em> </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yeah, Ellie was aware it was a cliché song, but for the things she’d felt today, the things she’d shared today, no other song felt right for the moment. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s1">“</span> <span class="s2">Little darling, the smile's returning to their faces</span> </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2"> <em>Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here”</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She thought of Joel, her found family and Esther. How she hadn’t realised how much they had hurt for her after everything that had happened with Abby. How she knew that they cared about her, but couldn’t see how much they shared her own pain. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And now that Ellie was happy, back on her feet and thriving in a way she never had before, they were happy, too. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2"> <em>“Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2"> <em>Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear” </em> </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Nightmares still plagued her some nights. The crunch of her bones and the blood spilt on that day still haunted her when the panic set in, but those times were few and far between now. She’d never faced it alone, but these days it felt like even if Joel or Dina wasn’t there to hold her hand to help her through it, she could tackle her demons head on and still come out on top. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The reminders of her past would always be there; she would never forget being the orphan child that had no friends. Nor could she ever forget what had happened at the end of junior year and all of the painful events that lead up to it, but that was okay. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“</span> <span class="s2"> <em>Here comes the sun, do, dun, do, do</em> </span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2"> <em>Here comes the sun, and I say</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2"> <em>It's all right...” </em> </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When the song ended, Ellie shifted her legs and bit the inside of her cheek, bashful and a little embarrassed at having played in front of a small audience for the first time ever. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It took a few seconds after the song’s ending for her friends to shoot out of their seats and smother her in a giant hug. Despite feeling like she could either suffocate or vomit from the pressure against her ribcage, Ellie just laughed along with her friends, feeling all her anxieties wash away. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Eventually, the arms wrapped tight around her figure released her and she could finally meet her girlfriends eyes across the fire. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The flickering flames highlighted Dina’s features, her eyes shining like warm honey, her eyelashes casting tiny shadows over her eyelids. Ellie swore Dina got more beautiful every time she saw her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Amongst the excited chatter from their friends, Dina rushed towards her girlfriend, pulling the taller down into a crushing kiss by the collar of the hoodie she wore. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dina didn’t have to say anything to let Ellie know how proud of her she was. Ellie knew it by now. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Later, when Dina’s naked body slotted against her own, warming her from the inside out, Dina smiled softly at her and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I don’t think I told you how beautifully you played tonight. It was like falling in love with you all over again.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">That familiar giddy, excited feeling bubbled in Ellie’s chest and all she could do was grin back at her like a fool. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I love you so much.” Was all Ellie could manage, her heart swelling so much that her brain couldn’t form any other sentences for her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I know. I love you too.” And then that sweet, innocent smile was replaced with something devilish as Dina straddled her hips and slid her hands over Ellie’s forearms, slowly bringing them up over her head, pinning them lightly into the pillows underneath Ellie’s head. “So... do you think we can make it through the night without any disruptions...?” </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>First of all... apologies for the long wait. Honestly I don’t even have an excuse. Education sucks at the minute with Corona and stuff :( </p><p>So if you’re wondering why I didn’t show Ellie/Dina at prom or receiving their college acceptance letters... it’s because I didn’t know you Americans had prom in like, February/March, and I didn’t know acceptance letters came in April either! Where I’m from Prom is usually July time. And as for acceptance letters to uni, well it depends a lot of the time. I had nooo idea just how different it is over there in the US. So, partially my fault for not researching enough. I just assumed prom would be at the end of the year. My bad :)</p><p>Another note, most of the things that happen in this chapter are similar to my own life experiences. I lost at Never Have I Ever and my best friend saw me butt naked with my girlfriend in the tent. Embarrassing times that we still laugh at today six years down the line. </p><p>Thank you to everyone for the song suggestions for this chapter but I just had to pick the cliché one. Big thanks to unadulteratedcolorkid on tumblr for helping me out with this one. And as always, thank you all for reading and for the amazing support. I hope your 2021 is better than your 2020.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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